The Changeling (Book One of The Síofra Chronicles) (22 page)

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Are you sure I can do this?" I asked, staring at the Pool in front of me.  I didn't think he believed me that I wasn't trying to stick around for his sake, but the conversation had grown sufficiently awkward and uncomfortable that we had silently agreed to drop it and move on.  I hadn't realized how much I’d missed spending time with him until he had suggested we move to the Pool of Dreams and work on my skills. 

"I know you can do this
, Cassie." he encouraged, giving me a small smile, making my breath catch in my throat. 

"But what if I can't think the right thoughts again?  What if I mess up?"

"You won't," he soothed.  "I'm right here with you, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you.  You have to trust me.  Do you trust me?"

I let my eyes slide over his face, taking in his
gentle green eyes, his golden hair, his soft lips, and I knew I did. I trusted him with my life.  He hadn't spent all that time fighting me to make a choice just to lose me in a nightmare.

“I
trust you."

He reached down and touched the water with his fingertips.  Ripples appeared on the surface and moved outward in expanding rings
, tinting the water crimson, and a dark wooded area appeared in front of me.

I watched a young girl standing in a small clearing, her clear green eyes filled with anxiety
, and I felt a matching panic rise in me.  Her green eyes were so like my own.

"Is she
a Síofra?" I asked, my heart racing.

"Young, but I believe so," Aleksander frowned, his eyes riveted on the water.

The girl whirled to look behind her and my skin prickled with fear alongside hers.  Her face twisted and tears filled her eyes.  She was panicking.

"Put your hand in the water
, Cassie," Aleksander urged next to me. 

I pushed my hands toward the water but hesitated at the surface.  Fear gripped me as a sick sense of
déjà vu settled in.  This nightmare was too familiar, the shadows of the bare trees bent in the background screaming at me even as bile rose in my throat.

"I can't
!" I said, the fear immobilizing me.  I wanted to turn away, to bury my face in Aleksander's side, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene in front of me.  It was my own nightmare playing out in front of me, and seeing it happening to another Síofra made me break out in a cold sweat. 

"Yes you can," he
urged. He moved closer to me, his hand rubbing small comforting circles on my back.  "You can do this, Cassie.  She needs you to be strong for her."

My heartbeat raced as the shadow appeared in front of the girl.  She screamed
, and I felt ice slide down my spine as I remembered being in her position, knowing the creature was mocking her. It filled me with dread.  The girl broke free and backed up rapidly, tripping over a root and falling to the ground.  I choked back a sob as the creature leaned over her.

"Do it
, Cassie. Do it now!" Aleksander said anxiously.

I shut my eyes tight and thrust my hand in the water, feeling the slimy cold as my hand pushed through the barrier with a small pop.  The air on the other
side was frigid, and I had to force myself not to pull my hand back out.

"Now
, Cassie! Use your light!"

I thought of Becca, of Miguel, of my mother.  But instead of their faces filled with love and the warmth it always brought me, I saw nothing but disappointment and despair. I had been so awful to everyone. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Try harder! You can do this!"

I focused harder and thought of Dom, of his beautiful blue eyes.  There was something there between us growing stronger every day in his quiet acceptance of me, but instead of acceptance
, I imagined the heartbreak I would bring him if I couldn't love him like he wanted me to. 

"I can't," I sobbed.

"You can!" Aleksander urged, and I felt his warm breath against my face.  His warm hands cupped my cheeks, turning my face toward his.  I opened my eyes, startled, and saw a look of such yearning in his eyes that it startled me.

I inhaled deeply before he pressed his lips to mine.  Time stood still as his lips moved softly against mine
, and for a brief moment, I forgot all about my fear, all about the desolation and loss I knew the girl in the nightmare was feeling, and existed only in his kiss.  My lips moved underneath his and my heart beat erratically as it swelled. Heat built in my chest, spreading out through my body until it burned in my hand.

"You did it,"
he said against my lips.

"Huh?" I
said, dazed.  "What did I do?"

"You set her free."

I blinked and looked back at the water.  He was right. in my hand was a ball of light so pure and strong it was blinding. I yanked my hand back out of the water and saw the empty scene in front of me.  I had rescued the girl from our nightmare just as Aleksander had done for me.  She was free, and I had saved her. 

"I did it!" I cheered excitedly, sitting up
, a smile stretching my face and making my cheeks ache.  "Aleksander! I did it!"

"You did it," he agreed, his voice full of pride as he smiled at me in return.  My breath caught in my throat and I brought a trembling hand to my lips. "You're going to make an amazing Fae."

"You kissed me," I accused. 

"I did." He grinned
sheepishly at me.

"Why?  Why would you kiss me after all those speeches about not letting yourself get too close?"

"I don't know," he said, refusing to meet my eyes.  "I didn't plan on it.  You looked so vulnerable and scared that I would have done anything to take the fear out of your eyes. I've never seen someone overtaken with fear before they even made contact with the Dreaming."

I nodded, breathing hard just thinking about the cold shadow with the mocking laughter.

"It was my nightmare," I said. 

He frowned at me. 
"What do you mean it was
your
nightmare?" he demanded.

"I've had that same exact dream before.  I had it every night for weeks before my birthday.  Sometimes I woke up on my own
. Sometimes a bright light woke me up.  But seeing that space, seeing the look on her face, made it all come back.  That's why I asked you if she was a Síofra."

"That's not possible," he
said, his face draining of color.  "There's no way you could have shared dreams with another Síofra."

I shook my head.  "No, it was the same dream.
The same exact dream.  He was calling her name, taunting her.  He likes to taunt you, to make you afraid until you run. He wants to chase you, and he'll say whatever he can until you bolt. It’s a game to him."

Panic bubbled in my chest again and my blood ran cold
as I imagined the chilling voice whispering in my ears.

"What did it say?” Aleksander asked, his eyes flashing with fear.

"Different things at different times," I confessed.  "But always that he's coming for me and that there’s no place I could hide that he won’t find me."

Aleksander jumped to his feet and ran his hand through his hair, agitated by my confession. 
"Why didn't you say something before?" he demanded.

"I thought it was just a nightmare," I answered defensively, scrambling to my feet next to him.  "And I thought you had seen my nightmares often enough
. You said you saved me from them.  I remember the light—your light—waking me up."

"No
, Cassie." He shook his head.  "I've never saved you from a nightmare like that.  I stopped watching your dreams in the weeks before you came here.  I was with Jackson preparing for your arrival."

"Well someone did
. And whoever it was, I owe them a cookie because in case you didn't notice, it wasn't exactly a run-of-the-mill nightmare."

"No
, of course it wasn't," he agreed, climbing off the rock and pacing.  "It wouldn't have been.  If you were being stalked in your nightmares, if that Síofra was being stalked by the same creature, there's only one thing it could be."

My heart stopped beating.

"What's that?" I said, knowing what he was about to say and wishing I were wrong.  I needed to be wrong.

"It was the Erlking. That's how he's finding you. They’ve figured out how to get into the
Dreaming from the mortal side"

"No," I
gasped. "That's not possible.  I've been a Síofra for two months and it hasn't come for me.  If it knew where to find me, it would have already come for me.  You're wrong."

He shook his head and grasped my arms, forcing me to look at him.
"I'm not wrong, Cassie. I wish I were but I don't think I am.  I'm right about this, and I'm right about your choice.  You need to make it now, Cassie. You don’t know if this thing has found you yet or how close it's gotten to you.  It could be anyone, anything, and you would never know.  You have to declare and get yourself out of harm’s way."

"No," I
exclaimed.  "I'm not ready! This changes nothing!"

"This changes
everything,
" he snapped.  "Go home, Cassie.  Declare yourself as a mortal and go home to your family.  This world is too dangerous for you now and you need to be safe.  You love your family too much to let them go, and I won't let you stay here."

"How the hell can you say that after you kissed me like that? I chased away the nightmare!  This is what I'm meant for
! You've said it yourself!"

"Because I shouldn't have
!" he exploded.  "I shouldn't keep encouraging you.  You cannot stay here because of me, Cassie."

"Oh for goodness
’ sake, Aleksander!  For the last freaking time, I am
not
making a choice to stay here for you.  I like you, and there might be something between us, but you've been pretty clear that you didn't want anything with me and that's fine."

"You say that
—" he said before I cut him off.

"I say that because I mean it," I argued.  "When you kiss me
, it's like you steal all the air and I can't breathe, but that's not enough. I love spending time with you, but I told you a long time ago that I wasn't going to be one of those codependent girls who gives up her whole life for a guy.  And if it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of seeing someone in the real world anyway."

"You're seeing someone?" he gasped, his face looking so stricken I wished at once I could reach into the air and snatch the offending words back.

"Kind of," I said, guilt dropping my heart into my stomach.  "He's just a friend, but he's been asking me to give him a shot, and you made it clear you weren't interested, so I said okay."

"You never mentioned anyone else," he said, his mouth tight
as he refused to meet my eyes.

"It never came up," I said lamely.  "And it's a relatively new development. I met him on my birthday and he agreed to be just friends until recently."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise.  "You met him on your birthday?" he demanded.  "Describe him to me."

"No," I
said, my brows drawing together.  "He's a normal human guy.  He's my friend."

"Are you sure?" His eyes flashed dangerously and he grasped my arms tightly.  "Can you be positive he's not the Erlking
, Cassie?  Do you want to take that risk?"

"Stop it," I argued, wrenching myself from his grasp.  "Dom is not an Erlking.  He's just a guy
who really likes me, and maybe I could like him back if I could stop being so hung up on you!  I can't figure you out.  One day you like me, the next we can't be anything more than what we are.  It's exhausting trying to keep up."

"At least keep your eyes open,"
he begged.  "Think about your dream. Remember the way you felt, the things you saw.  Look for clues.  Erlking know how to hide themselves among the mortals. They've done it for so long.  What are the odds this guy shows up on your birthday, just as you start coming to Otherworld with our magic on your soul?"

"I met him before my first trip here," I
explained.  "There was no Otherworld magic on my soul yet.  He is the one thing I have in my life right now that is uncomplicated and easy.  I know exactly what I get with him, and even if my heart doesn't beat out of my chest with his kisses like it does with yours, I know where I stand.  Are you willing to give me that?"

"I can't right now,"
he said hoarsely.  His eyes were shadowed, pained.  He was holding himself back again, and I felt a stab of sorrow. 

"I didn't think so,
” I said sadly. 

It was hard to walk away
. My body tried to rebel, my shaky legs wanting to stay there with him, but I had my pride.  How many more times did I have to be told he didn't want me? 

Always one more time,
my heart whispered to me.