The Art of Life (96 page)

               
“
Mmmm
,” I hum.
 
“Can I
ask you a serious question?”

               
“Of
course,” he replies.

               
Biting
my lip, I ask, “Shouldn’t I be more excited?”

               
“About what, your date?”
 
He asks.
 
I nod.
 
Taking a deep breath, he sighs.
 
“I can’t answer that for you.”
 
Jeremy reaches down and takes my hand.
 
“I want you to be happy.
 
You deserve someone………..that will make you
happy.”

               
“And
that could be Eric,” I whisper.

               
Jeremy
nods.
 
“It could be.”
 
There is silence between us yet again.
 
I reach up and start to undo his tie.
 
He looks at me.
 
“What are you doing?”

               
“I
am tired.
 
It is time to get ready for
bed.”

               
He
grabs my hand.
 
“Isabelle, you need to
sleep alone now.”

               
I
look up at him.
 
“That doesn’t seem
fair.
 
I should be able to make that
decision.”

               
“If
I have to give up and start sharing you, then I need to make the decision to
sleep by myself.
 
We need to sleep by
ourselves.
 
I also will not be kissing
you on your lips or on your body anymore.
 
I will watch my hands.
 
That is
the way it needs to be,” he states, looking off to the side.

               
“Jeremy,
stop,” I say, grabbing ahold of his coat lapels.
 
“Nothing has to change.
 
He isn’t my boyfriend.
 
I have been honest with him.
 
Don’t do this.”

               
His
eyes look down into mine and he has the saddest look on his face.
 
“We need to have some boundaries.
 
It is different now.
 
I don’t want to ruin your chances with Eric.”

               
“Eric
doesn’t need to know,” I whisper.

               
Now,
I get a stern look.
 
“Isabelle, that is
not right.”

               
“What
if I have nightmares?” I ask.
           

               
“Come
and wake me up.
 
I will sit with you
until you fall asleep,” Jeremy replies.

               
With
a heavy heart, I pull him against me.
 
“I
don’t want to give you up.”

               
We
stand there, staring at each other.
 
Jeremy inhales sharply and looks away.
 
“Isabelle, you deserve to fall in love with someone.
 
I can’t hinder that.”

               
“You
aren’t…..” I murmur.
 
Suddenly, there is
a tightness
in my chest.
 
“I don’t want to do this.
 
I don’t
want to lose what we are.”

               
“You
will NEVER lose me,” Jeremy articulates strongly.
 
“No matter what, I am right here, whenever
you need me.”

               
I
go up on my toes and kiss him gently on the lips.
 
He kisses me in return for the briefest of
seconds and then pushes me back.
 
“Please
Jeremy, don’t do this.”

               
“We
have to.
 
I love you Isabelle,
but…..things have to change.”

               
Tears
start to well up in my eyes and I am forced to look away.
 
“Okay.”
 
Letting go of him, I whisper, “I should get ready for bed.”

               
“Okay,”
Jeremy replies quietly.

               
Turning
around, I ask, “Can you undo my dress, otherwise I am sleeping in it.”

               
His
fingers delicately brush against my skin as he undoes the ribbons and unzips
the dress.
 
For a second, I feel his
fingers trace down my back.
 
It sends
shivers down my spine.
 
Jeremy chokes
out, “I am going to use the bathroom first.”
 
With that, he turns and walks away.

               
That
night, I sleep alone.
 
I don’t sleep
well, because I keep staring at the empty bed beside me.
 
Finally, I roll over to the other side, and
close my eyes and two tears run down the side of my face.
 
What is wrong with me?

               
I
am awoken the next morning, by movement next to me.
 
I open my eyes to find Jeremy sitting there
with a tray.
 
He smiles.
 
“I told you I would bring you breakfast.”

               
“What?”
I say, sitting up.

               
He
holds the tray forward.
 
“It’s
breakfast.”
 
I look down at the
food.
 
There are actual pancakes and
eggs, everything.
 
My eyes turn back to
him.
 
Shrugging, Jeremy states, “I went
and got the food, because we didn’t get a hotel room last night, and I promised
you breakfast in bed.”

               
“Thank
you,” I whisper.
 
“Are you going to eat
with me?”

               
Snorting,
Jeremy answers, “Uh yeah, I got breakfast for me, too.
 
You start to eat.
 
I will be right back.”
 
He stands up and bends over.
 
His lips come inches from my forehead, and he
stops.
 
“Sorry, old habits die hard.”

               
“Are
we going through this again?
 
Kiss me on
the damn forehead Jeremy.
 
That is fine.”

               
“Fine,”
he mutters.
 
The kiss is quick and
soft.
 
“I will be right back.”

               
We
eat breakfast in my bed, which is really funny.
 
I yell at Jeremy for getting crumbs all over my blanket, and he just
sticks his tongue out.
 
The rest of the
day is rather uneventful.
 
We go about
everything like normal, except I can tell he is fighting touching me.
 
I try to show affection, but he just steps
away.
 
It is slightly aggravating.

               
The
next morning isn’t much better.
 
All he
gives me is a hug, but it is a lingering hug.
 
We kind of just hold each other for a minute.
 
Finally, he whispers, “Have a good day.”
 
I return the comment and leave.

               
I
am nervous about school, unsure of what to say to Eric, but I don’t see him
until lunch.
 
He is leaning against our
lockers.
 
When I walk up, he smiles.
 
“Hey, I thought I would walk you to the
lunchroom.”

               
“Okay,”
I reply.
 
“Let me get my lunch.”
 
Eric steps away from the lockers and I do
just that.
 
As we walk to the lunch room,
I ask, “How was the after party?”

               
“Well,
fun, I guess,” Eric replies.
 
“I don’t
drink and there was drinking there.
 
Sonya was drunk as a skunk, and somewhat obnoxious.
 
She tried to kiss me again, and I literally
had to hold her away, and state, I don’t want to kiss you.
 
I think she finally got the point.
 
Sonya is from another planet I think, because
she has never paid any attention to me, other than in passing, and suddenly she
wants to….well yeah.”

               
Frowning,
I say, “Not that everything revolves around me, but she really hates me.
 
From what I gather, she has a huge thing for
Jeremy, and he wouldn’t touch her if his life depended on it.
 
He may if MY life depended on it, but I would
rather die.”
 
Eric looks at me.
 
I roll my eyes.
 
“I am kidding, but no, I think she wants to
take away what she can.”

               
“I
would say that you are wrong, but it’s kind of obvious if she knows
you…..like…me.”

               
“Yeah,”
I whisper.
 
“I really don’t like
her.
 
I am not one for hating people, so
I just thoroughly dislike her.
 
Do you
know she called me a freak the first day that you guys met Jeremy?”

               
Eric
gives me a perplexed look.
 
“She
did?
 
When we were at the coffee shop?”

               
Nodding,
I say, “Yup, she said something along the lines, that this is this freak’s
boyfriend.”

               
“Geez
Isabelle, I am an ass.
 
I should have
noticed, but I was kind of busy noticing you.
 
Really, I have been a jerk.
 
You
have been next to me for years and I never paid any attention.
 
Honestly, I am not exactly sure why you even
like me.”

               
“You
seem like such a nice guy.
 
There are good
looking guys here that all the girls have crushes on, but they are so shallow,
they can’t see past themselves.
 
You
aren’t like that,” I reply.
 
“At least I
don’t think you are.
 
You could be a closet
jerk.”

               
That
seems to be humorous to Eric.
 
“No, I
don’t think that I am.
 
I don’t know
though, you will have to tell me.”

               
“Alright,
I will keep my jerk radar up,” I giggle.
 
Eric laughs with me and opens the door to the lunch room for me.

               
Lunch
is nice.
 
We all talk about formal.
 
The girls gush over Jeremy and the
necklace.
 
I try to change the subject
but it doesn’t work very well.
 
Eric
keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
 
I sigh heavily and return the look.
 
He smirks and nudges me with his knee.
 
That one gesture reminds me of Jeremy.
 
I quickly shake my head and try to not think
about him.

               
At
the end of the school day, Eric walks me to my car.
 
“How about I pick you up at six?”

               
“Sure,
that’s fine,” I reply.
 
“What should I
wear?”

               
“Clothes
would be good,” Eric retorts.
 
I shove
him and keep walking.
 
He jogs back up
next to me.
 
“Nothing over the top, we
are keeping the date simple, so keep the clothes simple.”

               
I
nod.
 
“Okay.”
 
When we get to my car, Eric and I awkwardly
stand there for a minute.
 
“I will see
you later then,” I finally say.

               
“Yeah,”
Eric responds.
 
“Six.”

               
“Sounds
good, bye,” I say, as I get in my car.
 
He waves and walks away.

               
My
stomach is doing flips all the way home.
 
I am super nervous.
 
Jeremy isn’t
home when I get to the apartment, which is good, I guess.
 
I hop in the shower, to start to get
ready.
 
Yeah, I know, I took a shower
this morning, but I just feel like a need another one.
 
As I am blow drying my hair, Jeremy appears
at the doorway.
 
“Hey toots.”

               
Turning
off the blow dryer, I say, “Hi.”