Sweet Vengeance (15 page)

And
really, did her declaration change anything?  He'd willingly put himself in the
line of fire for her more than once.  He'd do it again.  For her and her baby. 
She was a soothing balm to his hardened soul.  She'd made him remember things,
like what it was like to have a family, to have someone who loved him.  Maybe
it was because she lacked these same things in her life.  All he knew was he
craved being near her.  The fact she was pregnant changed none of that. 

Jase
raked a hand across his hair.  Women sure as hell were complicated.  He glanced
toward the restrooms, expecting to see her disappear inside.  Instead, she was
talking to a trucker decked out in jeans and a cowboy hat.

Oh,
hell.

Jase
hurried toward her, Boo at his heel.

When
he approached, Allie gave him a quick glance, her green eyes rimmed with red. 
The trucker turned to Jase, putting himself between Allie and Jase.  Irritation
flared inside him. 

"I
don't think you're wanted here."  The man might have been older than Jase
by ten or so years, but he still looked like he'd put up a hell of a fight if
Jase pushed him.  Jase had no doubt he could take the trucker, but it wouldn't
be easy.

"I
don't want any trouble."  Jase forced himself to remain calm.  "We
just had a fight and she's mad at me, but there's no reason for you to get
involved."

"The
little lady says otherwise."  He folded his arms across his chest. 

Jase
glanced over the trucker's grizzled beard and stained shirt, wondering how best
to proceed.  In the end, his patience failed.  "I'm not leaving here
without her, and I sure as hell am not letting her leave with you."

"Yeah?" 
The older man challenged him.

"Yeah." 
Jase stood his ground.

Before
either man could do anything else, Allie stepped out from behind the trucker. 
Jase glanced at her, and the trucker took the opportunity to place a
well-rounded fist in Jase's gut. 

Jase
bent over from the impact, but quickly straightened and gave the guy a good one
to the jaw.  The man reeled backward and landed hard on his ass.

"No,"
Allie cried, looking from the trucker to him.

"Get
in the car, Allie."

She
shook her head and glanced at the trucker.

Could
she not see what kind of danger she'd just placed them in?  "If you don't
get in the car, I'm going to have to kick his ass.  Someone will call the cops
and—"

"Fine." 
She whirled and stomped toward the SUV.

He
followed, let Boo in and climbed onto his seat as she slammed her door.  He
backed out, circling around the edge of the parking lot so the trucker couldn't
get a good look at his license plate.  It wouldn't have mattered, he realized
as he caught a glimpse of the trucker in his rearview mirror.  The guy was
barely getting to his feet.

Jase
hadn't liked hitting the man, but Allie had left him no choice.  He thought
about revisiting their earlier discussion, and then decided they both needed
some time to cool off.  Later, he'd apologize, let her know he still intended
to help her, and then maintain a healthy distance from her so he didn't grow
more attached.  He didn't need this kind of trouble.

They
drove the rest of the trip with the radio making the only sound in the car
other than Boo's panting.  Jase had to admit he was relieved when they finally
pulled into the Cedar Rapids Airport. 

He
drove to the area reserved for personal aircraft and parked his SUV.  He
stepped out, glancing back at Allie.  She refused to look at him.  "I'll
be right back.  Don't leave."  He almost shut his door and then stopped. 
"I mean it.  Stay here, in the car, with Boo."  He didn't wait for a
reply.

Allie
watched Jase head for a white building with smaller airplanes parked behind
it.  She'd made a huge mess out of things.  She'd known telling Jase about the
baby was a bad idea.  Now he was mad at her, she was sure he didn't trust her,
and that poor trucker?  He'd only been trying to help her.  Why didn't Jase
just let her go with the man?  All Jase's problems would have been solved. 
Instead he took a punch for her and now he was still stuck with her and her
mobster baby.

She
placed a hand on her stomach, looking out at the afternoon horizon.  Blue sky,
green grass, tall trees to climb.  Things a child should grow up with.  Not
dirty streets and violence.  She'd considered an idea for a while now, and the
more she thought about it, the more she realized it would be the best for her
baby if she gave her to a loving family. 

Allie
squeezed her eyes shut, willing her tears to disappear.  How could she possibly
think of giving away the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world? 
Since her mother had died, she'd prayed for someone to love.  Then Joey had
come into her life, and she'd thought God had answered her.  Their baby should
have made everything perfect.  What could be better than a sweet bundle to love
and hug and kiss?

But
not like this.  Her baby deserved so much more than Allie could give her.  And
there were people out there, loving people who could provide a stable, safe
home.  There would be no fear of the mob showing up on their doorstep when they
least expected it.

She
released a shuddering sigh, trying to reconcile with her idea.  Boo must have
sensed her emotions and whimpered from the back.  Allie patted the driver's
seat, and the dog joined her in the front.  He sat with his pink tongue hanging
out, staring at the window, waiting for his master to return.

When
Allie couldn't stand to be alone with her thoughts any longer, she grabbed the
leash from under her feet and hooked it to Boo's collar.  It wasn't like Jase
could get any angrier than he was, and she needed air.

She
walked toward the edge of the parking lot and stopped to watch as a commercial
airliner took off in the distance.  A slight breeze caressed her skin, and she
closed her eyes.  She stood that way for a moment until Boo's collar jingled
and he tugged on his leash.  She opened her eyes to see Jase approaching.  He
wore dark sunglasses, and she couldn't tell from his expression if he was angry
or not.  "I don't need another lecture."

He
raised his brows.  "About what?"

"About
me leaving the car." 

He
snorted.  "Like I thought you'd stay put anyway."

Allie
frowned at him.

He
held up a hand.  "We need to talk, and I don't want to fight
anymore."

She
wasn't sure there was anything left to say between them, so she remained
silent.

Jase
sighed.  "That, back there at the rest stop, didn't go very well."

She
turned away, watching another airplane.  "You think?"

He
touched her arm.  "Allie, please, I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry.  I
handled that very badly.  I wasn't expecting you to tell me you were pregnant. 
You surprised me, but that's all it was.  Everything's going be okay."

Her
bottom lip quivered, and she bit it to hide the movement.  She hadn't expected
him to be nice to her.  She was prepared for anger and disgust, but not this. 
"It doesn't feel okay.  I never got a chance to tell Joey.  Now he's dead,
I'm pregnant, and you're..."  She trailed off, burying her head in her
hands.  She refused to cry again. 

Jase's
resolve to keep some distance between them crumbled.  He pulled Allie into his
embrace.  She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight.  Life was
cruel.  Here was a woman he could love.  Flesh and blood, standing right in
front of him.  She needed him.  And he couldn't have her.  Crazy as it seemed,
thoughts of marriage and family were firing left and right in his brain.  But
he had nothing to offer her.  Nothing but death and violence.  She'd already
had more than her share of that. 

Damn
the Trasattis.  Damn them.

Jase
pulled back, wiping a tear from her cheek.  "I guess this will change your
plans for the future."

"No." 
She cleared her throat.  "It won't."  She shook her head,
determination strengthening her voice.  "I've been thinking, and I've
decided I want to put the baby up for adoption." 

She
took a deep breath before rushing on.  "My baby deserves a better life
than I can give her.  It might kill me to give her up, but it would be wrong to
bring her into a world of violence.  She needs a stable mother and a father,
and a warm, safe place to grow up.  Kids shouldn't have to worry about things
like guns and drugs, and not having their mothers around.  I know what it's
like to grow up that way."  She let out a shuddering breath.  "It's
better for her if I give her up."

"Okay." 
Jase paused, wondering how to help her.  He reached out to take her hand. 
"Are you sure you've thought this through?"  He knew hormones did
crazy things to women when they were pregnant.  "Now might not be the best
time to make a big decision like this."

"It's
the perfect time."  She put a hand over her stomach.

Jase
watched as her fingers caressed her still-flat belly.  Then he looked at her,
trying to grasp the fact that she really did have a baby growing inside her. 
He hated to admit part of him wished it didn't exist.  He didn't like the
complications it added to their relationship.  But then again, he didn't have a
relationship with Allie and never would.  The growing baby inside her was
innocent and deserved a good life.

"Joey's
not going to be here to help me raise this baby," she continued. 
"And that's probably a good thing."  A flash of sadness dampened her
features, but when she spoke, it was anger he heard.  "Joey put me in the
line of fire.  He didn't care about me like I thought he did."  She wiped
a stray tear from her cheek.  "He wouldn't have cared about our baby,
either."  She looked down at Boo, but Jase had seen the pain shadowed in
her eyes.  It tore at him.

"It's
a girl, then?" 

Allie
sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes.  "What?"

"A
girl.  When you were talking about your baby, you kept saying 'she'." 

A
hint of pink brightened Allie's cheeks.  "No.  I mean I don't know if it's
a boy or girl.  I'm not that far along."  She shifted her stance.  "I
just...sense that it's a girl."

Jase
nodded and smiled.  He liked how she felt connected to her baby already.  He
also had a feeling it wouldn't be so easy for her to give it up when the time
came.  But, he was impressed Allie was willing to put her baby's needs before
her own.  He didn't know many people who would.

It
took Allie a half second of looking into Jase's smiling face before a huge wave
of relief washed over her.  She'd been afraid to tell him, but in the long run,
it had been the right thing to do. 

She'd
been so stupid in the past, thinking Joey would change, getting pregnant and
pretending they'd have a good life.  It was amazing how a horrific event could
alter a person's thinking.  But the look on Jase's face proved he didn't hold
the idiotic life decisions she'd made against her.  That meant the world to
her.

Her
emotions stumbled when Jase unexpectedly took her hands.  "Whatever you
decide to do, I'll help you.  You can't undo what's been done.  All you can do
is move forward."

Oh,
God.  The heart she'd wanted to keep protected jumped head first in love with
the man before her, and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop it.  Emotion
clogged her throat.  She released his hands and hugged him.  It felt good to be
in his arms.  He was strong and comforting, and though she wasn't searching for
it, she couldn't mistake the sweet tension that zinged through her.

Without
thinking, she leaned back and placed a hand on his cheek.  "Thank
you."  Where would she be without him?  Probably dead.  She reached up and
slid his glasses from his face.  She wanted to read his eyes.  "You've
done so much for me.  I want you to know I appreciate it."  She stood on
her tiptoes and pressed her lips lightly against his. 

A
powerful attraction slammed into her, and she jerked back.  She hadn't meant it
to be anything more than a thank you.  But the look in his eyes and the
sensations rushing through her told her it had been much more than that.

What
would have happened if she hadn't pulled back?  What if she kissed him again?

"Allie..." 
Jase seemed to read her mind.  His gaze smoldered with both a warning and a
promise.

Time
slowed, and she was deliciously caught in the moment.  A shallow breath stalled
in her chest as she dropped her gaze to his lips.  They looked soft and inviting,
and there were no words to explain how badly she wanted to taste him.  His hand
slipped around her waist, and without hesitation, she leaned in to him.

His
lips were whisper soft against hers.  Gentle, comforting, but they sparked a
fire deep in her soul.  She pressed harder against him, deepening their kiss. 

It
was like a wild fire on dry timber.  Once kindled, there was no stopping it. 
She needed more.  His tongue mingled with hers as he slid a strong hand around
the back of her neck, tilting her head and holding her there.  Her world spun
out of control, and she could think of nothing but the sweet taste of him.  It
was so right.  She slid her hand up his neck, touching his face, her fingers
close to where their lips met.