Straightening Ali (21 page)

He felt a sudden urge to eat, more out of comfort then out of hunger. Spotting a small newsagents, he parked his car and bought himself two eight bar multi-packs of Kit Kat before continuing his drive, munching on the chocolate as he drove.

The house was still twinkling brightly with the fairy lights when Ali parked his car opposite. The house gave off a warm and welcoming aura that seemed like an invitation to join the family, but this wasn’t what he wanted. The depth of his unhappiness almost seemed to overwhelm him as he sat in his car watching the shadows behind the net curtains. “What am I going to do?” he thought to himself for what seemed like the hundredth time.

He took out the new Bollywood disc from its cellophane wrapper and put it into his car’s CD player. He then started to munch on the chocolate bars. It was when he fumbled for another bar and couldn’t find one that he realized he’d eaten all sixteen. They still hadn’t filled the deep routed emptiness inside him.

He needed to talk to someone who understood him, someone who had the knack to make him feel better. Haseena. But he had already been to see her too many times. What if he drove her away with his constant inability to do anything positive about his situation?

Throwing his insecurities aside, Ali started his car and went looking for a phone box to call Haseena. He eventually found one on a main road not far from the house. Getting some change out from his wallet, he got out of the car to make the phone call.

He dialed Haseena’s number hoping she was in and that she’d pick up. “Hello, Haseena,” he said trying to sound cheerful and happy when she answered the call.

“
You seem very happy, Ali, which means you’re not!” she said seeing through his façade.

“
Honestly, I’m happy,” Ali said, not sure whether he wanted to admit to her how he felt in case he drove her away. He just wanted to hear her voice and to feel comforted.

“
Bullshit! You wouldn’t be ringing me if you weren’t upset,” she said. “You’re not okay. You don’t sound fine at all. You sound like you’re still in shock,” Haseena said.

“
I don’t want to burden you with my problems all the time,” Ali replied. “I just wanted to talk to you about normal stuff. “

“
Ali, you’re not burdening me at all. I’m your friend. You don’t have to hide how you’re feeling from me,” Haseena said, trying to reassure him.

“
I know. I’m sorry. I just feel so down in the dumps right now. I wanted to talk about other stuff. Something that would get my mind off my problems,” Ali said, finally admitting that he was depressed.

“
Well, why don’t you leave? It’s not too late,” Haseena advised.

“
We’ve discussed this. I can’t. I’m not running away. I’ve made my decision. I’m staying. I’ll be fine,” Ali said.

“
I’m worried that you might do something stupid if you stay. I’ve never seen you this depressed before. I’m so worried about you,” Haseena said, hearing the melancholy in his voice.

“
Don’t worry, I won’t do anything stupid. I’m too much of a coward for that,” Ali said.

“
You’re not a coward. You’re the bravest person I know. You’ve put aside your own personal happiness for your mother’s sake. I don’t know anyone else who’d do that,” Haseena said.

“
Well, I don’t feel that brave. All I want to do is to kill myself, and I’m too much of a coward to do it,” Ali said, his words slipping out before he had a chance to stop them.

“
Don’t talk nonsense, Ali! Don’t you dare do anything stupid like that,” Haseena warned.

“
I wouldn’t. I’m only joking. Honestly. I’ll talk to you later when I’m feeling more positive,” Ali said wanting to get out of the phone box for some fresh air.

“
No! I want to talk to you for a bit longer,” Haseena said worrying about Ali’s state of mind, knowing that right now she was too far away to be effectual.

“
I’m all right, Haseena. I’ll talk to you later,” Ali said.

“
No wait, Ali, listen to me,” Haseena said, but it was too late. He’d already put the phone down.

Ali got out of the phone box, feeling overwrought. His head seemed to be in a spin. The calm that he’d found earlier while shopping had evaporated. The reality of going back to his in-laws hit him hard. Tonight, he would have to consummate his marriage and then there was no going back.

He got into his car and started the engine. Glancing at the clock on the dashboard, he noticed that there was only an hour left until dinner was to be served. Ali put the car stereo on and turned the volume high before sitting back to drive.

It wasn’t long before Ali looked at the clock on his dashboard again. He then did a double take in shock. Somehow an hour had gone by since he’d started driving. Looking out of the windscreen and taking note of his surrounding for what seemed like the first time, Ali was horrified to find that he was back in Birmingham. He’d driven all the way back to Birmingham!

“
Oh my God! What am I going to do?” he thought to himself in panic. “How could this happen? What’s happening to me?” He parked his car, took out his inhaler and took a few puffs of it. His head was spinning, and he felt very dizzy as if he was about to be sick.

“
I’ve run away!” he thought in realization. He counted to ten before taking some more deep breaths to calm himself and managed to stop himself from hyperventilating. He started his car again, knowing that the only safe place to go was Haseena’s.

“
I’ve run away,” he thought again to himself. “What will my family say when they find out?” That’s when he started to feel really scared.

When he got to Haseena’s house, Ali considered parking his car outside, but feeling worried that his family might come looking for him, he drove his car half a mile away and parked it on a secluded street.

He walked back to Haseena’s and knocked on her front door, which she opened swiftly.

“
Ali!” Haseena exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Nottingham with your wife,” she said sounding baffled as she ushered Ali into the house.

“
I’ve run away,” Ali said calmly trying not to shake.

“
What?” Haseena exclaimed. “When we last spoke, you said you’d made your decision.”

“
I know. I just don’t know what happened. One minute I was driving back to my in-laws, and the next minute I look up and one hour’s gone by, and I’m in Birmingham. I don’t even remember driving back. I don’t know what’s happening to me!” Ali said, unable to recall anything about his journey, worried for his own sanity.

“
It must have been a subconscious thing. Deep down, you must have known that you had to get away, and your mind reacted,” Haseena said, finding an explanation.

“
What am I going to do? I didn’t plan to run away,” Ali said, starting to shake suddenly.

“
Sit down, Ali,” Haseena said, guiding Ali to the sofa. “I’ll make you a cup of tea. It’s okay. You’re just in shock.” She looked down at the shaking figure of her friend, surprised by the sudden turn of events.

Ali’s face seemed drained of all color. “I’ve got to go back. I can’t stay here,” he said still shivering.

“
Ali, you’ve come this far. You’ve left now. Be brave. There’ll be consequences, but I’ll be here to help you to deal with them. You’re not alone,” Haseena said, trying to encourage him to remain strong.

“
My wife’s suitcase is in the car. I have to take it back,” Ali said.

“
Leave it. We’ll sort the suitcase out later. Let me make you a cup of spicy Indian tea to calm your nerves,” Haseena said.

“
Okay,” Ali agreed. He shivered again despite the fact he was sitting in front of Haseena’s gas fire.

Haseena rushed to the kitchen to make Ali a cup of tea. She knew it was going to be a long night.

They heard the noise of angry voices outside Haseena’s front door and then there was a loud knock. “Quick, get up the stairs. Don’t make a sound,” Haseena whispered to Ali urgently. “I’ll check to see who it is. It might be your family.”

Ali began to race up the stairs, but stopped halfway when he heard Haseena scream, “How dare you barge your way into my house!” Ali didn’t try to go any further up the stairs, worried that he might be heard. Instead, he perched himself on a step, trying hard not to shake like a leaf, and attempted to listen to what was happening in Haseena’s lounge.

“
How dare you come into my house without being invited! Who do you think you are?” Ali heard Haseena say.

“
What are you going to do about it, you stupid bitch?” he heard Yasmin’s familiar voice reply. “What have you been saying to my brother to turn him against his own family? How dare you persuade him to run away?”

“
I don’t know what you’re on about. I’ve done nothing of the sort. I haven’t seen him for days,” Haseena exclaimed pretending to be surprised by the news.

“
It’s your influence that’s caused all of this. Don’t think we don’t know. You and your fucked up ideas! Who the bloody hell do you think you are? We’re his family. He should listen to us, not you,” Yasmin raged. “I know he’s here. I know he’s come running to you with lies about us.”

“
I don’t know what you’re accusing me of. I thought you married him off, yesterday,” Haseena said, still denying all knowledge of Ali’s getaway.

“
You know exactly what I’m talking about, you evil bitch! He’s run away, leaving his poor wife behind. You must have told him to. You’re the one who fills his head with stupid shit. He was fine until he met you, but then he became a stranger to his own family,” Yasmin yelled accusingly.

“
My fucked up ideas? I have nothing to do with this. You only have yourselves to blame. You all forced him into a marriage knowing that he’s gay. You should have left him to lead his own life. What did you expect?” You have to take responsibility for what’s happened, not go blaming other people,” Haseena shouted back.

“
Don’t you dare insult my brother. He’s not gay! He knows what we think of gays. They should all be put on an island and shot. He just suffered a lot of stress with university, thought he liked men, and you’ve just encouraged him to believe he’s gay!” Yasmin insisted.

“
He’s gay, your whole family knows it, and you’ve all been trying to cover it up ever since you found out,” Haseena responded. “I’ve never heard of stress turning anyone gay. You’re born that way.”

“
Listen bitch, what do you know? You haven’t got a clue about your own culture. You’ve married a white man, as you can’t have children and still have the nerve to go around calling my brother gay,” Yasmin shouted. “Don’t you realize Ali was meant to be our route into the Nottingham community. He was to open doors for us, and we want him back.”

“
How can you expect me to know where he is? I only hope he’s safe and not about to do anything stupid because of what you’ve forced him into,” Haseena said, trying to sound convincing. She knew that if Yasmin found Ali on the stairs in his fragile state she wouldn’t be able to stop her from persuading him to return to his wife.

“
I know you’ve got something to do with this,” Yasmin said. “My mother’s worried about him. His wife is crying at home because he’s not returned from his shopping trip. If you had an ounce of decency about you then you’d tell me where he is,” Yasmin pleaded.

“
I’ve told you. I don’t know where he is,” Haseena said.

“
You’re lying. You’re hiding him,” Yasmin screamed.

There was a scuffle and the door leading to the staircase suddenly jolted open, startling Ali, but then shut just as suddenly.

“
How dare you! Get out of my house!” he heard Haseena yell. Yasmin’s attempt to get upstairs to search for Ali had been thwarted by Haseena.

“
I’m not leaving until you let me check your bedrooms. I know you’ve got him hiding up there,” Yasmin shouted.

“
I’ve had enough. Get out, or I’ll call the police,” Haseena threatened.

“
I’m not leaving without my brother,” Yasmin replied.

“
Your brother isn’t here. If you don’t leave now, I’ll call the police,” Hasena warned. Ali heard her pick up the phone.

“
Okay, I’m leaving, but I know he’s here, and when he comes out we’ll be waiting. You won’t be able to hide him forever. When Yunus gets back from work, I’ll make sure that he pays you a visit,” Yasmin said.

“
Are you threatening me?” Haseena asked angrily. “I should warn you that Derek will be back soon, and he doesn’t like anyone threatening me.”

“
Well, pass on a message to my dear brother,” Ali heard Yasmin say loudly, as if making sure that anyone hiding in the house would hear her clearly. “Tell him we all love him very much and that he has responsibilities to his wife who is heart broken. Tell him that we will do everything in our power to get him back.”