Surviving Him (19 page)

The front door beeps and in comes Katy, Mandy and Vicky, with several shopping bags, and so much alcohol you would think we are opening up a bar for the night. Rose jumps up, spins on her kickass boots to the front door to set the alarm for the night. She sets about locking all the bolts too. Mandy empties out her shopping bags on the kitchen counter. She runs from cupboard to cupboard, waving her arms around in frustration, trying to find what she needs to make her awesome curry. Eventually, she takes out pots, pans, and various utensils and gets to work.

Kayleigh, Amy, and Annie enter the kitchen with various bits of paint and glue on their hands and faces. They have been in the play room doing their art work and generally just being kids, doing what kids do best; not fearing what’s going to happen next. They have been through so much already in there short life. Nobody that young should have to suffer the shit they’ve seen happening around them. I’m so glad that I have people around me I can lean on sometimes, although I hate doing it. I have to be strong for Kayleigh and Amy. I must show them how to be strong too, but at the same time I want to keep things as normal as I can in this horrible situation. As if reading my thoughts, Rose tells the girls to go get cleaned up in the bathroom, ready for dinner. She takes hold of my hands in hers.

“They’re strong kids you got there, Dana. Don’t worry so much. Everything will come good in the end, I promise.”

Her eyes land on mine in a knowing, warm look and she smiles. “They’re a lot stronger than you think. They are like their mother.”

I eye her for a second, not knowing what to say, because I don’t feel very strong at all. In fact I feel like I’m about to break. Sensing this, she mutters, “Let’s get pissed and forget about all this shit.”

I return a smile and reply, “I like your way of thinking.”

I do. We need to let go of everything; all of our grief of our pasts, and try and look forward to our future, whatever path we end up on.

After eating the most amazing curry ever, I stand at the sink to wash up the mountain of dishes, while Rose dries and puts them away. Katy pours us all a drink, while Kayleigh, Amy and Annie have their bath and get ready for bed. Kayleigh shouts down the stairs that they are going to watch a movie and snuggle up in bed.

Rose and Annie often spend the night in our room with us. We all feel a hell of a lot safer this way, than at opposite sides of the building. After I finish the washing up, I go to our room to put the movie on and tuck in the girls. All three of them are in there onesies, snuggled up to one another, with teddies
and all. I
take my phone charger and head back to the kitchen, putting my phone on charge on the counter, and sit my ass down on the chair.

“That’s the girls settled in for the night.”

Rose walks over to the iPod that is sitting in its dock on the other side of the kitchen, and puts some music on. She takes a seat and raises her glass.

“Cheers ladies. Here’s to what’s in front of us.”

She knocks back a big gulp of her drink. Katy, Mandy, Vicky, and I all follow suit. We lift our glasses in the air to Rose, and to each other. We shout cheers, clinking our glasses together and burst out laughing.

I unplug my phone from the charger and we all move upstairs to the living room, taking the iPod, dock, and our drinks with us. Rose sets up just dance on the Wii and begins to copy the dance moves, waving her arms about, jumping up and down and shouting.

“Come and do this with me, it’s so much fun,” she giggles, turning her head to look at us. “Get your ass up here, girl.”

I do as I’m told and get my ass up there with her, dancing about like a maniac. Mandy, Katy, and Vicky all jump up behind me and join in. Just then the doorbell rings. We all stop dancing like complete maniacs and stare at each other, all of us thinking the exact same thing.

“Who in the fuck is that?” Katy says. Shock clear on her face.

“I wonder who that is. No one ever rings the doorbell,” Katy says.

“Let me go and check it out. Rose come with me, babe,” I half shout, begging Rose to come see who could be behind the door.

“At least that way there will be two of us to take on,” I told Rose’s fearless face.

The doorbell rings again and again. Whoever is on the other side is pretty relentless. Both me and Rose hit the top of the stairs, look at each other, and run down them. We reach the bottom, grab the baseball bats that we keep there at night, and slowly shuffle together toward the door.

“Shit, it could be anyone behind there.”

Rose looks at the screen above the locked staffroom door in the corridor.

“I can’t see who it is, but it definitely looks like a woman, chick,” Rose states.

I unlock all the different bolts, while Rose types in the combination for the alarm. I slowly open the door with one hand, and hold up the bat in the other. I breathe out a huge sigh of relief when I see it’s was Waff standing in front of me.

“How long does it take to answer the bloody door?”

She smiles up at me, and steps into the corridor out of the cold. I shut the door behind her.

“What the fuck are you doing here? You scared the shit out of us?”

“I can see that, sorry. I came to see how you’re all doing after you ran out on everyone this morning,” she tells me while holding her hand to my cheek.

“I didn’t run out on everyone, chick, I—”

She cuts me off. “Its okay, babe. I’ve just come to see you, not grill you about your relationship. What are you lot up to tonight?”

We are having an awesome girlie night in, and I invite her to join us, as I haven’t spent a lot of time with her in forever. Rose, Katy, Mandy, and Vicky seem to like Waff, so it should be cool with them.

We go back upstairs into the living room, where Katy, Mandy and Vicky sit in silence, waiting for our return. All of their faces look pale, and they are relieved when they see us coming back through the living room door.

“Oh my god. I was bloody shitting a brick wondering who the feck it was,” Katy says while holding a tennis racket in her hand.

“It’s only me. Sorry ladies, I didn’t mean to scare you. I did try and call Dana, but it went straight to answer phone.”

Waff waves her mobile phone in the air for all to see.

“I switched it off. I wanted some time out.”

I reach for my phone that is sitting on the arm of the sofa. “Better keep it switched on just in case.”

I turn it on, feeling really guilty and throw myself on the sofa. I knock back my drink and walk to the table for another one. I offer Waff a drink too.

“Hell yeah, I could use one.”

Rose resumes Just Dance on the Wii, waving her arms and wiggling her bum. Katy, Vicky, and Mandy pour themselves another drink. I sit on the sofa and curl my legs underneath me. Waff sits down next to me. She tells me all about her mum, dad and Lee, and what it was like living in London with her mum. She also explains how much she misses home, how much she worries about her big brother, and still worries about him, more so now she’s home.

“He’s a big pain in the ass. Every time my phone rings, I think it’s going to be the police telling me he’s been arrested, or worse he’s been found shot dead and stuffed in the back of someone’s car.” Waff breathes in and out like these thoughts are making her sick to the stomach.

“Hey honey, that will never happen. Lee’s a clever guy, he’s not about to let someone get to him like that.”

I feel really awful as I remember what Logan said to me the night before, about his brother being home from Afghanistan, and about Lee, and maybe some of his boys helping him sort my shit out. I take a large swig of my drink again. If I carry on like this, I will soon be plastered to the floor, drooling everywhere, and that would not be a good look. I keep this thought to myself. The music blasts in my eardrums, echoing around the room, and we dance all night, each of us escaping our own demons. We giggle and act like we have no worries at all, like a bunch of school girls; completely stress free. My phone starts vibrating in my hand, so I carry it and myself to the bathroom. Staggering, I unlock the screen and answer it. The voice I hear makes me smile a goofy smile.

“Hey you.”

“Hey, where did you disappear to, babe?”

I stumble the rest of the way into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I sit down on the edge of the bath.

“Logan, I…” I start to speak, but I’m kind of stuck at what to say and a bit tipsy.

“What did I do, babe?” he asks in that husky beautiful voice.

I look down at my slippers and then I tell him, “You haven’t done anything wrong. You are a gorgeous, amazingly fit guy, who I love to pieces. I’m sorry, but I can’t put you through this shit anymore, it’s not right. Let’s face it, all I have ever brought to our relationship is a shit load of grief.”

I slur into the phone, and try to balance myself on the edge of the bath. I fail miserably.

I fall backwards, sliding ass first into the bath. I burst out laughing and drop the phone, while I try to pull myself back up again.

I scoop up my phone from the bath while hanging on to the edge of the sink.

“Oops, sorry,” I giggle. I must sound like a complete idiot on the phone. I think I hear him laughing at me.

“Dana, how much have you had to drink, baby? My brother’s on his way.”

I hiccup. “Well a few, but not nearly enough. We are having a girlie, stress free night and Waff’s here too. Your brother, he’s coming down?” My words are slurry.

By this point I am desperate to go to the toilet. I just can’t stop giggling.

“Call you back you sexy man, need a pee. I’m bursting.”

I kill the call and go about my business.

I hear a funny noise coming from outside the window in the back.

Fox I thought. The window is open slightly, so I stand on the edge of the bath and peer through it, looking down into the darkness towards the back of the house, when it sounds again.

“Fuck,” I whisper and nearly lose my footing.

I jump down and slowly pull the window ajar. I search through my contacts and call Rose. Yes, I call Rose who is only a few rooms away.

“Rose, I’m in the bathroom. I heard a noise outside in the back garden. I thought it was a fox at first, must be a bloody big fox though. I think someone’s out there. I’m too scared to unlock the bathroom door, chick.”

“Fuck,” Rose hisses at the other end.

“Turn the music off, I will have to brave it. I’ll be back in a minute.”

I start sobering up.

“Will do. Please hurry up, Dana.”

I end the call, wash my hands and go to the bathroom door. Closing my eyes tight, I suck in a deep breath.

My heart is racing at a million miles an hour. I open my eyes and stare at the door handle for a few minutes. I reach my hand out and slowly unlock the door. As it clicks open I bolt, and run to the living room door, breathing hard out of my mind with fear. As I enter the room we all hear a loud bang.

“Fucking hell. What was that?” Katy and Rose say at the same time.

“We need to get the kids. I don’t want to scare them, but we need to get them in here with us now.”

Waff is on her phone now, waving her arms around whispering, “Answer the goddamn fucking phone, Lee.”

Rose and I go to the living room door, pull it open slowly, and look out into the dark hallway.

“Let’s go,” I whisper.

We both move into the hallway, tiptoeing at first, then starting to walk fast, and breathing hard as the panic hits us. When we hear another bang like the downstairs window is being forced open, it is louder this time. Both Rose and I look at each other, absolutely terrified, and we run as fast as we can to the bedroom door.

Inside, Kayleigh, Amy and Annie are cuddled into one another. The TV screen is blue; the movie has finished, and it’s the only light in the room.

I scoop Amy up in my arms along with the bed covers and wake Kayleigh up.

“Come on girls. Sleepover in the living room tonight with all the big girls.”

Rose takes Annie into her arms.

“Grab the pillows, Kayleigh.”

That’s when we hear a loud creaking sound.

“Oh my god, lets go.”

“What was that?” Kayleigh screeches while searching for her phone. She grabbed it and the pillows.

“Mum, what’s going on?”

“Let’s go, baby.”

Her worried face makes her look so much older than her ten years. It breaks my heart. Kayleigh opens the door, and we all run back to the living room together. I put Kayleigh and Amy on the sofa and put the covers around them, as does Rose with Annie.

Rose, Katy, Vicky, Mandy, Waff, and I pull the other sofa across the room, and a heavy wooden set of drawers. We push them in front of the door and barricade ourselves in.

“Did you get hold of Lee? I better call Logan,” I say while scanning through the contacts on my phone to find Logan’s number. As I do, we hear footsteps from the other side of the building. I stare at everyone in the room.

Everyone is frozen to the spot, then it turns silent.

“Shit, the alarm. I forgot to reset it,” Rose whispers to us.

If the alarm is triggered by an intruder, it sends a signal straight to the nearest police station.