Tears of Leyden (20 page)

I feel fear grip me. “Gilch?!...Nadeje…NADEJE!”

Then, it comes. “Lyra?!”              

I bolt forward then stop. “Gilch!”

A flash lights up the space before me. He must see me, for I feel something shift inside. There is a yell and another vicious crack. I feel my heart falter. There is a crumbling sound and something behind me slips out of its place in the wall.

“Move!”

I turn and see it crumbling down towards me. I scream. Then, I fall.

Chapter 22

I feel nothing and see nothing. All my senses are diminished other than hearing.

I hear everything: the shouts, the rain, the thunder, the water, the calls, the cries, even the rocks adjusting in their place. Darkness envelops me and I feel light and airy, as though I could fly, but something is holding me down. Suddenly, a pain shoots through my head and my eyes fly open into darkness. I feel a weight crushing me and pinning me to the floor.

My body aches. There is a pounding in my head and I feel close to a fever. I cannot remember where I am for a moment. Then I remember.

Nadeje.

He was here…
I let out a small groan of pain and feel a tear stream down my cheek. I feel fear grip me as I endure the throbbing in my body.
What if I am forgotten?
I close my eyes recognizing that all I see is ground and dark blurs. I try to command myself to move but I cannot; the weakness in my head and limbs is too strong.

I remain and decide that I will stay here, forget all things and let myself sink into the ground, beaten. I dream off into a world where I am alone and at peace, where I can be by myself with no one to be frightened of. Where Nadeje would come to me and I could feel him without feeling guilt or shame, without having to worry about propriety’s risk. Where I could hear him calling me with love and no hesitancy, with desperation and need.

Then, in the back of my mind I hear it, him calling me. “Lyra!”

There is a space and I feel my heart falter.

“Lyra!
God,
Lyra!”

I am back. I wake up from the dream and suddenly the weight crushing me feels more real. So does the yell.

“Lyra!”

This time, I feel a weak tug inside.
Nadeje…
I hear boots scratching over the ground, scuffling closer. Rocks are thrown aside and there is desperation in the movements.
It is not a dream.

“Lyra!” It is sob, a yell, a call, a need.

It is also real.

I am too weak to respond. Rocks slide a little away and I can hear his harsh breathing now, coming in rattling exhales. His steps are wavering, stumbling and his tension apparent.

“Lyra…” He exhales it and inhales it, my name, as though it is just as needed as the air he breathes. “Lyra…Lyra Thimlet…Orange…”

I beg him silently in my thoughts to see me. There are a few more steps. A rock moves an inch away.

“Lyra…” It is a needing breath. Then, another rock moves. “Lyra…?” It is questioning. “Lyra?” It grows sure. “Lyra!” It is a gasping assertion.

There are the sounds of rocks moving and being thrown aside. I feel a lightness come over my body as the rocks are moved. I feel the world spin around me as fresh air meets my skin. There is a shuffling thump and he is in the fallen rocks with me.

“Lyra,” it is a sob now.

Another few rocks are scooped aside, and I feel strangely exposed to nature’s elements, like I have been clothed in the rocks and now am bare. There is an awful pause again where I feel alone as the rocks continue to scratch and roll off. I feel off course from where I wish to be, but it only takes the presence of his arms holding me to be no longer lost.

“Leifde,” he breathes.

It is pained and soft, uncertain and fearful. It renders my soul.

I cannot open my eyes but I can feel him slowly bending in around me, his face hovering inches away. He delicately cradles me, careful as though I might crumble to pieces in his arms. And I might, considering that I don’t know what I look like after being crushed. His warmth fills me with a nurturing antidote, and slowly I am able to feel more conscious. I gradually recognize my head is lying on his arm, and wiggle my toes to feel that my legs lie limply along the ground. I still cannot open my eyes. I breathe calmly but cannot respond. He gingerly touches my profile, and lightly I feel him lace his fingers in my hair. I continue to breathe and be unable to speak or make any indication of feeling anything he does. His breath trembles out and his fingers brush back down to their support along my back.

“Lyra,” it is hardly audible but it is there.

I remain silent and barely conscious. He tentatively bows his neck and gently rests his face against mine. As I do not complain, after a moment of silence he softly moves his face closer and further along my outline. He gently draws me into my refuge. He lingers here a while, feeling me for any loss of breath or pulse and occasionally letting his breath out stronger than usual.

I breathe lightly against his neck and feel him above me and his warmth against me, all else seems delusional. Even he seems unclear to my mind’s adherence. I slowly feel a little better, and laying here my form begins to feel more real about me. I do not stir, but my lashes flutter lightly against his cheek. He slowly draws back and I can feel him watching me. I feel dizzy and my head hurts, but my eyes weakly open. I see only his blurred face and frame, but it still shows him I am going to be alright. He looks feverish and flushed from what I can make out, but gradually he is altered. He dives in and his face is once more against mine. “Nade…” I can’t seem to form his name properly. It doesn’t matter; he presses his face to the side of mine.

“Lyra…beloved Lyra…” He lets the words tumble out in smooth murmurs against my cheek.

I lose the strength and close my eyes. “Gilch…”

His tender skin below the jaw finds my face and I disregard my state of pain and press to him.
He exhales along my skin. I feel him relax and pull me closer. I can’t take it anymore, and despite the sharp pins and needles I scoop my arms around his neck.

“Be gentle with yourself,” he whispers softly.

I do not listen and bring him near to me, letting myself feel his closeness. He burrows in and I hang on, not willing to let him go.

“Lyra…I’m sorry…this shouldn’t have happened to you…”

I feel sick, and have to force it out in a breath. “Nadeje, I want you to take me away,” it stops him.

He feels firm against me, secure and good. “Where?” He sounds as though he would do anything.

“Just away…”

He is unsettled. “I don’t know where away is.”

I breathe slowly, trying to ignore the throbbing in my head. “I want to be with you.”

He is light against me. “I need you to be treated…where are the nearest doctors?”

I hear the sounds of thunder and lightning crackle in the sky, sending a flash against my eye lids. I feel him reposition against me, blocking out the rain.

“You will catch cold…” He whispers it in that manner of half to me, half to himself.

I feel my head spin as I tilt it one way and a sharp pain runs through my neck. I gasp at the tremor and he draws back worriedly. I see his eyes flashing in the lightening above again and let the pain drift from my face in order to not worry him. He cups my face with his hand and lightly brings his to mine. Our noses tickle each other and it is difficult not to smile or cry.

“I promise to keep you safe now,” he whispers.

I trust him.

I feel his shoulders tense and hands tighten on their hold, and without much exposure to my pain he quickly rises. In a second, he is on his feet and holding me in his arms. He pulls me flush with his body and I lean and sink into his chest, letting the breaths come long and rattling now. He buries his face along my hair and I try to keep my arms slipped around his neck, despite the rising want to disintegrate to nothing amongst the debris.

“Lyra,” he murmurs. “I need you to guide me…if you can remember where the closest cavern is we would be safe there…”

I cannot remember. I feel his closeness dawn on me and grow tingly inside despite the spinning world around me. I feel his arm wrapped around my back, and the other beneath my legs. I swallow.

“I can’t…”

He grows uneasy and lifts his face to look up at our surroundings. “I should be able to find one…”

“Nadeje,” it is soft and wanting. I do not know how I found it behind the discomfort, but a desire to stay close matches the wish to be painless.

He softens and comes back to me. “Leifde.”

I want to tell him to take me somewhere where we can be alone, of my dreams, but I am weak and know that there are more things going on around us than I have thought about in the past five minutes. So I settle with “I love you”. It is all I say, but I know he feels it deeper than the pain, and this is all that matters to me.

“I need to carry you?” It is soft and gentle, full of assurance and love back to me.

I nod lightly. He gathers me up a bit more, and still cradling me, he starts away.

The rain patters down still in a haze, yet the thunder threatens us with flashes of its companion. I watch the back of my lids for the light which illuminates the sky, and when it comes I feel strangely like something more is coming. My head still thuds lightly, but it is waned down to something in the back of my mind.

There is a creaking splash and I realize Nadeje has stopped in his tracks. My eyes open and I unbury my face from his neck to make out the scene in the distance. It is blurry at first, and the rain does not assist me in a positive manner, but there is a flash and I catch something through and over the breaks in the wall. There is the delusion of a big red piece of tarp waving in the air…no…a flag. There is an image of men working to raise the sails and I catch sight of a massive body of some sort. I recall the shape and the color of the flag and feel Nadeje’s reaction as I do mine. It is the Spanish ship.

There is another round of yells and a large smash and sprays of water. A flash lights the way, and I see a second boat to the far left, coming in. I could not see the flag. I do though, know one thing. The Spanish one was leaving.

I feel fear grip me and wait for the moment when Nadeje would tense and hesitate to stay. I feel him against me and feel his pulse through his neck against my ear. It jumps and starts running, but he remains and calmly lets it go without him.

I feel relief but remain silent, letting him feel whatever he needs to feel without me interrupting him. There is another loud splash and a creaking bang and I know the ship is having difficulties leaving its port. I try to stay still for his sake, but a chill runs through me and I shiver against him. He feels it, and his attention is redirected to me where it remains. He defensively draws me closer and cuddles me to him. I both love and regret it, the guilt of his loss undeniable. I swallow dryly and tuck my head back in the crook of his neck. Then, another splash brings him back to the ship.

I can feel something inside him slowly turning like an instinct for his home. Though, as I look up, it is not the thought which fears me, but the sight of the two ships heading off into the night and one coming in. I can’t make out anything but the dark form floating over the water. Nadeje stiffens a little as though this was not calculated by him, and as though he knows why his people left. He watches it keenly a moment, and as it continues its straight forward path, he seems to become more sure of something.

He moves his feet as though uneasy. “They’re running full speed…” He murmurs to himself. I do not understand, and my head feels worse as I try to.

“Nadeje…my head…”

He finds me at the faintness of my voice. His eyes watch me sincerely. “Where do most caverns lie?”

It is simple, but it does not register well as my head throbs.

“Nadeje, I can’t remember…”

There is a chorus of shouts far off and I see the Spanish ship sailing out as lightening surges through the dark.

He understands, but for once he does not act. “Lyra…I need you to hold on for me…” He watches me, waiting for any protest. “I need to warn your people…of…how…mph…” he seems unsure. “If I left you to rest in a warm place would you be alright?”

I feel my heart drop down to my stomach and begin to feel dizzy.
He didn’t mean…for long…why…?
I remember the Spanish ships. I feel my heart jump with disquiet
. He wouldn’t leave me…would he?

“How long?” I request.

He seems truthful. “As long as it takes.”

My head pounds. “What takes?”

He scans my face once and seems not contented with the emotion he finds. “I need to keep something from happening…I do not wish to worry you…”

I give him a pleading look. “It worries me more when I do not know if…”

There is a rumble and the sound echoes through my head what feels like ten times.

“I will be back for you in a few hours…at most.”

It is a promise.

I feel partially relieved, but my head most definitely is the opposite. “Nadeje…I don’t think…the wall…it hit…”

His face grows concerned. “You’re hurt?”

I watch him weakly as tears sting my eyes and I can only manage an indistinct nod. He sees them I know not how through the rain, but he soon has me against him and is carrying me on our path again. It takes us a minute to enter into a dryer place, but even as we do I still feel the cold bite into my ears and cause sharp pricks along my fingertips and toes. I feel exhausted and a little suffocated. I close my eyes and feel a drift coming. Then, there is another loud crash. I hear the familiar sounds of rocks tumbling down and before I can make myself believe otherwise I grip him tightly, feeling as though at any moment rocks would bury me away.