The Case of Lisandra P. (7 page)

Eva Maria takes a sip of maté. The newspaper lies on the table, unread. Estéban comes into the kitchen to make his breakfast.

“Morning, Mama. Not too tired?”

Estéban heads over to the fridge.

“I'm sorry about last night . . . for coming into your room like that. But since I saw a light, I thought that—”

Estéban stops. Embarrassed. He runs his fingers through his hair. Eva Maria looks up at him.

“What did you think?”

“Nothing.”

Eva Maria takes a sip of maté.

“I was working.”

“I saw that. You have a lot of work at the moment.”

“Yes.”

Estéban busies himself by the toaster. Eva Maria gets to her feet.

“I'm off.”

Estéban turns around.

“But it's Saturday.”

“So?”

“You don't work on Saturday.”

“I've got errands.”

“Errands?”

“Yes, I feel like going out.”

“Oh, good idea . . . I'll come with you! I feel like going out, too.”

“I'd rather go on my own, forgive me . . . I—I'm going shopping for clothes. You'll get bored waiting for me.”

“Clothes? But you haven't bought anything in ages.”

“Well, you see, anything can happen.”

Eva Maria leaves the kitchen. The door slams. Estéban turns around. He parts the curtain at the window. He watches Eva Maria walking down the street. A backpack on one shoulder. He's never seen that backpack. No, wait a minute. It looks like Stella's backpack. Estéban watches as Eva Maria boards the bus. He can't get over it. For the first time in years, it's not to go to work. “You see, anything can happen.” Estéban smiles. The shadow of the bus passes over his face. Estéban's eyes are gleaming.

Eva Maria puts the backpack on the table. Vittorio is sitting opposite her.

“I'm so glad to see you,” he says.

“You're going to be disappointed. I haven't found anything.”

Eva Maria takes out a thick folder.

“I listened to all the cassettes, even the most neutral ones, even the most friendly ones, but I didn't find anything. I'm so sorry, maybe I missed something; it's not crystal clear, you can interpret things so many ways, and above all I don't know your patients well enough—we already made one mistake with Alicia. I brought you all the transcriptions—you're the only one who might be able to see clearly into all these sessions, maybe you'll find something. I'll leave them with the guard so that you can read them again at your leisure.”

“No, don't do that, they would read them and they'd be bound to ask me questions. Give them to my lawyer instead—but did you say that you have them all?”

Eva Maria hesitates. Ever so briefly. For a split second.

“Yes.”

Vittorio joins his hands. In a gesture of answered prayer.

“So you have Felipe's, then?”

“Felipe?”

Eva Maria thinks, then says, “The guy who was having problems with his wife.”

“You could put it that way. So you have it, right? I have to check something. I thought about it two nights ago and it's been bugging me ever since. I have to see if I'm right.”

Eva Maria opens the folder. She hunts among the many typed pages. She does indeed remember that session, a rather tense one, but nothing particularly unpleasant. Vittorio, however, seems sure of what he has said.

“Do you mind reading it to me? I'm always better at listening than reading. Read me everything; I want to hear it all, from the first to the last word.”

Eva Maria begins reading. Vittorio closes his eyes. Felipe's face comes to him. His body, too. His gestures. It's like when he used to listen to the cassettes again in the evening alone in his office. Without thinking, Vittorio's hand closes around the shape of a glass, a brandy glass. His attention focused on Eva Maria's voice.

VITTORIO

Good morning.

FELIPE

Morning.

VITTORIO

Am I mistaken, or is something bothering you?

FELIPE

As Borges used to say, “A gentleman can only be interested in lost causes.” We had another argument.

VITTORIO

With your wife?

FELIPE

Who else would it be?

VITTORIO

What about?

FELIPE

About everything; she never stops, she finds fault with me over everything.

VITTORIO

But what exactly was it, during this most recent argument?

FELIPE

I'll tell you, I don't even know how it started. All I do know is that it always ends in the same way.

VITTORIO

Meaning?

FELIPE

She begins to cry and scream and hurl insults at me.

VITTORIO

And what do you do?

FELIPE

Nothing. I go into my study and wait for it to blow over. There's nothing I can do.

VITTORIO

Perhaps you should talk, stick up for yourself, if you think she's attacking you unfairly.

FELIPE

Of course she's attacking me unfairly! But there's nothing I can say. Have you ever tried to talk to a woman who's in the middle of screaming?

VITTORIO

Haven't you?

FELIPE

What do you mean by that?

VITTORIO

Was your argument about your little boy again?

FELIPE

I don't know; it might've been.

VITTORIO

Yes or no?

FELIPE

She didn't want to take him to the park. I told her that a little boy can't stay shut inside all day long. A boy needs physical exercise.
Mens sana in corpore sano.

VITTORIO

And she didn't appreciate your remark.

FELIPE

Apparently not.

VITTORIO

How did she react?

FELIPE

I told you. The way she always does. She went into a state, began crying, screaming at me, and calling me every name in the book. In front of the boy, on top of it.

VITTORIO

So you went into your study.

FELIPE

Well, I asked her to be quiet. Because of the boy. But she shouted even louder. I gave her fair warning. She should have shut up.

VITTORIO

Fair warning about what?

FELIPE

That I would slap her.

VITTORIO

You slapped your wife?

FELIPE

She was asking for it.

VITTORIO

That's your opinion. We'll get back to that. Tell me what happened next.

FELIPE

There's nothing to tell. She went out.

VITTORIO

You didn't go after her to apologize?

FELIPE

The boy was really frightened when I stood up, but I apologized. I explained that these are things that happen when grown-ups get into big arguments.

VITTORIO

And did you apologize to your wife?

FELIPE

She acts as if I don't exist. She took her things. She's sleeping in the other bedroom. If she thinks I'm going to give in . . .

VITTORIO

Is this the first time?

FELIPE

Yes. We've always slept together.

VITTORIO

What I meant is, is this the first time you've slapped her?

FELIPE

What do you think? That I beat my wife?

VITTORIO

I don't think anything, I simply wanted to know whether it was the first time you had come to blows. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I do get the impression that things have not been going well between you and your wife since your son was born.

FELIPE

Indeed, you are mistaken.

VITTORIO

How was your wife's pregnancy? You've never told me about that period.

FELIPE

Her pregnancy went very well, thank you, Doctor! After all, as St. Jerome says, “Pregnancy is no more than a swelling of the uterus.”

VITTORIO

Spare me, please stop talking through quotations. I've already told you a hundred times, it's
your
words I want to hear.

FELIPE

What do you want me to say? You accused me of not talking about my wife's pregnancy. I'm talking about it as best I can.

VITTORIO

I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm simply taking the liberty of pointing out that you often argue about your child.

FELIPE

And I tell you you're barking up the wrong tree.

VITTORIO

I'm not barking up the wrong tree, I'm trying to find an explanation.

FELIPE

There is no explanation; we argue—we argue, that's all.

VITTORIO

Why don't you want it to be about your child? It happens a lot with couples.

FELIPE

She wanted that child; there is no reason for us to argue over him.

VITTORIO

“She wanted that child.” Why? And you didn't?

FELIPE

Of course I did.

VITTORIO

For a split second there, I might have believed the opposite.

FELIPE

You should never trust a split second.

VITTORIO

Here, I do. You didn't want a child?

FELIPE

Stop asking me that! I told you I did.

VITTORIO

You see, it's not very pleasant when someone has to worm it out of you.

FELIPE

I don't like your tone, Doctor.

VITTORIO

It's not my tone that you don't like, it's my question; you didn't want a child, is that it? You reluctantly agreed to have a child, maybe to please your wife. And now your wife has realized that she forced you into having a child with her and she cannot stand the thought. She's making you pay the price of your reluctance and her remorse.

FELIPE

Of course I wanted a child, perhaps not as much as she did, but of course I wanted a child—who doesn't want a child?

VITTORIO

Then why didn't you take him to the park yourself? Don't you look after your son?

FELIPE

But of course I look after my brother.

VITTORIO

Your brother?

FELIPE

What do you mean, my brother?

“Slow down, Eva Maria.”

 

VITTORIO

You just said, “But of course I look after my brother.”

FELIPE

I said “my son.”

VITTORIO

No, you said “my brother.”

FELIPE

Well, I meant to say “my son”—I made a mistake; everyone makes them.

VITTORIO

No, not everyone. You see, session after session, no matter where we start, we always end up back with your brother.

FELIPE

No, we don't always end up back with my brother. I made a mistake; let's not make a big deal about it.

VITTORIO

Do you miss him?

FELIPE

Who?

VITTORIO

Your brother.

FELIPE

Not at all.

VITTORIO

How long has it been now, since he died?

FELIPE

I don't keep track.

VITTORIO

Does your son remind you of your brother?

FELIPE

Not at all; why do you say that?

VITTORIO

How old is your son now? Around four years old, isn't he? When your brother was four, you were six, which is when memories begin. Maybe subconsciously your little boy reminds you of your brother.

FELIPE

No, he doesn't remind me of my brother. Not at all.

VITTORIO

You reproached your mother for loving your brother more than she loved you. Maybe you think your wife loves your child more than she loves you?

FELIPE

If it pleases you to think so.

VITTORIO

It doesn't please me, Felipe. How am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me everything? I get the impression you are hiding things from me.

FELIPE

I'm not hiding anything.

VITTORIO

You're not hiding anything?

FELIPE

No.

VITTORIO

Then if you're not hiding anything, I'll tell you what I think. I think your wife wants to leave you and she doesn't dare tell you. These repeated arguments are her way of trying to get through to you. She doesn't dare take responsibility for causing the breakup, and she is waiting for it to come from you, so she's trying to drive you over the edge.

FELIPE

Do you really think she wants to leave? What about the boy?

VITTORIO

I think it's not easy for a woman to abandon her child. Maybe she can't get used to being a mother; maybe she can't find her place. It happens; there are women who don't accept their children. At least, not if it means sacrificing their own life. Maybe she's not happy with you anymore. Maybe she has a lover.

FELIPE

She doesn't have a lover.

VITTORIO

How do you know?

FELIPE

I would know.

VITTORIO

The very principle of a lover is that the husband doesn't know he exists.

FELIPE

It's not possible. I did everything I could so she could get this child. She can't leave because of him.

VITTORIO

And when you say “so she could
get
this child,” what am I supposed to make of that?

FELIPE

Nothing. You're not supposed to make anything of it.

VITTORIO

Forgive me for belaboring this, but for her to
get
a child, that is a rather strange expression to use to refer to pregnancy.

FELIPE

What do you want me to say? That we adopted our child, well then, so be it: we adopted our child. It's not a crime.

VITTORIO

But you told me your wife was pregnant.

FELIPE

She wasn't pregnant. We tried for two years and finally adopted.

VITTORIO

Why did you never tell me about this?

FELIPE

I tell you about my problems and it wasn't a problem.

VITTORIO

Maybe the adoption was not such an easy thing for her.

FELIPE

She was overjoyed when she saw the little baby. She wanted a child so badly. It was afterward that she changed. Later. After a few months had gone by.

VITTORIO

You really should talk to her about it. Having a child of your own or someone else's child is not the same thing, no matter what people say. To make it become the same thing, you have to want it. It requires acceptance on a psychological level. Great serenity. Your wife still doesn't know that you come to see me.

FELIPE

No.

VITTORIO

Why don't you tell her?

FELIPE

It's none of her business.

VITTORIO

You should tell her. You could even come with her.

FELIPE

Are you kidding? There's nothing for her here.

VITTORIO

You know, I do consult with couples. You should come with her. At least once. Maybe in my presence you could get some things out into the open, clarify them.

FELIPE

All she'll do is ask you questions about me.

VITTORIO

What sort of questions?

FELIPE

I don't know, she'll try to find things out. But there's nothing to find out. I love her, I've never cheated on her, I've never hurt her.

VITTORIO

Apart from that slap.

FELIPE

She was asking for it, she was screaming in my face—I couldn't get her to shut up—and then the boy was there; it was as if that was just what she was waiting for.

VITTORIO

Maybe.

FELIPE

What do you mean, “maybe”?

VITTORIO

Maybe she was waiting for precisely that. Maybe she wanted to prove to herself that you could be violent.

FELIPE

What do you mean?

VITTORIO

You really should talk to her.

FELIPE

You think she wants to leave me.

VITTORIO

I don't know; I said that mainly to get you up against the wall.

FELIPE

You, too.

VITTORIO

Me, too. You should ask her, quite simply. Things can only get better through dialogue.

FELIPE

She doesn't talk to me anymore.

VITTORIO

You managed to get other people to talk.

FELIPE

What did you say?

VITTORIO

Nothing. Time is up, Felipe; I have another patient in five minutes. Think about everything we've just said;
we'll talk about it again next time. You know the way out.

FELIPE

Yes, I do. I can trust you, can't I?

VITTORIO

Trust me?

FELIPE

You won't say anything.

VITTORIO

Say anything about what?

FELIPE

Well, about it.

VITTORIO

What “it”?

FELIPE

The adoption.

VITTORIO

Well then, just say so! Call things by their name. Adoption, as you say, “is not a crime.” No, I won't say anything. It's my job, to know how to keep quiet.