TAKE ME HOME (7 page)

The words written so long ago couldn’t find a place to settle in his brain, and he couldn’t understand how they made him feel.

All he knew was they reminded him of another time in his life. A night when he’d lain side by side with someone he had watched sleep. Someone he’d wanted to wake but couldn’t bring himself to touch again. About the night he and Evan had spent in a motel room in Des Moines, Iowa.

They had called it quits to the fooling around after Kyle had freaked. He’d taken a shower, and by the time he’d finished, Evan had been asleep. There’d only been the one bed, so he’d slipped on his underwear and climbed in beside Evan. He’d forgotten the rest of that night until he’d read his grandpa’s words.

He’d spent a half hour watching Evan sleep, watching his eyes flutter with his dreams, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. He had learned every inch of Evan’s face, taking in the details—the hint of blond facial hair along his jawline, the parted, full lips, the slight wheeze through his open mouth—until Kyle finally let sleep drag him under.

It hadn’t been just about sex. Not then. Not now. He wanted to spend time hanging out with Evan, talk over dinner every night, joke around, watch TV, live together like they’d been doing for the past six months.

You’re in love with him.

Fuck.

He dropped to the bed, bouncing when his ass made contact with the mattress. “I’m in love with him.”

Take Me Home

31

He fumbled getting his phone out of his pocket. Lorrie answered on the third ring, and he said, “Goddamn you.”

She squealed. “I knew it!”

“What the hell do I do now?” He stood and paced the length of his bedroom.

Lorrie laughed. “Talk to him.”

“About what?”

“What you’re feeling.”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling, and I sure as hell don’t know what to say about it.”

“Oh, good Lord.” She sighed. “Show him, then. Show him what he means to you, and see if he responds.”

“You’re a lot of help.”

“Kyle, this is Evan. Just be honest. Don’t hide from what you’re feeling and go with it.

He’ll meet you halfway if it’s what he wants too.” When he didn’t say anything, she asked, “Can you do this?”

“I have no idea.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I…I’ve gotta go.”

“Don’t think too much.”

Not thinking sounded good. He’d take this one step at a time. Start with what he did best.

Get Evan in bed and go from there. He went to the nightstand and opened the drawer. He grabbed the lube and condoms. “Okay. I can show him.”

She laughed again. “I love you, baby brother.” Then she was gone.

He held the phone in one hand and the condoms in the other. The tension in his chest eased. He’d been doing too much worrying lately. About his writing career. About sex. About Evan. She was right. Why shouldn’t he go with what he was feeling? Give them both what they’d always desired and see where it led.

He threw the lube and condoms into his backpack. “What the hell.” He added another handful of condoms for good measure. He was tired of holding back. And from the way Evan had almost kissed him in the living room, he was too.

He heard the apartment door open, then close. He walked into the hall.

Evan stood at the other end. He was breathing hard, his body covered in a fine sheen of sweat, his blond hair slicked back as if he’d just run his hand through the moist strands.

But what stood out the most was the intense way Evan stared at him, mouth parted like in his sleep. Kyle felt naked in only his briefs, not to mention the way Evan’s gaze took in the sight of him.

He wanted to throw Evan against the wall and taste him, touch him, do everything he’d ever done with another man, but somehow do more. That probably wasn’t the best way to do this. Or maybe it was.

But if he didn’t give Evan a chance to think first like he needed to do about everything, what would happen the next morning? What would Evan expect? And what would he be able to give Evan?

That held him still. He came up with only one thing to say. “I think my grandpa had sex with another man.”

Evan took a step toward him. “What?”

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“A lawyer sent me one of his journals.”

“A journal?” Evan moved forward another step.

“It came today. Grandpa wanted me to have it. I didn’t want to read it at first. I thought it would be too hard, but…I don’t know, something told me to take a look tonight. And…” Evan searched his eyes. “What?”

“He was in bed with a guy.”

“When?”

“After he got back from the war. He was in Chicago.”

“Maybe they were sharing a room.”

“No. It was more than that. He was touching him.”

“Oh.”

“I’m, uh…kinda freaked.”

Evan shortened the distance between them, the look on his face so calm, understanding.

“Why?”

Just like Ev, always making him think. “I don’t know. I guess I should be okay with it.

Right? That’s why he sent it to me.”

“Yeah,” Evan said. “Sounds like this was before he was married.”

“Yeah. I haven’t read the rest yet.”

They were close enough now that they could reach out and touch each other. There was no missing Evan’s blue eyes focused on him.

Finally, Kyle could move again. He stepped closer. “Ev…” Take Me Home

33

Evan shivered. Which made no sense. He was still warm from the run, the sweat on his skin not even dry yet.

Kyle took another step. Evan wanted him to stop. He wanted to shout all the reasons why this had to stop, before it got started, wanted to tell Kyle not to move another inch.

He didn’t.

And Kyle didn’t stop coming at him until they were practically touching, Kyle staring down at him.

Evan tried to focus on Kyle’s words, on the news about the journal and his grandpa, but all he could think about was what he’d seen when he’d walked into the apartment: Kyle, all skin and taut muscles, wearing only his tight-as-sin white underwear, the briefs stretched over his cock, and the way Kyle had looked at him in the dim light of the hallway.

Just once. He’s leaving anyway. Evan closed his eyes and forced himself to concentrate on the conversation. He looked up at Kyle again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Kyle said the word with a slight curve of his lips. He took a step back and reclined against the wall, looking casual, like he was about to flirt with a bartender for a free drink. “After I read it, I was thinking about that night in the motel room in Iowa on our first drive out here.” He slowly swung his head in Evan’s direction. “Do you remember that night?” Evan nodded.

“Do you ever think about it?” Kyle’s voice was barely a whisper.

Up until a few months ago, Evan hadn’t let himself, but since he’d moved in with Kyle…

“Sometimes.”

“Like right now?”

“Yeah.”

Kyle slid along the wall, traveling the last remnants of space between them. “Ev, I’ve been waiting ten years to finish what we started.” He pushed off the wall and turned until they were face-to-face again, his dark eyes unflinching as he leaned in. He stopped before their lips touched. The heat of that mouth and body so close stoked the fire inside Evan.

His own body reacted, his cock pushing at his shorts. He wanted to shove Kyle against the wall and kiss him until morning, do everything he’d ever dreamed of when it came to touching Kyle, everything he ached to feel about the man.

The smile Kyle gave him next wasn’t the usual cocky one he’d used with countless guys over the years. He pressed forward and slid his lips along Evan’s skin from the base of his neck to his earlobe, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. He lingered over Evan’s ear and whispered, “You smell so damn good. I want to fuck you, Ev.” 34

Sloan Parker

Evan shivered again. “We shouldn’t…” He couldn’t say more. Didn’t want to. The time for talking was over. Kyle ran the tip of his tongue along the outside of Evan’s ear, and Evan instinctively moved closer. His breath hitched with the touch of Kyle’s bare abs against him.

Why had he worn a T-shirt to go running?

Using only the weight of his body, Kyle turned them until Evan’s back was against the hall wall, then flattened his palms to the wall on either side of Evan’s head. He licked his lips and spread his legs until their bodies lined up groin to groin, then rolled his hips, putting pressure against Evan’s cock. “God, Ev…”

With that movement, those two words, Evan groaned and let his head fall back to the wall.

He couldn’t stop himself. He rocked his hips in time with Kyle’s. The feel of Kyle’s body, his hard cock against him, drove his own arousal higher.

Kyle spoke again, his voice even lower. “It could be so fucking good.” Evan lost track of the arguments he’d been telling himself since he’d left the apartment earlier. He raised his head, and their lips met, the softest brush of flesh until Kyle opened his mouth, seized Evan by the back of the head, and slid his tongue into the touch. The kiss deepened, and Evan thought he’d never be able to stop feeling Kyle’s mouth on his, their tongues pressed together.

Kyle pushed forward with his entire body, pinning Evan against the wall. Evan wrapped his arms around Kyle’s neck and held on. The feel of Kyle’s tongue and lips was better than the dreams, better than he’d remembered. It had to be his imagination, but Kyle tasted like the frosting from earlier still lingered on his lips.

Kyle dropped his other hand from the wall and clutched Evan’s hip, then slowly slid his hand to his ass and tugged him even closer.

All Evan felt, all he tasted, was Kyle.

This was anything but casual. Nothing had ever felt like this. Out of control. Intense. So fucking right Evan wasn’t sure how he’d ever be with anyone else again.

This could not be happening.

He couldn’t fall for Kyle again. He’d end up in the same place as last time—heartbroken and longing for more than he could ever have.

They broke the kiss, both breathless, and Kyle ran his lips along the skin of Evan’s neck again, this time adding his tongue into the mix. Evan dropped his head to the wall behind him and gripped the back of Kyle’s neck, dragging his fingers up through the dark hair. Kyle explored with tongue and lips and teeth until Evan was gasping, tugging on Kyle, pulling him even closer.

God, he couldn’t get enough of him. They rocked, body thrusting against body. Another minute and Evan was going to come in his shorts. How embarrassing. But this was Kyle. He could always be himself with him.

A phone rang out from the living room. Kyle lifted his head. They stared at each other as the phone rang again.

Evan shook his head and let his arms fall to his sides. This was fucked up. “I can’t lose you.”

“God, Ev, that’s stupid. You aren’t going to lose me.”

“Stupid? You’re leaving.”

Take Me Home

35

Kyle ran a hand through Evan’s hair and gripped the back of his neck again. “I’m here.” His breath brushed over Evan’s lips as he said, “Right now. Just us.” He tugged him forward, and their mouths met again, the sweet slide of tongue over tongue. Kyle rocked his hips, rubbing their cocks against each other through the thin cloth of briefs and shorts. Evan wanted to tear off the clothes and fall to the floor with Kyle. He wanted to touch and rub and kiss and fuck until every doubt and fear melted into a moment of pleasure they’d waited too long for.

This could never be just one night of sex.

He already wanted more.

The phone rang again. Evan pulled back, but with nowhere to go, he banged his head on the wall.

Kyle slipped his fingers between Evan and the wall and cupped the back of his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” He pushed Kyle’s hand away. “I can’t do this.” Even if it would mean something to Kyle, in the end, Evan would lose him. “This isn’t just sex for me, Kyle.”

“I don’t think it is for me either. I think…maybe I can do this.” Evan searched his eyes. “Wh-what?”

“Maybe I want to try.”

“Try?” Try what? One date. Then what? He’d never heard Kyle talk like this. About anyone. It was worse than not hearing it at all. “I can’t go through that again. Not with you.”

“Through what?” Kyle asked.

“Losing someone. Losing you. It’s too big of a risk for me.”

“You mean I’m too big of a risk?” The concern vanished from Kyle’s face. A more pissed-off look replaced it.

Let him be angry. That proved Evan’s point. He shoved Kyle backward with both hands on his chest. For a moment, he hesitated, uncertain he could take one step away. He had to, though.

He turned, went into the bedroom where he’d been staying for months, and slammed the door shut, not meaning for it to sound so loud, so frustrated.

He sat on the edge of the bed. What had he done? But he could not let them fuck things up, fuck up their friendship. Kyle was his safe place. Always had been.

No matter how much he’d loved Kyle once—hell, still did love him—and no matter how much Kyle desired him, they wanted different things out of life.

Evan had understood the reasons without explanation. Kyle had watched his parents slowly settle into a lifeless marriage, watched his sister lose herself to every guy she’d ever dated, giving up all her dreams as she fell for one man after another, finally marrying the loser who’d managed to fuck up putting on a condom. Kyle Bennett had grown up thinking love and passion—or happiness, for that matter—didn’t mesh. He thought relationships killed a person’s soul, destroyed the fire inside them. The writer in him was determined not to lose the spark, the passion.

No matter what hints Evan had offered over the years that Kyle would end up alone, there was no changing his mind.

If they slept together, Evan would admit everything he felt, and Kyle would run.

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He had to focus on something else. Anything. He spotted his script on the nightstand.

There were brightly colored sticky notes stuck every which way on the loose pages, indicating the parts he thought might need reworking. He’d marked every page with at least five notes. Like that was going to help. He still couldn’t decide if he even wanted to make changes. And really, why was he bothering? The network might pull the contract before he ever got a chance to show his ideas to anyone.