Sweet Vengeance (23 page)

A
few deep breaths helped.  From her side window, she watched as they drew closer
to a nostalgic red barn.  She caught a flash of black and white cows as she and
Jase whisked past.  Blinking, she focused on her knees, not wanting to see the
lush, green Oregon countryside slip away.  She'd embraced its beauty during the
short time she'd been there, and knowing she was losing it as well as Jase only
made her feel worse. 

Almost
an hour of silence had passed.  Not even Boo had made a peep.  The Columbia
River had traveled alongside them as the landscape changed from luxuriant and
peaceful, to a vibrant city, lush, green, and formally groomed.  Allie had seen
signs indicating they were approaching Portland.  She had no idea where they
were going, but she wasn't going to ask, either.  Wherever it was, it was not
where she wanted to be. 

"There's
another packet in the glove box for you."  Jase finally broke the silence
as he crossed a bridge.  Like Chicago, Portland was a city of bridges. 
"There's a card in there with a number on it you can call when you're
ready to have your baby.  You can trust these people to help you with the
adoption."

She
nodded, not looking in his direction.  Her baby.  It was funny how it no longer
seemed like it was Joey's.  Pretty soon, it wouldn't be hers, either.  But that
was the one good thing she could do.  She could ensure this baby had a stable,
happy life. 

"There
are keys to an apartment in a safe area near campus.  The lease is in your new
name."  He turned onto a one-way street and drove them over another
bridge.  Tall buildings closed in around them, and the sidewalks were busy with
people beginning their lunch breaks. 

Jase
pulled to the side of the street and stopped.  He turned to her.  "Did you
memorize your new information?" 

Allie
looked up.  "Yes."  She hadn't.  Not really.  She'd glanced at it a
few times but couldn't bring herself to face the future until she had to. 
"Where are we?"

"Downtown
Portland." 

"Why
did you stop?"  They were sitting outside a tall building that seemed to
be made of nothing but reflective glass.  "I thought I was going to
California." 

"Allie." 
Jase removed his sunglasses and took her hand.  "I'm not going to L.A.
with you.  This is as far as I can go."  He reached over and opened the
glove box, pulling out a large white envelope.  "Everything else you'll
need is in here.  Turn left on the next street and follow the signs to the
entrance for the interstate.  There's a map inside that will get you from here
to your apartment."

The
switch from what she'd expected caught her off guard, and immediately emotions
clogged her throat.  She'd thought she'd still have hours with him. 
"You're leaving
now
?"  Tears slipped down her cheeks.

He
squeezed her hand.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  "It's better
this way."

"No. 
It's not."  She'd promised herself she wouldn't say anything, but she
couldn't help it.  She looked at him through wet lashes.  "It's not
better.  I love you, and I don't want to be away from you."

He
shook his head.  "It's all the trauma.  You feel safe with me, and you're
equating that to love."

"No,
I'm not."  He was so wrong.  "Trauma had nothing to do with what
happened between us the other night."

He
dropped his gaze.  "That was a mistake."

"How
can you say that?"  It wasn't true.  She wouldn't believe it.  "Admit
it Jase.  There's something between us."

She
could see the distress on his face as his jaw tightened, and she felt a bit of
hope.  He wasn't as disconnected as he'd like to believe he was. 

"Admit
it."

He
turned to her, and the look of pain in his eyes startled her.  "It's not
going to work, Allie.  It doesn't matter if there's something between us or
not.  We have no future.  I already explained how dangerous we are to each
other."  He slipped his hand from hers.  "I need to get back to
Chicago, and you need to get that degree you've always wanted."

She
grasped the sleeve of his black T-shirt, ready to beg.  "We could—"

"No. 
You're better off without me."  He opened the door and climbed out. 
"The car's yours, too."  The sound of his door shutting shattered her
heart.

Stunned,
she watched as he walked behind the car and onto the sidewalk, blending with
the crowd of people that moved in the opposite direction. 
No
, her mind
screamed.  No. 

She
shut off the car's engine and yanked out the keys.  She scrambled out the
passenger door and quickly scanned for Jase's head bobbing among the other
people.

She
couldn't see him.  Her heart thundered in her ears.  It wasn't going to end
like this.  She wouldn't let it.  She was all set to run after him when Boo
barked.  The sound jolted her.  She glanced at the sweet face looking at her
from the back seat with expectant eyes.  

Jase
had left his dog with her?  On purpose?  He wouldn't do that.  She glanced down
the street and then back at Boo.  She couldn't leave him alone in the car to
chase after Jase.  Then the realization sank in.  She'd found the answer.  She
didn't have to search for Jase.  When he realized he'd left his dog behind,
he'd come after her.  Then she'd have one more chance to convince Jase they
should give their love a shot.  All she had to do was go to her apartment. 
He'd know how to find her there.  The thought eased the aching in her chest a
little bit.  Everything would be okay.

Though
her insides shook with emotion, Allie climbed into the driver's seat and
started the engine.  She might have thought she wanted to go off to college and
have an important career, but what she really wanted had just deserted her on a
busy street in Oregon.

*        *       
*

Jase
walked the streets of Portland for an hour before he called Robert to pick him
up.  He had vaguely been aware of the sun on his shoulders and the sounds of
traffic and people rushing around him.  More than once, he'd been tempted to
find his way into a hotel bar and bury himself in a bottle of scotch to wash
away the memory of the frightened look he'd seen on Allie's face as he'd left
her.  But he'd learned alcohol only prolonged the pain.  Still he'd needed time
alone, time to gain control of his thoughts and emotions.

When
Jase spied the familiar black sedan coming down the street, he headed toward
the edge of the sidewalk.  Robert pulled to the curb, and Jase got in.

"I
don't want to hear it."  Jase clicked his seatbelt in place.

Robert
looked over his shoulder and merged into traffic.  "I wasn't going to say
a thing."

"But
you were thinking it."

Robert
shrugged.  "Did you have to dump her like that?"

"What
else was I supposed to do, Robert?"  It's not like he wanted to hurt
Allie.  "She needed the car with her in L.A.  I needed to distract her so
she wouldn't be able to find her way back to the ranch.  My options were
limited."

"I'm
not sure it was a good idea to send her down to California alone.  She might
run into trouble." 

"She's
not alone.  She's got Boo, and I bought her a Blackberry in case she needs to
call for help."

That
earned him a surprise reaction from Robert.  "You gave her your dog?  Man,
you love that dog."

He
loved Allie more.  "Boo will help keep her safe.  And Calvin's following
her.  He's going to stick around for a while to make sure she's settled and no
one bothers her."  Jase needed to know she was safe, too.  He wasn't a
completely heartless bastard.

"Yeah,
but
she
thinks she's alone."

That
was the part that really ripped his guts.  He looked out the passenger window
and into the mirror, watching the tall buildings fade into the distance. 
Jase's phone buzzed, and he glanced at the incoming text.  Somewhere on a
stretch of I-5, Calvin informed him, Allie was headed toward her new life. 
Away from Jase.

She
might think she was alone, but she wasn't.  She'd taken his heart along with
her.

Sacramento,
California.  September.  Six years later.

Would
it ever end?  Alexandra Fox slammed the door to her mailbox and turned the
key.  She surveyed the small empty lobby of her apartment building before she
tucked her mail under her arm except for one offending envelope.  Even though
she'd lived in relative peace since she'd come to California, she never stopped
being watchful.  A product of her youth, she supposed.  Most of the people who
lived in the older building with her were hardworking and pretty honest, but
she trusted no one. 

Allie
slid her nail under the envelope flap and ripped it open.  It was her monthly
bank statement, and sure enough the regular five thousand dollar deposit was
there.  Again.  Lots of people dreaded getting notices from the bank, but she
was probably the only person on the planet who got angry over a statement
showing extra money had been deposited
into
her account.

It
had to stop.  She fumed up two flights of stairs, down the dim hallway with its
faded blue carpet.  Why couldn't the man leave her alone?  Jase had forced her
to leave Oregon.  Someone needed to force him to let go, too. 

Her
agitation increased when she dug for her keys causing the mail to slip from
under her arm.  The pile landed with a thud on the worn blue carpet, the latest
addition of the Pottery Barn catalog resting with its pages splayed across the
floor.

She
sighed.  With inadequate lighting, she searched her purse and found the keys. 
She stuffed the appropriate one in the lock and turned it to no avail.  Her
curse echoed down the narrow hallway, and she was half-surprised her neighbors
didn't peek out of their thin doors. 

Of
course the lock wouldn't open.  She pulled out the key, jammed it in again, and
jerked it.  Nothing.  She twisted the knob and banged against the door, knowing
full well it wouldn't help anything.  Boo barked from the inside.

One
of these days, she'd get a new lock or maybe a whole new apartment.  She'd
recently finished her master's degree in criminal psychology and was due for
another promotion at work at the local police department. 

If
she were willing to use the five thousand Jase sent her each month, she'd be
set, but she was determined to leave him in the past just like he'd wanted and
continue on with her life.  Someday soon, she'd figure out how to give back all
his money. 

During
her first years in college, she'd been extremely grateful to have it, but
slowly, she'd worked toward a place where she could take care of herself.  And
now she didn't need him.  Just how things should be.  He didn't want her—she
didn't need him.  Perfect.  Years ago, she'd thought she couldn't live without
him, but it turned out she could.

Allie
stopped and took a calming breath.  She couldn't keep letting her past upset
her.  Things were different now.  She pulled the key out and inserted it
gently.  With a firm grip on the doorknob, she turned it slowly, and it
opened. 

"Thank
God," she said, as Boo rushed out into the hallway to greet her.  He
trampled the letters as she tried to retrieve them from under his feet.  In his
excitement, he shredded the front page of her catalog.  "Oh, Boo." 
She picked up the tattered remains, frustrated beyond belief.  How in the hell
would she ever forget Jase when she lived with his dog, and he continued to
send money each month? 

She
hadn't thought of Boo as Jase's dog in a long time, but
something
kept
causing memories of Jase to pop up more than usual.

"Need
some help?" 

She
jerked around and then relaxed when her eyes skimmed over the familiar
dark-haired man with a friendly smile.  "Ryan.  I didn't hear you come
up."  That "something" could very well be standing before her.

"So
much for being an alert cop.  I could have taken you down."  Her boyfriend
took the garbled mail from her and placed a kiss on her cheek.  "You were
too busy wrestling with that mutt." 

"Don't
call him a mutt.  He's a sweetheart."  Allie returned Ryan's friendly
banter, but in the back of her mind, she acknowledged the fear she'd felt over
not hearing him approach.  She was ninety-nine percent confident she'd made a
clean break from her life in Chicago.  Jase had done an excellent job with her
identity.  The true test had been when she'd applied for the police academy. 
But how could she ever be completely sure some of Trasatti's men wouldn't show
up one day?  She couldn't afford to relax her guard.  Ever. 

It
wasn't so much that she was afraid of a confrontation, not like she'd been
before.  Her skills as a trained police officer gave her the confidence to
handle most situations.  It was being caught unaware, like she had the night
Joey had been shot, that frightened her the most.

Ryan
followed her into the apartment and plopped down on the overstuffed
sage-colored couch.  She smiled as she shut the door on the outside world. 
Welcome to her haven.