Surrendering (23 page)

*****

The show is awesome. The bar is packed again and the energy from the crowd just encourages the guys. During the breaks, the band changes their soaked shirts and returns looking perfectly serene. Jimi and Abbi have gone into the crowd to dance, but I’ve stayed behind because I can see better from back here. We didn’t get the reserved table from last Saturday and I can’t see the band play when I’m in the crowd. Since I know Jay is somewhere around here, I want to watch every minute of Sayge’s performance. They’re playing with an edge tonight I’ve never seen. Each song has a new feel to it. Every once in a while, Declan finds me and winks. It’s not hard to find me with Gabe and Finn towering beside me. I feel his energy emanating to me.

When I’m sure the show is over, I say goodbye to everyone and head backstage. I’m sure Ella will come, but Abbi is pretty content with Jimi so she may stick back. I stop by the bathroom and as I’m washing my hands I hear a few girls behind me.

“If I get him alone, I’m going to give him the best blow job he’s ever had.”

“I heard he likes threesomes. Maybe we should offer that?”

“If Declan Collins wants a threesome, then that’s what he’ll get.”

I feel sick, these girls are disgusting. “I think he has a girlfriend. Didn’t he sing to her last weekend or something?”

They look at me like I have three heads, probably for so rudely interrupting their conversation. Blonde number one says, “You think Declan has a girlfriend? Well, he didn’t seem to remember her when he was fucking some bitch backstage before the show. One of the guys that works the equipment for the bar told me he was going at it against a wall with some skank. Not that I care about that.”

I laugh. First, someone saw us backstage and assumed we were fucking against the wall. Second, this girl is just pathetic. I’m done playing in the dirt with these bunnies.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Good luck girls.”

I walk out and head straight to the back room. When I get there, the whole room is in chaos. There are people everywhere and I see the band members in the corner with Jay. He’s laughing and toasting his beer in the air. All of them are smiling. I fix myself a drink and stand back to wait for them to finish. I see the two blondes from the bathroom come into the room and hone in on the back corner where the guys are. When the small powwow breaks up, Declan looks around, hopefully for me.

I put down my drink and start towards him. He sees me immediately and comes my way. Before he can brace himself, I jump into his arms and wrap my body around his. He stumbles slightly, but holds us up. I smile down at him and kiss him viciously. I feel ice on my back and look up to find Nate pouring ice down Declan’s back as well.

“What the fuck, Nate?” He shouts.

“Man, you’ve got a room full of people staring at you both. I wanted to cool you down before it got out of hand. Besides, if Finn and Gabe come back here, I don’t want to have to break up a fight.” He laughs as he backs away.

I laugh. He’s right; I always seem to forget there are other people around.

“Declan,” I whisper against his ear. “Take me home, now”

He pushes me slightly away and looks deeply into my eyes. His are two shades darker than normal, they’re almost the color of deep emerald and they’re filled with the same desire I have.

He doesn’t even set me down; he walks us right out the back door. I see the stupid girls from the bathroom staring with sick looks on their faces. I wave and laugh to myself. That was fun.

Declan presses me to his truck and keeps my legs wrapped around him. There are voices all around us, but we don’t stop. I have to pull away to breathe. My body is on fire and I know we have to get out of here soon. He must feel the same way because in less than a minute, we’re on the road headed to his house. My phone rings in my pocket and I remember that we didn’t tell anyone we were leaving.

“Hey, Ella, what’s up?”

“Did you just have sex in the parking lot?”

“No, we did NOT just have sex in the parking lot.” Declan chuckles beside me.

“I didn’t think so, but that’s the rumor. Nate said he had to pour ice on you two to get you apart.”

“Well, that part is true, but no sex- sorry. Please tell me you guys don’t believe those crazy bitches.”

“Nah, we know better, but I thought it would be fun to razz you a little bit. It’s not every day our little virgin is the topic of lewd gossip. I guess you’re gone for the night?”

“Yeah, sorry we didn’t say bye. Tell Finn I’ll call him tomorrow.”

Declan looks at me after I hang up. We’re almost to his place and my whole body is humming.

“Sex in the parking lot?”

“Apparently, I offended your admirers and they didn’t like your choice in girlfriends.”

“What admirers?”

“The blonde bunnies that were barely dressed and ready to jump you.”

“I didn’t see anyone in that room but you.” He takes my hand and starts kissing my fingertips.

“They were talking about offering a threesome to my hot ass boyfriend and I de-railed their plans.”

We drive up to his house and he grabs my bags from the back. Then he comes around the car to get me. He’s frowning by the time we get in the front door. He heads towards the bedroom without a word.

“Declan, what’s wrong?”

He drops my bag on the bed and crosses his arms before he looks at me. “What was that about back there?” The tone of his voice is angry.

“Pardon?” I whisper.

“When you attacked me after the show? What was that? Was that for me or for them? Were you jealous? Were you trying to make your point or…”

I don’t let him finish. “That was for you- for me- for us. The show was great. Jay looked happy; you looked happy. I was so excited and I got swept up in the moment. For those few minutes, it was just the two of us and I wanted you to know how happy and proud I was of you. To me, there was no one else in the room. I wasn’t jealous because I have nothing to be jealous of.”

His features soften and he pulls me in. “Raven, you will never have anything to be jealous of. To me, you really were the only girl in the room.” He kisses my temple lightly and runs his nose through my hair. “You smell so good. It reminds me of honeysuckle and peaches.”

I wrap my arms around him. I want him tonight and hopefully he’ll agree. As I push us towards the bed and he stops me.

“Let me take a quick shower.” He lets me go and heads toward the bathroom. I guess he didn’t get my hint.

When the shower turns on, I get my bag and run to the second bathroom. I don’t have much time. I quickly get ready for bed and change into my baby doll nightie. I rush back and light a few of the tea light candles I stashed in my bag. I turn off the main lights and a light glow covers the room. I hear him finishing up and wait by the bedroom door for him to come out.

He opens the door and I start to get nervous. Maybe this is a silly idea. I have no clue what I’m doing. When our eyes finally meet, I see approval. He makes it to me in a few short steps. He doesn’t say anything but kisses me until my body is overheated. Declan lays me down on the bed and lies partly on top of me. His hands roam over the beads on the fabric of my nightie. When he reaches my boy shorts, he groans in my mouth. He’s hard against my hip and I run my fingers over him trying to get inside his shorts. I want him to take me. I want to feel him in me.

I get his shorts halfway down and he rips them the rest of the way off. I trace the tattoos on his chest and I remember the night in my room when I felt his apa for the first time. Now I can’t wait to know why he got it.

He rolls me on top of him and lifts the nightie over my head, then rolls me back under him. He looks at me with pure, raw desire as he runs his hands up and down my sides. His fingers hook to the sides of my shorts and he brings them down my legs and off my body. I try to control my breathing as he gazes at my naked body.

“You are so beautiful.”

I pull his shoulders and try to lower him back down to me, but he stops me.

“Raven, we don’t have to do this. We can wait.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore. I want you.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“More sure than anything in my life. Please.” My eyes fill with tears because I fear he’ll say no and I sound pathetic.

“Baby, why are you crying?”

“Because I’m not sure you want me. I’m starting to get the feeling this isn’t what you want.”

“Oh, my beautiful girl, I’ve wanted you since the day I ran you over in the park. You have no idea how much I want you. I want everything from you emotionally and physically. I told you earlier, I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“And I told you the feeling was mutual.”

“I’m not sure you understand the depth of my feelings. I’ve never felt this way before and I’m scared shitless.”

“Would it scare you even more shitless if I told you I’m in love with you?”

A huge grin spreads across his face and his eyes light up with a twinkle. “No, babe, it wouldn’t scare me. If you told me you were in love with me, I would tell you the feeling is mutual and it’s about time you caught up.”

He lowered his head and took my mouth with tenderness. His fingers slide into me, one and then two. He moves his thumb over my clit. He whispers the words “fucking soaked” into my mouth, but I continue kissing him. I move my hips in rhythm with his fingers and feel myself getting close. I pull my mouth away from his to catch my breath.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to come.”

“I know, baby, let go.”

He adds another finger and I don’t hold out anymore. I scream his name as the orgasm washes over my entire body. I barely feel him move, but I hear his nightstand open and the sound of foil ripping. When I can finally see straight, I see him rolling a condom down his enormous shaft. I wonder again if he’s going to fit, but I push the thought away.

He gets back on top of me and I wrap my legs around his hips. He stalls against my entrance, the barbell teasing the sensitive flesh.

“Sparkle, I need you to look at me. I need to see your face.” His voice is tender. I look up and his green eyes pierce through me. The expression on his face mirrors the same way I feel.

He inches in and stops suddenly. “Baby, you are so tight. I’m so sorry, but this is going to hurt.”

It doesn’t hurt at first; it feels incredible. I tighten my legs around him and try to push him deeper. All at once, we move together and I feel him break through my barrier. I cry out and lift up biting his shoulder. He stops moving and braces himself over me. He starts to pull out, but I push deeper against him. The pain is still there, but the pleasure is stronger.

“Don’t you dare stop.”

He seems a little hesitant, but starts pushing back. He slides in and out of me gently. His apa is gliding against my walls and the sensations are incredible. He slows down and lowers his face back down to kiss me. His tongue is dancing with mine as my body accepts him. He pushes in deeper and I groan against his mouth. Every inch of him finally fills me. He moves in a rhythm that matches our kiss. He pulls back and stares into my eyes as he moves above me. I see desire mixed with passion. With every thrust, I get closer to going over the edge. He slows down again and pulls almost all the way out before he eases back in. I swivel my hips to meet his. A bead of sweat begins to fall down his cheek and I lift up to lick it off. He moans and in one swift movement, he’s sitting up and I’m straddling him. I don’t move for a minute and he allows me to adjust to the new position. There’s a burning feeling but it stops when I slide a little. I grind down on him and feel his entire length even more. His hands are on my hips and he’s pumping himself into me at a steady and tender pace. He takes one nipple back into his mouth and moves the tip of his thumb over my clit in a circular motion. I know I can’t last much longer. I squeeze my core muscles as tight as I can to try and hold on. I wrap my arms around his shoulders pulling his body closer. He has to let go of my nipple because I move my hand to his jaw and make him look into my eyes.

Before I can say anything, my second orgasm hits me full force. I throw my head back and call out his name over and over. I hear him calling mine as well. He pulls me tight against him as he empties himself into me. As he finishes, he whispers in my ear, “Fucking amazing.”

My breathing returns to normal and I move to lie down. He twitches under me and his arms prevent me from moving.

“Baby, give a man a minute.”

I can’t help but giggle.

“Are you laughing at me? You know I’m still inside you, right?”

“Sweetie, I’m not laughing at you; I’m trying to figure out why I waited so long.”

“Thank Christ you did.” We wait a minute and he finally moves slightly. I hold him tighter.

“Baby, I need to move. There’s nothing in the world I would rather do than stay like this, but I need to get rid if this condom. I’m leaking back down my dick.”

I loosen my arms and legs so he can get up. I fall back on the bed as he pulls out of me and regret it instantly; I feel so empty. I reach around for my shorts and slip them back on. By the time Declan comes back, I have pulled back the bed and started blowing out the candles. He pulls me straight to his chest and nuzzles his nose in my hair. I wrap my arms around him and breathe in what I have come to love as his scent. He picks me up and takes me back to the bed where he lays me down facing him.

“Baby, you okay?”

“Better than okay, why?”

“I saw blood on the condom. Did I hurt you?”

“No, I think that’s normal.”

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“I wouldn’t say you didn’t hurt me. There was a moment of tenderness, but it passed.”

“Declan, that was perfect. You were perfect.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but I swear I saw fireworks. Just like our first kiss, I felt the electricity flow through us when we came. That has never happened to me before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never come simultaneously before. With you, I couldn’t hold on. I could feel you getting tighter and my body let go with yours.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” I’m confused.