Stronger with You (With You Trilogy) (43 page)

Chapter 31

Friday, 1st March 2013

I found myself staring at the screen above me, willing the train to be delayed. Trains were
always
delayed. The transport gods were laughing though and Jake’s train was on time just to spite me.

“It’ll be okay, little squirrel,” Jason reassured me as he guided me towards the carriage where Jake had reserved seats.

Jake was slumped over a table, resting his head on his arm. It looked sort of like he was asleep. My heart lifted a little.
If he’s asleep, maybe this won’t be so awkward.

Jason put our bag into the luggage area and I made for Jake. He was sat furthest in, at one of the window seats. It hardly seemed fair to make the guys sit close to each other, and they both had much longer legs than I did, so I slid into the chair opposite Jake as quietly as possible. Jason didn’t have quite the same forethought and plopped down next to me loudly, pressing a soft kiss to my lips as he linked his arm around my shoulder.

Jake looked up and narrowed his eyes as he saw the two of us.

“Hi,” I said quietly, focussing on the empty coffee cup in front of him.

“Hi,” he grunted, leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest whilst staring out of the window.

The train pulled out of the station and I closed my eyes, angst filling my stomach.
Is this how the next eighty minutes will be?
Ian had warned us that we needed to make up and I didn’t have any desire to piss him off.

“Jake,” I said quietly, squeezing Jason’s knee for strength. “We need to come to some sort of truce. I don’t want to piss Ian off.”

“Truce?” He frowned, looking away from the window to meet my gaze.

I nodded glumly. “I know you hate me, but maybe we could pretend for the weekend. Ian’ll kill us if we don’t.”

Jake studied me for a few seconds, his eyes moving rapidly before they settled on Jason. “Can you give us a few minutes?”

“I’m not leaving you alone with her,” Jason scoffed. “Whatever you have to say to her you can say in front of me.”

I cringed, not wanting to cause a scene on the train. I half expected Jake to start spewing all sorts of profanities and making threats but he didn’t.

“Please, Jason,” Jake said earnestly, catching me off guard. I wasn’t used to hearing Jake be so polite, and I definitely wasn’t expecting him to be polite to Jason. “I promise I’m not going to hurt her, I just want to talk and I’d really rather do it alone,” he reassured Jason.

Jason looked as though he was caught off guard by Jake’s unusual demeanour as well. He glanced uncertainly at me and I nodded that it was okay. Jake was acting the way he did right after he’d had an ass kicking from one of our big brothers and I wanted to know why.

“Fine, I’ll go get us something to drink, but I’ll be back soon,” he said pointedly, kissing me gently before leaving us.

I waited silently for Jake to say something, my eyes still on the empty cup.

“Come sit next to me,” he said after a while. It wasn’t an order, it was his way of asking. I did as he asked, my palms sweaty because I didn’t think I would like what he was about to say. I was sure I was about to get a lecture about what I’d cost him.

“Jelly…” he took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry.”

Sorry?
That’s definitely not what I was been expecting
. I glanced over at Jake in confusion and was horrified to see he was actually crying. My brothers didn’t cry. It was heart breaking to see and I threw my arms around him in response.

“Jake, I don’t understand,” I shook my head, feeling him relax a little and put his arms around me, returning my embrace.

“I’m so sorry, Jelly,” he repeated over and over again. “I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

“Jake, I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” I laughed, stroking his back gently. I was beyond confused. I didn’t like seeing Jake like this.

“How can you not know what I’m talking about?” He frowned in confusion, pulling away to look at me. When I didn’t say anything, but continued staring back at him with my expression of confusion, he continued. “Duff,” he said with a cringe.

A sick feeling washed over me
. I don’t want to talk about this
. I didn’t want to remember and I didn’t want to know how much I’d hurt Jake either.

“Please, don’t,” I shook my head insistently, pulling away from him and clutching my knees to my chest.

“Just listen, Jelly,” Jake insisted. “It was all my fault. I’ll never forgive myself. I’m so sorry, sis.”

Why would he think it was his fault?
My heart beat painfully in my chest as my mind ran circles on itself.

“I knew he liked you,” Jake started, clearing his throat. “He admitted it when we were in sixth form.”

“But he was always such an ass,” I said quietly, not understanding.

“
We
were asses,” he corrected, his voice pained as he continued. “I don’t think he knew how to change the pattern we’d gotten into, and honestly, I thought you liked him too.”

I felt my stomach clench. It had hurt last time I heard my brothers say that, and it hurt again just the same. I’d spent a few months nursing my wounds and they’d slowly started healing and now Jake was ripping them open again.

“I know I was wrong, Jelly, but you never fought back, you never tried to stop it,” he explained.

“Because there was no point, Jake. It always made it worse if I fought back,” I sighed. I wasn’t going to cry this time. I refused to cry any more tears over him.

“I know, Jelly,” he said, clenching his fists on the table in front of me. “I know that’s my fault as well.”

He took a deep breath and dropped his head to his hands. “Fuck,” he breathed. “I set the whole thing up for him. He even asked me to bring you when we went out. I put you at risk, Jelly.” His voice was raw and broken, his pain and frustration obvious.

“Jake, I-” I struggled for words, trying to take in what he’d said.

“And then he fucking played me. We still talked, even after… after what he did. He made it sound like the two of you were getting together and do you know what I did?” He said, louder now.

I shook my head, afraid to hear more.

“I fucking congratulated him. I was fucking happy for him,” Jake spat, tears burning down his face. “I fucked up, Jellybean.”

My wounds broke open a little more. I hated to see Jake hurting like this. I didn’t care what he said; it wasn’t his fault. I didn’t blame him. It killed me that he’d felt guilt this whole time and I’d thought he’d hated me.

“I don’t blame you, Jake,” I reassured him, letting my knees drop to the floor so I could hug him, whether he wanted it or not, he needed it. “It wasn’t your fault.”

I felt Jake shaking so I hugged him tighter. I saw Jason hovering with some takeaway cups at the end of the carriage. He caught my eye and turned around again, giving Jake and me a little more time.

“I’ve been so horrible to you, Jelly,” Jake shook his head. “I don’t deserve a sister like you.”

“Well you’ve got me,” I smiled. “So maybe you could stop feeling sorry for yourself and return this hug.”

He managed a chuckle and wrapped his arms around me, wiping his face on his hands.

“Your present was awesome,” he returned my smile. “Best I’ve ever gotten, thanks.”

“You liked it?” I beamed. “I wasn’t sure seeing as you threw up.” I raised my eyebrow at him and gave him my best disapproving face.

It made me smile that he laughed. “Yeah, well… there I was feeling all guilty and shit and thinking you hated me and you go and buy me a kick ass present.” He pressed his lips together and looked contrite.

“And that made you throw up?” I smirked.

“That and the thirteen shots,” he groaned.

I giggled and leant into him a little, needing him to know that we were okay. “Did you have a nice time, alcohol and shower aside?”

“Yeah it was good,” he nodded. “Thanks for getting me down. Sorry if you got an eyeful,” he grinned.

“I tried not to look,” I laughed. “Why’d you tell Sam and Sam not to talk to me?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Jelly?” He frowned.

I shook my head.

“None of my friends are ever coming near you again,” he said firmly.

“Jake, you know that’s ridiculous, right?”

“I’m not putting you at risk again, Jelly.”

“Coffee,” Jason announced, putting a tray of paper mugs down on the table in front of us. I smiled up at him, silently communicating that things were okay. He smiled back and relaxed, sinking down into the chair opposite me.

***

Craig pulled the twins’ car into the driveway and put the handbrake on through the ratchet, making the horrible clicking noise. The twins were relentless about
not
doing it so I figured Craig must have been annoyed with them.

“Before we go in,” Craig warned with a sigh. “Nobody’s really in a good mood.”

“Great,” Jake groaned. “This’ll be fun.”

Craig grunted in agreement and pushed the car door open. I followed them into the house, as enthusiastic as Jake about walking into a house full of grumpy Carters.

I took my shoes off and put them at the end of the rack next to Jake’s. Jason dumped our bag by the stairs and followed Craig into the kitchen.

“Hey, Jake,” Ian smiled, slapping him on the back. “Jellybean.” He gave me a tight hug then nodded his head at Jason. “Everyone’s downstairs.”

“Ian, a word,” Jason nodded his head towards the lounge, already turning in that direction.

“Jason, what are you-” I started.

“Don’t worry about it, little squirrel. I’ll be down in a sec,” he smiled, turning to brush his finger over my cheek.

I glanced nervously over at Ian who looked bemused but moved to follow Jason into the lounge. I had a good idea what Jason wanted to talk to Ian about and I didn’t think it was going to end well. I hoped I was wrong and Jason wasn’t about to give Ian an earful about the way they treated me.

“Come on, Jelly,” Craig said, taking my firmly and guiding me towards the cellar. I could see he was tense and I wondered just what had happened to put him in this mood.

Ian hadn’t seemed too stressed, but then he rarely did. He wasn’t playful though and that was a good sign that something had happened. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Matt and the twins sitting of the sofa. Matt looked thunderous, his eyes focussed on the television. The twins seemed to be doing their best to keep quiet but they smiled a little when they saw us. If Matt was in a bad move that would explain why Craig was on edge.

“Jakeypoo!” Rick smiled, giving Jake a one armed hug whilst Danny hugged me.

“Hi,” I smiled happily as I switched to hug the other twin.

“Where’s your surlier half?” Rick asked as he set me down on my feet again.

“Talking to Ian,” I said, worried about the two of them. I couldn’t hear any shouting yet so I figured they were both still okay.

The twins returned to their places on the sofa and Craig quickly took the place next to them. I narrowed my eyes at them because I knew they’d done it on purpose. They’d left me and Jake to sit with Matt.

I sighed as Jake took the other end of the sofa and left me sitting next to a grumpy Matt. He’d yet to acknowledge our arrival but I felt I owed him some sort of greeting.

“Hi, Matt,” I smiled, sitting cautiously next to him.

He nodded his head but didn’t otherwise acknowledge me so I sat quietly next to him and waited for Jason to show whilst we watched basketball.

“You two made up yet?” Ian asked, sneaking into the room like the ninja that he was and looking expectantly over at me and Jake.

I looked over at Jake and he smiled back, we both nodded at Ian.

“Good, you two are such fucking children,” he grinned, motioning for me to scoot closer to Jake so he could sit next to Matt. “He’s already acting like one, I don’t need you two adding to it.” He gestured to Matt who scowled in response. “Pull the stick out of your arse, bro,” Ian frowned at his reaction. “I’m sick of your shit.”

“They had no fucking right,” Matt snarled, glaring at the twins.

Who had no right to do what?

“No, they didn’t but they’ve faced the consequences and you need to get the fuck over it before I buy you some tampons,” Ian frowned.

I held my breath because if any of us had said that to Matt we’d be running for our lives about now.

Matt had a ridiculously short fuse but Ian didn’t put up with any crap from him. They very rarely fought because Karl usually handled Matt when he was in a mood like this, but he didn’t seem to be around.

“Fine,” Matt sighed. “But I want muffins.”

“Muffins?” Ian laughed.

I smiled because that was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth.

“Muffins,” Matt nodded, smirking slightly. “Jelly, go make me some of your muffins.”

“Seriously?” I smiled. “Which ones?”

“The blueberry ones. They’re fucking delicious.”

“Alright,” I agreed, happy that he liked my baking. I didn’t mind making them if it would cheer him up. Matt’s bad moods were dangerous for everyone else’s health.

“We’ll help,” Rick jumped up from the sofa a little too eagerly.

“Why does she need your help?” Craig asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Whisking,” Danny answered with a deadpan expression, nodding enthusiastically. “She’s only little, it takes a lot of muscle.”

“I’m not little,” I frowned, but nobody was listening.

“And licking the bowl clean. That’s a two man job,” Rick nodded, already trying to usher me up the stairs.

“Alright, spit it out, what did you do?” I grinned at them as they manhandled me into the kitchen.

“Us?” Danny laughed. “What makes you think we did anything wrong?”

“It was an accident,” Rick assured me.

“Sure it was,” I rolled my eyes, looking for blueberries in the freezer, safe in the knowledge that they couldn’t see me.

“It was mostly an accident,” Danny grinned.

“Are you going to tell me?” I demanded.

“We may or may not have opened his post,” Rick cringed.