The Art of Life (98 page)

I shrug.
 
“I am not sure what you want to know.”

“Tell me what your day is
like.
 
Honestly, start to end.
 
I want to know how your world works,” Eric
states.

               
Nodding,
I reply, “Okay.
 
Jeremy usually wakes me
up by either jumping on top of me or kissing me on the forehead, depending on
what mood he is in.
 
We make coffee and
get ready for school slash work.
 
Usually, we get into some sort of food fight.
 
He makes comments about coming into the
shower.
 
Really, we are never
serious.
  
Jeremy used to drive me to
school.
 
Now, he kisses me good bye and
we go our separate ways.
 
I obviously go
to school during the week.
 
On the
weekends, Jeremy and I usually just hang around the house.
 
Sometimes, Cassandra and Kent come over.
 
Josh just likes to play video games.”

               
“What
about at night,” Eric remarks.
 
“What do
you do after school, when I don’t see you?”

               
“Homework,
draw, harass Jeremy, it depends on the day.
 
Jeremy makes me watch the nightly news, and I want to poke my eyes
out.
 
I make dinner for us usually, but
he does like to take me out a lot, too.
 
Really, it’s just Jeremy and me.”

               
Suddenly,
Eric stops.
 
“You and Jeremy are really
close aren’t you?”

               
“Yeah,”
I reply, coming to a halt.
 
“I love
him.
 
He is pretty much my world.”

               
With
a slight hesitation, Eric narrows his eyes.
 
“I am going to say something and I don’t want you to take it the wrong
way or get mad at me.”

               
Very
nervous, I say, “What?”

               
“Well,
this is the last thing a guy wants to say on a date with a girl, but…..I think
you aren’t really interested in me.
 
I
think you are in love with Jeremy.”

               
My
jaw drops.
 
“Huh?”

               
“Don’t
get me wrong, because I am having a blast with you!
 
I think you are great, but you aren’t feeling
the same thing,” Eric states awkwardly.
 
“Tell me I am wrong.
 
I would love
to hear that.”

               
Shaking
my head, I stutter, “No…I am having fun….of course I am interested in you, and
I am NOT in love with Jeremy.”

               
“Are
you sure about that?” He asks.

               
“I….I
don’t understand why you are saying that,” I say a little hotly.

               
Eric
puts his hands out.
 
“I am not trying to
make you mad, but you light up when you talk about Jeremy.
 
There is a little glint in your eyes.
 
I mean, I don’t want it to be true, trust
me.”

               
“Well,
it’s not,” I mumble, crossing my arms.

               
Taking
a step forward, Eric whispers, “Can I try something?
 
Do
a little bit of
an experiment?”

               
“What’s
that?” I ask.
 
Eric puts his hand on the
side of my face and then bends over and kisses me.

               
My
mind freezes for a second.
 
The kiss is
sweet, not exactly what I thought it would be.
 
Jeremy’s is so….different.
 
It
makes my pulse race, isn’t that what this is supposed to do?
 
Eric continues to gently kiss me.
 
I kiss back, but……it’s not the same.

               
When
Eric finally pulls back, he says, “I am afraid to ask, but what were you
thinking about?”

               
“What
do you mean?” I ask.

               
“Better
question, who were you thinking about?”

               
Then
it’s like bolt of lightning.
 
My hand
comes up to cover my mouth.
 
“No, I mean….I
didn’t mean to.
 
No, no, no, this can’t
be true.
 
Kiss me again, maybe I was
being stupid.”

               
Eric
laughs.
 
“I will gladly kiss you all
night, but that isn’t going to change anything.
 
Your heart belongs to someone else.”

               
“But….it
can’t….I can’t…..” I whisper, backing up to sit down on a bench.
 
“I am not in love with him…………am I?”

               
“I
think you are,” Eric replies, sitting down next to me.
 
“There isn’t anything wrong with that.
 
I think he is in love with you, too.”

               
Turning
to him, I exclaim, “No!
 
There is no
way!
 
Have you seen him?
 
I know Jeremy.
 
He doesn’t go for girls like me.
  
He goes for gorgeous girls who giggle a
lot.”

               
“You
are beautiful, Isabelle.
 
He loves
you.
 
It is really obvious.”

               
I
sit there and stare at Eric.
 
“I am in
love with Jeremy, aren’t I?”

               
He
nods, “Yup.”

               
Bending
over, I put my head in my hands.
 
“This
will change everything.
 
I could never
tell him.
 
What would I do?
 
I can’t move out.”

               
“Jeremy
isn’t going to make you move out,” Eric sighs.
 
“You need to be honest with him.
 
He is your best friend.”

               
Vigorously,
I shake my head.
 
“No, I can’t tell
him.
 
I just can’t.
 
He can never find out.”

               
“What
are you going to do, fall out of love with him?
 
It doesn’t work that way.
 
You
can’t turn it off like a switch.”

               
Taking
a deep breath, I say, “I can fall in love with someone else though, if I give
it time.”
 
Eric laughs.
 
“It is not funny,” I snap.

               
Eric
just shakes his head.
 
“I am not laughing
at you, but you are really fighting this.
 
Why not give into it?
 
Just love
him Isabelle, see where it goes.”

               
We
stare at each other for a while.
 
“What
do I do?”

               
“That
is up to you.
 
You can go home and
exclaim, I love you, or you can do something romantic.
 
You need to do it in a way you are
comfortable.”

               
“I
am not comfortable doing this at all,” I moan.
 
“I don’t think I would have the guts to say it.
 
Maybe someone else can tell him.”

               
Chuckling
again, Eric says, “I realize we are in high school, but that is really high
school and he is older.
 
He needs to hear
it from you.
 
If he feels the same way
about you, then it’s great that he heard it from your lips.”

               
“I
am so scared,” I whisper.
 
“I can’t lose
him.
               
With a soft smile, Eric
takes my hand.
 
“You aren’t going to lose
him.
 
I don’t think Jeremy is going
anywhere.”

               
I
exhale and stare off into the distance.
 
We sit there for a while, just talking, but I know I have to go
home.
 
I don’t want to, but I have
to.
 
We finally leave and my stomach is
doing back flips.
 
When Eric pulls up to
my house, I turn and look at him.
 
“I did
have a really, really good time tonight, sorry…..”

               
“No,
I had a blast, too.
 
Am I
disappointed?
 
Yes, but I would still
like to be your friend.
 
I will be here
if you need me through this whole thing,” Eric says, taking my hand once
again.
 
“Is there anyone else you can
talk to about this?”

               
Then
it’s like a light bulb.
 
“Cassandra!”
 
I whip
out my phone and look at Eric.
 
“Can I
call her quickly?”

               
“Of
course,” he replies.

               
I
dial her number and wait.
 
Finally, she
answers, “How was the date?”

               
“I
need to talk to you, like ASAP,” I exclaim.
 
“It is really important.”

               
“What’s
wrong?” She asks.

               
Looking
at Eric, I simply state, “I need to talk to you in person.
 
Like do you work tomorrow?”

               
“Not
until the afternoon, but you have school.”

               
“Okay,
we are watching a video first period which I saw last year and then I have
study hall.
 
We can get together in the
morning,” I spit out dramatically.

               
Cassandra
laughs, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

               
That
makes me take in a deep breath.
 
“I just
came to the realization that I am in love with Jeremy.”

               
And
then there’s silence.
 
“Okay, tell me
something I don’t know.”

               
“What
is that supposed to mean?” I snap.

               
“I
have known that you two are in love with each other for a while.
 
It’s kind of obvious,” Cassandra declares
with a bit of humor.
 
“So, the question
is, when are you going to tell Jeremy?”

               
Sighing,
I say, “That’s what I want to talk to you about, but not over the phone.”

               
“Okay,
meet me at the diner on the corner of Lincoln and Madison at 8 o’clock.
 
Sound good?”

               
“Yeah,”
I exhale.
 
“I really need to talk about
this.”

               
She
chuckles on the other end of the phone.
 
“It will be fine, just don’t act funny tonight.
 
If you don’t want him to know, just be
yourself.
 
If you start to be weird, he
will sense that something is wrong.”

               
“That’s
easier said than done,” I respond.
 
“I
don’t even know what to say to him.”

               
“Just
be yourself, or hide in your room.”

               
Good
idea.
 
I nod my head.
 
“If I go to bed, then I don’t need to see
him.”

               
“Yup,
so I will see you in the morning then,” Cassandra says.

               
“Yeah,”
I reply.
 
“I will be there.
 
You can count on that.”

               
“Try
and have a good night Isabelle,” she states.
 
“It will be fine.”

               
My
eyebrows rise, “Yeah, sure it is.”

               
“It
will.
 
See you tomorrow, okay?”

               
“Yup,”
I retort without any enthusiasm.

               
Cassandra
laughs, “Bye,” and hangs up.
 

I put my phone down and
then look at Eric.
 
“I am having
breakfast with her tomorrow.”