Surrendering (21 page)

When the girls and I got home, I was so exhausted that I put on my pajamas and fell into bed. I know my friends want to talk about what had happened earlier, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Kendall rolls in next to me and squeezes my arm.

“That boy is in love with you, RJ.”

“I hope so because I’m pretty in love with him too.”

“Good, that’s what I wanted to hear.”

Chapter 23

It’s Only You

Sunday morning we all sit around the kitchen drinking coffee and talking about last night. I think Charlie has a crush on Blake. She gave him her number and asked him to come to Atlanta when he had time. Abbi and Ella confirm that he’s not a man-whore like Nate and Cooper are. The conversation turns to me and the girls want to know what’s happening.

“Well, I’m sure you girls pretty much guessed that I forgave him. We’re having dinner tonight to talk and figure out our next step. I’m pretty crazy about him, but I don’t want to be naïve. There are some things we need to figure out.”

“What kind of things?” Questions Harper.

“Well, I have to get over the fact that he’s the lead singer in a band that has a following. We’ll have to plan our weeks out because of our different schedules. I need to try to forget that he has screwed more girls than I care to know about. And, I need to make sure he wants me too.”

“I think this weekend wholeheartedly proved he wants you. His apology couldn’t be more sincere and it sounds like you know he didn’t cheat on you. You need to back down and have some fun with this. Last night was intense; he laid himself down in front of at least four hundred people. He sang one of your favorite songs directly to you saying he needed you. I think you have your answer.” Kendall states.

“You’re right.” I smile brightly and decide to change the subject. “Who wants pancakes?”

The rest of the morning goes by quickly. We strip all the sheets and start the laundry. Since I was the host, I get to pick my area to clean and I choose the living room. The others spread out around to house. In less than an hour, all of us are done and my Atlanta friends start packing up. When I walked them to the car, we all say our goodbyes and agree to plan something for Thanksgiving break. I think my first official hosting duties of Girls’ Weekend was a success!

*****

I drive up to Declan’s at 5:30. He’s waiting on the front porch and rushes down to help me with my things. He sees I only have one small duffel bag and he frowns at me.

“Where’s the rest of your stuff?

“All I needed fit into this bag.”

“You can’t possibly have everything you need in that little bag.”

“Declan, it’s only one night.”

“Not if I can help it.”

When we get to the front door, he leans in and kisses me gently. “Thank you for coming tonight.” Then he leads me into his home.

I look around the room and realize this is not what I had expected at all. He doesn’t have a foyer, but the main room is open and airy. Unlike our house, it isn’t overly decorated. He has black leather couches that face a wall with a huge flat screen. Underneath the TV is a cabinet filled with several gaming systems. There are two end tables and one has a lamp on it. It’s masculine, but comfortable.

“Come on. I’ll give you the tour,” he laces his fingers with mine and takes me down the hall. There are two guest rooms with a bathroom between them. Only one bedroom has a bed and a dresser. The other is filled wall-to-wall with music paraphernalia. Two guitars are leaning against their stands and journals are stacked on the floor. There’s a computer system set up in the corner on a desk that is flanked by two bookshelves filled with albums, books, and picture frames. This room is a reflection of Declan’s personality. The reading, the music, the writing journals… all of this is a piece of him.

The last room in the back is the Master bedroom. It’s even bigger than my room. He has a king- size bed that sits against the main wall with windows on each side. A six-drawer chest with another flat screen TV on top sits opposite the bed. The only personal items in this room are three framed photos on his nightstand next to the bed. There is one thing that surprises me and that is his bedding. He has a shiny blue bedspread that resembles a duvet and sits two inches high off the bed; it looks almost feminine. Guys don’t usually mess with duvets, do they? I also notice the six pillows stacked against the headboard. I look at him and he winks at me. Then he points to the Master bath that’s through a small doorway. He drops my bag on the floor and leads me back to the kitchen.

I smell the unmistakable aroma of Italian. The kitchen is intimate with a small bar and a four person seating area in the corner. What catches my attention is the romantic set up on the bar with two perfectly placed settings and a huge bouquet of wild flowers in the middle.

I turn to Declan behind me and hands me a glass of red wine while he wraps his other hand around my middle.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving, what are you making?”

“Spaghetti, garlic bread, salad…”

“Oh my God, that’s my favorite!”

“I know.”

He starts fills our plates and motions for me to sit down. I open my mouth, but he quickly places his fingers on my lips to silence me.

“Raven, I want to talk first. I have this weight on my shoulders that I need to get off. When I’m done, you can ask any question you want. But for now, I want to explain what happened after the gala. Is that okay?”

I shake my head. I’m no longer feeling hungry, but since he made such and effort I start on the salad and wait for him to continue.

“The night I came over smashed, I had made plans earlier to meet with Cooper to go over some band stuff. We met up and had a few beers while we discussed things. Sami walked in and sat next to me with a folder in her hand. She pushed the pictures over to me and goaded me on about your relationship with the guys in them. I knew Robbie and your dad, but I was insanely jealous about Max and Finn. Cooper suggested I talk to you, but I proceeded to get drunk. I ignored Sami the rest of the night– I promise you. Every time she tried to talk to me I blew her off.”

I listen to him and know I believe him, but I can’t understand why he didn’t talk to me. Without me asking, he answers the question.

“I know it’s not a good excuse, but when I saw those printouts and how stunning you looked, I couldn’t take it. I became more possessive than I ever thought I could be. I’ve never had girlfriends before and I sure as shit never hung out with my sisters’ friends. So I couldn’t understand the relationship between Finn and Max. I felt like I’d been punched. Then I felt like a pussy for caring.”

He stops to sip his wine, “Let me back up to the night of the gala. When Ella sent me the text with your picture, I talked to the bar manager about cutting our set short and making up for it another time. I flew home and packed an overnight bag. I tried to find the closest shirt I could to match your dress.”

That explains why we matched! I sit back with my wine and wait for him to continue.

“I’ve never wanted a girlfriend. I wasn’t sure how to handle those feelings. When I was faced with those pictures, I flipped out. I jumped to the conclusion you were playing me. I didn’t stop to think and I didn’t want to look like a pussy. Even when I woke up hung-over as shit on Monday, I knew I had made a mistake. I was on my way to take a shower and come to your house when Sami rang the bell. I didn’t invite her in, I swear, but she followed me. Then you showed up and wouldn’t let me say a damn word. When you drove away, I kicked her out of my house.

“Then I got drunk again. When I showed up on Monday night to talk to you and found you gone, I felt so lost. I’ve never felt that lost in my whole life. Abbi talked me into taking a shower to sober up, but I knew I’d fucked up, possibly beyond repair. I’m so sorry, Raven. I need you to believe me when I say that I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.”

I see his sincerity and pain. Not everyone understands the life I’ve lived and the people I surround myself with. I should have told him about my family sooner.

I get up and walk around to him without a word. I take his face in my hands and kiss him slowly. He rubs his hands up and down my arms, but let’s me control the kiss.

I pull away so I can look into his eyes, “I’m back.”

I see the relief go through his body and the happiness is etched on his face.

“Thank fucking Christ. If you didn’t forgive me soon, I was going to turn into a bona fide stalker. I already had your school, dance, and yoga schedules, not to mention all your friends’ numbers. I wasn’t ready to give up on you.”

“Declan, shut up and kiss me before I think about all the crazy ass things you just said.”

He lifts me up and walks me to the other edge of the counter. He places his body between my legs. Before I know it, my shirt is un-tucked and his hands are running up my sides. He must feel my goose bumps because he grins against my mouth. As much as I want to continue, I break away.

“Um, don’t we need to clean up the kitchen?”

“Later,” he grunts.

“I think we’ll be busy later. I’d much rather get it out of the way now.”

“Raven, am I going too fast for you?”

“No, it’s just that I have a surprise for you.”

He raises his eyebrow and I see his lips twitch.

“I don’t have school tomorrow. So technically, I don’t have to leave your house until tomorrow night or Tuesday for class. So if we clean up the kitchen now, we don’t have to leave the bedroom for approximately thirty-eight hours…” He doesn’t let me finish.

“You convinced me. You load the dishwasher and I‘ll put away the leftovers. We can leave the pots soaking for a while.”

“You know spaghetti is also delicious the next day. We don’t have far to go for lunch.”

“I thought you said we were staying in bed?”

“Nourishment and liquids are mandatory. Otherwise, we don’t have to leave.”

He’s finishes way before I do and disappears down the hall. I hear some sort of music start up in the other room and then he’s right back in front of me. Without a word, he picks me up and carries me to his bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and hovers over me before diving at my mouth.

Before I can blink, we’re both tearing each other's clothes off. He lifts up to help me push his jeans and boxers down. I drink in his whole body, complete perfection. I lick my lips thinking about being with him. He catches on pretty quick and flips me on top. He adjusts so his hardness is pressed up against my (now drenched) panties. I inadvertently slide over him and he moans.

“Raven, as much as I want to, we are not having sex tonight.”

My body freezes, “Why not?”

He senses my self-doubt and cups my cheeks. “Because that isn’t why I invited you over. I want you more than anything, but I want to make it special for you. You deserve so much and I plan on proving to you how special you are.”

“What if I want to? What about my wants- or shit- my
needs.
”

He understands what I’m saying and immediately jackknifes up so we are skin to skin. He kisses me and cups my breast with his hands. Then he starts to grind his hips into mine. I know he can feel the moisture on his bare skin.

“Shit, you’re fucking soaked. I think that’s my cue.”

He pulls back and I start to protest until he rolls us over and tears my panties from my body. I start to giggle, but his tongue plunges back into my mouth. I feel one finger slip inside me followed by another. Once his thumb joins in on my clit, I can’t concentrate on the kiss anymore. I push away and reach for the pillows. He continues to finger me senseless and moves his lips down my body. I’m on the edge; he can tell what’s happening. Once he reaches where his fingers join my skin, he blows lightly on my clit and I’m falling. I scream his name into the room. He removes his fingers, but immediately replaces them with his tongue. Even through my ecstasy, I feel every lick and suck. I’m still reeling from my first orgasm as another one starts building. I try to hold back, but it’s coming fast.

“Declan, I can’t- you have to slow down.”

“No, Sparkle, look at me. Watch what I’m doing and come for me.”

I lift up on my elbows and watch him. He slows, but then starts licking from top to bottom, gently nipping on the flesh at my core. He lifts my leg over his shoulder so he’s coming at me in a different angle. I drop my head back and moan. His tongue is all the way in me and I try my best to watch him, but my vision is getting blurry. He thrusts his tongue in me at a slow pace, but every once in a while he stops and kisses me. He adds his fingers and my elbows can no longer hold me up and I fall back screaming his name over and over. I don’t realize he’s moved until he’s suddenly kissing me and I taste myself on him.

“That was amazing! You are amazing, so beautiful.”

“I should be telling you the same thing.”

I finally feel enough strength to lift myself up. I run my hand down his torso until I reach his full length. It jumps into my hand.

“Dec, how would you feel about trying something with me.”

He smiles widely; he knows where this is going. “What did you have in mind?”

He shifts his body so he is propped up on the mounds of pillows. I crawl on top of him and start to inch my way down his body. My eyes never leave his. I finally reach the point where my knees bend between his spread legs. I grab his cock in my hand and caress the liquid over his apa. He hisses.

“Well, you know I’m not as experienced as you’re used to, but I want to experiment. Just let me know if I do something wrong.”

“You don’t have to…”

He shuts up when I place a soft kiss at the head of his penis. I move my tongue tentatively over his tip while using my teeth to gently tug at the balls of the piercing. I stroke him and move down, trying to take him all the way in my mouth. I know I need to control my gag reflex so I open my throat to see how far I can go. When I feel him at the back of my throat, I run my fingers over his balls. He puts his hands in my hair massaging my scalp. I know he’s urging me to keep going.