Survivor (The Soul Mates Series Book 1) (11 page)

I knew with a certainty though, like taking the next breath or watching the sun rise, that I had every intention of keeping her in one piece because the only time I wanted to see her fall apart again was underneath me, or on top of me, or on her knees in front of me.  I wasn’t fussy and I wasn’t going to wait much longer for her to get on board, this girl was mine.

Later that night we both climbed into my bed, I did my best to make her feel like she belonged in it with me and for some reason her nervousness became uncertainty.  I was fairly sure she wanted to be this close to me, but I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t sure.  As she rolled over, away from me, I reached over and dragged her back up against me.  “Can’t make sure you’re safe if you’re all the way over there,” I whispered to the back her head.  “You OK beautiful?”

“Definitely.  Better than OK,” she replied and I heard the smile in her voice.  “Ross, I need you to know I’m not experienced like you.”

“I think I’ve figured out you’re not a commando Cara.”

“I meant, this.  The boy girl thing. I’ve had two sexual partners in my life.  One is you and the other is a guy from back home, who shouldn’t have touched me.  He disappeared three days before I ran off, because I was promised to someone else and I wanted to lose my virginity on my terms.  I couldn’t handle being responsible for someone else facing judgment because of a decision I took.  I… I just wanted you to know.”

I didn’t answer her, I couldn’t wrap my head around it, this sexy, fucking stunning woman in my bed was nearly new.

There was no way I was letting it go now.

Not a fuckin’ chance.

So I snuggled up close and fell asleep grinning like a Cheshire cat.

The first thing I noticed the next morning when I woke up was that I did feel lighter in my own head, like the burden had been lessened.  I wasn’t alone like I had been, wandering from one ugly thought to the next.  For once I had some good things to focus on and think about, I had the love and friendship I was receiving and that meant I could allow pleasant memories to surface and come forward.  I no longer had to zoom in on all the bad stuff and use it as motivation to keep me moving forward.  It was almost like the light of goodness was helping push back the darkness that I’d been stumbling through.

The next thing I noticed was that Ross wasn’t in bed.  I could hear water running, so I knew he was taking a shower.  Looking at the empty space in the bed next to me I can still see the imprint of his massive body and like some crazy romantic, I tentatively reach out and run my hand over it.  It’s still warm and I feel like it’s drawing me in.  I’d gone to bed in one of his t-shirts, one that I planned on never returning and I could smell his scent all around me.  Knowing that it was also on the bed sheets was enough to make me tingle.  I’d been brave enough under the cover of darkness to admit my sexual inexperience and I wanted to believe that I’d felt his joy, acceptance and respect when I’d said it.  How could that be possible?  Surely guys want some athletic bedroom goddess who can acrobatically bend themselves like pretzels and drive them insane.

I knew there was only one way to find out, he told me it was up to me and if I wanted to move things on then I just needed to let him know. 

When Sam returned last night, he’d made the assumption that we were already together, like it was a done deal and Ross did nothing to dispel him on that notion.

I stepped out of the sheets and stood up stretching, I knew I was delaying because of my nerves.

Now or never.

Game time.

And with only one thing on my mind, I wandered to the window to check whether Sam was already outside in the junkyard.  Feeling both pleased and on edge that he was already under the hood of an old tractor, I knew there was nothing stopping me from proceeding, nothing except me.

I willed my hand to stop shaking as I reached for the old rounded knob on the bathroom door and was greeted with a wall of steam.  This time Ross was actually making use of the shower drape.  I could see his outline through the milky patterned plastic and I was busy trying to drum up some courage, willing myself to be brave enough to drag the drape aside and climb in.  Whilst I was in my reverie the drape snapped back and Ross burst out laughing. “Seems like I’ve caught you day dreamin’ again.”

“Uh…” I began, my cheeks flushing with color, not entirely sure that I wasn’t going to collapse from the surprise he’d just given me.

“You got a thing about me in showers babe?”

“Uh…” I still couldn’t get any words out and when he looked down at my hands, I followed his gaze.  I was fidgeting with the t-shirt and in danger of letting cold feet get the better of me.

“Don’t be afraid, I heard all that you said last night, includin’ the things you didn’t have to say.  I’ll be gentle.  We’ll always take this at your pace, OK?”  He reached out a hand to me, indicating he was happy for me to join him.

My body reacted on instinct as I placed my palm in his and climbed over the side of the tub.  Water was rushing down his body and it did nothing but heighten the magnificence of all that was him.  His hair was sopping wet and water seemed to be dropping from it, hitting his cheek bones until it ran and collected in the corner of his lips.  Ross was like a magnet I couldn’t resist and my fingers gently played with the water running around his luscious mouth.  After a little bit I began to feel more comfortable and as if he could sense it, he licked my fingers with his tongue, encouraging me to move closer.

I desperately wanted to take in the rest of him, but I was satisfied, in that moment to explore his face.  I could hear my fingers bristle through his beard as I worked around his mouth, I followed the pattern of his neck tattoos with my thumbs and I could feel him hum and swallow in appreciation.  The rushing blood through his neck vein made me feel more alive than I’d ever felt before.

Again I carried on moving my hands, examining with all of my senses, taking in the pure brilliance that his skin was a canvas that came alive on some primeval level.  I could feel his eyes on my face, taking me in, whilst I was content to feel my way around him.  I didn’t notice that my hair was slowly becoming plastered to my head, or that the water was making it harder to focus when it dripped into my eyes.  I also completely forgot that I was still wearing a t-shirt until I heard, “Cara, are you nervous because of what we’re going to do?  Don’t be,” he said, not giving me time to answer.  “Because it is definitely going to happen, we are going to do it.” His words made me shiver in excitement.  “Can I remove my T?  It’s sexy as fuck seein’ it stick to your beautiful tits but I’d rather have my skin on yours.”

I nodded and raised my arms indicating he should take control, lead me where we were going, as he dragged it up and over my head.  I looked down in embarrassment, barely concealing the urgent need to cover myself with my arms and because he knew me as well as I did at this point, he grabbed my arms to stop me.  “You’re beautiful.  Never hide from me.  Have you finished explorin’ me or do you want to continue?”

God, I desperately wanted to continue, so I did.  I traced the swirly pattern on his shoulder and his pectoral muscle until it hit his nipple.  Spinning my finger round and round his sensitive bud made his breathing quicken slightly.  I loved the effect I was having on him.

“You don’t need to do this or anythin’ else you don’t want to.”

“No.  I want to.  I want to be able to remember everything about you.  I want to be able to close my eyes and see my finger tracing your skin.”

“Fuck me,” he mumbled, understanding that this was important.

I carried on my descent down his body and began to pay attention to his form.  The muscles in his abs and waist felt solid and unbreakable, he was like a machine.  As soon as I wandered lower to the V area, leading down from his hips, I saw his erection stand taller.  The promise and tease of it was giving me untold confidence.  I’d never been openly desired, guys either didn’t dare look or if they did risk it, they were sealing their own fate.  The best outcome for them was unemployment and a life of poverty, but the unlucky ones disappeared another way.

“I know you’re unversed in all this shit Cara.  I want to show you, I want you to grow into who you are meant to be with me.  Become your true self.  Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”  My answer was given instantly and with complete certainty.  This man had more than earned every ounce of trust I had for him.

“Good.   Get on your knees baby.”  I gasped in shock at his request, my understanding of sex was breeding fulfillment only.  Any acts for pleasure were not something anyone had ever spoken of in my company.  “I promise I won’t hurt you.”  Ross took my hesitance as lack of willingness.  It wasn’t that, I was just giving my head chance to commit it all to memory and then catch up with my thumping heart.

I dropped down, kneeling in front of him, feeling apprehensive that I’d screw up and get something wrong.  The pressure of wanting to be good and not disappoint was a lot to bear.  Ross stepped closer to me with his dick firmly in his grasp.  The color was indescribable, it looked angry and painful.  The hold he had on himself looked like he was restraining himself or attempting to cut off the blood supply to it.  “Follow your instincts baby, just keep your teeth behind your gums otherwise the screamin’ I’ll be doing will be the wrong kind and that’s not how I see this endin’.”

I understood what he wanted from me as his hand slid up and down himself, teasing me, whilst the other started to move the wet hair back off my face and tuck it behind my ears where possible.  “That’s better, half the fuckin’ turn on with this Cara is the visual.   Watchin’ you do it.  Knowin’ you have all the control even though you’re the one on your knees.”

This was it, I was really going to do this. 

I placed my hand over his and swiped my tongue over the head.  The sensation was strange and it had a taste and touch that was out of this world, so much raw power and emotional feeling contained in something so animate, yet smooth.  It was delicate, yet hard like forged steel.  I was overwhelmed by how something that was so strong and rigid was the most sensitive place on his body. 

It didn’t take me long to get into the action, I explored and investigated using the very tip of my tongue, following round the bulbous head ensuring I was committing everything to my memory bank.

My teeth naturally shielded themselves so I could take the top deeper into my mouth and at the first hint of his enjoyment, I felt my own sex spasm.  I was intrigued to know how far I could swallow him, I wanted to give myself the pleasure of learning with a patient teacher, but I wanted nothing more than to drive him wild and force him over the edge.

Ross was too big to get all of him fully in my mouth and at the first tonsil touching moment, I retreated quickly.  Gathering my breath, I unpeeled his fingers and replaced them with my own so I could get down to business.

“Never have I seen anythin’ so fuckin’ erotic in all my life baby.  To know you’ve never done this, that I’m your first, is unreal,” I hear him say, struggling to maintain his composure.  I was fully in a rhythm of shucking the base of his dick while bobbing and weaving my mouth over the top, I could sense the effect I was having as his breathing continued to deepen and his quad muscles got tenser and tenser.  After a short while he reached for my other hand and prompted me to take hold of his balls, showing me how far I could go in massaging them without pain.  “That’s it baby, fuck yeah.”

His words of encouragement were making me wetter and wetter.  I don’t remember the last time I was so aroused.  Not long after I began the manipulation of his balls he surged forward and slapped his palms on the wall above me.  “I’m gonna cum baby, let me go.”

There was no way that was gonna happen, I’d come this far and wanted to finish.  I was determined to have all of him, so I doubled my efforts.

“Baby, stop.  I’m…” before he could finish, I clamped harder on his balls, obstructing his withdrawal and held him in my mouth.  “Fuck!” He exhaled and I felt him swell in the back of my throat and eject everything I’d worked so hard to build up, leave his body.  The taste wasn’t particularly pleasant, but it was exciting, knowing that I did it to him, I had the power to make that happen and that demanded I see it through to the end.  Swallowing and looking up at him, I could see the effect I’d had, I’d turned him inside out and I was damn proud of myself.

“Shit baby,” Ross said, pulling me to my feet and stroking my face.  “That was amazin’ your courage and desire to see a job through to the end is unbelievable.”  When he leant in to kiss me, I backed away.  He surely couldn’t want to kiss me now.  “Kiss me Cara. I’m on your lips now and you’ve already been on mine, it makes no fuckin’ difference.  It’s us and it’s sexy as hell, so I’m gonna kiss you.”  I immediately went at him, I needed him, I was turned on and I wanted to feel him all around me.  “Cara, you amaze me,” he told me between kisses.

My kisses felt feral with desire and it didn’t take long for him to get hard again.  In yet another first experience, he picked me up and made love to me slowly against the shower wall.  He covered me completely and with every thrust inside me our eyes never left each others.  It was the most,
the most
loving and sensual experience I’d ever had and I was pleased to have something amazing to cherish inside me, those occasions hadn’t happened often in my life.

After we’d both reached our climax, he stayed inside me, we were breathing heavy and enjoying the connection.  The water had long gone cold but neither of us cared, we didn’t feel it because of the heat we were both expelling from our bodies.

I was back in my blissful place, tracing his tattoo’s when I heard, “And just so we’re clear baby, I’m about to be your first for a lot of things, but I’m also gonna be your last.  Whatever this is, we feel right, we feel good.  Fate has given me you to protect and cherish and I promise you I’ll do that.  With everythin’ I am and have I will make you safe so we can have a life together.  One that we both deserve, out in the open.  No runnin’ and no undercover alias’s, enough pretending.  OK?”

“OK Ross,” I told him unable to hide the smile on my face, it would be a dream come true and if anyone could give it to me, I knew he could.

The only worrying part was that I knew he took his protection duty seriously, so serious that I suspected he’d die trying to keep me safe and right now that was just as terrifying as jumping in and letting this happen.