Stranger in the Mirror [Shades of Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (12 page)

Without thinking, she leaned over and gave Caty a sideways hug. “Thanks for keeping me company. Shopping alone isn’t the same.”

Caty smiled wearily. “No problem. It was different. I’m not sure I’m going to get used to that hair, though.”

Marti touched the blonde curls, her most impulsive purchase. The hair stylist had done wonders with the straight brown hair using dye that wouldn’t harm the baby. “I thought it would make me feel more like my old self.”

“Does it?”

She shook her head. “Not really. But I like it. You don’t though.”

Caty forced a smile. “Ah, it’s okay. It’s a pretty color.”

That was another thing; Caty meant what she said. There wasn’t the second-guessing Marti had with Joya.

Feeling warm and thankful, Marti spotted a shirt she thought would look great on Jesse. “What do you think about this for your brother?” she asked, holding up the purple, teal, and maroon shirt with the swirly design.

Caty cocked her head. “Hm, I don’t know. It’s not him.”

Marti took it to the counter. “It’ll do him some good to get out of character once in a while. Look what it’s doing for me.”

“Well, you’re really out of character. Or out of body.”

Marti blew out a breath. “Ain’t that the truth.”

Caty gave her a wry grin. “He’s going to have enough of a time getting used to that hair of yours.”

“You don’t think he’ll like it?” she asked, handing the clerk her new account information.

“You’ll have to find out for yourself.”

“I’m staying, you know,” she said, signing the receipt and cramming the bag in with the rest of her bags.

“You are? Does Jesse know?”

“Of course. He’s the one who proposed the deal.”

“‘The deal’?”

“He’s going to take out a loan to pay the hospital bills and give me the balance.”

Caty processed the information, and suddenly her opinion was important.

Marti turned to her, pausing in the middle of the mall. “Am I a terrible person for taking his offer? For not wanting to stay in the first place? Tell me.”

She shrugged. “I’m not in the habit of judging people. Everyone has their motives and values. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it’s like being in your shoes. I think I would have stayed to have the baby without the bribe.”

Guilt weighing her down, Marti found a nearby bench and sat down. “But you have a family, people who love you and whom you can depend on. It’s different for me.”

“I know it is. You asked my opinion, and I gave it to you. As long as
you
feel it’s the right thing to do, then it is. You have to trust your gut.”

That was the problem. Her feelings weren’t particularly thrilled about the deal, and buying a silly shirt wasn’t going to allay the guilt for putting him in debt.
But I’m staying here, putting my life on hold for seven months for him. He proposed the deal, so he must think it’s okay.

“We went to the doctor this morning, Jesse and I.” Marti wanted to change the subject.

Caty’s smile returned. “Jesse went, too?”

“He insisted.”

“He’s going to make a great father.”

“We heard the baby’s heartbeat. It sounded so fast and loud, kind of like panting.” Marti grinned, then leaned closer to Caty. “You should have seen Jesse’s face. He was like a little kid who just found out he’s getting a pony for his birthday.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. What did the doctor say?”

“Well, I’m eleven weeks pregnant, due June twenty-second. Everything’s fine. I think he took half my blood for all these tests. He prescribed prenatal vitamins and recommended vitamin B for nausea.” She put her hand on her stomach. “Caty, I’m scared. This baby is going to go through so many changes. Things could go wrong.”

Caty patted Marti’s leg. “Everything will be fine, you’ll see. And Jesse will be there with you. We all will.”

Wow, the thought of having people to depend on.
It’s only because of the baby. For Jesse
.

“Dr. Diehl isn’t going to charge us for his services. He said he owed Jesse a lot because he saved his daughter’s life. Desiree’s life.” She’d been dying to know more but hadn’t felt comfortable enough to ask Jesse at the time.

“Well, that’s more money for you then,” Caty said in a tight voice.

“I told Jesse to put the amount he allotted for the doctor back on the loan. I don’t want it. What I do want to know is what he did to save her life. And who is she? To Jesse, I mean.”

Caty leaned back, a contemplative look on her face. “And you want to know because…”

“Just curious.”

“Sure.” Caty nodded. “Jesse and Desiree started dating back when he was in high school. I think part of it was the older woman allure. They were pretty hot and heavy. It wasn’t love so much as lust. That part fizzled out, but they remained friends.

“About six months later, she up and married some guy who’d just moved into town. Desiree’s new husband wasn’t only crazy about her, he was insane. He beat her up. She tried to hide it, but Jesse saw through that and when he couldn’t talk her into leaving him, he did some checking on the guy. Turns out he was wanted in Kansas for nearly killing his last wife. Desiree didn’t even know he
was
married before. Jesse notified the police, and they arrested the bastard. Jesse made sure the guy knew he’d better never come back.

“It took a while for Desiree to get back on her feet, esteem-wise, but Jesse stood by her and talked her into getting counseling. He doesn’t think he did anything special, but I believe he saved her life.”

Caty’s story made Marti feel many different things, some of them she couldn’t explain. Her mind threw her a picture of Jesse and Desiree in a hot clinch. Then she saw him befriending her, standing by her. He might have been hurt himself if her husband had caught him talking to Desiree. Now they had a special bond. She pushed the pictures from her mind.
Not bothered.

Just like you weren’t bothered seeing them together.

Yeah, exactly.

Jesse fixed himself some spaghetti, knowing Marti wouldn’t be home until well after nine o’clock. He thought he’d enjoy having the evening to himself, but long before nine, he was already bored and restless. He wandered down by the river, watching the moonlight ripple along the currents. His thoughts were far from the sound of the frogs singing in different pitches, far from the shadows of the trees as they swayed in the cool evening breeze.

He shook his head, remembering Marti stretching up to push the box of old clothes into the cavernous hole of the Goodwill box, eager to get rid of them. He had offered to pitch the box in, but she wanted to do it herself. So he’d wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her up. She had waved goodbye to the bags and boxes, giggling, but he’d been caught up in how small she felt in his arms. Inside that delicate body, his baby was growing, a reality that had overwhelmed him. He’d set her down slowly so he could savor the feelings that coursed through him.

Thinking back on it, he realized her laugh was different. So was her smile. Before, she only smiled tentatively, as if she was breaking some rule and someone might catch her. She put her hand in front of her mouth to hide it. The only time he’d really seen her smile was when she told him she was pregnant.
He
certainly hadn’t been smiling then.

Now she was smiling again, a new woman inside. When he’d asked her why she was so happy at giving the clothes away, she’d said she felt in control again. His heart chugged like a train racing down the tracks, then and now. For the first time, his wife made him feel something.

And she was leaving.

Headlights slashed across the oak trunks, and Bumpus raced toward the house barking. Jesse headed toward the commotion of Caty’s voice greeting the dog and the crinkling of bags.

At first, he didn’t see Marti, only Caty and a blonde. Bumpus recognized Marti before he did. Jesse stared at the woman who had left a straight-haired brunette several hours earlier.

Caty watched the two stare at each other for a moment, then asked, “Well, what do you think, big brother?”

He walked closer, touching her hair to make sure it wasn’t a wig. “You dyed your hair?”

Marti smiled. “Yep. This is sort of how my hair was before. Do you like it?”

“Well, ‘like’ wouldn’t be the word for it. Aw, I don’t know. I liked it well enough before. Why’d you change it?”

Marti tossed her hair and stalked toward the house. Caty gave him a sheepish grin.

He asked, “Well, what do
you
think about it? You were a party to the deed.”

Caty raised her arms. “Not me, no sirree. You think I could’ve told her otherwise? Nope. I didn’t like it at first, but I’m getting used to it. However, I don’t have to live with her, so you’d better march your butt in there and tell her you like it.”

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair. “I never tell a woman something I don’t mean. That policy has kept me out of trouble more times than it’s gotten me into it.”

Caty brushed a lock of hair from his face and said with a sigh, “You sure do have a lot to learn about women.”

CHAPTER 7

After he’d seen Caty off, Jesse wandered back inside and peered into Marti’s room. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at her reflection in the mirror over the dresser.

“Hey,” he said as a greeting, leaning against the doorframe. “I… I really like....” He glanced at the window and stepped inside to get a closer look. “I like what you’ve done with the sheets.” Now wasn’t the time to change his honesty policy.

Her dark expression lifted when she saw his genuine appraisal. “Do you? I had to do something with that window. It was giving me the creeps.”

He looked behind the curtains to see how she’d made the top angular and puffy. She’d cut the curtains at angles, making them drape in the middle.

“This looks like something out of a catalog from those custom sections.”

She beamed. “It’s amazing what you can do with a couple of wire hangers and a sewing kit. I poked so many holes in my fingers, I thought I’d leak when I drank something.”

He couldn’t help smiling at her. Her pride shone, and she was as adorable as a puppy the way she was looking for the pinpricks in her fingertips. White, pink, and blue bags of every size covered with the floor. Marti dropped back on the bed, stifling a yawn. He looked at her stomach, now rounded a tad. The reality of the baby hadn’t hit until he’d heard its heartbeat. It was a thundering realization that his baby, a real human being, lived inside her. He sat down on the bed next to her, imagining his hand splayed out over her midsection, his thumb nestled in the hollow between her breasts.

“You know,” she said dreamily. “I had some ideas about the curtains in the living room. Something masculine, but new and different. Would you let me redecorate a little?”

Only when she looked at him did he snap out of his trance. “Sure, do anything you like.”

“What about your room? It’s kind of dull in there. Can I...” She hesitated when he leaned closer. “Can I do something in there, too? It’s actually exciting, getting ideas about redecorating this place. Oh!” She sat up and started rifling through her bags. “I bought something for you.”

When she pulled out the swirly, multi-colored shirt and held it up, he could only stare at it.

“You bought that? For me?” He forced a smile.

Her grin soured. “You don’t like this either. Caty said it wasn’t your style, but I knew it would look great on you. Try it on.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. Give me a moment to absorb it.” Jesse stripped off his shirt and put on the new one. Her eyes were on him the whole time as he tossed his shirt on the floor and donned the new one. He leaned over and looked in the mirror. “I could get used to it.” He met her gaze in the mirror. “And your hair, too. You’re throwing at lot of new stuff at me at once. I’m too laid back to accept changes easily, and one of those changes is a whopper.”

“You’ve been great about that. If you can handle that one, the small ones should be easy.” She bit her bottom lip, letting her gaze travel over the shirt. “It looks absolutely excellent on you.”

He leaned close and tucked a blond curl behind her ear. “Thanks.” He gestured to the bags. “I can’t believe you thought about me while you were doing all the girly shopping stuff.”

“It’s hard not to think about you.” She looked away. “I mean, being with your sister and all, talking about the baby.”

“You talked about the baby?” Was she accepting her pregnant body?

“The doctor’s appointment and the heartbeat.”

“Marti, can I ask you for something?”

Several expressions crossed her face, none he could identify. “Sure.”

“I want to touch the baby. Through your stomach, I mean.”

She met his gaze and whatever she saw there had her swallowing loudly. She nodded.

He sat down beside her and placed his hand on the outside of her shirt. After a moment, she peeled back her shirt to expose her bare stomach. He pressed his hand against the skin, watching her reaction. Her face flushed pink. Not wanting to embarrass her, he pulled his hand away.

“Sometimes, when Abbie was pregnant with Turk and Clint, I felt the baby move. It was something special, to feel that little flutter. I want to feel my boy’s movements, knowing I made him.”

“This baby means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”

He nodded. “When I first heard I was going to be a father, I couldn’t accept it. Once I made a decision to live up to my responsibility, I realized what it all meant. Heck, I wasn’t sure what would happen between Marti and me once the baby was born, but I was going to give the family thing a try.” He laughed. “I’d do anything for this kid, and he’s not even born yet.”

“You’re going to spoil him rotten.”

Jesse’s smile faded. “I’m going to have to. I’m all he’s got.”

Marti tightened her lips. “Jesse, you promised you wouldn’t put the guilt trip on me.”

He stood. “I already told you how I feel about emotional attachments to women interfering with my racing. And you’ve told me you want to go back to California. I have no intention of trying to get you to stay after you’ve had the baby. We’re going to get along just fine on that score.”