Summerfield (10 page)

cheek and through my hair. "You feeling better now?"
"Much." I replied honestly.
"Good." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead again. I loved the
sweet gesture.
"I suggest you two separate." Ella called from the doorway of the
kitchen. "Darren's on his way back to the house."
Ben seemed reluctant to remove his arm from around me and stand up.
"Well, I better go get some chores done." He gave me one last kiss on
the forehead, his lips lingering over my skin for a moment. "I'll talk
to you later. Feel better." He whispered and started for the door.
"Hey, Ben?" He turned around with question in his eyes. "One last question."
"Yeah?"
I did my best to glare at his beautiful face. It wasn't as easy as
some may imagine. "Why did you suggest giving me the truck?"
Ben laughed. "Oh, that? That was for my own amusement. Bye Belle." He
darted for the door quickly, but I managed to get him in the back of
the head with a pillow before he quite made it out the door.
***
"So, what do you plan to do with your day off tomorrow?" Dad directed
his question towards Ben as we ate dinner that evening.
Ben shrugged, glancing at me from across the table. "Actually, I was
hoping it would be alright to take Belle into town. I'm hanging out
with a few friends and I thought Belle might like to meet them."
I could sense that Ben was beginning to trip over his words, so I
offered my help. "You know, since I don't really have anyone to hang
out with here."
Dad looked like he was debating his answer. "Do I know any of the boys
that will be there?"
Ben nodded. "Chad will be." This seemed to put Dad a bit at ease and I
guessed that he had liked meeting Chad. "And his girlfriend will be
there too, so it won't be just all guys there."
Dad was thoughtful for a moment, glancing between us. "Ben, are you
asking to take my daughter on a date?"
I nearly choked, as did Ben. Both of our faces were frozen, jaws
dropped, and Aunt Ella seemed a bit caught off guard too.
"Um...I, uh..." Ben mumbled incoherently.
Dad glanced at me. I had been drinking root beer when he had said that
and now I was practically choking on it. "It was a joke. Belle,
breathe."
I relaxed a tad, as did everyone else at the table. I swallowed the
root beer in my mouth with force. "Mm, right. Good one." I murmured
breathlessly.
Dad laughed. "Boy, you two should have seen your faces."
Ben and I glanced at each other, neither knowing what was to come.
Dad sighed happily after his laughter had settled. "Anyways, about
tomorrow, I don't see a problem, but you have to make sure to look
after my girl. If anything happens to her I'm holding you
responsible." Dad was dead serious.
Ben gulped a bit, seeming nervous. He had a right to be. "Don't
worry," Ben said clearly, his eyes flickering to mine for a
split-second. "I promise not to let anything happen to her. I'll be
with her the entire time."
Dad nodded. I was relieved, but I knew there was a good chance of Dad
saying yes. He trusted Ben and knew him very well. He knew that I was
in safe and capable hands with him. And I knew that too.
Chapter Eight
I sighed as I stared out at the star painted sky. The pure darkness
could have possibly been a bit frightening to me if I hadn't of done
it so often. It was nearly midnight already, Ben had left a few hours
ago to go back home, Dad was asleep, while Ella and Lance were in
the living room watching a movie, but Ella had actually fallen
asleep on Lance's shoulder through half of it.
I figured this was as good a time as any to start facing up to my
fears. What better place to do it than Mom's favorite spot. It was
simply a fence that she and Dad had put together when they first moved
onto the farm. It over looked a small hill that was beautiful during a
sunset. She would sit outside on the fence any evening she could just
to watch the sun set.
It had become one of my favorite places too. And my thinking spot,
just like it had been hers.
Everyone used to tell me that I was just like my mom, and I was in
some ways. We loved the warmth, but also the rain. We loved nature,
and natural life. We loved animals and cracking corny jokes. I had
always been very close to my mom. Closer to her than anyone in the
world. She understood me without ever trying too hard to. She was
there every time I needed her without ever pushing herself into my
life. I loved my mom more than anything.
I had the same almond brown hair and bright blue eyes. The same taste
for life and living. Her name was even my own middle name. Hope. The
name had fit her perfectly because she never gave up on it. We were
just the same. Ella had said that that's partly why Dad had such
a hard time after she died.
I knew Dad could hardly look at me after she did because I reminded
him so incredibly much of her. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw
glimpses of her. Her eyes, her hair, her smile.
The only words Dad ever uttered about it after Mom died was when he
told me that I was so beautiful because I looked just like her. And
Mom had been beautiful. She was never plastered with makeup and never
once fake in any way about her beauty. It was more her inner glow and
personality that made her who she was.
I felt my eyes begin to burn, flashbacks playing in my mind. My dad’s face when he told me that she wasn’t going to make it. That incredibly long night spent in the hospital after her accident, waiting to know anything of her condition and holding any hope she was going to make it. The last goodbye, holding her hand as she faded away,
and the funeral.
The tears were falling freely. I made no attempt to wipe them away
because I knew that more would just fall.
"Oh, God." I muttered, my hands gripping the most where I balanced
myself, refusing to let myself fall.
***
I slept until ten the next morning. That was about the latest I had
all summer. My eyes still stung from the night before and my throat
hurt worse than it had yesterday. I gulped, the motion burning.
I glanced at the picture of Mom and me on my bedside table, smiling a
little at the memories.
The memories were always the hardest part of saying goodbye.
I took a quick shower, taking my chance to let my stress fade for a
moment, if only for a second.
I was still trying to keep somewhat positive about the situation.
There was always the chance that I was wrong and that it was only the
flu or something else relatively unthreatening.
I dressed quickly, simply slipping on a pair of sweats and an over
sized t-shirt. I didn't bother applying eyeliner either, knowing that
my main reason for putting it on wouldn't be here until this evening.
I made my way, emotionless, to the kitchen. I was surprised to see a
variety of breakfast foods sitting on the table. Chocolate chip
pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. I expected to find myself in sudden hunger, but I had no appetite, which wasn’t surprising with how upset I’d gotten myself last night.
"Good morning?" I asked instead of greeted as I grabbed a cup from
behind Ella.
She smiled. "I'm just very bright and cheery."
"Warm and fuzzy." I winked at her, pouring some coffee into my cup.
"Belle, don't you think you should drink something a bit healthier
instead of coffee?"
I shrugged. "I’m tired. Had a horrible time trying to sleep."
She looked a bit questioning. "Something bothering you?"
I pursed my lips as I sat at the table and began piling some of the
food one my plate. "I'm meeting Ben's friends tonight." It wasn't a
total lie. I was meeting his friends, but that's not why I was upset
and needed calming.
I guess it could not be considered a lie at all. Let's just say that I
ignored her question and simply stated about meeting Ben's friends
instead. I was always pretty good about getting around the rules.
Ella smiled a bit. "Well, that should be nice."
I shrugged. "I hope."
She leaned forward and kissed my temple. "It'll be fine. Eat your breakfast."
She made her out of the room just as my cell began to ring. I sighed
as I went to answer it, finding the idea of talking to anyone at the moment unappealing.
"Hello?" I answered, my tone lazy and slightly tired.
"Hi, Belle?"
"Speaking." I replied, my voice curious.
"This is Dr. Harvance."
"Oh, hi. How have you been?"
"I've been good. I was calling about your test results."
I could feel my heart pounding at his words. I took a deep breathe,
anything to calm myself. "And?"
Dr. Harvance sighed. "I think you should come into my office so we can
talk about it, Belle."
I gulped, my breathe hitched in my throat and my head beginning to
spin. I gripped into the wall for support. "Well, why can't you just
tell me now?"
"I think it would be better in person. Will tomorrow work for you?"
"No." It did, but I refused to go. I wanted the answers now. I
deserved them now. "Please, just tell me. What are my results?"
"Belle, I-"
"Just tell me if I'm okay or not!" I yelled, my patience was thin
and I was having too much trouble getting air to my lungs to keep my
heart beating. I felt an attack coming on and vomit beginning to rise
in my throat that I had to swallow back.
"Belle, please, just come into my office."
My body began to tremble and I found it hard to hold the phone.
"Please." I begged, my voice was pleading. "Tell me. I deserve to know
if I'm the one sick, don't I?"
"Belle-"
"Damnit!" I cursed, hanging the phone up with force and anger rising
through my blood. My jaw clenched and my hands were shaking, the vomit
began rising in my throat and tears began spilling from my eyes. I
slid down the wall I had been using to keep myself steady, hugging my
knees as I broke into quiet sobs.
***
"Are you okay?" Ben asked as we drove through town. We were going to
an old teen like club called 'The Village'. I had been there a couple
of times when I was in middle school, but I had never been into
parties and things like that much, so I would usually bail with my
friends and go to the park.
I nodded, shaking the thoughts from my head. "Yeah, just a bit dazed."
He reached over and ran his hands through my hair. "You feel alright?"
I cringed at the question, knowing I couldn't possibly answer that
truthfully. "I'm fine." I glanced toward him, smiling at his concern
for me.
"You're not nervous are you?" He asked, his eyes flickering back to
me, a slight trace of amusement playing in his eyes.
I shook my head. Since this morning's call I had found it hard to be
concerned with anything else, but being with Ben gave me a chance to
calm down and focus on something else. It was what I needed. Maybe
being around Ben and other people my age I'll start to feel better.
He pulled into the parking lot of the familiar place. Instead of him
opening the door to get out, he leaned over and placed his hand over
mine. "You're positive you're okay?"
I couldn't help smiling, and I with him, I was okay. "Yes, I promise."
I leaned forward, my lips attaching to his. Right now, he was all I
needed.
I felt him smile against my lips before we parted. "You know what's so
great about tonight?"
"What?" I asked, stroking his cheek.
He grinned in pure pleasure. "We don't have to hide that we're dating
here. It's like the field...it's only you and I. We're free of having
to worry about your aunt or dad. We can just be a normal couple."
I smiled. I think that's exactly what I needed tonight. "Sounds
perfect." I murmured, capturing his lips once again.
After we pulled away we left the truck, lacing our fingers together as
we made our way to 'The Village'.
The place still looked about the same. It looked almost like a night
club, really. Just without the ability to drink. Which was slightly disappointing at the moment.
I held onto Ben's hand tightly, enjoying the slightly unknown feeling.