Survivor (The Soul Mates Series Book 1) (15 page)

Dolly chatted a million miles an hour yet she never asked me a thing.  Weirdly she never asked about Ross, whether we were together or how we had got together, she was not what I’d been led to believe about women.  My father always said that it was safer to keep some distance, because women gossiped, I think this was also a problem for my mom.  She lived a life where she also had no escape.

Jonas seemed convinced that we’d both be safe at the coffee shop we were heading to and if all else failed, I remembered Sam’s advice, we were in a public place and I intended to stay there.

“I’ve lived most of my life in Hawkstown, they placed me here when I was officially described as ‘at risk’ and that’s how I ended up with the most loving family ever.  I love this place and I really hope you do, whilst you’re here anyway.  My girlfriends, Neely and Lottie, are coming to meet us for coffee.  Flo is still in school, she’s a teacher so you can meet her another time.  I haven’t told them anything so don’t worry, I’ll just make it up as I go along.”

“Appreciated, thank you.”

“I mean, I’m going to have to anyway because I don’t actually know anything.  Just that you’re a friend of Ross’s and Jonas is helping you out.  So whatever I say, just try and keep up,” she told me, like I was going to struggle.  The thing that I was struggling with was the ‘friend’ comment, it bothered me more than I let on, but what really grated was that this was how Ross had described me to Jonas.   If that was true… well I couldn’t think about that, time to act for Dolly and her friends.

We parked across the street from a seriously cool looking place called Mudjoe’s.  It was the sort of café you’d see featured in a rough guide book for tourists, like a hidden secret you made every effort to seek out even if you were only passing through.  The smell of fresh roasted coffee beans slammed into me like a steam train, it was like a nectar of the Gods.  Being in a public place was still nerve racking, but being in one without Sam or Ross reminded me that I’d been missing out on the normal things in life.  Not that I had much of a life before to begin with, it’s hard to make friends when firstly you’re not allowed out of the house without a body guard and secondly everyone knows who you and your infamous family are, but still, a girl can dream.

“Girls, I’d like you to meet Cara.  Jo,” Dolly shouted, “Two Colombians and a selection of baked goodies please.”  A woman behind the counter waved in agreement and I was left looking like plain Jane super brain whilst Pocahontas and Rapunzel were giving me a thorough once over from a table we were heading towards. “Cara is passing through with her dad Sam, he’s at the house with Jonas going over some business.”

Damn, this girl could improvise.  She looked at me to remind me to play along with the story she was weaving.

Piece of cake.

“Cara, this is Neely and this is Lottie.”

“Hi,” I said shyly, sitting down very quickly.  I was so overwhelmed by their beauty, clothing and general all about model like looks, that I was more than happy to hide half of my drab self beneath a table.

A memory swarmed my mind, I remember looking as put together as these two once.  My clothing and accessories were so sharp I could have been on a magazine shoot, daily.  My hair and makeup was nothing less than star quality.  Now I looked like I’d been lost in the wilderness for years.  My figure was athletic at best and the clothes I wore were functional, if a little on the big side.  I’d lost a few more pounds with my increase in training whilst Ross was away.

“Do I know you from somewhere?”  Lottie asked me, desperately trying to solve the puzzle herself.

“No.  I don’t think so.”  I began to flip my mental resources, scanning my internal hard drive to understand whether we’d ever been at the same place or function.  I came back with nothing, so I was confident when I continued to deny it.  “I’ve never been here, so I doubt you do.”

“Uh… I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually,” she said dismissing it for now.

Neely was quiet, the doorbell sounding distracted her though, “Incoming brothers,” she murmured to Dolly and two attractive looking preppy types wandered over.  What on earth did they put in the water around here, was I the only ugly one in town?

“Cara, these are my twin brothers, Jack and Jake.  Boys, this is Cara.”

“Pleasure to meet such a beautiful newcomer,” replied one of them.

Whilst the other one shouted, “Dibs!” really quickly.

“Fuck Jack, seriously.  You’re not even going to say hi and introduce yourself before you lay claim down?”

“Snooze you lose dickstick,” was the chuckled and inappropriate reply given.

“Settle down guys, she isn’t an object for you to fight over,” Dolly butted in and I got the impression she did this a lot with them.

“You in town long honey?”

“Um…”

“I’d love to show you around, give you the guided tour?”

“It’s that line still working for you Jack?” asked Lottie, clearly amused.

At this point I still hadn’t got a word in, I’m convinced I’ve been placed in some parallel universe where this kind of behavior is considered normal.  Then I remembered I didn’t really know what normal was, this could actually be how friends and siblings really are and I wouldn’t have a clue.

“There is no denying that the oldies are the goodies,” Jack, I now realized, said.

“True.  It has been used a lot and all of the locals are very used to it,” sniggered Jake.

“Oh.  My.  God,” Neely said bewildered.

We all looked at her wondering what was the matter, saying “What?” in unison.

“I think my past has just strolled into town to shake the foundations of my life.  Look over there, right now and tell me if I’m seeing things.  If I’m not, Chris is going to hunt down his ass and kill him.”

We all looked across the road where she was pointing, Lottie too gasped in shock, whilst I was doing everything humanly possible to stay in one piece and not melt into a puddle of goo right there.

Ross, he was here and he was advancing down the street with purpose, looking every inch the supreme human being I knew he was.  The stories my brain had worked through, most especially the erotic ones, had only been kind to his memory.  The reality was much, much more.

His thigh muscles were barely contained in his jeans and I knew from firsthand experience why, they were powerful.  Ross’s large, but skillfully gentle hands were swinging by his side, but best of all was the determination on his face.  It was clear he had a purpose and I was hoping and praying that his purpose was me.

I’d started to tune out all the speculation from people around me about why he was in town, even the other customers seemed to be asking the same question, until Neely said, “He knows I’m fucking married.”

Like all bad episodes of rubbish timing, my mind pieced together words from past conversation.  She was the one he nearly gave it all up for.  Neely was the girl from his past.  This native American stunner was the one who so very nearly claimed his heart.

The inadequacy I felt before, when I first met Dolly’s friends was nothing compared to what was festering within me now.  Inadequate did not cover it, I was so meager and pitiful in comparison that they hadn’t invented a word to describe just how shameful this situation was.

How?

Just how?  How could he have been with her and then find me even remotely attractive?  If he’d met me five years ago, I could have given her a run for her money.  But right now, I was at my worst and so out of my league that it was laughable.

The doorbell jingled again and the room went silent, oddly, it didn’t feel like a good silence either.  This was an atmospheric quiet that spoke volumes, people did not appear to be happy to see Ross, they weren’t clambering over tables to say hi.  They seemed panicky and afraid. 

Ross approached our table with his eyes firmly focused in my direction and before he could get a word in, Dolly jumped up and hugged him.  “Well, well, well, what a surprise, it’s been a while big guy.”

“Dolly,” he smiled back at her with affection.

“You… you know I’m married now right?  What are you doing here?”  Neely asked him, flapping in a manner that would be funny if it wasn’t the least funny thing I’d seen in ages.

“Got the invite,” Ross replied, “and then I remember being disinvited too.  So yeah, I know.”

Holy mother of God, what ever happened between the two of them?  Ross wasn’t the winner, she’d married someone else and he wasn’t even a welcome guest to help them celebrate.  Clearly they were big news and it was so serious that her husband felt threatened.

I felt my fairytale ending start to crack and crumble, all the crazy creative ways I’d imagined we’d beat the odds of my family so we could be together were futile.  There was a tender look in his eyes when he looked at her and it broke me.  I couldn’t compete with the feelings he clearly once felt for her and possible still had.  Years of practice at remaining stoically calm in the face of danger was once again coming in handy.  I’d play it cool until I could make a graceful exit.  My first chance at happiness, at something I wanted so bad and I was just his consolation prize, his second option because the first didn’t play out for him.  “Babe, stop daydreaming and get over here,” I heard.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked.

“Fuck Cara, what’s working in your head?  Come here.”  Ross asked me again and I found it harder to move than ever before.  My insides were screaming for me to keep up the pretence, whilst my defeated heart just wanted to give up.

For good.

“Whys he here again? And why is he calling Cara babe?”  Jake then asked no one in particular.  The whole coffee shop was still quiet, it seemed the new girl and the unwelcome return of Ross had caused quite a stir.  Realizing I was the centre of attention and exactly the wrong place for me, a woman supposedly in hiding, I pushed back my chair to move.

The doorbell jingled again and like everyone else I looked to see who it was, hearing Lottie say, “Uh oh,” was not as unexpected as it seemed unwelcome.  Neely went white as a sheet as Dolly began to join in the girl group who were now visibly twitchy with the latest newcomer.

“Chris,” Ross grunted, offering him a chin lift.

“Don’t fuckin’ greet me.  I told you what would happen if you ever came here again,” the hot, yet very angry looking cowboy replied.  It was once again not lost on me that another dish of the day had arrived.  More building blocks cemented the picture and truth forming when Neely moved like lightening to get in between them.  This would be her husband then.  I knew I should be doing something, but all I could think was,
yeah he’s cute, but no contest, Ross everytime. 

“Not good, not good,” Dolly stressed, rapidly pushing buttons on her cell phone.  It was then that I noticed Lottie doing the same, “Jo’s place now.  Karma kick off,” was what she said into the handset.

It was clear that things between Ross and Neely must have been serious to cause this much panic amongst the locals.

“You’ll get one shot Chris and then this shit is over,” Ross told the cowboy, slowing raising his palms, gesturing peace and surrender.

“I owe you a fuck of a lot more,” he snarled back.

“I’m not here for this and I don’t have the fuckin’ time either Chris,” Ross spat back.

The door flew open again as a suited and booted GQ centre fold walked in and pushed Neely to one side, taking her place.  “Calm the fuck down.  This is ridiculous.  Do I need to call the sheriff?” he asked both of them.

“Already on route,” shouted the attractive older woman behind the counter, she didn’t seem as bothered as the rest, well I assumed so anyway, someone elbow deep in dishwater didn’t come across as stressed to me.  More like this was an everyday occurrence.

I’d seen enough.

I was stupid to dream of any kind of future any way, I didn’t have one.  I was a toe tag away from the heaven Vs hell judgment call as it was. 

There was so much I didn’t know about Ross and my naivety to believe that this was more than a job to him was both innocent and stupid.

The fight began, I saw Chris throw one punch around Mr. GQ and any guy in range then surged forward to contain the spread of the battle zone.  In a move so polar opposite, most of the females made a sensible decision to retreat and give them room, content to let it play out.

I was going to give them room, lots of it, miles and miles of it.  A whole geographic state of room.  I rose from my chair and walked towards the counter, “Rest room please?  No, forget that, back door?”

“Of course, escape the drama, good idea.  I just wish I could,” she commented and grabbed a dish towel whilst leading the way.  I opened the door to an alley and had no idea where I was going.  I’d hidden before, I could do it again and thankfully I’d learned more survival skills for the next round.  Having more preparation this time should make this easier and if it wasn’t for my breaking heart I’m sure it would feel that way.

A huge Ford truck came barreling down the alley and screeched to a halt in front of me, I quickly looked around for somewhere to hide as Jonas unfolded out of the driver’s side.  “Fuck!” I heard whistle through his teeth, “Where are you going Cara.  You were supposed to stay in public.”