Stronger with You (With You Trilogy) (47 page)

“You treat me exactly the same as the others,” I frowned. “I never felt like I got any special treatment.”

“He didn’t treat you the same,” Jason said, surprising me as he came into the room.

I frowned at Jason,
how would he know?
He’d only known me as an adult, he’d not known the little girl who’d gone out of her way to keep up with her big brothers. To run as fast as them, or follow any and all orders just like her brothers had done, to prove she could do anything they could.

“He did,” I countered. “We were all held to the same standards.”

“I tried,” Ian shook his head.

“Then why didn’t Jamie get taught martial arts like the rest of you?” Jason challenged. “Why is she the only one whose clothes you control? Why do you let your brothers fuck around with whoever they want but you go ape shit at Jamie for being in a committed relationship?”

“Because she could get hurt!” Ian yelled, slamming his coffee cup down on the island and smashing it into several pieces.

My jaw dropped and I mimicked a goldfish for a few seconds as I tried to figure out what to say to that.

“We should have taught you martial arts,” Ian admitted, already scooping up the broken pieces of ceramic off the surface of the island, his cool, controlled aura in place once more. “That was an oversight.”

“An oversight,” Jason scoffed. “If you’d taught her then-”

“I know,” Ian cut him off angrily. “Don’t you think I know how badly I fucked up there?” He dropped the pieces into the bin and came back to stand in front of me, taking my hands in his. “You were so tiny. You’ve always been tiny. When you got in a fight with Jake you’d always come and say sorry, like it was your fault. You’d always try really hard not to cry and tell me you’d do better next time.

It used to break my heart to see you so sad. You got the stupid idea in your head that you had to be as thick-skinned as the rest of us. I didn’t teach you because I didn’t want to see you getting hurt. I kidded myself that we’d always be there to protect you.”

“You usually were,” I said quietly, squeezing his hands. “You didn’t let me down, Ian.”

“We did,” he sighed. “But it’s cute that you can’t see it. I promise, Jelly, we’ll be better. We’ll be the brothers you deserve.”

I smiled from ear to ear and threw my arms around him. This was not the way I’d expected my day to start. This was huge. It killed me that Ian thought they’d let me down. They’d always been there for me, they’d given me everything they could. They’d given up parts of their lives for me and I could spend the rest of my life trying to convey just how grateful I was and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Ian let me go and set about putting bacon under the grill. The smell of that along with the fresh coffee brewing was starting to wake my brothers up and they came traipsing into the kitchen one by one.

“What the fuck!” We heard the yelling all the way from the kitchen and my brothers chuckled amongst themselves.

“I guess Matt woke up,” Karl grinned, helping himself to coffee.

“What did you do to him?” I asked curiously.

None of them answered but they were all grinning like Cheshire cats, which just made me more curious.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Matt scowled as he stormed into the kitchen looking rough as hell and clutching a towel around his waist.

“Like it?” Ian grinned.

“This is a step too far, E!” Matt yelled, getting right up in Ian’s face.

Ian just smirked and took a sip of his coffee.

“They wanted to get you a pink one but I talked them out of it,” Karl grinned, putting his hands on Matt’s shoulders and easing him away from an amused looking Ian.

“You think I give a shit what colour it is!” Matt yelled. “You pierced my fucking dick!”

I promptly spat out my tea all over the counter. Craig handed me some kitchen paper whilst Jason rubbed my back.
They did what?

“You can fucking stop laughing,” Matt warned, turning around to face Karl. “Your cocktail sausage is up next.”

Karl stopped laughing immediately and looked at Ian. “It’s not happening,” he warned.

“We’ll see, little bro,” Ian winked. “I was gonna see if Elise would prefer we did your nipples.”

“That’s not funny, E,” Karl frowned.

“Have your hissy fit later, Karl. I’m not fucking done talking about this!” Matt intervened.

I could see Craig, Jake, and the twins doing pathetic jobs of trying to disguise their laughter.
I can’t believe Ian did that to him
. Jason chuckled silently behind me, his arms around my waist.

“You’ll be thanking me when it heals,” Ian grinned.

“It fucking canes, you bastards,” Matt scowled, taking the seat next to me at the island.

Ian was still grinning broadly but handed Matt a glass of orange juice before taking the bacon out from under the grill. The twins helped him make bacon butties and Matt’s complaints were quieted for a few minutes whilst they all stuffed their faces.

“What are you gonna do if one of them already has the piercing?” Jason asked Ian as he made me a peanut butter sandwich.

“Nipples,” Ian shrugged. “Why, you know something I don’t?”

“Guys!” I protested. “I don’t particularly want to hear any of this. In my head, you’re all ken dolls and I’d rather keep it that way.”

“Fair enough,” Ian chuckled.

The reason Ian had let me go home early was now completely clear and I found myself even more grateful. I would not wanted to have witness any of what happened after I left.

When the guys had all finished stuffing their faces and Jake and Craig had done the dishes, Ian guided me by my shoulders into the lounge and the rest of the family followed. I recognised the quiet control in Ian’s stance as he stood in front of the fireplace, watching as we all filed in. The family-meeting vibe was familiar and my brothers also seemed to recognise what was happening.

“Jelly, come here,” Ian said, beckoning me over to him.

I reluctantly hopped up from Jason’s knee and stood in front of him anxiously. He reached over and took my hand, twisting it over to show the bruise on my forearm. I glanced guiltily over at Jason and saw him looking furious, his eyes focussed on my arm.

“This shit ends now,” Ian said firmly. “The next time I see a bruise on Jelly, the person who gave her it can fuck off and find somewhere else to live.”

“E, I was drunk-” Matt started to protest but Ian cut him off.

“There’s no excuse,” Ian dismissed him abruptly. “Jason’s right. This whole situation is wrong. I know I’m not innocent in this,” he admitted, shifting awkwardly behind me. “In fact, I’m fully aware that I probably started it,” he sighed. “But I’m also ending it. Am I understood?”

My brothers all nodded awkwardly.

“So what, Jelly just gets to do whatever the fuck she likes now?” Karl scowled, glaring at me with an intensity that made me want to run and hide.

“Don’t fucking act like that makes sense, Karl,” Jason intervened with a growl. “She’s an adult, she can do whatever she wants. If she does something you don’t like then you talk about it. Not that you need to worry. Jamie goes out of her way to be a good sister and none of you seem to appreciate it.”

“She can’t just do whatever the fuck she wants,” Karl retorted. “We fucking raised her, she owes us that much.”

“So if you have a daughter and she doesn’t put her toys away, are you going to beat her? Would you hit your own daughter?” Jason challenged, standing up to confront Karl.

Karl paled. He looked genuinely shocked and I could tell he hadn’t actually considered the possibility.

“It’s the same thing. You raised Jamie. You guys are the closest thing she has to parents,” Jason frowned, turning to face the others. “I get that it probably started out as sibling shit, but at some point you must have realised it was out of hand. She’s half your size!”

I stood by Ian awkwardly as I listened to Jason berate my brothers. I appreciated him sticking up for me, and I appreciated that Ian was listening and trying to change, but I hated the horrified looks on my brothers’ faces. I hated seeing them look so castigated.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more uncomfortable in my life.
I also felt so ungrateful for not saying anything to correct Jason. I wasn’t going to deny that I liked the idea of them not hurting me anymore, but it felt wrong somehow. I couldn’t explain it. I just kept thinking about what I’d cost them.

“All right, Reed,” Ian grunted. “You’ve made your point. Sit your ass down.”

Jason turned around and frowned at Ian a little longer before rolling his shoulders and sitting back down next to Craig.

“E?” Craig asked, frowning quizzically up at Ian. “What about sparring?”

Ian raised his eyebrow at Craig but didn’t respond.

“You gonna kick us out if she get’s bruised whilst training with us?”

“You’re not sparring with her,” Ian scowled. “Why the fuck would you?”

“I want him to,” I argued, turning round to face Ian. “He helped me loads when he was in Leeds.”

Ian turned to Craig and looked like he was about to murder him but I moved back in front of him again, more than a little worried that I was pushing him too much, too soon.

“Ian, you can’t stop me from learning to protect myself,” I said calmly, pushing gently on his chest. “I want to learn.”

“Then you can train with other beginners,” Ian scowled.

“Why would she do that when she’s got access to some of the country’s best martial arts experts?” Jason scowled.

“She’ll get hurt,” Ian retorted angrily, pushing my hands away from him

“The whole point of learning is to avoid that in the future, Ian,” I said quietly, putting my hand back on his chest and trying to get him to look at me instead of Jason. “I want to learn.”

“She’s not bad, Ian,” Craig added quietly. “Reed’s taught her well.”

Ian turned to glare at Jason but Jason met his gaze with equal venom. Eventually, Ian broke off his stare and ran his fingers down his face with a sigh.

“Fine,” he grumbled, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room.

“Ian,” I protested, trying to pull his fingers away from my arm. “Unless you want to make yourself homeless you need to let go,” I pouted. “I bruise really easily.”

“Shit,” he mumbled, sighing again as he released his grip. “It’s been all of ten minutes and I’m already fucking up. Come on.”

He headed down the stairs and I followed him into the gym.

“Ian, you know I don’t blame you, right?” I said gently, my eyes on the mats. “Not for anything.”

He nodded without meeting my eyes and guided me into the middle of the mats. I felt a bit ridiculous still in my PJs and wished he’d given me chance to change into something else but I didn’t protest. I could see Ian wasn’t in the mood for talking.

He pulled his t-shirt over his head and folded it neatly before putting it onto the workbench and joining me on the mats. My brothers and Jason were all ambling into the room in various stages of hangover, from the perfectly awake and chipper looking Craig, to Matt who looked like he was recovering from a run in with a steamroller.

Jason stood at the side of the mats watching, shaking his head at Craig when he tried to get him to spar. Matt slumped down onto the sofa, his hand firmly planted down his trousers. I didn’t want to see that so I drew my attention back to Ian.

“Show me what you’ve learnt then,” he said gruffly, guiding my hands up to a guard.

“Ian, I…” I started, not sure what he wanted me to do. All I’d learnt was a set of responses to actions. I’d learnt how to react to specific attacks. I didn’t know how to actually spar, at least not like the others did, but that looked like what he was expecting me to do.

“I can go through it with her, Ian?” Craig offered but Ian shook his head, his eyes still on me.

“It’s okay, Jelly,” Ian reassured me. “We’ll take it slow. I just want to see what you know.”

I nodded and took a deep breath, glancing over at Jason for strength. He smiled back at me, even though I could see he wasn’t too comfortable. I let Ian guide me through the actions. He was true to his word and took it slow, more intent on watching me than getting a sweat on.

As usual, he kept his face impassive and I couldn’t gauge his emotions or whether or not I was doing a good job. He told me off constantly, correcting my footing, or my posture, or just mocking my concentration face. He didn’t shout or get angry though, he just kept calm.

“You need to activate your core muscles,” Ian explained, pulling me back up from where he’d knocked me down. “But it could be worse.”

I smiled and took that as a compliment because it was as close as it got. He walked away from the mats and grabbed two bottles of water from the mini fridge, chucking one in my direction.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“We should teach you Krav Maga,” Ian nodded before turning away and heading out of the room.

I knew he’d been extra careful and appreciated his attempts to keep his promise to me. A big part of me wanted to believe that Ian meant that they wouldn’t hurt me any more, but I also knew that we were avoiding the bigger issue. Jason had told Ian what I’d been upset about on Friday night and Ian hadn’t brought it up. That just confirmed my suspicions.
They blame me, and rightly so.

Chapter 34

Saturday, 13th April 2013

I hung up the call and frowned down at my phone. That was the third time in so many weeks. The first two I’d chalked up to coincidence but now I wasn’t so sure.

“What’s up, Jellybaby?” Alex asked from his curled-up position on my bed.

“Nothing,” I shook my head. “Just keep getting crank calls.”

“The kind where they pretend to be selling kinky sex toys or the kind where some old perv breathes down the phone at you?” He grinned mischievously.

“What kind of phone calls are
you
getting?” I laughed. “Nothing that exciting I’m afraid. There’s no noise. Just silence.”

“Probably somebody’s grandma who keeps pocket dialling you or something,” he smiled. “Why don’t you just call back?”

“Number’s withheld,” I shrugged, slipping my phone back into my pocket and sitting down on the bed next to him. “Now,” I grinned, tugging at his leg as he curled up into a tighter ball. “How are we going to cheer you up?”