Stranger in the Mirror [Shades of Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (11 page)

“My Jaguar broke down here in Chattaloo. I thought I was going to get ripped, a young woman alone in a small town. Bernie gave me a reasonable estimate, and his Southern drawl made me melt. He had to order the part from the dealer, and it was going to take a day or two. He took care of me, making me dinner at his house, taking me horseback riding. When my car was ready to go, I wasn’t.”

Marti was trying to pay attention to how Helen was kneading the biscuit dough, but she was too entranced by her story. “It sounds so romantic.”

A melancholy haze fell upon her face. “It was, but it wasn’t perfect. I had hoped once Billy was born that Bernie would stop racing so much, but he didn’t. We had problems, and I made mistakes. By the time Jesse was born, we’d come to an understanding about the racing. And I’d learned an important lesson about the value of love.”

Marti blew out a long breath. “I know about making mistakes. I made a lot of them in my marriage to Jamie. I sure learned my lesson about love: I’m not good at it, and I don’t want to try anymore.”

Helen turned to her. “Surely you don’t mean that.”

“I do. I had my chance, and I blew it. If I couldn’t find love with Jamie, who was loving and tender, how can I find it with anyone else?”

“Oh, I think you’ll find it again. Or more likely, it will find you. Probably in the most unexpected place.”

Billy and Jesse busted through the door then, panting and slick with sweat. Billy stripped off his T-shirt, baring a tattoo of an eagle stretching from one shoulder to the other on his back.

“Billy, get your half-naked sweatiness out of here, wash up, and get back in here to help,” Helen said.

Jesse grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge, pressed one to his flushed forehead, and walked out to hand one to Billy. He stood in the living room, his shirt stripped off, wide shoulders tapering to his waist and narrow hips. The black pants shaped his tight butt nicely. His damp hairs brushed the base of his neck as he moved. When her eyes felt locked to him, he turned and caught her staring. She couldn’t tear her gaze away, and a warm fire burned in her stomach.

“Green beans are easy. You just cut the ends off and put them in the steamer.” Helen’s voice broke Marti out of her spell.

“Hm?”

“Uh oh, having a hot flash?”

The warmth of Marti’s cheeks flamed hotter. “H-hot flash?”

“Pregnant women sometimes have them. Hormones. Your face is all red.”

Marti waved her hand in front of her face. “It’s the first time it’s ever happened to me. That’s probably what it is.” She flicked a glance to Jesse.
Be much safer to believe that.

Dean stopped by, and after a quick perusal of the surroundings, pushed out his lower lip. “Caty’s not here?”

“She’s out birthing a cow,” Helen said. “Come on, wash up and I’ll put you to work.”

They kept everything waiting for Caty until Helen decided the turkey would be dried out if it stayed in the oven any longer.

When Jesse set the turkey platter on the table, Dean said, “At least we’re not having beef for dinner. Katie’d probably be a little upset after helping that baby cow into the world.”

Jesse leaned over and whispered in Marti’s ear, “Just ignore him. Everyone else does.”

Before a single green bean could be dropped onto a plate, they all joined hands for prayer. Jesse’s hand enveloped hers on one side, and Helen took her other one. Billy passed the duty of the “head of the household” onto Jesse, who easily took charge.

“Dear Jesus, thank you for bringing us here together, our health and sanity intact, Billy notwithstanding. We thank you that Caty is absent from our table only because she’s helping a living thing come into the world.” Marti felt him squeeze her hand as he continued. “We thank you for bringing Marti to us and for giving the tiny baby inside her health as he grows. Amen.”

Everyone repeated the Amen, and for a moment, four sets of smiling eyes settled upon her. Uncomfortable under their gazes, she reached over to stab a piece of turkey meat.

CHAPTER 6

The following Monday was another long struggle of balancing trays. Marti saw a lot of the same people she had seen on Saturday.

“Don’t these people have anyplace else to eat?” she’d whispered to Caty during the afternoon rush. “The same people keep coming in, day after day, meal after meal.”

“There’s only two other places in town to eat lunch besides us. At least we offer more variety than Pie in The Sky.”

“Yeah, well, I guess you can only eat so much pizza.”

Marti caught Chuck watching her again. Often he seemed to be studying her from his steamy place in the kitchen. Was he just curious about the changes in her work habits? Sometimes she’d look back at him, and he’d grin at her, then resume whatever he’d been doing.

Jesse was always a welcome visitor, even though he could only order a couple of sandwiches to go today. He sat at the counter and watched her shoulder a tray of meatloaf specials.

“How’s it going, doll? Any better than your first day?”

Whenever he called her ‘doll,’ her legs got all jiggly. Which was not good when shouldering a tray of food. Why he could say it so casually and make her go silly boggled her mind.
romantic. And you don’t want it that way, do you?
Her self didn’t answer, but she was sure she didn’t.

She tried to remember his question. “Uh, it’s okay. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this kind of work.”

“Wish I could stay for a while, but it’s busy today at the garage. I’ll see you after work.”

As he grabbed his white bag, his smile promised more than his words. She was imagining it, of course. That lazy smile, the way he held her hand and called her ‘doll,’ he probably did that to all his women friends. There were no doubt a lot of them, a whole lot of them. She tried to push away the fuzzies dancing in her stomach with reality. And they could have him, because she would be leaving soon.

Once she and Caty cleaned up everything, they locked up the diner and got into Caty’s compact. She didn’t mind riding with Caty, but Marti resolved to start driving the Accord on her next workday. Jesse’s tinkering with the engine was probably a farce to keep her with someone at all times. A little independence sounded good, and she had the can of tear gas to protect her now, courtesy of Jesse.

Caty swerved into Harry’s parking lot like a speedster, pulling the compact car up short just before they would hit the building.

“Do you race cars, too?” Marti asked, prying her fingers off the dash.

Caty’s eyes sparkled. “Jesse lets me drive his stock-car sometimes. Well, I gotta get ready for a test tonight in class. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, tomorrow. Thanks for the ride.”

Marti walked into the open bay, but didn’t see Jesse at first. He was talking, his voice muffled. She approached a red Chevy facing the back wall with the hood up. The engine revved, but no one sat in the driver’s seat. When she walked around the hood, she was taken off guard to find a woman leaning on the car peering down into the engine. A tall, lean woman with short brown hair and dark eyes.

She turned and said, “Hey, Marti. How are you feeling?”

Before Marti could answer, she heard a scooting noise, and Jesse rolled out from beneath the car. “Desiree stopped in to see how you were doing.” His subtle way of letting her know the woman’s name. But who was the beauty wearing a black tank top and jeans?

Marti shrugged. “I’m doing pretty good. Considering.”

Desiree walked around the car and leaned against the side near Marti. “What an awful thing to happen, especially around here. You grow up feeling safe and secure and then something like this happens to rock your boots. Your voice still sounds hoarse, but you look good.”

Jesse grinned. “She sounds like Demi Moore. I like it, kinda soft and sexy.”

Marti turned to look at some tools hanging on the pegboard, hoping to hide her uneasiness. “I want my old voice back.” Hallie’s voice.

“I agree with Jesse. It probably sounds worse to you.”

Something about Desiree bothered her, but she couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe the way she moved, confident, hips swaying as she walked toward the bay door. That’s what it was. Desiree reminded her of Hallie, seductive, with a full mouth and soulful eyes.

Marti watched Jesse’s reaction around Desiree. For some reason, she was curious about his feelings toward her. Why did it make her feel good that he was busy putting his tools away and not watching Desiree’s exit?

“See you both later,” Desiree said as she walked toward a shiny black Jeep. Her snakeskin cowboy boots kicked up puffs of dust.

“Who is she?” The strain in her voice was
not
jealousy. Couldn’t be. Jesse wasn’t even her type.

“She’s a friend,” he said, glancing up to see her Jeep pull away. “Let me wash up and I’ll be ready to go.”

Marti wandered around the shop, kicking at a tire, feeling grungy and small compared to Desiree. A spotty mirror concluded what she didn’t want to know: she was absolutely no match for someone like Desiree, someone like Hallie used to be. The part of her so concerned with appearance still lived inside her. She wished it didn’t. Desiree and Jesse looked good together, both tall, Southern. They both fit in here. She certainly didn’t. It bothered her far too much for her comfort.

His voice broke her out of her thoughts. “Ready?” He came up behind her, smelling of industrial-grade soap. “What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet since you got here.”

“Long day. Let’s go.”

What was wrong? she wondered as they drove home. She had been in a good mood until she’d gotten to the garage. Now she was eager to leave, get her new life started.

When they pulled into the driveway, Bumpus ran out to greet them, barking happily. Strangely enough, his loud happiness at their arrival seemed comforting in that familiar kind of way. Jesse greeted him by grabbing his snout and growling, riling him up even more. Bumpus ran over to Marti and barked, bowing. Yeah,
bowing
.

“That’s dog language for ‘play with me,’” Jesse said.

Start with the dog. She picked up a nearby rubber bone and tossed it for Bumpus to fetch. She was getting too comfortable here, so much so that Desiree’s presence threatened her on a deep, territorial level. She didn’t even have a territory. No, she had to do something about this comfort level.

“Jesse, I want to leave in one month.”

He stopped trying to tug the bone out of Bumpus’s mouth. “What are you talking about?” He looked surprised.

“You knew I wasn’t going to stay.”

“Yeah, but I thought you’d stay until you had the baby.”

“That’s seven months away. Here, I have to play the part of Marti. It’s hard to fit into someone else’s life. I’ll come back before the due date.”

Jesse strode back to the truck and pulled a manila folder from beneath the seat. “Let’s go inside and talk.”

She steeled herself to defend her reasons for leaving.

Jesse sat down at the table. He looked business-like, sifting through papers with a somber expression. She joined him at the table.

He pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it carefully. “I talked to the doctor’s office and the insurance company. If the pregnancy is normal, no complications, this is what our bill will be. My bill. The loan officer at the bank said I could qualify for this much money. That leaves a balance of $8,752. I’ll give you the rest if you stay.”

“You’re buying me off. That’s ridiculous.”

“What are you going to do, drive that piece of junk of a car out to California with a couple hundred bucks in your pocket? You’ve never lived on your own, have you? I mean really on your own.”

“No, but I can take care of myself.”

“That’s not the point. By the time you get there, you’re going to be broke. Where are you going to live, in a homeless shelter? You’re not going to have any money to get your new life started. No money for food, rent, or doctor visits. What if you go into labor early? You want to get out of here so bad, you’re not being realistic.”

He was right, of course. She hated thinking about reality. In her mind, she was going to make it, no matter what. But she had to deal with reality now. He was being fair. After all, she needed money to get a new start, and that was more than she’d ever be able to save working at the diner, or even seven months.

“But you’ll be in debt,” she said.

“That’s my problem. What do you say?”

She looked at the list of numbers, the calculations on that folded piece of paper. “As soon as I’m released from the hospital, the money’s mine, and I’m free to go?”

Jesse’s expression hardened. “You can leave and never look back.”

“You won’t try to convince me to stay and play mommy?”

He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nope.”

“Promise me you won’t put a guilt trip on me for leaving. Because this baby wasn’t my decision. I didn’t ask for this.”

“I promise.”

Then she had a heart-clenching thought: maybe he didn’t want her in his or the baby’s lives.
Gawd, you’re insane
.

She put her hand on her stomach, the baby’s presence still unnoticeable. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

Marti breathed in deeply. “I love the smell of clothing stores. Seems like forever since I’ve been shopping.”

Caty eyed her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get so excited about shopping. You buy clothes, you wear them. Sometimes you even have to try them on.” She wrinkled her nose at that.

“I’ve never met a woman who didn’t love shopping. It’s an
experience
. The excitement of finding a dress that fits perfectly, spotting something outrageously cool that nobody else has. Even better if it’s marked down. It’s absolutely excellent!”

Marti had talked Caty into going to the Ft. Myers mall that evening. She needed decent clothes. Lugging twenty bags of clothing and merchandise finally satiated her need. She glanced at Caty, who was carrying some of the bags over her shoulder, and grinned. Caty was the first woman friend she’d ever had who hadn’t made her feel competitive. Caty was just as attractive as she was, more so. Yet she wasn’t concerned with one-upping her or pretending to be something she wasn’t. It was a new experience, a true friend.