Temptation (A Temptation Novel) (28 page)

He wasn’t impressed, simply snorting and letting my arm go. Before he let me pass, he said in a steely voice, “You had better not be thinking about sneaking out again to meet Noah—I’ll be watching you.” He brought his two fingers to his eyes and back at me threateningly.

“Why do you even care, Sam?” I demanded.

“Because, Rose, someone has to keep you from destroying your life. It looks like I’ve inherited the job since Mom’s dead and Dad’s going through a midlife crisis.”

I pushed at him, and when he finally moved aside, I blasted past him and up to my room. Before I shut the door, I heard him call up the stairs, “It’s for your own good.”

That made me slam the door hard, and I didn’t even bother to change before sliding under the covers. What should I tell Noah on Tuesday? I definitely loved him, I knew that for sure, but was that love strong enough to give up everything for? And if I didn’t become Amish to be with Noah, could I live without him? Would I ever meet someone else I wanted to be with as much as him? And then, could I handle the thought of him marrying another woman or even worse, making love to her? Because that’s what would happen if I told him no; he’d be forced to pick someone else, maybe even Ella, and I’d have to stand by and watch.

I knew Noah had it tough, but not as tough as me. He’d already made up his mind, and he was just waiting for me now. An hour later, when my eyes finally blacked out, I was no closer to making a decision.

16

Noah

Waiting

THE LATE-AFTERNOON SUN
made the room stuffy. But the boredom was the worst part of my confinement. At least if I was working with the crew, I’d have distractions to keep my mind occupied, but I didn’t even have that option.

Smacking the Bible onto the bed, I leaned back against the pillow, closing my eyes. Instantly, Rose was with me. Her blue eyes sparkled and her mouth turned up playfully. The imagined look affected me as surely as if she really were there, my groin heating at the seductive smile.

Popping my eyes back open, I sighed irritably. Father thought he was reforming me by keeping the door locked and providing only a Bible for my entertainment. But he’d obviously not considered my thoughts and the daydreams that would plague me every minute—making me even more convinced that I was meant to be with Rose and no other. There wasn’t an Amish girl here or in any other state that could take her place in my heart. I loved her.

Father wouldn’t hear any of it, though. A dark shadow crept across his face each time I mentioned Rose’s name. He’d silence me with squinted eyes and his hand raised high to the ceiling. Then he’d begin reading from the Bible again.

Since the telling of the story about his own wayward romance hadn’t changed my mind about Rose, Father became angrier with me, spending what seemed like hours each day reciting passages from Scripture. His voice boomed in the small room, the words mixing together to leave my mind foggy and tired.
Exhausted
was a better way to describe my feelings.

I finally realized that the only way I’d get any peace from the man was to act as if his biblical assault was beginning to work. I began dribbling lies from my mouth to convince Father that I was becoming contrite. It came easy enough. Accepting that within days I might move to Pennsylvania to live with my grandparents and begin a new, less rebellious time in my life was hardly a thought in my mind.

Rose loved me as much as I loved her—I was certain of it. Surely, she would pick a life with me.

The rapping on the door startled me. Glancing at the pocket watch on the dresser confused me even more. Father should still be at work.

Hearing the lock jiggling, I remembered that the knock was just a formality and my mood soured instantly.

The door opened wide, revealing that it was Jacob and not Father. Seeing the frown on my big brother’s face made me realize that he wasn’t a great alternative to our uptight father for a visit.

My words reflected my surliness. “What do you want?”

Jacob let out a sigh of his own irritation and sat down on the end of the bed. He stared at me for some uncomfortable seconds before he finally spoke in a subdued voice.

“Has your confinement not changed your mind at all about the girl, Noah? Are you really willing to lose everything to chase after something that you can never have?”

I stood up in a flash, and looking down at Jacob’s wide eyes, I said, “I can have her. It can work for us—I know it can.”

Seeing Jacob softly shake his head stirred my anger even more.

“Oh, you could run away with the girl and enjoy your time together for a while maybe, but Father is right. You will not be able to hold on to her. She is from a different world than us, Noah. And you wouldn’t be happy in that world.”

I sighed, shaking my head. Why were the people in my family so deaf to my own words? I had already explained to Father and Mother that I believed Rose would join our community and live our ways. I was certain that Jacob knew this—but still, he acted as if that wasn’t even an option.

Leaning against the windowsill, I watched the black-and-white colt rear up and strike out at one of the older buggy horses in the pasture. The little rascal was attempting to get the aged horse to join in some play. The colt was unsuccessful, though, when the other horse turned its rump to him, laying its ears flat against its head. Not willing to show his defeat, the colt kicked out his hind legs and lurched into a canter across the field, scattering Rumor and Jacob’s new team of Belgians.

I smiled. The colt was another reminder of Rose.

When I turned back to Jacob, I felt calmer. I caught the slight rise of Jacob’s eyebrow when I spoke with controlled smoothness of my voice. “It really is no concern of yours, brother. You have your own life to live—so leave me to mine.”

“You really do love this girl, don’t you?” He ran his hands through his hair and slouched down on the bed in defeat. “I thought that you were just being stubborn, not wanting Father telling you what to do…but the look on your face says differently.”

His eyes rose and met mine. “What will you do, Noah, if she is not willing to convert? Will you leave us to be with her?”

The anxious look in Jacob’s eyes and the crack in his voice affected me more than I cared to admit, even to myself. The thought of leaving my family, friends and community was not something that I
wanted
to do. But the difference between leaving all of them was that I would survive it.

I couldn’t live without Rose in my life.

“I don’t think I’ll have to make that decision, Jacob.”

He stared at me. The sympathy shining from his eyes told me that he didn’t agree.

He rose from the bed and in two strides reached me at the window. Jacob slapped his arms around me awkwardly for a few seconds before he broke away and headed for the door.

“I’ll be praying that it works out for you. And if you need to talk, just let me know. I’m here for you, Noah—we all are.”

He didn’t wait for me to answer; his hand was on the door and he was through. A second later the jiggling of the lock could be heard again.

If he was really on my side, he’d have left the door unlocked, my mind said, but my heart knew better. Jacob was just following orders—the way I probably would have done if the tables were turned.

I settled back onto the bed remembering the expression of sympathy on my brother’s face. What if he was right about Rose?

No. She would pick me. She had to.

17

Rose

Family Ties

I PEERED INTO
the family room to see Dad sitting on his comfy chair with a pile of papers strewn on the floor beside him and his laptop open and resting against his knees. The sound was lowered, but the
pop, pops
of gunshots could still be heard coming from the TV, as Justin sat before it, an Xbox control nimbly between his fingers.

They were both so ridiculously oblivious to the drama in my life that if I weren’t so torn apart inside, the scene would have made me laugh. If Sam had been occupying the couch, I would have gone back to my room, but since he was off somewhere with his new buddies, I stepped softly through the doorway, seating myself in the chair in the corner.

Several minutes passed. I stared alternately between Dad and Justin, watching how engrossed each was in their technology, completely unaware of my presence. Agitation pricked at me until the sensation began to feel like needles poking sharply into my skin. I cleared my throat loudly—twice—before Dad’s head rose.

The lift of his eyebrows and the patient smile that spread on his lips as he shut his laptop and focused on me completely told me that he was all too happy to accept the obvious flapping of my white flag.
Truce—
the word left a sour taste in my mouth, but it was proving difficult to completely ignore the man who’d fathered me. At some point I’d have to talk to him about something, so why not start now? Besides, it wasn’t as if I was forgiving him. I was only trying to make my life a little less difficult.

But as I gazed over at Justin, who never did look up from his game, I wondered exactly what I should say to Dad. He was pretty perceptive and I certainly didn’t want him knowing about Noah’s request for me to become Amish so that we could be together. It would not be good for him to have any idea that I was even contemplating it. Heck, at this point, I didn’t know myself what I was going to do.

Dad’s voice spread the fog that had been pressing on my mind. “I’d like to take you and Sam to the high school next week to tour the facility and speak with a guidance counselor about your classes for the fall semester.” He added with a more careful tone to his voice, “How does that sound, Rosie?”

Facility?
I was sure that word didn’t apply to the little country school I’d be attending, and I held in a snort. It wouldn’t help the conversation if I was rude. And if I decided to become Amish, I might never even see the inside of the high school anyway.

“Hmm?” The rolling trill coming from Dad’s throat lifted my eyes to him.

“I, ah…yeah, that’s sounds fine,” I stammered out.

“Good. I’ll make a call this afternoon and get the ball rolling.” The excitement in his voice seemed to bounce off the walls and I suddenly felt guilty—something I wasn’t used to.

I shook off the coolness that had swept through me and said, “Dad, why do you think the Amish people live the way they do?”

Dad didn’t take much time to think about what probably seemed like a random question, replying, “Well, I believe a part of it is that they truly enjoy a simpler lifestyle. Even I can understand the attraction of not having a cell phone constantly vibrating in your pocket, or being bombarded by the distractions of the TV and computers taking away the little time we have to spend with our loved ones.”

I nodded, wanting to get past the obvious. “Yeah, but what’s the other part?”

Dad sighed and I leaned in closer, knowing that he was about to get to the heart of the matter.

“It seems to me that if you’re raised in such a community with a lack of opportunity for education or meeting people from the outside, you’d be hard-pressed to escape the lifestyle once born into it.”

“Escape? You make it sound like it’s a terrible thing or something,” I retorted, bristling at his words and not really understanding why.

“Knowledge is the most powerful and freeing thing in the world, Rosie. Think about it—if everyone were Old Order Amish, then there wouldn’t be any doctors, engineers or scientists. On a very basic level, a person’s quality of life would diminish greatly.”

Before I had the chance to interrupt, he pressed on with more enthusiasm. “For instance, in the nineteenth century it was common to have large families since there was a strong likelihood that some of the children wouldn’t grow to adulthood, and there was so much labor involved in just surviving that it made sense to have ten kids. Now, however, the Amish are still having nine, ten, even a dozen babies, but they’re all surviving to adulthood.”

“Ah, so—why does that matter?”

“Well, that’s one of the reasons that their numbers are growing so rapidly, but the point that I’m trying to make is that even though these people might think that they’re living their lives away from the technology that they so adamantly spurn, in actuality, they are benefiting from it on a daily basis. They can’t truly escape the modern world.”

“But why do you think that they are so strict about everything, having all those rules?” I asked, getting closer to all my worries.

“For control—plain and simple. In order to make the society work, the group of people involved must adhere to a set of rules or the community breaks down. The children are conditioned at a very young age to follow the rules and be obedient to the ideas that the community has agreed to. From what I’ve heard, if a youngster were to question the authority and become rebellious, the elders would remove him or her from the church by the act of shunning.”

Just the sound of the word
shunning
caused my body to tense.

“What exactly does that mean, Dad?” I asked, although I already had a strong notion about it.

“I don’t know the particulars, but I surmise that when a person is shunned, he’s forbidden from involvement with the church members and his family ever again.”

I regretted the rise in my voice but couldn’t help it when I blurted out, “His family? A person who’s shunned can never see his family?”

“Oh, I don’t know how far it goes, but I have the understanding that family members have very limited contact with a shunned person.” Dad paused, and as if a lightbulb popped on in his head, his eyes narrowed slightly and he stared at me.

“Why all the interest in the Amish punishment system, Rosie?”

I slowed my breathing and took a small breath. Dad would have to wait until I made my decision. He couldn’t find out now about my real curiosity in this culture…not yet. I’d be the one shipped off, probably to Cincinnati, if he discovered what was going on between me and Noah.

When I glanced back at him, my heart skipped a beat. He was focused on me like a bird of prey on a mouse scurrying in the grass. Dad knew something was up.

Frantically, I searched my mind for a believable comeback, when amazingly Justin came out of his gamer haze and saved me.

“Do you have any batteries, Rose? My remote’s dry,” Justin said with just a slight hint of a smile that Dad couldn’t see.

I bounded off the chair. “Yeah, sure—they’re up in my room.”

Justin joined me at the doorway, but before I got a foot across the threshold, Dad said, “I’d like to continue our discussion later, Rosie.”

I slowed just enough to look over my shoulder and say, “Oh…all right. Later, okay?”

Dad sighed. He wouldn’t push me too hard. Not so soon after the whole “getting caught with a strange woman in the house” thing.

“That’ll be fine.”

Justin stayed on my heels until we were safely behind my closed bedroom door. When the latch clicked, I leaned against the heavy wood, blowing the air out in relief.

“Brilliant, Justin. That was perfect timing.” I swept a few stray hairs away from my eyes and watched my little brother settle onto the end of my bed. When he looked up, I said softly, “Thanks.”

He shrugged. “No problem. Maybe you can pay the favor back sometime?”

“Sure, anytime.”

“So, why were you asking Dad all those dumb questions about those people anyway?” Justin tilted his head. At that instant, he looked a whole lot like Sam, and I had to hold in an obnoxious reply, telling myself that he wasn’t the nosy brother.

“I didn’t think you were even paying attention.”

“Hah. You all underestimate me. I’m always paying attention.” The left side of his mouth raised and his eyes twinkled.

Hmm, Justin may turn out to be more trouble than Sam someday.

“What, is it some gamer thing to be able to split your attention between things?” I said, crossing the room and dropping down onto the bed beside him.

“Yep, but don’t change the subject. You know, I’m not a little kid anymore. You can tell me what’s going on.”

I studied Justin’s face, seeing that what he said was true—he wasn’t little anymore. And he’d always been more easygoing about things than Sam was. Maybe I could trust him…

“You can’t breathe a word of this to anyone—definitely not Sam. Do I have your word?”

He silently crossed his hand over his heart.

“Okay, then.” I stared at the door while I said, “Noah wants me to become Amish so that we can be together. He doesn’t think he can make it in our world—that his is a better place for us to be a family.”

I glanced at him to see his eyes widen for a second, followed by a snorting sound that was very uncharacteristic of my little brother.

When he recovered, he said, “What are you going to do?”

The tears welled in my eyes and I sniffed them back in, wiping the wetness away with my hand. The fact that Justin hadn’t said a word about how crazy the whole thing was or try to tell me what I should do touched my soul. He would never judge me harshly. Justin would love me no matter what decision I made.

And suddenly that fact made my choice even more difficult. Could I really live without my own family?

“I don’t know what to do, Justin. I just don’t know.” I leaned my head against his shoulder, letting the drops of moisture from my eyes wet his shirt. He patted my knee, but otherwise said nothing at all.

He didn’t need to speak. Just being there was enough. I was the one whose life would forever be changed by whatever path I took.

And neither one would be easy.