Sugar Springs (10 page)

Her anger took a turn south, too. “She admitted she’d come to town to seduce you. To hurt me.”

Stephanie had been five years older than Lee Ann, living in Nashville, and working to break into the country-music scene. The two sisters had been about as opposite as two people could get. Stephanie was tall, blonde, and more classically beautiful, while Lee Ann had girl-next-door good looks and charm. Stephanie also hadn’t been nearly as smart or popular as Lee Ann, from what he’d heard. She’d spent most of her high school years dating the football team instead of studying for exams. He’d always guessed he’d been played to get back at Lee Ann somehow, but he had never known for sure.

He should finish his apology and get out of there before he succumbed to the lost look now filling Lee Ann’s eyes. He’d never been able to turn away from that easily.

He didn’t want to tell her everything he’d found out from his foster parents that day—it didn’t matter to this conversation—but he had to explain his actions somehow. “I’d gotten upsetting news earlier in the day and I came looking for you.” He shrugged. “You were out on a photo assignment for the school paper, and I decided to wait. I needed to talk to you. Instead, I let her take advantage of my anger, drank the
lemonade she offered—spiked, of course—and completely shut down my mind.”

He shook his head. “I apologize, Lee Ann. I never meant to hurt you in any way, and certainly not like that.”

She held up a hand and her head tilted a fraction. “You had a bad day?” Her tone screamed incredulity. “This is your excuse? You had a bad day so you forgot how to say no to my sister?”

“Well...” Yeah, that sounded rough, but how else was he supposed to explain it? Plus, it was true. He’d just found out things that had impacted way more than that one day. “The details aren’t worth getting into, but...”

He could see that didn’t soothe her any more than his first attempt at an explanation did. Out of ideas of what else he could possibly tell her, he explained it with a shrug. “It was not one of my finer moments.”

A choked-off sound was her only reply.

When she said nothing else, he finally got his words going again, needing to finish and get out of there. “The fact is I wasn’t the right person for you anyway. You could do better.”

He glanced briefly at her flat stomach and imagined her swollen with another man’s child. Children. The thought made him sick, especially when he knew that in the end she hadn’t done better. She was still exactly where she’d been all those years ago, only now with children. Whoever the scumbag was that had gotten her pregnant, he clearly hadn’t been there for her, either.

With his explanation out, he pressed his lips together and waited. He’d run dry on anything else to say.

“Fine.” She didn’t make eye contact. “I understand. Really. I do.”

Only he got the feeling she didn’t.

“It wasn’t the first time Steph had gone after a guy I liked, anyway.”

He hadn’t realized that. He propped his hip against the desk and tried to look relaxed, hoping that would ease the stiffness from her shoulders as well.

“I knew I was worthless.” He lifted his hands, palms up. “But that was bad, even for me. I’m still not sure how I could have hurt the one person who truly cared for me.”

Or that he’d cared for.

“I’m sorry, Lee.” And he really was. He had been since the moment it had happened. “No one deserves to be treated the way I did you. I don’t expect forgiveness, but I do hope you can accept my apology.”

She stood, stiff to the point it looked painful. Finally, he saw just a bit of the fight slip out of her, and he began to breathe again.

“You never were as bad as you imagined.” Her voice edged back from glacier cold and began to soothe his raw heart. It wasn’t an acceptance of his apology, but it might be the best he was going to get.

With a twist to his mouth, he tipped his head back and let out a long sigh. It was possible he was imagining it, but an air filled the room that reminded him of so many of their conversations in the past. Just the two of them talking about nothing or everything. Just being.

“You always believed the best in me,” he said.

He heaved himself onto the desk until he straddled the corner, his feet dangling above the floor. Lee Ann no longer hugged the door, but she still stood several feet from him. Even though he hurt from what he’d learned about her, he found he wanted her closer. And that made no sense.

He’d arrived in town with the intention only to apologize, but every time during these past few days that he’d caught a glimpse of her or heard her light voice, his heart had twisted and he’d wanted more. Grasping the corner of the desk between his legs, he rested his weight on his arms and took in the hair spiking out in every direction and the bright orange toes. She’d deserved so much better. Still did.

“I think I got scared I would let you down,” he said quietly. “That you would eventually see the real me.”

Without seeming aware of it, she narrowed the distance between them until she stood only a foot away. He held his breath for fear she would realize she stood within touching distance. “I did see the real you. The day I found you trying to put a splint on that poor dog’s leg.”

He shifted his weight on one arm so that he leaned slightly toward her, and breathed in her fresh scent. She smelled like a flower garden. Lowering his lids, he pictured the afternoon she’d mentioned. He’d always loved animals and had come upon a dog that had tangled up with some other animal. The angry dog hadn’t worried him, but he’d feared being seen brought to tears because he couldn’t lessen the animal’s pain. Lee Ann had come upon him and never mentioned the fragile state he seemed to be in.

“I knew the moment I saw you risking a serious mauling from a very ticked-off and hurt dog that you were a good guy.”

She’d always thought the best of him. Too bad she’d been wrong. Maybe deep down she’d known, and that’s why she’d cheated.

He reached out and touched a finger to the back of her hand. He needed to know. Pressure built in his chest. “Who did you sleep with, Lee? And why didn’t he do the right thing and marry you?”

His words returned her from the past, and she not only jerked her hand out of his reach but stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. She focused on something on the other side of the room. “It’s not worth discussing.”

He studied her stiff posture. “Is he still around? In their lives?”

If he was, Cody feared he would break the guy’s nose for having once touched his girl.

“No.” She followed the short word with a quick shake of her head. “He left before they were born. They don’t even know who he is.”

Heat crept up his neck as anger threatened to resurface. This time not for the deceit but for the man who’d deserted her. It shouldn’t hurt this much.

She brought her gaze back to his, and he watched her chest rise with a deep breath. “I apologize, too. I...” She looked away. “I’m sorry, I can’t explain it. But I do apologize for any hurt I’ve caused.”

Not good enough, but he recognized it was all he would get. He probably didn’t deserve more anyway. Sliding off the desk, he stepped in front of her. She had her secrets, he had his. He could live with that.

Before she could get away, he wrapped his arms around her and held her stiff body close. She barely came to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For everything.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “And for what it’s worth, I did love you. As much as I possibly could.”

Lee Ann smoothed the tablecloth over her dining room table, positioned the fall-colored centerpiece in the middle, then stepped back and surveyed her work. It was perfect for Thanksgiving. She pulled her granny’s silverware from storage and began wiping it down. She’d had a customer unexpectedly cancel a photography appointment this afternoon. Since there were only two more days until she’d have a full house sitting around her table, she decided to make use of the time and begin preparations.

It was better than thinking about the fact she’d blatantly lied to Cody the day before, and that she knew she had to make it right.

He hadn’t come into the diner that morning, and though she wanted to believe that was because he’d simply decided to eat at home, she was also aware he’d been in each morning until today. He hadn’t come in because he was furious with her.

And it was only going to get worse.

She straightened in her seat and stretched out her spine until the joints popped. Tension had found a new home since
Cody had come back to town, and she’d done nothing but add to it.

Why she’d stood there yesterday and told the man she’d been pregnant when he’d left town was beyond her. Had she wanted to lash back and hurt him the way he’d hurt her? Or was she truly such a small person that she wanted to keep him from her girls’ lives?

Everything would be easier if he didn’t get involved, but how was that the right thing? And didn’t she pride herself on always doing the right thing?

She sighed. He may not have been her perfect idea of a father, but he clearly wasn’t completely worthless. If he was, he would have given up long ago instead of putting in the hard work necessary to make it through veterinary school. He also wouldn’t have sought her out simply to apologize for a hurt he’d caused more than a decade before. And she believed him when he’d said he hadn’t talked to Stephanie since the day they’d had sex. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but the moment the words had come out of his mouth, she knew them to be true.

Why she hadn’t actually considered that an option before, she didn’t know. But as she’d watched the shock cross Cody’s face when he’d learned of Steph’s death, she’d known a colossal mistake had been made. And she’d made it. She’d believed her sister.

Stephanie had lied and been vindictive toward her throughout her entire life, mostly because their father had left and his departure had been Lee Ann’s fault. According to Stephanie, everything had been perfect until he’d met Reba and then Lee Ann had come along. Of course Stephanie also hadn’t seemed to take into account the fact that her own mother had left her when she was only three. In the end, Stephanie had been left
living with a stepmother and half sister, no biological parents, and a whole lot of anger.

Why Lee Ann had thought Stephanie could change in the last days of her life and show a bit of compassion toward others she had no idea. Especially after she’d practically spit out the words that it was Cody who’d gotten her pregnant instead of continuing to tell lies about it being a country star who’d fathered the babies. She’d snarled at Lee Ann that if it hadn’t been for her having the boyfriend she’d had, Stephanie wouldn’t have ended up pregnant in the first place. Then they would have found the cancer in time instead of during the delivery.

Only thing Lee Ann could figure for why she’d believed Stephanie when she’d said Cody wanted nothing to do with the girls was that she’d wanted it to be true. She’d wanted to believe that Cody really didn’t want the kids. It made her life easier not to have to seek him out and reopen old wounds.

Because God, he’d hurt her.

She’d walked into the house that sunny afternoon, only one week before prom, knowing her world to be perfect. She was in love with the greatest guy she’d ever met, she had a full scholarship and plans to get away to college, and she would soon consummate her relationship with the man she planned to spend forever with.

Then, in one second, all that had changed. She’d stepped through the front door of her mother’s home, the same house she was living in now, and had seen Cody backing away from Stephanie, who lay on the couch—a couch that was
not
still in the house today. He’d been tucking himself back into his pants, and Stephanie had been chortling with laughter, her skirt up to her waist, and her panties on the floor.

Lee Ann had caught a glimpse of pink lace shoved below exposed breasts before she’d escaped up the stairs to her own room.

She still didn’t understand how he could have done that to her. What had he said? He’d gotten some bad news. Well, that was simply unacceptable. People got bad news every day. You didn’t get bad news, then trip and find yourself penis-first inside your girlfriend’s sister.

Irritation boiled in her. She knew she should forget about the past and move on, but he’d been the one to bring it up. She’d been perfectly content with it pushed to the recesses of her mind. But no, that wasn’t good enough for him. He wanted to “clear his conscience.”

So she’d kept her mouth shut about the lie she’d told.

It hadn’t been right, she knew, and she would correct it. Eventually. But yesterday, as he’d been explaining how he’d come to turn his back on her in the worst possible way, she’d been unable to find it in herself to do the right thing.

Her front screen door slammed with a thwack, and she leaned over to look out of the room and down the hall. She had to get that spring fixed.

“Hi Mom,” she called when she caught sight of the woman almost identical to her in size and weight. “Why are you coming in through the front?”

Her mother shrugged out of her peacock-blue coat and tossed it on the chair against the wall. Since she lived next door, she normally bopped from back door to back door between the houses.