Tending Their SECRET (9 page)

“Ellie,” I whisper when I can speak normally
again.

“Aiden,” she whispers back, teasing me as
she tries to catch her breath, too. Blowing someone while doing
push-ups can’t be easy. It’s definitely one of the hottest things
I’ve ever experienced, though.

“I’m the luckiest man alive.”

“Yes, you are. I’m the
luckiest
woman
alive, though, so we’re even.”

“Do we have time to eat?”

“Yep. We’re very good at what we do.”

“That we are.”

She pulls out the finger foods she got from
Audrey and spreads them out on the desk. I start to pull her onto
my lap in her desk chair, but freeze. She puts my hands back on her
hips and sinks down onto me. “This is good, Aid.”

“Yeah, it really is.”

Ellie

I float on a cloud of euphoria for the rest
of my shift. How could I not after Aiden gave me three amazing
orgasms—with just his mouth, like I needed him to. We close up, and
I dance around a little to the music playing as I check on
everyone. Leave it to Jade to call me out on it once everyone but
the four of us are gone.

“So I guess you fucked and made up
then?”

“We didn’t fuck,” I tell her.

“Well you definitely got some.”

“If by ‘some’ you mean three earth
shattering orgasms, then yes. I did get those.”

“Three? You were only in there for half an
hour.”

“I also took care of him, and we ate too.
Aiden’s very, very talented with his mouth.”

“So is Nate. But, damn.”

“I know.”

“It was okay? I mean, you’re okay?”

I stop dancing in place and
look at my best friend so she knows I’m being serious. “I’m better
than fine, and it was wonderful. He did things just the way I
needed him to. I know it can’t be easy for him to hold back.
You
know it’s not easy,
but he’s willing to stick it out with me.”

“I’m not going to lie to
you, because we don’t do that with each other. It
is
hard to have to watch
what you do, and remember not to touch someone. With me and Nate it
wasn’t long, because he understood that I saw him as more than a
body, and so he let me touch him. Aiden loves you, El. You’re way
more than a body to him, too, and he’s going to wait for you to be
ready.”

“What if I’m not, though? What if I’ll never
be ready? I’m not as strong as Nate.”

“Bullshit. The guys don’t call you ‘Brass’
for nothing. What happened to Nate was years before we met. I won’t
say that made it easier, but I guess it was. I don’t know. We don’t
talk about the why—I just know that he feels comfortable with me in
a way he never has with anyone else.”

“I know Aiden will never hurt me. But what I
did…what I let those men do. I-I…”

I can’t tell Jade the whole
truth. I’m too ashamed to even tell my best friend. She wouldn’t
judge me. I
know
she wouldn’t. But I still can’t force the words out. How am I
ever going to get better if I can’t tell her or Aiden what
happened?

“It’s alright, El. I don’t need to
know.”

“You want to know.”

“Honestly, yes. But only so I can try and
help you. You’ll tell me when you’re ready, or you never will.”

“Nate can tell you. I’ll talk to him, and he
can tell you. I-I can’t. The words won’t come out of my mouth, but
I want you to know.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Are you going to have him tell Aiden,
too?”

“No. I have to be the one to tell Aiden. I
don’t know how I’ll ever be able to, but it has to be me.”

“I’m going to say this again—he loves you.
He’ll understand.”

“I know.”

I
do
know. Aiden won’t stop loving me,
but he may never look at me the same. Can I handle that? I don’t
know. But I do know that in order for us to have any type of
future, I need to tell him. Soon.

“You two look pretty serious over here,”
Nate says, coming up to wrap his arms around Jade. I can tell that
Aiden wants to do the same to me, but he settles for resting his
hands on my hips and kissing my cheek.

“We were talking about what a mess I
am.”

“You’re not a mess, Doll.”

“I am.”

“Ellie,” Nate warns. “You know I don’t want
to hear you saying that shit.”

“Even if it’s true? Because if I wasn’t a
mess, Aiden could’ve wrapped his arms around me the same way you
just did to Jade.”

“I’m fine, El. I promise.”

“You’re fine with having to stop yourself
from reaching for me? Or playing around with me?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve seen you, Aiden. I’ve seen you start
to reach for me. In tender moments, and when you’re just messing
around. Your face…it looks so pained when you realize that you
can’t touch me. Or you think you can’t, and don’t want to ask.
That’s not fine.”

I’m nearly hysterical, and we all realize
it. “Take some deep breaths. Please. Just breathe, Doll. I’ll admit
it’s hard, okay? But I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. It
won’t always be this hard for either of us. Or if it is, then we’ll
just deal with it.”

“I don’t want you to have
to ‘deal’ with me. I want you to hold me, and make love to me, and
fuck me like you used to. Like you want to. Like
I
want you to. But I
can’t let you do that. I
can’t
.”

I turn and wrap my arms around him, pulling
him close. He just stands there for a moment, and I know he’s
trying to figure out where to put his hands. “Hold me. Please just
hold me,” I tell him.

His arms immediately go around my shoulders,
pulling me even closer. He crosses his arms over my back and rubs
my shoulder blades as I sob into his chest. He kisses my hair and
whispers how much he loves me, over and over again. It’s only a
couple of minutes, but it feels like hours, when he moves back and
uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

“Do you want me to take you home now?”

He’s not whispering, and I know without
looking that my friends have moved away to give us some privacy.
They know pretty much everything there is to know about the two of
us, but I appreciate them backing off.

“No. I want to hang out with our friends and
pretend that we’re just a normal couple for a little while. Then I
want you to take me home and use that talented tongue of yours on
me again while I suck you dry.”

He groans into my ear. “You really are
trying to kill me. Or at least keep me hard 24 hours a day.”

“We could order a car to take us to the
restaurant. Nate could take your car.”

“Because that wouldn’t be obvious.”

“Do you really care?”

“Normally, no. But you deserve more than the
back of a town car. It’s important for me to show you that.”

“You show me how special I am every time
we’re together.”

“Except for yesterday. And two months
ago.”

I take his face in my hands and force him to
look at me. “The past is just that. The past. I told you I want to
focus on our future together. Nothing else matters.”

He nods, but I know he doesn’t totally
believe me. If I could tell him what I know, his conscience would
be clear about what happened to me. Or at least clearer than it is
now. But, if I tell him, he’ll never accept my help. Or anyone
else’s. It’s not in his nature. He has to save everyone else, while
not letting himself be vulnerable enough to ask for help, or even
just accept it.

I know that I’m taking a big chance. We all
are. He’ll eventually have to know, and when he does, we’ll be
lucky if he still talks to us. And I’ll be lucky if he still wants
to be with me. I can’t regret what I’m doing, though. Saving him is
more important than keeping him. It has to be.

* * *

Aiden

Sitting here in a small
Ethiopian restaurant, next to the woman I love, and surrounded by
some of our best friends, I really do feel almost normal. Isa,
Jake, and Faith are here with us, as well as Nate and Jade. We’re
all laughing and joking with each other like the last few months
never happened. That’s how it is with good friends, you can just
pick up where you left off and it’s like no time has passed. That
thought makes me think of Andy, and how I really did try to keep
our friendship alive. I didn’t want to lose him as a friend, but he
just never
wanted
to fit in with my friends. He didn’t
like
that I had other friends. That’s
his problem, and not mine. I tried to be his friend, and I’ll still
keep trying, because my dad loves him.

“Why are you looking like you lost your best
friend?” Ellie whispers to me.

“Because I did.”

“Andres?”

“Yeah.”

“You told me you tried to stay in
touch.”

“I did. He was just…possessive of me.”

“Possessive? Like he wanted you?”

“No,” I shake my head with a smile. “He was
a bigger pussy chaser than Matt, Nate, and I put together. I was
honestly shocked when he got with my dad. I meant that he was
possessive as far as wanting me to have no other friends but
him.”

“Wait, he seriously never even seemed
interested in other guys in all the years you knew him?”

“No, but you have to remember that I hadn’t
seen him for years, either. I guess he got curious.”

“Yeah. I guess. It bothers you, doesn’t
it?”

“That he’s with my dad? Yeah, but not
because they’re both dudes. It’s just weird that one of my friends
is with my dad.”

“I can see that.”

“Are you having fun,” I ask, moving away
from that awkward subject.

“Yes,” She says, snuggling under my arm.

“Isn’t this cozy,” Dave says, coming up to
our table. I hadn’t even seen him in the restaurant.

“Yes. It is,” I tell him, and don’t even try
to keep the sneer off of my face. I don’t like him, and I won’t
pretend that I do. Even for my dad.

“I would expect the great Aiden Ford to be
dining somewhere fancier.”

“You really need to knock that shit off. I
am the least pretentious person I know. Just because I was born
rich, doesn’t mean I flaunt it, or even care about it. I don’t take
money from my parents, and I haven’t since I was old enough to
work.”

“A man of the little people.”

Nate is out of his chair before I can get
out of mine. “Back off asshole.”

“Sending your muscle after me? Nice.” Dave
says with a smirk. But he does back up a few steps.

“I don’t take anything from my parents,
either, but my mom would do anything for me. Including making sure
you lose all favor in this town. So why don’t you just run along,
and let us enjoy our dinner,” Jake says, looking him in the eye
with his own smirk on his face.

“The greater they are, the harder they fall.
Just remember that,” he says, holding up his hands as he walks
away.

“What the hell did you do to that guy?”
Faith asks.

I shrug. “Woke up breathing today?”

“He’s always been a little asshole, but he
does seem to have a special hard-on for you,” Jake says. “Be
careful.”

“I’m not afraid of him.”

“Never underestimate an enemy. You know
that, Aid,” Nate tells me.

I nod. He’s right. I don’t know who it is
that’s trying to frame me, and I can’t rule anyone out. Everyone
who I’ve ever come into contact with has to be treated as a
potential threat. Even the ones who I see as nothing more than an
annoyance.

The rest of the evening—or I should say
early morning, since it’s after midnight—is a blast. I didn’t
realize how much I missed just hanging out with everyone. Even when
I was just dropping in and out of Vegas, I always knew I had
friends to hang out with and an exceptional woman to go home with
every night. These past two months, I was surrounded by people who
would’ve hung out with me—and women who would’ve slept with me—but
not a single one of them interested me. Because no one can compare
to my friends, and no other woman is Ellie. I told her I was lucky,
and I meant it.

Aiden

I follow Ellie into her apartment, waiting
to see what she has in mind for us tonight. If it’s more of the
same from earlier, I’ll be very happy. If it’s even more, then hell
yeah, I’m on board with that, too. She stands in front of me
looking at her feet, which are moving back and forth. Her hands are
pulling at her jacket, and I reach out to stop them.

“This is me. You never need to feel nervous
around me.”

“I-I know. I’m not nervous. Just
embarrassed.”

“About what? Again, this is me.”

She looks up at me, then, and her eyes are
wet. My heart breaks a little, and I pull her closer so that our
foreheads are touching. “I thought I could do more, but I don’t
think I can.”

“More than what we did, or more of the same?
Either way, it’s totally okay. I just need to know.”

“More than what we did. I want more of the
same, but that’s not fair to you.”

“How is you sucking my cock not fair to
me?”

“You shouldn’t have to just go down on
me.”

I throw back my head and laugh. “’Have to’
is not a phrase I would ever use when describing my mouth between
your legs. Well, maybe I would, but more in the ‘I have to have my
mouth between your legs again or I’m going to die hungry’ kind of
way.”

“You’re sure?”

“How many times did I make you come that way
earlier?”

“Three.”

“I tried for four, but yes,
three. I would’ve stopped at one if I didn’t want to be doing it.
I
have
stopped at
one with other women, but I never have with you, have
I?”