TAKE ME HOME (14 page)

The server took off in a hurry. Evan bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Penny asked, “Where are you boys headed?”

“Home,” Kyle said. “For Christmas.”

“And home is?”

“Liberty Falls, Ohio.”

“Never heard of it. How long have you lived there?”

Kyle didn’t respond. He unrolled his silverware from the linen napkin. It should’ve been an easy question to answer. They hadn’t lived there in a long time.

“It’s where we grew up,” Evan said.

“So, returning home, then,” she said. “That’s lovely. We live in the same small town where I grew up in Illinois, so I’m always home.”

Always home. Had he ever felt like that anywhere? “Did you take the train all the way to San Francisco?”

“Actually, we drove on the way out. This is our first time on the train. Nate grew up in San Francisco. He doesn’t like to visit, but everyone should return to the place where they came from once in a while. It’s how you remember who you are and what’s important.” Nate leaned across his wife’s lap, pressing her against the back of the bench.

“Hey,” she said.

He ignored her. “Check out the snow.”

They were heading through a thick wooded area, farther into the mountains, and the drifts of snow alongside the tracks illustrated how much it had been snowing there.

Take Me Home

69

“It’s really coming down now,” Penny said. “I’m surprised they didn’t stop us at one of the earlier stations to wait this out.”

“Nah,” Nate said as he returned to his section of the booth. “Trains keep on going. They don’t have to stop like cars. And planes cancel for anything. Or they gotta delay you while they deice the wings. Not with the train. They keep on going. Riding the rails is a much safer way to travel too.”

Penny’s eyebrows rose. “Like you know what you’re talking about. You’re not a world traveler. We’ve only ever gone places we could drive to in the RV. And what do you know about trains? You sound like you used to drive trains for a living. You worked in a sleeping-bag-and-tent factory.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a hard day’s work.”

“I didn’t say there was.”

Evan startled as Kyle moved in close and pointed to the window. “Check it out. There are cabins out there.”

The scent of Kyle’s cologne overwhelmed him. He forced himself to turn and look out the window. The blowing snow made it difficult to see. Nate and Penny continued discussing Nate’s former occupation and his lack of knowledge when it came to various forms of travel.

“There,” Kyle whispered, moving in closer.

Evan almost missed the cabins, what with the blowing snow and the scent of the man beside him, and then he saw them. Two cabins fifty feet apart, each a hundred yards from the tracks. A plume of smoke billowed out the chimney of one. He pictured a log fire, hot cocoa, a blanket to curl up under. “Wouldn’t it be cool to live out there?” Kyle leaned over him the same way Nate had done with his wife. His shoulder brushed against Evan’s chest, and he placed a hand on his thigh. Evan jumped with the touch, and Kyle turned his head until they were eye to eye. He said, “There’s no Starbucks.” This close, the scent of his alluring cologne, and the man underneath, was even more pronounced. He wanted to breathe in more of it, lose himself in that scent. Evan had never considered how to describe that cologne, but it came to him now. Like being outside in the fresh winter air in Ohio. Like sledding and ice skating and snowball fights. Like escaping from the world and feeling free and alive. Had Kyle put on more before coming to get Evan in the observation car? Maybe he did see this as a date.

Evan couldn’t resist. He grabbed Kyle’s hand and slowly slid it up his own thigh, stopping only when they came close to a destination they could never reach at the table with their dinner companions. “But a cabin out there in the wilderness, alone, just us. It would be a nice way to spend the holidays.” He swallowed, his throat suddenly tight with emotion.

Kyle licked his lips and stroked Evan’s thigh, moving their hands as one. “Yeah, it would.”

“How long have you two been together?”

Penny’s voice startled Evan. When had she and Nate stopped their bickering? Kyle sat back but didn’t remove his hand from Evan’s thigh.

Nate tapped the back of his wife’s hand. “Now, don’t embarrass them. What they got going on is their business.”

70

Sloan Parker

Was anything going on? Evan shook his head. “We’re not together. I mean, we are, but…not…like that.” God, he needed to shut up. He’d practically moved Kyle’s hand to his dick in a public dining room. If that wasn’t “together,” what the hell was?

Kyle was still staring at him. A slight curve of his lips had formed as Evan had fumbled with his words. The server arrived with their wine and food, and only then did Kyle slowly remove his hand from Evan’s thigh. Maybe he was okay with people seeing them like that, thinking they were together. Evan stared at the flecks of rosemary covering the chicken on his plate. He sucked in a long breath and tried to remember how to work a knife and fork.

They ate the first few bites of their dinners in silence. Then Nate talked about the upcoming Donner Pass and the train that had been stranded there during a 1952 blizzard, mentioning the three days the passengers were trapped in the frozen train and how they had to be rescued by cars once the nearby highway was dug out. “Donner Pass is also where all them people traveling west in the 1800s got stuck and had to eat each other.”

“Nate!” Penny smacked his arm. “We’re trying to enjoy our dinner.”

“It’s our history.”

“History no one wants to talk about.” Penny laughed, a sound of exasperation and humor.

“Only you and your perverse mind.”

Evan laughed with her. Under Penny and Nate’s harsh words and admonishments, there was sincere affection, years spent together, one knowing the other so well they could talk without complete sentences, could predict the other’s thoughts and actions.

Kyle poked him in the side. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“What?”

“You barely eat enough to stay alive.”

“I eat.”

“No, you don’t. I thought you were depressed or something, but that doesn’t explain the exercise. Depressed people don’t go jogging every night and to the gym every morning.”

“I just wanted to lose some weight. Gain a little muscle. It’s not a big deal.” Evan turned away again. In the glass of the window was the reflection of the enclosed life inside the train, including Kyle’s stern expression aimed at the back of his head.

Nate and Penny were watching them. He didn’t want Kyle to ask about this. Not now.

Take Me Home

71

Kyle clenched his fists in his lap under the table. He knew it.

Since the breakup six months ago, Evan hadn’t been acting like himself. He was more insecure than ever before in his life.

“What the hell did Dickhead say to you?”

“What?” Evan spun around. “Nothing.”

“That fucker.” He glanced over at Nate and Penny. “Sorry.” Nate said, “We should go.”

Penny grabbed his arm. “No way.”

Kyle didn’t care if they stayed. He and Evan were talking about this.

Looked like Evan didn’t like that option. He glared at Kyle. “Dennis didn’t say anything.

Why do you always make him sound like such a horrible person?”

“He’s not? Prove me wrong. Why all this concern about how you look?”

“Like you should talk. You spend more money on clothes, hair products, and skin care shit than anyone I know. Even my mother.”

“That’s not what—”

“God forbid you miss an opportunity to impress some guy. Who’d suck your dick every night? Couldn’t possibly be the same guy as the night before, right?”

“Oh my,” Penny said.

“We should go,” Nate said again, but neither made a move to get up.

Evan continued. “That would be so boring, wouldn’t it? So like all the hets of the world.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “’Cause getting my dick sucked by a guy is just like what straight guys do.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know what the hell you mean. What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. You’re the one asking rude questions.” Evan looked at Penny and Nate as if he just realized they were still there. He gave them a subdued smile.

Penny reached across the table and patted his hand. “There must be a reason you’re so concerned with your appearance. Sounds like it was a recent change. Talk to him.” She scooted closer to her husband, shooing him to the end of the booth. “Come on. Move. We’ll give these boys some privacy.” When Nate made no attempt to get up, she nudged him again. “Let’s go already.”

“I wanted to get a piece of that cake.”

72

Sloan Parker

She held perfectly still, her gaze locked on him until he sighed and slipped out of the booth. He waited for her to stand and then held her arm as they made their way to the other end of the dining car.

Evan didn’t face Kyle as he spoke. “I just… I think he wanted someone younger, someone…better.”

Kyle forced down the usual impulse to hold back on the touchy-feeling stuff. It didn’t take much effort. The words came more natural than breathing. “There’s no one better than you.” When Evan didn’t respond, Kyle asked, “He didn’t tell you why he broke it off?”

“Not really.”

“Did he meet someone else? Is that what this is about?”

“No. He said he needed a change. That’s all he kept saying.” Evan picked up his fork and pushed a piece of chicken back and forth across his plate.

When it seemed like he wasn’t going to stop, Kyle stilled his hand. “Talk to me.”

“You know what’s funny?” Evan set the fork down. “I was asking him to change our entire lives. I think I pushed too hard.”

“Pushed? About what?”

“I thought he was into it.” Evan shook his head as if he couldn’t say the words. “He used to say he wanted the same things.”

“Into what? What things?”

Evan looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you.” What the hell did he want?

The server came by the table and cleared the empty wineglasses and plates where Penny and Nate had been sitting. Evan made like he was going to get up. No way. Kyle was getting answers. He didn’t move to let Evan out of the booth.

“Take your time,” the server said. “There’s only two more in line. If you don’t mind, I’ll have them join you.”

“That’s fine,” Evan said before Kyle could answer.

The server gestured for the other passengers to step forward and take the seats vacated by Penny and Nate.

“Evan…”

Rebecca bounded onto the bench across the table. “Hi, you.” Her mom sat beside her.

Kyle forced himself to relax and gave a smile to Rebecca. “Hi, you.”

“Hello again,” the mom said. “I’m glad I have another chance to thank you. I’m Sasha, and this is Rebecca, as you know from my screaming earlier.” Kyle introduced himself and Evan, and Rebecca waved. He gave a smirk and waved back.

She was adorable. Probably how she got away with so much. No one could resist those wide, innocent eyes and that sweet smile. “There’s no need to thank me. I’m just glad nothing happened to her.”

“Me too. She’s quite a handful. I’m too easy on her most days, but with her dad gone—”

“Daddy’s not gone,” Rebecca said. “He’s in the army.”

Take Me Home

73

“Yes, hon.” She ran a hand over her daughter’s hair and looked back at Kyle. “He’s serving overseas.”

“That must be hard. Tell him thank you.”

Sasha nodded with a smile, and Rebecca looked up at him at the same time Evan did.

“What did Daddy do for you?” Rebecca asked.

“Not just for me. For everyone. He’s serving his country for all of us.”

“Oh.” She held up the linen napkin until the silverware wrapped inside fell to the table.

Then she rolled the napkin into a long thin log.

“Where’s he stationed?” Evan asked. It was the first time he’d spoken since Sasha and Rebecca had joined them. His voice was quiet, reserved. Different than he’d been since they’d gotten on the train. What was it he wanted? And was that the real reason he thought the two of them couldn’t take a chance together?

Rebecca set the napkin aside and hijacked the salt and pepper shakers from the end of the table. “We’re not supposed to say where he’s at.”

Sasha said, “He’s Special Forces.”

“Can I show the picture, Mommy?”

“Go ahead.”

Rebecca reached into her back pocket and tugged out a tiny photo album covered in sparkly stickers. Flowers, unicorns, and butterflies. She flipped to the first photo and pointed.

“That’s my daddy.” A young man in the standard army dress blues, close-cropped hair, a serious expression on his face, a sparkly heart sticker pasted above his right shoulder.

“Handsome,” Kyle said. “He has kind eyes.”

She pulled the picture back and stared at it like she was seeing it for the first time. “He does!”

Sasha said, “We’re going to spend Christmas with his family in Chicago. She adores her grandfather.”

Rebecca gave a last look at the picture and stuffed the album back into her pocket, then set to stacking the salt shaker on top of the pepper and using the folded napkin as a moat around the tower of spices. She talked while she worked on getting the salt to balance just right so it would stay on its own. “Grandpa used to be in the army too, so he says he knows how much Daddy misses me while he’s gone.” She gave up on the salt shaker and let it fall to the table. The napkin moat kept the salt from tipping onto its side and spilling its contents. She turned and plastered her hands to the window. Nightfall was fast approaching. “I wish we’d stop right here.”

“We cannot get off the train,” Sasha said in a tone that sounded like she’d already repeated it a thousand times in the last hour. “See how we keep moving? This train is for traveling, not for stopping to look around.”

“But I want to see those little houses.” She pointed to another cabin off in the distance, the light streaming out through its windows. “Do people live out there?”

“I’m sure they do.”

She faced her mom. “They must get bored. There’s no playground. No school. Nothing.”