The Calendar of New Beginnings (27 page)

I only ask that you let me.

This is hard to write, and I’m crying, partly because I know you’re probably crying as you read this. But you’ll know when you’re ready to start being open again, putting yourself out there. As someone who had the privilege of being loved by you, no one knows better how much love you have to give.

Give it, my love, when the time comes.

I’ll be there, rooting you on, wishing you every happiness always.

I love you,

Kim

“Do you go to pieces every time you read this?” Lucy asked, handing him the letter and wiping at the tears swimming down his face.

He slipped the letter back into his jacket, feeling the love in it against his rapidly beating heart. “Yeah, but I needed you to know…oh God…that you helped me open my heart again. And that Kim is rooting for you and me. Things will only get easier from here.”

“Will they?” she asked, searching his face. “I just read one of the most heartbreaking and brave letters imaginable after hearing you say you
love
me.”

He had to grip his knees to control the trembling of his hands.

“Andy, what I feel for you is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for another person. It’s just… I love you so much, and you’ve already been through so much with Kim. I…”

When she paused, he couldn’t draw in a solid breath.

“I don’t want you to get hurt again. I…want to be with you, but there’s so much we don’t know. What happens when I leave? I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to take photos up to my standards again, but I
want
to keep working. To keep traveling. I don’t know—”

He pressed his finger to her mouth. “I know it’s hard to live with all those questions. All I can promise is that I’m here and that I love you. Don’t worry about hurting me. That’s the wrong perspective. Focus on loving me—for as long as you want to.”

Her hands cupped his face. “Even though we just kissed for the first time, I can’t imagine ever wanting to stop loving you.”

As far as he was concerned, that was the only thing that mattered. “So when the questions come up—for both of us—let me hold you and kiss you and tell you that. We’ll face things together.”

She looked down and fiddled with the edge of his T-shirt. “And what about sex? At some point, we’ll want to do that too, right? Of course we will. We love each other. Doesn’t that scare you?”

This time he gulped. “It does a little. It would be another big enough step for both of us. When we end up making love, we’ll talk things through. There’s no need to rush anything.”

The healthy adult male inside him knew what he wanted. Hot sex. Meaningful sex. It had been a long time, and yes, it would mean severing yet another connection with Kim, but it would also be a happy step forward if it was where he and Lucy decided to go. And after kissing her just now, he wanted to go there.
 

But he was also older and wiser. A lot was changing—in her life and between them. He wanted them both to feel comfortable and to take care with each other.

“So are we dating now?” she blurted out. “I mean, showing me Kim’s letter seems to imply that and more. I mean, neither one of us is the booty-call type unless you have some really dark secrets I can’t imagine, and I think I just said ‘I mean’ twice. I’m babbling.”

“You did repeat that.” He couldn’t help the slow smile he gave her. “I like ‘booty’ as much as any guy, but that’s not my thing. And please don’t ever sext me while I’m at work. When Kim and I were first married, she did it as a joke, and I just happened to have my phone lying on my desk. The nurse I was talking to saw the message when my screen lit up, and she dropped a patient’s file.”

Holy crap. Why had he told her that?
 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you stories like that.”
 

“Like what?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “It seems silly for you to say that after showing me her letter. Andy, you were
married.
You have stories. It’s all right if you talk about Kim. You always did before.”

Yeah, he had, but somehow everything had changed. “I don’t…oh hell…I don’t want you to ever think I’m comparing you to her. I mean—heck, now I’m saying it—I didn’t want her letter to imply you’re…”

“The consolation prize?” she asked in that bold-as-brass Lucy way of hers. “If you feel weird, tell me. I’m glad you showed me the letter, Andy. You never mentioned it to me before.”

He hadn’t been able to—not even in an email. He’d been too raw, and the words were the final ones he had from his wife. For a long time, he hadn’t been ready to share them. Someday he’d show it to Danny when he was older, but not for years.

“I never want you to stop remembering Kim or your life with her,” Lucy went on. “It’s not just important to you, but to Danny. I only want…”

“What do you want?” he asked, so bowled over by her, by
this
, that he couldn’t see straight.

She lifted her shoulder. “I only want us to be honest with each other. Like you did when you showed me the letter. This
is
weird. We’ve been best friends forever, and now I suddenly want to jump your bones.”

He couldn’t help it. He started laughing. “You want to jump my bones? Did you have to say it that way?” But then he realized why she had. Lucy O’Brien was tough, and when she was scared, she got tougher. This was uncharted territory. “How about we try calling it making love?”

And that was all it took to make tough-as-nails Lucy O’Brien squirm before his eyes.

“I mean it,” he said, wanting to squirm a little himself. “We
love
each other—even if this other kind of love is new. We know almost everything there is to know about each other. And now we want to be together. When we decide to have sex, it won’t just be sex. Honestly, I wouldn’t want it to be. We both care too much about each other for something that simple.”

“What if this whole I-want-to-kiss-your-face-off thing fades?” she asked, her eyes vulnerable. “Maybe we won’t make it to sex.”

“I would never have showed you that letter if I believed that,” he said, and he realized it was the God’s honest truth.

Because he needed the confidence building as much as she seemed to, he leaned in and kissed her again. She made a show of trying to keep reserved, but soon she was fisting her hands in his hair and opening her mouth, giving him a whole other impression of heaven on earth. This time he couldn’t stop himself from running his hands down the sides of her body, and when she inched back on his lap to make space, he set those same hands to her breasts.
 

She moaned into his mouth, and the kiss turned wild. His tongue thrust into her mouth, and she met him stroke for stroke. She shifted in his arms until she was straddling him, and he almost lost control when he felt her core press against him.

“Okay,” he said, breathing hard. “Now we’d really better slow down.”

She gave him some space, thank God, but stayed close enough for him to stroke her back. “I guess we might be heading toward sex, after all,” she said, gasping for air.

“Seems so,” he said, smiling softly against her hair. “Would you go to dinner with me sometime soon? After all this kissing, the least I can do is take you out and show you a good time.”

“So we
are
dating,” she said, making a face. “This is so weird! We’ve hung out a million times, but this feels different.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Will you go?”

“If we go out together, people are going to know. Are you ready for that to happen? Maybe we should wait a while? Until we’re more sure.”

He shook his head. “People are already talking because that’s what this town does. I would like to take you out and have some fun. What do you say?”

“Okay,” she said softly. “Sounds like a plan. But you don’t need to fuss and bring me flowers. I’m low-maintenance.”

He was going to go the extra mile because she didn’t expect it. Because he deserved it. They both did.

“What are we going to do about our families?” she asked, her mouth twisting. “They’re going to know something is up.”

“I’ll tell them we’re starting to date, but it’s early so they need to leave us alone.” Yeah, that would work. His mind flashed back to his earlier Sibling Sharing Time, as Matt had called it.

“Our mothers are going to be thrilled,” she said, laying her head against his shoulder. “What are you going to tell Danny?”

He took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I’ll tell him you’re really special to me and that I like having you around a lot. And that his mom really liked you too.”

Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears.

“You mentioned it before. Kinda. But you like kids, right?”
 

“I love them.” She leaned back, smiling. “And I would never do anything to hurt him.”

“That’s not what I was asking,” he said, his voice gruff.

“Yes, it was.” Her voice was whisper-soft as she traced his brow. “It’s okay. Kim will always be his mother, but I’d like to be his friend.”

Okay, so it hadn’t gotten easier after the kiss and showing her the letter. His ribcage felt like it was inside a trash compactor. He didn’t think Danny would fully understand what it meant for him to
like
a woman other than his mother. But it still worried him.

“It will be fine,” he told her, making himself smile.

“We have a lot of things to talk about,” she said, crossing her arms behind his neck.

“Good thing we’ve had all that practice talking,” he replied, sliding his hands down her back to her hips. “There are a few areas where we still need some practice.”

“Like I haven’t heard that before.”

“I don’t mean it to be a cliché.” He tugged her closer against his body again. “I’m glad you kissed me back this time, Lucy.”

“Thank God for the subconscious mind,” she said, laughing under her breath.

“Shut up,” he replied and kissed her senseless.

Chapter 19      

Moira was nervous about her meeting with Chase Parker. Evan had shown her around the center’s temporary location at Emmits Merriam University a couple days ago. The tour had made her more excited about the opportunity, but there hadn’t been a single butterfly in her stomach from start to finish. Of course, she’d been on cloud nine from the happy news that her brother and Lucy were dating—the whole family was elated. Plus, Evan was funny and approachable and kind of geeky, it had turned out, once you got over the whole billionaire genius inventor thing.

Then there was Chase. Totally different ball of wax.

He was coming to town for meetings, and he’d asked to meet her at High Stakes, Chef T’s fancy restaurant in the Grand Mountain Hotel, on Friday afternoon.
 

Moira arrived in a navy business suit, one she’d made a special trip to her apartment in Denver to pick up. The hostess immediately ushered her into a private dining room and closed the door behind her.

The man she’d researched thoroughly rose from the end of the long table where he’d been checking his phone. He was tall and ruggedly handsome—the kind of man who still wore his Wyoming rancher heritage in his broad shoulders but who’d found a way to wear the sophistication of an Italian suit with total ease.
 

Power radiated from him, and Moira fought with the raw awareness he generated in her. Most women found Chase Parker handsome, and she was unhappy to discover she was one of them.

“Hello, Moira,” he said in a baritone voice. “I’m Chase Parker. It’s nice to finally meet you. Evan has been telling me good things about you.”

He didn’t span the distance between them to shake her hand. Unlike Evan, who was eager and somewhat jittery, Chase was the kind of man who expected people to come to him. Moira had rather expected that.

“Mr. Parker,” she responded. As she walked down the long length of the private table, her eyes fell on the copy of her resume laid out carefully by Chase’s phone.

“Chase,” he corrected, taking the hand she extended to him in a firm clasp.

“Thank you for flying out to meet me,” she said. “I told Evan I would have been happy to visit you at headquarters. I know you’re a busy man.”

He gestured to the chair to his right. “Please sit. This project is important to Evan, and given the press the Artemis Institute is receiving, I want to make sure it receives the proper attention from the ground up. We’re here today to see if you might be the anchor. Evan seems to think so.”

She took a seat and crossed her legs. “I’m glad Evan has expressed such faith in me. Not that I’m surprised. My cousin, Jill Hale, has been working on him. Plus, we’re the same age, and Evan wants the institute’s director to be young and local. I fit the bill. But we both know there’s more to running a center like Artemis. I hope I’ll be able to persuade you that I’m up to the task.”

She’d thoroughly researched Quid-Atch and concluded she wanted to be a part of a company like that, one with a global reach and vision. That she could do so in Dare Valley was a bonus. The more time she spent here, surrounded by her family, the less she liked the thought of leaving.