Tempting Rowan (Trace + Olivia #3) (17 page)

“I already know,” I gasped, my hips lifting to meet his.

“Good,” his lips crashed against mine, drawing a long moan from me.

His lips left mine, as he trailed kisses down my body, his mouth closing over my breast. His hands still clasped in mine as he continued to slowly rock into my body, my legs falling open.

Wha
t I saw in his expression scared and exhilarated me all at the same time.

“I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for this,” Trenton confessed, his lips brushing against mine. “Please, don’t run from me this time.”

In that moment he was so…vulnerable, and vulnerable certainly wasn’t one of the words that came to mind when you thought of Trent.

I didn’t say anything, because I wasn’t sure that I
could
make that promise.

I tilted my head up and kissed him, hoping that would suffice.

He kissed me back, his tongue brushing my open lips before caressing my tongue.

He released my hands and they skimmed down my body, making me shiver.
His thumb found my clit and I clenched around him. “Trent,” I gasped, clawing at his back like a wild animal.

His eyes were dark with pleasure as he watched me. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

A blush dotted my chest, running up my neck, and over my cheeks.

“Your hair fanned out around you like this,” he picked up a long strand, “the
desire in your eyes, and those kissable lips,” his thumb brushed over my bottom lip and slightly into my open my mouth. “I never want to let you leave.”

He shut up then, kissing me deeply, as his thumb found that special spot again. I gasped beneath him, my hips jerking. “Trent, I’m gonna—” My words ended on a gasp, and my arms wrapped around him, holding him tight like I was scared I might float away and he was the only thing keeping me anchored.
My muscles were coiled tight, but I’d also never felt so relaxed.

Trent pumped into me a few more times and then his release stole over him.

He kissed me deeply, sucking on my bottom lip. He released it with a pop and rolled over.

I didn’t think I could move, but I didn’t want to either.

I closed my eyes, fighting a smile. That had been…amazing. I hadn’t expected him to be so sweet and tender. I should’ve known though, it was Trent after all…it wasn’t like him to be rough, although something told me he could be when he wanted to, and that excited me.

The bed creaked and I knew Trent had gotten up. It dipped again a minute later, and he pulled me against his body. With his other hand he pulled the covers up over us.

He brushed my hair away from my neck, pressing kisses to the area where my neck met my shoulders.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered so low I was sure he couldn’t have heard it.

“Why do you say that?”

All of my lies
clung to me like a dirty, sinful, second skin that wouldn’t wash away no matter how hard I tried.

Trent
couldn’t see it, but once he did he’d never look at me the same.

I had
lived this lie for so long that it felt like the truth.

It
wasn’t though.

And
once it was out in the open, none of our lives would ever be the same.

“No reason,” I finally said, letting his warmth wash over me. “You’re just too good for me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said, his lips gliding over my shoulder. “You’re unable to see the goodness that resides right here,” he placed his hand over my heart and it sped up at his touch, “you’re one of the kindest, most giving people I know. I wish you could see that. Until you do, I’ll have to remind you every single day,” his words were punctuated by light kisses to my arm.

“I should go,” I mumbled, trying to pull out of his arms.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he tightened his hold. “You’re staying right here until the last possible second.”

I closed my eyes, clasping my hands under my head. “You’re bossy, you know that right?”

“Not bossy,” he snuggled close, burying his head into the curve of my neck, his breath tickling my skin pleasantly. “I just know what I want.”

I rolled over, so we were face to face. I lightly traced my finger over his cheek and around his lips. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but when I opened my mouth no sound came out.

He tucked my head under his chin and I decided that it wasn’t time to say any of those things. Unfortunately, there probably never would be a good time.

c
hapter eleven

I
closed the door to the library and eyed the stack of books I still had to put away. I’d been unusually slow working today, my mind distracted with a million and one thoughts. I hadn’t seen Trenton in three days. We’d talked on the phone and texted, but the kids Christmas break had started and it made it nearly impossible to get away. I didn’t want to leave them home with my mom if I didn’t have to, and I couldn’t bug Colleen every day.

I hated to admit it, but I missed him. Damn Wentworth. He was impossible not to succumb to. He was just so…Trent.

I changed into my favorite loose gray sweater and jeans, before I grabbed the cart of books and began putting them away. Since we were on break, I obviously wouldn’t be staying to work on homework, but I had hoped to get some personal reading time in. It didn’t look like that would happen now.

I hummed a song I’d heard on the radio this morning, inserting a word here and there.

Somebody laughing had me jumping out of my skin. Everyone was supposed to be gone and I hadn’t heard anyone approach.

I turned sharply, a book clutched to my chest in case I needed to use one of the sharp edges as a weapon.

“Trent,” I gasped, unable to hide my smile. I rarely smiled, but Trent seemed to always be able to make me happy. “How’d you get in here?”

“Some idiot left the door unlocked,” he eyed me.

“Shit,” I cursed. “I normally lock it. I forgot,” I shrugged, still holding tightly onto the book for some reason.

“I was planning to text you to let me in, but since the door was conveniently left unlocked,” he stalked towards me, lowering his head, “there was no need.” His lips brushed against my jaw. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you,” he placed a hand against my neck and grinned crookedly when he felt my pulse jump.

“So…you thought you’d just stop by?” My fingers grasped his leather jacket, drawing him closer.

“Mhmm,” he nodded, his eyes hooded.

“To talk…?”

“I just wanted to see you,” he said huskily, his breath tickling my neck.
“But now that I’m here,” his fingers dug into my hips, “I want to do a whole lot more.”

My heart skipped a beat. “You mean—”

He didn’t wait for me to finish. He claimed my lips with his, asserting his dominance and control. He lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, and he braced one of his hands against the bookshelf my back was pressed against. It certainly wasn’t the most comfortable position, but it was hot as hell, and frankly I didn’t care. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

“I want to take you right here,” he growled, nibbling on my earlobe.

“Do it,” I pleaded, desire filling my body at his words.

He didn’t have to be told twice.

He had us undressed in under a minute and put a condom on. My body was already buzzing with want and need. He lifted me up again and I sank down on him, both of us moaning in response.

I took his face between my hands and lowered my mouth to his. I never would’ve thought I’d be into something like this, but the spontaneity had me feeling like this was pretty damn hot. For once, I wasn’t thinking. I was letting myself go and doing what I wanted, not what I felt like I should do.

Being in Trent’s arms felt so good—better than I wanted it to.

I had been trying so hard to guard my heart all these years, but there was nothing I could do to prevent Trenton from staking claim. I belonged to him.

He pressed my back against the shelves and the books began to rattle. I might have laughed if I hadn’t been enjoying myself so much.

This was definitely…rougher, than the other day, but with Trent there was always an underlying sweetness.

He sped up his thrusts and—“Oh my God!” My head fell back as a soft cry escaped me. “Trent!”

Trent watched me with lust filled eyes, smiling at what he was doing to me.

“I like it when you scream my name,” he whispered, lightly biting my neck before placing a kiss there. “You have no idea what seeing you like this does to me.” His eyes were dilated, only a thin ring of blue showing.

“I think I have some idea.” My voice was b
reathless as I wiggled my hips, my fingers finding the soft strands of his hair.

“Oh, fuck, you feel so good,” Trent gasped, his hands on my hi
ps as he guided me up and down. My eyes closed as I let myself succumb to the pleasure coursing through my veins.

Trenton
holding me like this, it was like he filled every part of me, and our eyes rarely strayed from each other’s—creating an intimate bubble.

He grasped my thighs in his hands, and said, “Hold on.”

I held on tightly to his muscular shoulders as he started carrying me, and I soon found myself lying on a table. The wood was cool and my sweat dampened skin wanted to stick to it.

Trent pushed into me and I gasped, my nails digging into his arms.

“Did I hurt you?” He stilled.

I shook my head. “No, it feels really good. Do it again.”

He did, and my back arched off the table as he reached down and took my breasts in his hands. “You have no idea how happy it makes me that this,” he stared at my body, “hasn’t been seen by anyone but me.”

I didn’t answer, because I didn’t have anything to say except,
you own me,
and there was no way I was saying that out loud.

“I never want anyone else to see you like this, spread out beneath them,” he continued. “I want you to belong to me and only me,” he growled, lowering his lips to mine as he staked his claim. He didn’t need to though. I had been his from the moment I met him. There were too many other circumstances standing in our way, keeping us from a happy life together. I had made so many mistakes and my regrets continued
to pile up, slowly suffocating me from the inside out.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, gazing down at me with a puzzled expression. “You look upset.”

I shook my head, reaching up so my fingers wrapped around the back of his neck.

“Rowan…” He pressed.

“Make me forget,” I whispered in his ear.

“Forget what?” He questioned, looking at me worriedly.

“Everything.”




Trent had definitely been able to make me forget. After the table, we’d sunk to the floor and started the whole process over again.

Now, we lay spread out on the floor, still naked, and my body was wrapped around his. I never wanted to move, because once I did I’d have to return to my messed up life.

His lips pressed against my forehead. “I have something I want to ask you…and please, don’t get mad, hear me out.”

“Okay…” I ventured hesitantly. “Usually when someone says ‘don’t get mad’ it’s because you’re going to get mad.”

He swallowed thickly, looking up at the ceiling of the library. “Come to New York with me.”

I was not expecting
that
to come out of his mouth.

“Trent, you know—”

“I know, you have to look after your siblings. But can’t you find someone else for a week? We could go over Christmas,” he tucked my hair behind my ear, “and return in time to go to my family’s annual New Year’s Eve party, then I would reluctantly take you home,” he chuckled.

I bit my lip, chewing on it nervously. Since I’d been able to drive, I’d been taking the kid’s to our grandma’s and spending a few days to a week there for the holidays. That’s what I had been planning to do this year, but…I could always drop them off and go with Trent. I knew they’d be in good hands with her. I wouldn’t have to worry, and I could enjoy myself. I deserved to do something for myself, right?

“I…I need to think about it,” I whispered, tracing my finger along his chest and down his abs.

“Well,” he sighed, “thinking about it is certainly better than a flat out no.”

I really did want to do it—even though the thought of being alone with Trent for a full week scared me. I knew that winter break would end soon and he’d be gone for a while. His University was only two hours away, but when you have classes and homework, it could be hard to find time to visit. I certainly didn’t want to be one of those clingy girls begging him to come home every weekend. I would miss him though, and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could.

“Why New York?” I asked, truly curious.

“We have a place in the city, and it’s spectacular this time of the year. Plus, I’d like to spend more time with you, and New York City seemed like a good place. We’re far enough away that you can relax and enjoy yourself without worrying about your brother and sister, but close enough to get back quickly if we need to.”

“You’ve really thought this through.” I glanced up at him as he twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.

He nodded with a grin. “I understand if you can’t…or even if you don’t want to.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to,” I sat up a bit to look at him, my hair falling forward to conceal my breasts. “I need to think about it though…okay?”

“Take your time, but if we’re going to do this, we leave in four days,” he held up four fingers like I couldn’t count.

My heart was already beating wildly at the thought of spending a whole week alone with Trenton. I wasn’t sure it was the best thing for us—at this point, I didn’t want to let myself get anymore…
attached—but if I didn’t go, I’d always wonder what might have happened.

“I need to see if my grandparent’s are okay with keeping Tristan and Ivy that long. The three of us normally spend Christmas with them, and come home a few days before New Year’s,” my eyes studied the unique tattoo on his arm, “so they’d need to keep them longer than normal…”

“Don’t be worried about disappointing me,” he reached up, cupping my cheek.

“I want to go,” I assured him, putting my hand overtop his.

“If you can’t go, maybe…maybe you’d come over to my family’s place, and bring your siblings?” He suggested, biting on his lip, and giving me a look that didn’t have me thinking about what he just said.

I lowered my head and pressed my lips to his. His fingers tangled in my hair as he kissed me back.

“What was that for?” He asked, panting slightly.

“You looked so kissable that I couldn’t resist,” I admitted, looking down shyly. I wasn’t one to spout my feelings or to admit to such things.

“I like this side of you,” Trent remarked, watching me steadily.

“What side?” I questioned with a raised brow.

“The free one,” his thumb rubbed over my bottom lip. “You’re always so closed off, but lately you’ve been opening up more…laughing, smiling, being…free,” he repeated.

“I’ve been through a lot,” I whispered, shame causing me to look down at the carpeted floor.

“I know you have,” he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him, “and I hope one day, you’ll trust me enough to tell me everything. Until then, I won’t push you, but I will be here for you. I will
always
be here.”

I closed my eyes, wishing his words were true. I knew he meant them, in this moment at least, but
if he knew the truth of what I had done he’d leave and never come back.




I finished cleaning up from breakfast and ran around trying to get ready. Before she left last night, Mary had offered me more hours today. More hours meant more money, and I needed all the money I could get.

I pulled on a red button down jacket to brighten up my black skirt and white top. I opened the door to the kids’ room and kissed them on top of their heads. “I have to go in to work, but I’ll be home early today. Be good.”

Tristan clung to my neck. “Don’t go, Row.”

“I have to,” I told him, unwinding his arms from their stranglehold. At Tristan’s age he couldn’t understand that I was doing this for him, for
them
, in the hopes of giving them a better life. I was doing the best I could, but most times it seemed like I wasn’t trying at all.

I kissed his small hand and ruffled his hair. “I’ll be home before you know it.”

His sad face made it hard to push myself out the door but I had to.

Outside, the cold air whipped around me, blowing my hair in my face. I pushed the strands away and got in my car, rubbing my hands together for warmth as I waited for heat to pour into the frigid vehicle.

I backed out of the driveway, wondering where my step-dad was. He was gone more and more lately, and I was sure yet another divorce was in my mom’s future.

I parked and hurried into the library, ready to be out of the cold.

I was headed to clock-in when Mary called out for me. “Yes?” I turned, searching for the older woman.

When I spotted her
she crooked her finger, motioning me to her.

“Yeah?” I asked, when I stopped in front of her.

The way she was looking at me had me breaking out in a nervous sweat. “Honey, I have some bad news,” she patted my arm. It was obvious she didn’t want to continue to speak further, but had to. “We have to let you go.”