The Billionaire Boyfriend Proposal: A Kavanagh Family Novel (17 page)

"Oh. That. So you did sneak a peek?"

"Don't judge me. I can see you have too."

"It was already open," I said stiffly. "I
just happened to glance at it."

She waved off my excuse. "The point is, he
hasn't mentioned it to me either. If he doesn't then I can't
confront him about it."

"Did he tell you he quit the army?"

"Not in so many words, but he did let me
believe that he had. It's a lie of omission in my book and I can
tell you, I don't like it when anyone lies to me. I always find
them out. Always. And when I do, they will receive a piece of my
mind."

It sounded like a particularly ruthless
attitude to take regarding her own son.

"It seems we're united in this, Cassie."

"We are?"

"Of course. Neither of us wants him to
go."

"It's too late to make him stay, Ellen. From
what I could see, that letter wasn't asking him to return, it was a
demand."

"There's always a way out."

I supposed she meant paying someone. I
wondered if the US army could be bought off. "The point isn't that
he can get out of it," I told her, "it's whether he wants to."

She blinked at me. "You don't think he does?"
Shock rippled across her face and her blinking became more rapid.
"I hadn't thought of that."

Harry walked off and Blake made his way
toward us. Ellen tossed him a tight smile then disappeared into the
crowd, leaving me to face the music. I spotted Reece and Cleo
nearby and headed toward them. I expected Blake to follow, but he
didn't. Someone had stopped him to talk.

"Reece," I said, interrupting their kiss. "I
need to speak with you."

"I'll go," Cleo said.

"No, it's okay. You can hear this too since
he's probably going to tell you later anyway."

They both smiled. "Actually, I wanted to talk
to you tonight too," Reece said. "I wanted to apologize for the
other week at Mom and Dad's. I came on too strong and I shouldn't
have."

I shook my head. "No, I should be the one
apologizing." I blew out a breath and glanced around the ballroom,
now full with glittering couples, the cream of the Roxburg crop. I
even recognized some of them. "This isn't the most appropriate
place to say this, but I have to get it off my chest now. I don't
blame you for Wendy's death, Reece. Not anymore. She was unraveling
before you two began dating, before Mom and Dad even died." I
shrugged. "I guess I wanted to blame someone because I couldn't
face the fact that she wanted to leave me." There. I'd said it.
Their engagement party wasn't the right place to bring up the
painful past, but I hoped now that it was done it was over for
good. "I hope we can put this behind us and be friends again."

He left Cleo's side and drew me into a hug.
"Of course," he murmured. "Friends for now, hopefully family
soon."

I drew away. "No, Reece. No."

He frowned. Cleo sidled closer to him and he
put his arm around her waist. "Why not?" she asked. "Blake loves
you and you love him."

"It's hard to explain."

"Try."

"This isn't the right place or time."

"It's my engagement party. If I say it's the
right time and place then it is." When had she gotten so fierce?
She wasn't even a Kavanagh yet but she had become as stubborn as
one.

"He's leaving again," I said. "Another
tour."

"But he quit!"

"Apparently not."

"He has," Reece said. "I'm sure he has."

"Did he say so or did you assume?"

He frowned. "I don't know."

"So he's going away again," Cleo said. "But
he'll be back, Cassie. He loves you. The kind of love you two share
is the once in a lifetime kind. He'll always come back to you
because he can't stay away."

I shook my head and stared down at the floor.
"I can't bear to be hurt like the last time. It would break
me."

Cleo hugged me. "Oh, Cassie."

"He made his choice," I said, fighting hard
to stem the tears stinging my eyes. "He chose to serve his country.
A girl can't compete with an entire country who needs him."

"Talk to him," Reece said. "Find out what he
wants and what he plans to do and work it out."

"If he goes, then there's nothing to work
out. I won't be hurt like that again. It took me eight years to get
over him the last time he left. This time…" I shook my head. I
couldn't even fathom how long it would take.

"This time you won't shut everyone out,"
Reece said. "This time we won't let you. Not everyone leaves,
Cassie. You've got Robbie for company now and us and Becky. If you
try and push us away, we'll just keep on knocking on your door
until you let us in."

I nodded, grateful beyond words for friends
like them and Robbie and Becky. I had a feeling I was going to need
them after Blake left.

Reece fixed on something behind me. He
frowned. "You know, Blake might look tough on the outside, but he's
just as afraid of rejection as any regular guy."

"I'm not rejecting him," I said. "Not
exactly."

"No? Then why are you avoiding him?"

"Two different things."

"Does he know that?" He nodded and I turned
to see Blake approaching. When I turned back to Cleo and Reece,
they had their backs to me, walking away. I swallowed and steeled
myself.

Blake came up behind me, a warm presence at
my back. I breathed deeply to calm my trembling nerves. He slipped
his hand into mine, but I withdrew.

"Cassie, talk to me," he purred. "What's
wrong? Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not."
Liar.

"You don't want to spend the night with me
and can hardly bear to look at me. If that's not avoidance, I don't
know what is."

I shook my head, but he was right. I couldn't
meet his gaze because I couldn't bear to see the sorrow in his
eyes.

"Cassie, I know these last few weeks have
been emotional for you. For me too. But I thought we were heading
in the right direction together. I thought you were falling in love
with me again." He cupped my cheek and touched his thumb to the
corner of my mouth. "I'm still in love with you." He cleared his
throat. "I thought I should tell you, in case you didn't know."

My heart cracked in two. I hated this, hated
seeing what I was doing to him. But while my heart may have been
broken, it was still capable of mending. If I gave those pieces to
him and he left with them, they would shatter altogether if he
never came back.

"I…I can't do this," I whispered through the
bank of tears threatening to burst. "I can't be with you
anymore."

"Why?" Panic flittered through his eyes. It
was unnatural, wrong, and I'd put it there. "Because I left you
eight years ago? Cassie, are you still mad at me?"

I shook my head. "No, not mad. Just…it's too
much. Too powerful. I'm scared." I moved off, but he caught my
arm.

The music stopped and the guests turned to
the stage as someone spoke into the microphone. It took me a moment
to realize it was Ash. It must be time for the speeches.

"Hell," Blake muttered, glancing at Ash. Ash
glared back, imploring Blake to join him on stage.

"Go," I said to Blake. "You're best man."

He shook his head and settled his stance.
"You and I need to sort this through. I'm not going anywhere until
we do."

"Blake! It's Reece's engagement party!"

"I don't care."

Heads swiveled and next thing I knew, he was
flanked by Zac and Damon, looking every bit as fierce as Blake had
the night we fetched Robbie.

"What the hell are you doing?" Damon
whispered. "Everyone's waiting for you."

"I need to speak to Cassie first."

Zac and Damon looked to me, brows arched,
uncertainty in their eyes. They heard the stubborn determination in
Blake's voice as clearly as I did and they also knew what it meant.
Blake wouldn't be swayed from his purpose until the mission was
completed.

CHAPTER 12

Twelve years ago, after Wendy had died, Blake
had chosen to defend Reece. Eight years ago, when we were still
arguing over his brother's involvement, he chose to leave.

Tonight he chose me. It was what I'd always
wanted. And yet it didn't make me feel any better.

Damn it. I'd done enough to ruin Reece's
life. I wouldn't ruin his engagement party as well.

"Go," I said, giving Blake a gentle push in
the arm. "I'll stay right here and when you're finished, we'll
talk."

His nostrils flared. He looked to the stage
where Ash, Reece, Cleo, Becky, Ellen and Harry stood watching,
waiting. Someone on the other side of the ballroom coughed and it
sounded as loud as a church bell. Oh God, Blake was going to dig
his heels in and refuse.

"I promise I'll still be here, Blake. Please
get up there!"

He blew out a breath and gave a single nod.
He disappeared with Damon and Zac, but the crowd around still
watched me. I wanted to sink into the floor. It took Ash to make a
joke about his brother's tardiness before they gave their attention
to the stage. Ash handed over the microphone to Blake amid
applause.

Blake breathed deeply and glanced back at his
family. Ellen gave him a firm nod of encouragement. "I'm not much
of a speaker," he began. "My brothers got all the charm in the
family. Except Damon." That earned a laugh from the audience and a
withering glare from the youngest Kavanagh. "So I wrote some notes
on this piece of paper." He held up a crumpled sheet then tossed it
away. "I've decided not to read it, so you'll have to put up with
my awkward pauses, stumbled words, and lack of eloquence. If I were
reading this speech to you, I would have cracked a joke now about
how Cleo has tamed my brother. It was a really funny joke too, so
I'm sorry you won't get to hear it."

More laughter and I smiled through my
heartache. On stage, Reece kissed the top of Cleo's head and she
beamed back at him.

Blake cleared his throat. "People tell me I
must be brave to go to war." He shrugged. "I tell them I'm either
brave or stupid, take your pick. My four brothers up here will tell
you it's the latter. But I've been doing it for a long time now and
I think maybe bravery—or stupidity—is something that I learned, not
something I already possessed. And sometimes I forget that other
people aren't as brave, or as stupid, as me." His gaze zeroed in on
me, sending a jolt through to my core. I'd promised him I would
stay, but I couldn't have moved even if I'd wanted to. I was rooted
to the floor.

"War and falling in love have a lot more in
common than you think," he said to titters of laughter. "You need
to be both brave and stupid to fall in love, and you need to trust
your gut. If it feels right, you must move heaven and earth to hold
the one you love. If it feels wrong, get the hell out before
something explodes. The difference between love and war is that
there is no enemy in love. If two people love one another, nothing
can stand in their way and nothing should. Not governments or
borders or cultural differences. Not fear." He pressed his hand to
his chest over his heart and I felt like it was just he and I in
the ballroom. He spoke only to me, about us. "Conquering that fear
can be the hardest thing in the world to do, but Reece and Cleo are
here today as proof that it's worth it. It's worth every single
scar because scars fade in time, and so does fear."

Applause brought me out of my numbed state. I
blinked back tears and looked at the shiny-eyed faces around me,
all turned to Blake, riveted by his heart-felt speech.

"Reece and Cleo knew they had something worth
fighting for and they didn't let anything stand in their way," he
said. "Not even my mother."

"I approved of her!" Ellen protested.

The room erupted into laughter and I
grinned.

"And thank goodness you did, Mom, because
this family needs Cleo Denny. Reece needs her." He went on to speak
about how lucky they were to have Cleo accept the crazy, stubborn,
frustrating Kavanaghs, and that he hoped they could live up to the
high example she and her sister set for familial love. He ended the
speech by toasting the happy couple.

The audience applauded and cheered as he
handed the microphone onto Reece. They hugged then Reece and Cleo
took center stage.

"I, for one, can't wait to see how he's going
to top that speech at the wedding," Reece said.

The speeches lasted another ten minutes then
the band started up again and the crowd resumed their
conversations. I waited and watched as Blake made his way toward
me.

"You're still here," he said, sounding a
little out of breath.

"I promised you I would be."

We didn't touch, but every piece of me was
aware of every piece of him. His bright blue eyes searched my face
then he suddenly took my hand. "Come outside with me?"

I nodded and he led me through the tall
arched doors onto the balcony. The evening was cool and goosebumps
prickled my skin. He shed his jacket and placed it around my
shoulders. It smelled like his aftershave and the baser, headier
scent of Blake.

"Your speech was…" I couldn't think of the
right words. How to tell him it had touched me so deeply that I
would never be the same? "Epic," I finished lamely with a
wince.

He smiled and tugged the lapels of the jacket
to close it over my chest. He didn't let go. "I hate giving
speeches."

"Nobody would have known from that. It was
perfect."

"I get it, Cassie. I understand your fear.
You've been through a lot, lost a lot." His knuckles skimmed the
underside of my jaw. "But you have to trust me. You're precious to
me. The most precious thing in the world. I won't hurt you."

I blinked back the tears, never far away
lately. "I know. And I've decided to take the risk. It's worth it,
Blake. You're worth it. I love you."

His chest expanded, straining the seams of
his shirt. A smile flittered over his lips, disappeared then
reappeared again like a shy butterfly. "Truly?" he asked,
husky.