Sweet Harmonies (30 page)

So, why, then? She wasn't quite sure,
herself. But the closest answer she could come up with was one
that, while it didn't cast her in a very flattering light, at least
felt honest.

She thought that the reason that she had
never taken a good look at her life and decided to hop off the fame
train and tell all those soul-suckers to find a new victim was
that...it just never occurred to her.

Yep. As simple as that. She cringed inside.
She literally just never stopped and thought about it long enough
to consider that the life she was living might not be good for her.
She had never thought enough of herself as a person – not as a
commodity, but as a human being – to consider that her feelings
might be as important as her talent.

What had changed that for her? If she was
honest with herself, which she was now trying her best to be, she
had to admit that it was Ryan. Yes, her decision to move back to
Hope Falls and return to her roots had been solidified before she
met him, but at that point she was still thinking of that being a
good move for her artistically. A way to change the direction of
her career.

Ryan had cast a different light on the
situation. He had held up a mirror to her, and when she looked into
it, she saw Karina Blackstone staring back at her. And it had
shocked her. After becoming so used to looking into dressing room
mirror after dressing room mirror for over a decade and seeing
nothing but Karina Black there, to see her true self reflected in
Ryan's eyes was a revelation.

Then, of course, there were the massive
amounts of physical chemistry she and Ryan shared. Half the time
she was around him, her hormones were raging as hot as an inferno,
burning at such a dangerous temperature that she was afraid she
might just spontaneously combust! When he looked at her, it felt
like the rest of the world just melted away.

She had never met anyone like Ryan. He was
confident, and funny. He didn't play games. Now that she had taken
a good hard look at the life she had made for herself for the last
ten years, and the people she had surrounded herself with, it
seemed like a little glimpse of heaven to spend time around someone
who was straightforward, who wasn't constantly watching for an
opening, who wasn't always looking to manipulate and play an
angle.

Then there was the way he loved his family.
He was out here helping his grandmother run her business, that was
a big sacrifice. It was clear when you saw the two of them
together, as well, that he truly and deeply cared for her. Since
Sue Ann was also one of Karina's favorite people in the world, this
earned him major points with her.

She also loved the way that he got along with
pretty much everyone he met, seemingly effortlessly. He had such an
easygoing and engaging manner that people were just drawn to him
naturally, and in turn, he seemed to see the best in those that he
met.

Hell, even Kyle Austen Reed – a man that most
guys in Ryan's position would see as a “rival” – Ryan saw him with
clear eyes. As someone who was no threat to him. He saw Kyle's good
and bad qualities for what they actually were.

If she had to boil down the quality to its
essence, she guessed she would have to call it “confidence,”
although the confidence that Ryan displayed bore no resemblance to
the cocky self-assurance that she had always thought of as the
embodiment of that quality.

No. With Ryan, it was something quieter, much
more subtle. He was simply totally comfortable in his own skin. You
could tell within minutes of meeting him that he knew exactly who
he was, and he was satisfied with that. He didn't feel the need to
inflate that sense of himself with aggrandizing, or the need to
degrade it with false modesty. It simply was what it was.

She sighed to herself. Yes, all of Ryan's
qualities were great. Spectacular. Amazing. Maybe even once in a
lifetime. But none of that mattered, because Karina knew enough
about how the world worked to know that, ultimately, this would
never work out. No matter how strong her feelings, or Ryan's, or
how fervently she wished it would.

When she looked at Ryan, at the kind of man
he was, it was easy to look into the crystal ball ten years down
the road and see the kind of woman he would end up with. A solid
family woman, with roots as deep and pervasive as his own.

Was that going to be someone who was out on
tour three quarters of the year? No. Was it going to be someone who
didn't even know her parents, and who had a grandmother who wasn't
currently speaking to her...BECAUSE of him, in fact? Again, no.

She strengthened her resolve. Again, she
reminded herself, this is why it is very important to concentrate
on just enjoying the time that she did have with Ryan, and not ruin
it by constantly worrying about the future, and what would happen
there. Just relish the here and now, she commanded herself, and let
the future take care of itself.

As Ryan helped her down from the passenger
seat of his truck, Old Man King came out of the office to greet
them.“Hey, there, young people!” he called to them with a wide
smile on his face, “You've got the place all to yourselves!”

Karina greeted him with a friendly embrace
and said, “Mr. King, it was so kind of you to open up especially
for us today. You didn't have to do that!”

The elderly man returned her embrace, saying,
“It's good to see you, Karina. And as for opening up special for
you all, well, now you know I'd do just about anything for Sue Ann.
She's a mighty fine lady, she is.”

“
She is,” Ryan agreed, looking a little
uncomfortable, “I'll tell her that you said hello.”

“
Yes, you do that now, hear? Well, I'll
leave you to it. I'll be in the office if there's anything that you
need. You kids have fun. When you’re finished up, go ahead and lock
the gate on your way out.”

“
Thanks, Mr. King!” they chorused as
they headed off towards the ice.

The sound of Mr. King's voice followed them
as they walked away down the path to the pond, “Now, you don't
forget to say hello to your grandmother!”

Karina laughed and Ryan just shook his
head.

“
Ooo la la, she is a ‘mighty fine
lady’!” she teased as they laced up their skates, “You know,
there's a Barenaked Ladies line that comes to mind. The phrase is
'senior citizens in love' – appropriate, don't you
think?”

Ryan groaned, “I don't want to think about
someone having the hots for my Granny. I especially don't want to
think about it while I'm on a date!”

Karina tied the last knot in her laces and
stood, gracefully launching herself out onto the ice. Ryan watched,
amazed, as she glided, spun, and jumped. Finally, she came to a
stop in front of him, cheeks rosy from the enjoyment and the
exertion.

“
Come on, slowpoke, I thought we were
skating!” she giggled.

Ryan, who had not even finished tying the
laces on his skates yet, looked up at her and said, “Whoa, girl! If
this music thing doesn't work out for you, at least you have a
backup plan! Show skating!”

Karina laughed joyfully and turned a few more
circles and said, “Oh, man, Ryan, I love to ice skate! I have ever
since I was little. It's the closest thing I've ever felt to
flying!”

Ryan looked at her thoughtfully, clearly
realizing that this would be an opportune time to peel back another
layer in the mystery that was Karina Blackstone.

“
So, did you always know that you
wanted to be a musician? And I don’t want to hear the canned answer
that you've given in interviews. I want to know the real
answer.”

Karina continued to glide in lazy circle
eights, and Ryan was just opening his mouth to apologize if he had
stepped over the line when she answered.

“
Not professionally, no. Music has
always been my escape, the place where I belonged. Music never
judged me. And it was the one thing I could trust to be there no
matter what. Music has never let me down. Now that it's a career,
it has become more about money than music. Don't get me wrong. I'm
so grateful to have the opportunity to make music for a
living.”
She looked down and paused. When she again raised her head, the sad
expression on her face belied her words, “I'm very lucky,
really.”

Her openness not only took Ryan by pleasant
surprise, but also confused him a little. He figured that, since
she was in an “opening up” sort of mood, now would be as good a
time as any to ask about her parents. Go big or go home, right?

He tried to segue into it as seamlessly as
possible so that the conversation would not begin to feel like an
interrogation.

“
Well, you're definitely a natural,” he
said sincerely, “Were either of your parents musical?”

Karina shrugged, her studied attempt at
nonchalance betraying the depth of her true feelings far more
clearly than an emotional outburst would have done.

“
I have no idea. Renata never talked
about what my Mom was like, even as a child. I tried every way I
knew how to get my Grandmother to tell me about my Mom. I begged,
cried, demanded, I even went on a food strike for three days once.
It didn’t matter what tactic I used every time I've asked her about
my Mom or my Dad for that matter, she just changes the subject –
and if I push her too hard, she just says it’s not the time to talk
about it.”

“
They're your parents, you have a right
to know about them,” Ryan said softly, hoping that this would
validate her feelings – feelings that she wasn't voicing, but that
were written so clearly across her lovely face.

Karina spat out a bitter laugh, “You try to
explain that to my Grandmother next time you see her, see how well
that works out.”

Karina continued to skate in silence for a
moment, then said worriedly, “I was kidding, you know – don't
honestly bring it up to her...”

Ryan laughed, “Don't worry, I would never say
that to her. In fact, I can't imagine myself ever not being too
intimidated by her to say much more than 'Yes, ma'am' if we were to
ever talk.”

“
Probably for the best,” Karina said
with a small smile.

“
Have you ever thought about searching
for your Dad, maybe he could give you some answers?”

Karina nodded, “Sure, of course. I've given
it some thought. I used to think that as soon as I turned 18, I'd
go looking for him. But by my 18
^th
birthday I was
already started on the roller coaster ride that is my career. I
just never got around to doing it.”

Ryan mulled that over, letting the silence
hang in the air for a moment to give her space to process the fact
that she had just shared personal information with him, had been
vulnerable. Ryan realized that there was definitely more to the
story, but that could wait for another day. For right now, he was
merely grateful that she had felt safe enough with him to share as
much as she had.

When the heaviness in the air began to
dissipate, Ryan stood and started to stiffly shuffle over to her on
the ice, nearly losing his balance with every small movement he
made, and flailing his arms wildly in an attempt to remain on his
feet.

Karina watched this for a moment and then
doubled over with laughter.

“
Hey, now!” he cried, in mock
indignation, “I'm just as good as you! I just have a different
style....”

She stood up, still laughing, and wiping
tears from her eyes.

“
I'm sorry,” she gasped between bursts
of hilarity, “It's just...oh, man...I thought you said you'd skated
before.”

“
I've roller skated!” Ryan defended, “I
just figured...how different could it be?”

“
Well, you're in the process of finding
out exactly how different!”

Ryan smiled affectionately as he drew closer
to her, “Hey, watch it, lady. I think that you're taking entirely
too much pleasure from my humiliation. How do you know I won't
reach out and take you down with me?”

He made a swipe at her, mainly for show, and
she squealed delightedly and spun expertly away from him. She made
a huge show of skating all around him at high speed, zooming in
close and then zipping away when he made a show of trying to grab
her.

Finally, she came to a stop right next to
him, her smooth skin flush and glowing from the exertion.

“
Had enough?” she said
playfully.

“
More than enough,” he admitted with a
grin, “I have to bow to your prowess. You are, in fact, better than
me.”

Karina smiled brightly as she turned so she
was standing directly in front of him. Facing Ryan she took his
hands as she began skating backwards, pulling him along with her,
“The trick is to push off and glide, smooth and steady that’s the
key.”

Ryan followed her directions and after a
while, although he was nowhere near as graceful as Karina he was
making it around the rink unassisted, becoming steadier and more
confident with each lap.

He may, however, have overestimated his
budding ability, when he decided to pick up the pace to catch up
with Karina who was a few feet in front of him, his legs were
suddenly not underneath him and the next thing he knew he was flat
on his back looking up at the sky.

Hearing the loud thud as Ryan hit the ice
Karina spun around quickly. Trying her best to repress the laughter
that was bubbling up inside her at the sight of Ryan sprawled out
comically on the ice she rushed to his side, “Are you OK?”

A huge smile spread across Ryan’s face as he
looked up at Karina, equal parts amusement and concern written all
over her beautiful face, “Yep, but I don’t think the Ice Capades
will be calling anytime soon.”