Stranger in the Mirror [Shades of Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (18 page)

Carl’s fist tightened. “No, he didn’t. Damn kid’s got a rocket up his ass.” He looked up. “He’s reckless, but he doesn’t go around attacking women. People are starting to talk about him, wondering why Jesse keeps hounding him. You two don’t have a thing on him, do you?” She didn’t answer, and he nodded. “That’s what I figured. You know, he and Jesse have always had this feuding blood between them, and Jesse took your attack personally. Now he wants to pin it on his best enemy. You’re a smart girl. Can’t you see that?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. But your son was in the area at the time of my assault. And the scratch on my chest could have matched the kind Paul’s pendant might make. And isn’t it strange how the photos of that scratch are gone?”

Carl stood, jamming his newspaper beneath his arm. “Both your imaginations are running wild. The guy who did that to you is probably long gone, but if he isn’t, I’ll find him. Leave the investigating to the police.” Just as he was about to walk away, he turned around again. “Don’t forget that Jesse is a criminal himself. He doesn’t have a lot of right to be pointing fingers.”

After work that day, Marti drove by Harry’s Garage to ask Jesse if he wanted to go to the mall with her to shop for larger sized pants. Ugh. She was solidly in that awkward not pregnant-looking but heavy phase. Caty couldn’t go, and Marti hated to shop alone.

Marti had distanced herself a bit from Jesse since Christmas, for his own protection as well as hers. She noticed that he had done the same. Those moments under the tree on Christmas Eve still held her in a spell when she allowed herself to daydream about them. That kind of thing couldn’t happen again. Shopping should be safe enough.

When she pulled into the dirt parking lot, her heart sank. Desiree’s black Jeep sat out front. Marti chewed her lip. Well, she certainly wasn’t going to ask Jesse to go shopping for larger clothes when Desiree was there. Pride, yes. And a smidgeon of jealousy, if she were being honest. She backed out of the parking lot and headed for the mall.

It was nearly six when she returned home. Jesse’s truck was out front, and Bumpus was keeping watch from his usual vantage point in the bushes. With tail wagging, he stepped out to greet her.

Her instinct was to back away as he approached, mouth agape in what looked like a smile. She forced herself to stay put and smiled back. Did dogs recognize a smile?

“Hi, Bumpus.” She patted his head. “Do you like me?”

He tilted his head and whined.

“This is just silly.” With her one bag, she had no trouble opening the front door.

Jesse launched off the couch and, instead of any kind of greeting, boomed, “Where the hell have you been?”

She blinked, still paused in the doorway. “Shopping.”

She started to walk by him, but he grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him.

His green eyes flared. “I have been looking all over for you. Do you know what I thought? I thought he got you this time. I hunted down Paul and drove all over this damn town looking for cars pulled off the road.”

She groped for something to say in the face of his anger. “Your baby’s fine, Jesse.”

When she started to walk to her bedroom, he jerked her back, almost slamming her into his chest. His fingers held her chin.

“I wasn’t just worried about the baby. Did it ever occur to you that I might be worried about you?”

“I’m not sure who you really care about,” she said, and annoyingly enough, Desiree popped into her mind.

His voice softened in anger, but not in intensity. “I care about you
and
the baby, not you
because
of the baby. Don’t take off without telling me. I about went out of my mind tonight.”

She moved out of his grasp but remained in front of him. “I was going to ask you to come along, but you were busy.”

He appeared to wait for more explanation. “Busy? With what?”

“Actually, the question should be, with whom.”

He gave it some thought before the light dawned. “Don’t tell me you saw Desiree’s Jeep and took off.” He waited for her denial, which didn’t come. “You thought she was at the garage and went off without telling me?” His expression was one of disbelief.

“Thought she was there? She wasn’t?”

“No, her car was making clanking noises, and she dropped it off this afternoon so I could look at it first thing in the morning.”

He leaned against the back of the sofa, his arms crossed over his chest. She realized she’d admitted in so many words that she’d been jealous.

“I figured you were busy, whether she was there or not, so I left. That’s all. It was a stupid thing to do, and I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Marti, I can’t figure you out.”

“Don’t try.”

“You were jealous, weren’t you?”

She moved away, desperate to put some distance between them. “I was not jealous. I have no right to be jealous. I thought you were busy, that’s all.”

“Then why did you mention Desiree’s car? ‘With whom?’” he imitated in her haughty tone. “I’ll be darned.”

“Well, then I guess you’ll have to be darned, because I wasn’t jealous.” Damn him and his arrogant attitude. And her heated cheeks. “Why would I be jealous over a… convict?”

His amusement disappeared. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re a car thief, convicted even.”

“Who told you about that?”

So, it was true. Her admiration for him fell into a heap, where it felt much more comfortable. “Paul told me, that day at the gas station.”

Instead of getting defensive, he shrugged. “I was nineteen. Big deal.”

“
Big deal?
I’m living with a common criminal! You’re pointing at Paul, and you’ve probably got more of a police record than he does.”

Jesse’s expression became rigid. “You know why I do? Because Paul’s daddy got him off. I’ll bet Paul didn’t tell you he was the one driving the car, did he? The car was his aunt’s, up in Sarasota. He got pissed because we didn’t want to joyride it down to the Keys, so he ran away. Alan, Mark, and I got busted because we were the ones returning the car. Marti, I already stood before the judge on this one. You gonna try me again?”

Every ounce of fight drained from her. Before she could say anything resembling an apology, he scooped up his keys from the end table.

“I need some fresh air. See if you can keep yourself from wandering off while I’m gone.”

He didn’t quite slam the door, but she felt its firm impact all the same. She walked to her room and dropped down on the bed, feeling as small as a bug.

See, I let myself have a few interesting thoughts about Jesse, then I screw it up with my insecurity. By the time I have this baby, he’ll be glad to see me go
.

The quiet of the house lulled her into a light daydream before dropping her into the abyss of sleep. She didn’t remember dreaming about anything when the noise woke her. In the dark, her eyes adjusted to the familiar shadows of her closet and dresser. At first she listened for the sound of Jesse’s keys, of any sign that he was home. The house was still, except for the peeping of a frog outside her window. She let out a long, soft breath and started to let her eyes drift closed again.

A shadow moved. Her eyes flew open, wide and scanning.

A distinct shape evolved from the blankness in front of her, moving closer to her bed. Her lungs were frozen—she couldn’t scream, couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t Jesse, somehow she knew that. A dead weight pressed down on her.

Fingers slid around her throat. Her arms couldn’t move to push them away. Panic seized her. She was going to die, right here in her bed! The fingers tightened. Her breath came in jagged gasps. Then she could scream, and the terror frozen inside her let loose like a wail from beyond the grave. She blinked as she realized the lights were on, had been on. Her bedroom door flew open, and a rumpled Jesse barged in.

All she could do was breathe, finally, pulling in one deep breath after another.

He took a quick inventory of the room and her before visibly relaxing. “What happened?”

She found a laugh in a tiny place the fear had not filled. “You look as scared as I feel.”

“When I hear a blood-curdling scream like that, you better believe I’m scared. Are you all right?”

She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. The laugh was gone. “I had a nightmare. He was back.”

“He? The man who killed Marti?”

She nodded. “I saw him standing right there in the shadows. He started strangling me. I felt his fingers around my throat, and I couldn’t move.” She buried her face in her hands, afraid of the images she was dredging up.

The bed dipped when Jesse sat down beside her. “You want to sleep in my room? I mean, we’ve done it before.”

She looked around the room, weighing the sanity of that move. “No, I’ll be all right. I’m going to leave the light on, though.”

He ran his fingers through his wild waves of brown hair. “If you change your mind, don’t be afraid to slip in.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, good night then. Sweet dreams this time, okay?”

She smiled. “You better believe it.”

The man stepped out of the shadows again, standing just outside the glow of light from Marti’s window. That scream sounded like the one she’d uttered when he’d wrapped his fingers around her neck. Her eyes bulged with fear and then her scream became a gurgle. She’d forced him to do it, by resisting, by kicking him.

Now she was forcing him to linger in the shadows, wondering when her nightmares would show her that he was the one who had pinned her down. How long could he go on like this, a coward hiding in the dark, once again letting a woman rule his fate? If she and Jesse got the slightest bit closer to him, he would have to ensure her silence.

You weren’t a coward that day, now, were you? You took the situation in hand. You took action
.He felt a surge of power and confidence.

Except she didn’t die
.

The other voice, the snide, cruel one.

No, somehow she survived. But she wouldn’t be alive for much longer if she and Jesse didn’t drop their investigation. They were getting too damned close.

“The last time you wanted to talk to me like this, you told me Marti was pregnant. What’s bugging you, sweetheart?”

Jesse looked up at Desiree from where he was sprawled out on the ground with his head on her thighs. He’d taken the morning off to clear his head of the thoughts making him pretty much useless all morning. He wished he could toss his aggravations into the Chattaloo River, flowing only five feet from them, but he couldn’t. Desiree owed him a few hours of listening time, he figured. He was cashing in.

“Marti’s driving me crazy. She keeps throwing things at me to keep the distance between us. Last night, it was the fact that I stole a car when I was nineteen. Paul kindly supplied the information without telling her all the details.”

“Wait a minute. She wants to put distance between you and her? Is this the same girl who followed you around with goo-goo eyes a few months ago?”

“No. She’s completely different since the attack.” True enough. No need to tell anyone else the bizarre truth. “She’s leaving for California after the baby’s born.”

“Leaving? She’s the one who got pregnant!”

“With a little help from me, if you’ll remember.”

“Yes, but she manipulated you into making love with her that night and lied about being on the pill.”

“No matter. I was the idiot who gave in.”

Desiree shook her head. “So she’s dumping you with the baby?”

“It’s still my baby, no matter how it came to be mine. What else can I do?”

She smoothed some hair off his forehead. “You, Jesse, could do nothing else. You’re just built that way.” Her voice became soft, nostalgic. “Why couldn’t we have made it? We were so good together.”

He laughed. “We would have driven each other mad.”

She laughed. “Probably.” The humor wilted. “Are you afraid, Jesse?” she asked softly.

He shrugged; that question wasn’t easy to answer. “Most of the time I’m fine with it. There are those times, though where it scares the hell out of me.”

“You won’t have any trouble finding a woman to help.”

“I don’t want a wife. Women are nothing but trouble.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“There are plenty of women who would be glad to help you out, babysitting and stuff like that. Heck, I’d even do that, and I don’t do kids.”

“Yeah, but I want….” the words dropped away.

“Marti?” Desiree supplied.

“No. I don’t know.”

It seemed strange that he was the confused one, and Desiree was playing counselor. For so long, it was the other way around. She’d sneak away from her abusive husband, and they’d sit by the river, with her head on his lap, her tears dampening his jeans. The turnabout bothered him.

“You said she’s different. How?”

“Well, she used to be quiet, clingy, afraid to speak up, or do anything on her own. Now she’s feisty, hates living here, listens to dance music. Heck, she even threw out all her old clothes, bought new stuff, and dyed her hair blond.”

“And how do you feel about her now?”

“Fascinated,” his mouth blurted out without checking with his mind first. “I mean, because she’s so different. She laughs different, smiles different. She’s started redecorating the house, and she’s sweet the way she beams with pride. One time I caught her dancing in her room, swaying to the beat with her eyes closed.”

Desiree studied him, but he couldn’t identify the expression on her face.

“What?” he asked.

“Your eyes sparkle when you talk about her. I think you’re in love with her.”

He sat up. “I’m not in love with her.” Yeah, way to sound defensive. He softened his tone. “I’m fascinated with her. Heck, she’s carrying my baby; I should feel something. Sometimes it’s just plain irritation.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’m telling you, you’re in love with her, Jesse James West.”

Desiree’s observation sent him atilt. What was she seeing that made her think such an impossible thing?

He put a skeptical expression on his face and settled back on her thighs again. “Even
if
I felt that way, it wouldn’t matter. She’s leaving for California soon.”