The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf (31 page)

The Fire Queen sniffed. “Impossible. The Great Queen of the Hiyasta does not suffer from fire shock. I am beyond such childish diseases.”

“It can happen to anyone,” said the doctor, who, unusually among Malveria's subjects, did not address her as “mighty Queen.” He had attended to Malveria since she was a child and knew her very well.

“A great shock to the system can temporarily shut off our fire. It's not serious if attended to promptly. I presume you received a very severe shock?”

“Very severe,” agreed the Fire Queen.

“What was it?”

“Important matters of state, which I'm not at liberty to discuss.”

Doctor Idrigal looked around the room, which seemed tiny to him. “I didn't realize that Agrivex had been sent to live with peasants.”

“They are not peasants, dear Doctor. But living space is at a premium in this city, and people are crammed in any old way. Is there any other unnecessary treatment you wish to force on me for this so-called fire shock? I am now feeling quite healthy.”

Doctor Idrigal shook his head. “A little rest is all that's needed. I will assist you back to the palace.”

The Fire Queen sat up. “I can travel unaided, Doctor. I am quite healthy.”

“Very well. In that case, would you permit me to leave? I'm ill at ease in this city. I haven't been here since examining the effects of the Black Death as part of my student studies.”

“Ah, the Black Death,” said the Fire Queen. “Now that was a plague. Around thirteen fifty in their years, yes?”

“I believe so.”

Malveria examined her surroundings. “I seem to have created something of a mess. I must arrange for repairs.”

The Fire Queen suddenly pursed her lips and was obliged to control her aura, not wishing her doctor to read what was on her mind. Empress
Kabachetka's unexpected appearance in
Vogue
as a “fashionable party person” had been a shattering blow, and not one that the Queen could get over easily. No news could have been more distressing.

A further troubling thought crossed the Queen's mind. At the palace there would be business waiting for her. First Minister Xakthan and the accursed council of advisers were always wanting to enact some measure or other. Even worse, Count Garfire and various other buffoons from her aristocracy were no doubt waiting on a chance to continue her wooing. The Fire Queen lay back down and pulled the blanket over her.

“Doctor Idrigal. As you say, I require a little rest. I have decided to rest here.”

“Really?” The doctor was troubled. “This hardly seems a suitable place.”

“There are reasons for it. Important reasons of state, which again I cannot divulge. Please inform First Minister Xakthan that the Fire Queen will be resting in London for a few days and is not to be disturbed.”

Doctor Idrigal nodded. It was a strange decision by the Queen, but as he was satisfied her health was in no danger, his work was finished. He departed. Malveria snapped her fingers, using a minor spell to bring Vex tumbling into the room.

“I hate when you do that,” said Vex.

“Silence, niece. The doctor has ordered me to rest. I will be remaining here for some days. Kindly clear some space in your attic, emptying it of all excess boots, T-shirts and whatever else is cluttering up the place.”

Vex was incredulous. “You want to share my room?”

“Share your room? The Queen of the Hiyasta does not share a room. You will go somewhere else while I recover.”

“This is so unfair!” cried Vex.

“Unfair? Who do you think pays the rent for that room? Now depart, ungrateful wretch, and tidy your foul living space to make it suitable for a queen. Then inform your flatmates that I am obliged to remain here on medical grounds for a short while. Moonglow is a hospitable woman and will not object, I'm sure.”

CHAPTER 56

There was a day of upheaval in the household as Agrivex was ejected from her room, decamping under protest to share with Moonglow. Daniel went about the task of buying a new couch and organizing delivery. The Fire Queen was paying for this, having graciously apologized for the damage and offered restitution. As Malveria made herself comfortable in Vex's room, the flatmates were busy downstairs cleaning the layer of dust that covered everything.

“It's a complete outrage,” said Vex, who had tied a bandana around her face to protect her from the dust. “First my aunt nearly kills us all, and now she's thrown me out of the attic!”

“It's only for a day or two,” said Moonglow. “She needs to rest.”

“Hah,” said Vex. “I think she just wants to spy on me.”

Daniel was awaiting the arrival of the new couch with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. He rather liked the responsibility of selecting a piece of furniture, which he regarded as quite a manly thing to do, particularly as there was measuring involved. He hoped he'd got it right. No one would be impressed if he'd ordered a couch that wouldn't fit their not-very-spacious living room.

“Our lives just get stranger and stranger,” said Daniel. “One Fire Elemental was bad enough, now we've got the Queen here too.”

“Hey!” said Vex. “What do you mean one was bad enough?”

“It was weird enough when we just had werewolves to worry about,” continued Daniel.

“I'm not weird,” said Kalix.

“If only that were true,” said Daniel.

Kalix began to sulk before realizing that Daniel was only teasing her. She sulked a little anyway, in protest. The cat sat on the table, cleaning its fur, as it had done since the series of explosions. It had survived the experience well and showed no signs of distress, but it was doing a lot of grooming.

“Do you think the neighbors know all these explosions came from this flat?” wondered Daniel. They had never met any of their neighbors, and had no idea what they were like.

“The worst explosions were outside,” Moonglow said. “People probably just thought it was thunder.”

“I hope so.”

When the room was mostly free of dust, Moonglow went to make tea.
She didn't mind sharing her room with Vex for a day or two. Moonglow was relieved that the Fire Queen was not seriously ill.

But she really shouldn't get so upset about her fashion rivals, thought Moonglow while filling a tray to take upstairs to the Queen. It was awkward climbing the short ladder to the attic, and Moonglow balanced the tray rather precariously as she tapped on the door.

“Come in,” said the Fire Queen.

Moonglow pushed up the trapdoor and struggled to maneuver herself and the tray into the attic. The attic had been improved and enlarged by Malveria and Thrix, originally as a place to store clothes for Malveria and later as a room for Vex to live in. It was protected by sorcery, and was now quite a suitable environment for a Fire Elemental. The Queen was reclining quite comfortably under Vex's huge pink duvet, propped up on pillows with a magazine on her lap.

“Tea?” said Malveria. “Splendid. And now, Moonglow, let me confess something immediately.”

“Confess?”

“I am afraid so. The truth is, I'm not sick, I'm hiding.”

“Hiding?”

“Indeed. It was a terrible shock to discover that the appalling Kabachetka has outwitted me. Sponsoring the ball was a shrewd move. It brought her immediately into contact with the editor of
Vogue
and showed her in a very good light. Good enough for the editor of
Vogue
to publish her repellent features as a “fashionable party person.” It is a blow. It was widely known that this was an ambition of mine, but the Empress has beaten me to it.

“And I am not blaming anyone,” continued the Queen. “For instance, Thrix MacRinnalch, whose callous indifference led to me not attending this fashion event. If I had been there I would have outshone the sordid Kabachetka, easily preventing her from being photographed. But that was not to be. Thrix simply abandoned me, coldly refusing to make my dress. No doubt the duplicitous Enchantress planned this all along, probably in alliance with Kabachetka, whose gold is probably flowing into Thrix's coffers at this moment. Yes, I have been stabbed in the back by both of them. But I will not blame anyone.” The Queen dabbed her eyes.

“I'm sure Thrix wouldn't—” began Moonglow, but the Queen held up her hand.

“Do not attempt to exonerate her. I know your kind nature has led to reconciliation in the past, making me forgive the Enchantress for her
numerous crimes against me, but this time there is no excusing her.”

The Queen sipped tea from her delicate china cup.

“As you can see, I have much to think about, and events at the palace make it difficult for me to think. For reasons which elude me, a considerable portion of the nation's aristocracy has chosen this moment to seek my hand in marriage. It is very wearing. One knows I should produce an heir at some point, but the queue that has now formed is an affront to civilized behavior.”

Moonglow fidgeted. Remembering the house meeting with Agrivex, she had an idea of who might be responsible for the Queen's discomfiture.

“So there you have my confession, Moonglow. I require a few days' peace in which to think. I trust you will allow me to remain.”

“Of course,” said Moonglow.

“We must take the opportunity to make progress with the six-stage perfect lip coloring plan. Tell me, Moonglow, have you ever tried to walk in these extra-high heels? I mean, eight or nine inches?”

It wasn't the question Moonglow was expecting and she couldn't help smiling. “No, I've never tried.”

“It is most difficult. But I am determined to succeed, and will work on my spell further while here.”

There was a light tapping on the trapdoor. Kalix's head appeared.

“Dominil's coming to visit you.”

“Dominil?” The Fire Queen was surprised.

“She called up to check on me and I mentioned you were here, and she said she wants to see you. I don't know why,” said Kalix. “I'm leaving anyway, I don't want to see Dominil.”

With that Kalix disappeared.

“Do you want me to call Dominil and put her off?” asked Moonglow.

“I do not think Dominil can be put off. But I have no objection to seeing her. She is cold and frigid, and not sympathetic to heels, makeup and frocks, but she has aided me in the past.”

CHAPTER 57

In her search for the headquarters of the Avenaris Guild, Dominil had pushed geolocation to the limits of current technology. She had an IP
address for the Guild, obtained some months ago when she'd managed to access their system. Though that access had now been closed off by the Guild, she'd still been able to use the IP address to ping the target from multiple servers. She obtained measurements for the time taken by the ping, made adjustments for the speed of light and online delays, and created a map of overlapping circles, eventually finding a postal code for the crossover area she was looking for. She sent trace-route requests to her target and refined her circles until she believed she knew the location of the Guild to within eight hundred meters.

It had been a lot of work. While Dominil was moderately pleased at her progress, it wasn't enough. She was now certain that the Guild's headquarters was in central London, somewhere just north of Oxford Street, and not too far from Marble Arch, but that was a very congested area. It contained thousands of addresses.

Even knocking on every door wouldn't help, reasoned Dominil. Their headquarters could be buried away underground, or hidden behind some respectable facade.

It was frustrating, and Dominil was further frustrated by Thrix. She claimed to be working on some great location spell but seemed to be no nearer finishing it. She was vague about her efforts and not as forthcoming as she should be. Dominil wasn't sure why. She wasn't that impressed by Markus's efforts either. Frustrated by the amount of time it was taking him to complete the database, she called his number again and let it ring. Finally, Markus answered.

“Who is it?”

“It's Dominil—”

Dominil broke off as a great peal of laughter sounded from the other end of the line. There was some amused shouting, from Beatrice, then more laughter from Heather.

“Hello?” said Markus. “Who is it?”

“It's Dominil. Have you—”

“Wait a minute.”

There was more laughter at the other end of the line. Dominil fumed.

“Dominil, could you call back later, I'm busy.”

“No, I can't call back later,” said Dominil. “We need to talk now.”

“It's not a very good time.”

“Not a very good time? When would be a good time to stop werewolves being murdered?”

“I know,” said Markus. “But I'm just, uh . . .”

“You're just having fun with your girlfriends,” said Dominil icily. “No doubt drinking the clan whisky and trying on your latest dress, both of which you could do on another occasion.”