That McCloud Woman (14 page)

But
Alayna didn't hear the question. She was staring out the kitchen window, her
thoughts on Jack back at the house, and remembering the angry look on his face
when he'd ripped her sleeve from her shirt, the sensations that had flooded her
body when he'd pulled the sleeve down her arm, the huskiness in his voice.

Mandy
punched her arm. "Alayna?"

Startled,
Alayna snapped her head around. "What?"

"Is
something bothering you?"

Alayna's
eyes widened. "No!" She sat up straighter in her chair. "I was just—"
She shifted her gaze from Mandy's to Sam's and finally to Merideth's, and she
saw the doubt in their eyes, and knew that she couldn't fool them. Not her
McCloud cousins. They knew her as well as she knew herself. Maybe better. And
why would she even try to hide her problems from them when she'd driven over
for the sole purpose of seeking their advice? "It's Jack," she
admitted reluctantly.

All
three cousins leaned forward expectantly. "What about him?"

Alayna
plucked at the napkin beneath her glass. "Well, I don't know really. You
see—" She huffed a breath, frustrated with her inability to verbalize her
current dilemma. "I want to have sex with him," she said bluntly.

Merideth
hooted at the ceiling. "Maudie was right. You
did
hire him for
his body."

"Merideth!"
Mandy and Sam cried in unison.

Merideth
lifted her chin. "Men pay for sex. Why can't a woman?"

Laughing,
Alayna held up a hand, staving off a sibling battle. Her cousins were so
predictable … and so dear. "I wish it were as simple as offering Jack cash
and the deed being done." She sank back in her chair with a sigh, her
smile fading. "Unfortunately it's not."

Mandy
peered at her in concern. "Do you have feelings for him?"

Alayna
sat a moment, thinking, knowing Mandy's questions deserved an honest answer.
"I don't know," she said at last. "I know I care for him, and I
know I'm attracted to him, which is ridiculous considering the amount of time
I've known him." She rolled her eyes as soon as the words were out of her
mouth. "Know him," she said in exasperation. "I don't
know
anything about him. He stubbornly refuses to discuss his past." She heaved
a breath. "I just know what I've witnessed over the last few weeks by
living and working so closely with him. And that is," she added pointedly,
"that Jack Cordell is a kind and sensitive man—though he tries his best to
disguise it. He's honest, extremely knowledgeable about a great number of
things and he works very hard." She shot Merideth a sly smile. "And
he looks pretty darn good without a shirt on, too."

Merideth
tossed back her head and laughed, but Mandy's face still registered concern.
"What happened between the two of you to provoke this sudden desire to
have sex with a man you hardly know?"

Alayna
frowned. "Well, this morning," she began, then stopped, shaking her
head. "No, actually it began several weeks ago when he kissed me."

"He
kissed you?" Mandy repeated, unable to disguise her surprise.

"Yes.
It was the night you invited us all for dinner. I was determined to find out
why Jack had refused to join us, so after I put the children to bed, I went in
search of him. I found him on the pond's pier. We were sitting there talking
and watching the sunset, and that's when he kissed me."

"A
sunset. A kiss. A definite prelude to sex," Merideth concluded knowingly.

"A
kiss is a prelude to sex?" Sam rolled her eyes. "Maybe for you, it
is."

Merideth
arched a brow. "Oh, really? Seems as if I remember Nash winning you over
in a similar way. A simple little kiss and you were panting after him for
more."

"A
simple little kiss?" Sam snorted a laugh. "Nash doesn't
do
simple little kisses. His are—"

"Okay,
you two," Mandy lectured sternly, "knock it off. Alayna didn't come
over to hear the details of your sordid sex lives." She turned back to her
cousin. "He kissed you, then what happened?"

Alayna
pressed her fingers against her lips, remembering her reaction. "It was
horrible."

Merideth
frowned, confused. "His kiss?"

Alayna
frantically shook her head. "No, no. His kiss was wonderful. It was
after
the kiss that was horrible."

"What
happened?"

"He—well,
he put his hand on my breast, and I—" Alayna pressed a hand over her
breast, remembering the feel of his hand there, then let it drop weakly to the
table. "—well, I panicked."

Compassion
softened Mandy's eyes as she reached for Alayna's hand. "Oh, Alayna."

Alayna
blinked furiously, not wanting to cry, determined to say it all. "Then he
left, and I was so embarrassed. I knew I shouldn't have let things go as far as
they did. And I knew that I owed him an apology."

"You
certainly did not!" Merideth cried, ready to come to her cousin's defense
as quickly as she would that of her sisters. "A woman has to right to say
no when she feels threatened."

Alayna
lifted her gaze. "But I didn't want to say no. That's the problem."
She squeezed her fingers tighter around Mandy's. "The next morning I tried
to apologize to him, but then
he
apologized,
insisting that it was all his fault."

Merideth
smiled, pleased. "I might just grow to like this guy."

Alayna
sighed heavily. "Then last night he asked me to stay with him." She
wrinkled her nose and gave her head a shake, as she recalled the conversation.
"Well, he didn't really
ask,
not in so many words."

"Did
you?" Merideth prodded.

"Stay
with him?" At Merideth's nod, Alayna sputtered a laugh. "Heavens,
no!"

"Why?"
This from Merideth again.

"Because
it would have been a disaster! Just as it was when he kissed me."

"You
don't know that for a fact."

"Oh,
yes, I do," Alayna declared emphatically, then dropped her shoulders in
frustration, frowning. "I was determined to go on as if nothing had
happened, since we do have to work alongside each other every day. But then
this morning, out of the blue, Jack became angry with me and asked me why I
wore so many clothes."

All
three McCloud sisters shared a look, having discussed the same thing
themselves, though they all suspected they knew the answer.

"Then
he took out his knife and cut the sleeve off of my shirt."

"He
what!"

Alayna
flapped a hand at Merideth to calm her ruffled feathers. "It wasn't like
it sounds." She sighed again, releasing her grip on Mandy's hand. She sank
back in her chair, her eyes going all dreamy as she replayed every detail of
the event in her mind. "In fact, it was the most sensual experience I've
ever had in my life."

Merideth
and Sam looked at each other, their expressions saying, "Huh?"

"I
wanted to grab him right then and there and make love with him. Or at least try
to. But all I could think to say was 'Thank you.'"

Sam
choked on a laugh and Mandy kicked her under the table. Sam kicked her back.

"Then,
later," Alayna continued, unaware of the war being waged under the table,
"he took me by the shoulders and looked me right in the eye and told me
that I couldn't hide my sexuality any more than I could deny it."

Merideth
shivered deliciously. "So then you made love with him. Right?"

"No."
Alayna dropped her gaze, embarrassed. "I didn't know what to say, or what
to do."

Merideth
tossed her hands up in the air. "It's simple. You take him by the hand and
lead him to your bedroom."

Alayna
smiled wistfully, wagging her head. "Simple for you, maybe. But not for
me. I'm no good at sex."

"Alex
was an asshole, Alayna. Forget him."

For
once, Mandy and Sam didn't correct Merideth. They, too, were aware of the
emotional scars Alayna's ex had left her with.

"Our
divorce was
not
Alex's fault," Alayna said firmly. "Not entirely,
anyway," she added, frowning. "Granted, he wasn't the best husband in
the world, but I can't fault him for my own inability to pleasure a man."

Sam
squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. "Listen, Alayna, I didn't think I was
cut out for sex, either, not after—well, not after what happened to me. But
Nash proved me wrong."

Aware
of the near rape Sam had suffered as a teenager, and the aversion to men that
it had left her with, Alayna leaned to cover Sam's hand with hers. "And
I'm happy for you, Sam. Nash is a wonderful man."

And
Alayna was missing the point entirely. When she attempted to withdraw her hand,
Sam tightened her fingers around it. "You're a psychologist, right?"

Alayna
laughed uneasily at the intensity in Sam's gaze. "You know I am." She
gave her hand a tug, but Sam refused to let her go.

"And
as a psychologist," Sam persisted, "you know all about the different
kinds of phobias and how to get people over them, right?"

"Well,
yes, but—"

Sam
tightened her fingers on Alayna's. "So what do you tell a patient who has
a phobia? How do you get them over it?"

"I
don't see the relevance…" Alayna began, glancing at her other two cousins
in a silent plea for help. But both Mandy and Merideth just looked at her
expectantly, waiting for her answer, as well. With a sigh, Alayna turned her
gaze back to Sam's. "Well, the first step in the healing process is to get
the patient to admit that the phobia exists."

Sam
nodded. "Then what?"

"Then
you develop a plan, working closely with the patient. Small steps where the
patient can meet with success and thus gather the courage to proceed toward
their ultimate goal."

"And
your goal is to have sex with Jack, right?"

Alayna
released a long, shuddery breath. "W-well, yes, I suppose. That's my
initial goal."

"Does
he want to have sex with you?"

Alayna
thought about that a moment, then nodded slowly. "Yes, I think so."

Sam
released Alayna's hand and flopped back in her chair, smiling proudly. "Problem
solved. I'll send you a bill."

Doubts
swarmed in Alayna's head. "But how? I've already refused his advances
twice. How do I let him know that I've changed my mind?"

"You
seduce him."

Merideth
said it so easily, that Alayna had to laugh. "Seduce him," she
repeated, then laughed again. She glanced down at her dress and caught a
fistful of the long skirt and lifted it. "I don't think Jack finds me
particularly seductive."

Merideth
popped to her feet. "Wardrobe is my department and seduction my specialty."
She held out a hand and gold bracelets clinked musically on her wrist.
"Come with me, Alayna."

"Don't
do it, Alayna!" Sam cried, rising, too. "She'll have you looking like
a streetwalker."

Merideth
stopped and slowly turned to face Sam, her lips pursed, her eyes narrowed
dangerously. "I beg your pardon?"

Mandy
quickly stepped between her two sisters. "Just keep it simple,
Merideth," she suggested helpfully, giving her sister's arm a soothing
pat. "Nothing too drastic."

Seven

«
^
»

A
layna stood
before her bathroom mirror, frantically trying to style her hair. She was
running late, which was a rarity, but this morning it had seemed to take
forever to get the kids off to school. She suspected that it was her own
impatience that had made the time pass so slowly. But the children were gone
now, she reminded herself, and she had the house to herself.

Well,
almost. Earlier, she'd heard Jack moving around downstairs, which meant she
needed to hurry.

Drawing
in a deep breath for courage, she set aside her hairbrush and smoothed her damp
palms down her thighs. She turned to peer over her shoulder at her rear view
and felt a flutter of nerves … even a little bit
risqué.

Merideth
had found the old pair of jeans Alayna now wore in Mandy's closet and had
whacked off the legs, making them into shorts. She'd done the same to an old
tank top, cropping the length to just beneath Alayna's breasts.

All
in all the results were satisfactory, if a little frightening. Alayna couldn't
remember the last time she'd worn a pair of shorts. Alex had always told her
that she didn't have the figure to wear shorts, that her legs were too long,
her thighs too fat. And she didn't remember ever wearing such a revealing top!

Were
the shorts too short? she fretted. She gave the raveled hem a tug, trying to
stretch the fabric, but quickly gave up. They'd just have to do.