Surrogate and Wife (11 page)

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her toward him to stand between his legs. At first he merely nuzzled her breasts, licking lightly at her nipples. Testing her endurance. Unable to take any more of his teasing, she ran her fingers through his hair and urged his mouth to her.

As if he read her mind, he clamped his lips down on her nipple, sucking it fully into his mouth. Pleasure spiked through her so intense her knees nearly gave out. Clutching his shoulders, she leaned into him to keep her balance. Soon, even this intense pleasure wasn't enough for her. She wanted—no needed—to feel him inside of her. Needed him to ease the ache that pulsed between her legs.

But she wouldn't beg.

So instead, she took control.

Pushing against his shoulders, she urged him back onto the bed. After slipping out of her panties, she climbed on his lap.

For a moment she had to close her eyes against the pleasure of it. His erection straining against his pajama bottoms pressed into the folds of skin between her legs. The sensation brought momentary relief to her aching flesh. But it lasted only a heartbeat before her desperation redoubled.

She brought her mouth down to his. Into that kiss she poured all the need she wouldn't allow herself to voice. She didn't just want him. She wanted to drive him crazy. She wanted him as out of control as she felt. No, more out of control.

She moved her hands across his chest, reveling in the tensing of hard muscles and the pounding of his heart. But she didn't linger there. Instead she sought the waist
band of his pants. Sensing her intention, he raised his hips off the bed long enough to slip the pants down to his thighs.

She didn't give him a chance to do more than that, but immediately sank down to press against his bare skin.

His erection was hot, like the insistent pulsing between her legs. She didn't even try to resist the urge to rub herself against his length, arching her back and neck as she lost herself in the moment of pleasure.

Jake grabbed her hips, stilling her movement. “Wait,” he gasped. His voice was deep, his expression taut with desire.

“Too much?” she asked.

“Perfect. Just perfect,” he said, echoing her words. “But too perfect. I want to be inside you.” He started to roll out from under her. “I think I have a box of condoms somewhere in my—”

Planting her hands firmly on his shoulders, she held him in place. “No need. I'm already pregnant and we were both tested for everything before—” An uneasy stab of something like jealousy hit her square in the chest. “Unless, since then you've—”

“No. I haven't been with anyone else since then.”

She knew he hadn't been with anyone since they married, but four months had passed from when he had donated to when they had married. Anything could have happened in those four months.

She leaned over him, mere inches from his face, looking directly into his eyes. His gaze held not even a flicker of deception.

She wanted to believe him. Her gut and intuition—not to mention her years of experience looking into people's eyes to ascertain if they were lying—told her she could trust him.

But a lifetime of being cautious kept her from taking that leap.

She rolled off him to dig through the drawer of her nightstand and pull out a condom. As she tore it open, she met his gaze. Only the slightest hint of an emotion flickered through his eyes, but it was gone before she could even begin to guess how he felt. Holding up the condom, she asked, “Have I ruined the mood?”

Holding her breath, she waited for his answer. And for a second she thought he might not respond. But then he sat up.

Wrapping one arm around her waist, he pulled her to him and brought his mouth to hers.

The kiss was long and deep, like an intimate invasion of her very soul. When he drew back to meet her gaze, she saw no condemnation in his eyes.

“You're a smart woman, Katie. You're independent and strong and very passionate about what you believe in. That's what I admire most about you. So, no. You haven't ruined the mood. I wouldn't expect anything less.”

Seconds later, after easing the condom down his length, she lowered herself onto him. The sensation was so intense her head dropped back as she gasped out his name. She felt so completely filled by him.

When he brought his mouth to her breast, all thought fled her mind, including her plan to drive
him
wild. Instead she met him thrust for thrust, each one driving home what he'd said: that he admired her strength. Her passion. Her.

Then every molecule of her body tightened, only to expand a moment later in wave upon wave of pleasure. And in that moment, she'd known only the intense release of her orgasm. And that he'd been right there with her.

“Y
ou don't think I look too pregnant?”

As Jake pulled up to the stoplight on the way to the barbecue, he slanted a glance in Kate's direction. She was dressed in denim Capri pants—which he could only assume she'd bought as a concession to their discussion about jeans. Her pregnancy was hidden beneath an oversize white linen shirt, which she wore open over a bright red T-shirt, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Her hair fell in loose waves about her shoulders. Other than her pinched, nervous expression, she looked gorgeous.

It was all he could do not to turn the car around, take her home and spend all day making love to her. Man, oh, man, how he wanted to do that.

How could he want her again so soon? How could he want her at all, when she was so much the opposite of everything he normally wanted in a woman?

But he did want her. Desperately. This wasn't mere
sexual desire. This was something more. Something he'd never felt before.

He'd known it the instant he stared into her eyes and promised her he hadn't been with anyone else. In that moment he'd wanted her to believe him. To trust him.

And though he didn't blame her for not doing so, something inside him had broken when she'd reached for the condom.

The light changed and he accelerated again. “You look fine. You have nothing to be nervous about.”

“Right,” she muttered, her hands clenched around the bowl of salad she held in her lap. “Big work-related picnic. All your friends will be there. Nothing to worry about.”

Well, he kept wishing she'd show more vulnerability. He just never would have imagined it'd be over this. “Everyone's going to love you.”

She let loose a very un-Kate-like snort of disbelief. “I doubt that.”

“You met a couple of these people at the wedding and a lot of the guys when they came to help me move. They liked you fine then.”

“It's just that I—” she exhaled a puff of nervous breath “—I don't always make a good first impression.”

When he glanced in her direction, she was looking at him with a sort of desperate need for affirmation. He tried to inject his voice with the right amount of disbelief. “Really?”

She rushed on nervously, “Beth says she thinks I come off as cold and unemotional. She thinks it makes people nervous and that—” Her expression turned suspicious. “Were you being sarcastic?”

“No.”

Damn, he hoped she believed him. He hadn't meant
to sound sarcastic, but he remembered the first time they'd met, at Beth's and Stew's rehearsal dinner. She'd looked beautiful, but at the same time so coolly professional, so completely unemotional, he'd faked shivering for comic effect after they were introduced.

He never would have dreamed that beneath that icy competence lay such a sweet and endearing woman. Or such a passionate one.

“Don't worry. I'll be right there with you. You'll do fine. Just relax, be yourself, and have fun.”

Her frown eased slightly. “Are you sure we have to go?”

He couldn't help chuckling at the gleam of hope in her eyes. “It's just a barbecue. Nothing to be afraid of. The Andersons host this every year and I haven't missed one yet.”

“But you could go by yourself,” she suggested for about the hundredth time.

“Sure, I could,” he admitted, trying not to sound irked that she wasn't jazzed about spending the day with him. “But we agreed that would look strange, remember?”

“And I don't look too pregnant?” She waved aside his laughter with an impatient fluttering of her hands. “I know we have to start telling people soon. But I figure the fewer people who know I'm pregnant, the less confusing it'll be when we get divorced and Beth and Stew take the baby.” A pained expression crossed her face. “I guess this is going to be confusing no matter how I look. For now, I just don't want your friends to think I trapped you into marrying me by getting pregnant.”

“Well, I'm sure they won't. Mostly because it's not 1952. But also because you're gorgeous, smart and successful. If anything, they'll be wondering how I got
you
to marry
me
.”

She dismissed his flattery with a roll of her eyes. “Why is it people are always telling pregnant women
how beautiful they are? It's as if everyone's afraid our egos are so frail they might shatter under the weight of the pregnancy.”

He looked at her as he turned onto the Andersons' street.

He had no idea why other people thought pregnant women looked beautiful. For that matter, he had no idea if other pregnant women were beautiful. All he knew was that Kate seemed to be positively glowing.

Maybe it was that she'd finally caught up on her sleep. Or maybe it was that she was carrying
his
baby.

But he suspected it had everything to do with the mind-blowing release he'd found in her arms last night. And waking up this morning to find her warm and aroused, ready to make love again.

Whatever the reason, she looked more beautiful to him today than any woman ever had.

She might be worried about impressing his friends. But the only thing worrying him was impressing her.

 

Just relax? Yeah, that was working.

Kate clenched a soda can in her hand and smiled past gritted teeth at the circle of women surrounding her. At least a dozen women—all wives of the men Jake worked with—had cornered her on the back deck. They'd gotten the expected barrage of questions about her and Jake out of the way early, and she only hoped she'd fielded the interrogation sufficiently. Now they were chatting about everyday things—their kids, school taxes, favorite TV shows.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of these women. They all seemed so…happy. Which, frankly, was outside her normal realm of experience. She kept looking for signs of buried resentments and repressed anger but
saw none. These women seemed to love their husbands, adore their children and generally be content with their lives.

Kate was a good enough judge of character to know they weren't faking it. Which left her wondering how her view of the world had gotten so skewed. Had her years in the justice system made her so cynical about relationships? Goodness knows her childhood certainly hadn't helped matters, but surely she'd gotten over that by now. Hadn't she?

Her gaze automatically sought out Jake where he stood by the barbecue pit, drinking a beer and manning the hot dog rotation. She couldn't help remembering his words from the previous night. That he admired her strength and independence. Was it really possible that for the first time in her life, she found someone who didn't resent all the qualities she worked so hard to maintain?

Part of her wished he was here with her now, but maybe it was best he wasn't. The only thing worse than having him leave her at the mercies of all these women would be having him standing beside her, always touching her, distracting her to the point she hardly remembered her name, let alone all the details of their fake marriage.

What really drove her batty was not knowing if he kept touching her because he couldn't keep his hands off her or because he was just making sure all of his buddies bought into their marriage. Was his affectionate behavior today just another ruse to make the lie more convincing?

But every time he touched her, she practically trembled, remembering that morning and how wonderful it had felt to wake up in his arms.

Just when she thought she'd crunch her soda can in frustration, one of the women steered her away from the
group, saying loudly, “You look like you could use another hot dog.”

As they walked down the steps into the backyard, the woman leaned in closer and added, “Actually, you just looked like you could use a break.”

Not sure how to respond, Kate mumbled an “I don't know what you mean” and hoped that would suffice.

“Oh, come on. The girls can be great, but this has got to be a little overwhelming for you,” she babbled on good-naturedly without waiting for a response. “You've met probably fifty people or so. And everyone's so curious about you…Well, frankly, I'm surprised you haven't flipped out from the pressure. Just remembering the names alone would make me crazy. I bet you don't even remember my name.”

“Ah…I…” But what could Kate say? She didn't remember the other woman's name.

“Lisa. Lisa Anderson.”

“Ouch.” Kate winced. “Forgetting the name of the hostess? That is bad, isn't it?”

Lisa laughed as they reached the buffet table set up under the sprawling live oak. “Don't worry about it. Easy mistake to make when you're trying to remember dozens of names. I only had to remember one name. Which was simple enough to do, since you're the guest of honor.”

Kate stopped where she stood, but Lisa didn't notice and rambled on. “Let's see…there are plenty of hot dogs left. But if you want something else, I'd recommend the potato salad. Steer clear of that thing with noodles. I tried it earlier and it was nasty. Don't know who brought—” Just then Lisa turned and must have read Kate's alarm in her expression. “Oh dear, I've put my foot in it, haven't I? That's your dish with the noodles, isn't it?”

“No. I brought the salad.” Though, in retrospect,
opening the bag of mixed greens seemed a meager contribution in light of the myriad of homemade goodies on the table. But that was the least of her worries. “I just…I didn't realize I was the guest of honor.” To cover her discomfort, Kate grabbed a plate and spooned onto it a dollop of potato salad.

“Of course you are. We do this every time someone at the station gets married.”

“Oh.” No wonder Jake had been so insistent she come. “He said you did this barbecue thing every year.”

“He probably just didn't want you to be nervous. Come to think of it, though, with all the guys that have gotten married, I guess it does average out to be about once a year. You know, it's kind of funny that Jake still comes to these at all.”

“Why?”

Lisa forked some broccoli onto her own paper plate. “Well, he moved up to arson…what was that, two years ago now?” She didn't wait for Kate to answer, which was just as well, since Kate had no idea when Jake started working arson. “At the time, I told Bill he'd drift away from the station. New job, new friends. I figured he'd hang out with them on weekends.”

Kate could only murmur noncommittally. It hadn't occurred to her that “the guys” Jake was always referring to weren't the guys he worked with anymore.

“Now that you mention it—” she squirted a line of mustard onto the hot dog Lisa had handed her “—I think I've only met one of the guys from the arson department. Someone named Todd who came to the wedding.”

“And Todd—” Lisa held up a finger to emphasize her point “—used to work in the station. In fact, he's the one who recommended Jake move into arson once he'd
made lieutenant. But that's Jake for you. He has tons of ambition—look at how quickly he moved up through the ranks—but he'd never let that get in the way of his friendships.”

Kate could only nod in agreement. It had never occurred to her that Jake was relatively young for his position. Or that he'd made it to lieutenant before moving on to arson.

But she knew better than anyone how loyal and dependable he was. He'd do anything for a friend. Look what he'd done for her.

“Jake really is a good guy,” Lisa was saying. “Which is why Bill and I are glad Jake
finally
found someone.”

Boy, how could she respond to that without feeling like a fraud? Of course she'd felt like nothing but a fraud since she walked in the door. There was nothing she could say that would alleviate that.

“I…”

“Oh, I've embarrassed you,” Lisa said, placing a concerned hand on Kate's arm. “I hope I didn't offend you. I told you I can really put my foot in it.”

“No. Not at all,” Kate hastened to reassure her. “It's understandable since Jake's not exactly the marrying kind.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized her blunder and quickly added, “Before he met me, I mean.”

Lisa laughed. “Is that what he told you? Boy, men have selective memories, don't they? He was always talking about how he wanted to get married.”

Kate stilled, her hand poised over a tray of raw vegetables. “He was?”

“Well, sure. You know what Jake is like.”

Kate forced a bright smile and nodded. If she wasn't more careful, Lisa would realize that in fact she did not
know what Jake was like. And wouldn't that make for interesting station house gossip.

“Before you, he's always been drawn to women who were…” Lisa paused, obviously searching for a tactful end to her sentence.

Kate just held her breath, waiting. What kind of woman was Jake drawn to? “Women who are…” she prodded.

“Well—” Lisa made a funny face “—weak, I guess.”

“Weak?”

“Women who dated him just because he was a firefighter. There are women like that out there, ya know?”

Kate still wasn't sure she did. “You mean groupies?”

Lisa shrugged. “Sure, there are women like that. But worse than that are the ones who date firefighters because they feel like they need to be rescued.”

“Oh.”

“Jake's such a good guy, he's always been vulnerable to that kind of woman. I guess maybe all firefighters are to some extent. They love being heroes. Thankfully most of them grow out of it pretty quickly.”

“But not Jake?” Kate couldn't help asking, even though she was afraid she wouldn't like the answer.

Lisa smiled broadly. “Not until you.” She continued to ramble while she filled her plate with foods, blissfully unaware of the chaos her words had caused inside of Kate.

Not until you
.

By marrying her, Jake was rescuing her. As surely as if he'd rescued her from a burning building.