The Child Whisperer (20 page)

Child Whisperer Tip:
Type 2 children are not slow. They need time. I’ll say that again. Type 2s aren’t slow. They just need tim
e—both for planning and breaks. When Type 2s are engaged, their flow is steady and strong. When they’re living true to themselves, they get things done and they create successful outcomes. The slow, dawdling movement happens when experiences in their life get too pushy or aggressive. If your Type 2 child is shutting down, look at which areas of their life feel out of control and plan a way to change it with them. Then give them a break to just relax and unwind. You will find that your Type 2 child accomplishes plenty and feels much happier if they have time to unwind.

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CHRIS AND ANNE’S STORIES

Ambitious Type 2s!

My Type 2 son Christopher rode his bike across the country when he was 15 years old. While he served a volunteer mission in Thailand for two years, he was given serious responsibilities to lead 200 other volunteers serving all over Thailand, which allowed him to travel to all parts of that country at the young age of 20. He is now the CEO of our company and was entrusted with that role at age 25.

My Type 2 daughter, Anne, studied abroad in France, served as her senior class president, and finished her college degree by age 20. She served an 18-month volunteer mission in Bulgaria at age 21, and speaks three languages fluently. As an Expert at our company, she plays a pivotal role in helping women all over the world feel inspired and connected to our message.

Because we seem to expect ambition to be expressed in a much higher movement, Type 2 children can be perceived as less ambitious. But this is not true! Both of my Type 2 children have proven this wrong with their many pursuits and accomplishments at a very young age. They each achieved their ambitious goals with a lot of planning and follow through—and a lot of belief from their dad and me that they could do it.

Whatever activities your Type 2 child pursues, trust that their more subtle, methodical nature is their natural movement, even when being ambitious!

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These challenges seem like easy issues to work with when you look at the great joys these children are. Their easy-going nature makes them mellow, snuggly babies. And as they grow, they are pleasant and affectionate—especially when they are allowed to just be themselves. If you worry that you have pushed your Type 2 child too intensely, you can change that pattern right now. Type 2 children want their parents to both hear and honor their feelings; they will respond to your genuine intention to do just that, no matter how old they are.

Your Type 2 child’s naturally peaceful energy invites everyone to slow down and connect emotionally. These children have a genuine concern for the feelings of others and an innate ability to put others at ease. Your Type 2 child is truly a great gift for your family to have received—take a moment to tell them that today in a quiet moment between the two of you. All children yearn to be recognized for who they are. And too often, Type 2s feel overlooked or invisible. They need to know that you see them as an immense gift to your family and to the world.

The Type 2 Sensitive Daughter

Type 2 daughters are sweet and kind. Their energy is soft, gentle, and sensitive—what our culture generally recognizes and values as a feminine expression. In fact, women of other Types often try to mimic this quality of energy in order to be seen as more feminine. Type 2 daughters like to make things pretty, decorating their rooms and their home. They are thoughtful and often share sweet notes or little gifts to make others feel special and connected.

As they grow, they may worry about being too soft, too nice, or unable to stand their ground and share their feelings. These girls want to show up in the world and be heard, so they may try to take on a tougher outer exterior. But it backfires—they actually end up feeling more invisible than ever! Share the information you have learned in this book and tell your daughter that she can offer great peace to this world when she lives true to her sensitive nature.

The opposite can also happen. A Type 2 daughter may become
so
concerned about others’ feelings and comfort that she doesn’t acknowledge or speak up for her own needs at all. Constantly giving without receiving takes an emotional and physical toll on these sensitive girls. They may state their needs in a way that seems less urgent than they actually feel. When your Type 2 daughter says what she needs or wants, listen up.

As I have come to better understand my Type 2 daughter Anne’s nature, the more I have been able to support her in staying true to herself and to trust her gentle power. I started to develop this information about Types when Anne was a teenager. My sense is if I had not come to these understandings of what Type 2 energy is and recognized it in her, she would have been more likely to model her life after me and my Energy Type. Due to her more sensitive composition, I believe it would have put a tremendous amount of stress on her body and caused unnecessary illness and health problems. I am grateful to have a daughter who recognizes the value of her more subtle nature and is a role model for other Type 2 females.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Whatever you do, honor your Type 2 daughter’s sensitivity as strong and beautiful. Teach her that her gentle, elegant nature is a gift.

The Type 2 Sensitive Son

Type 2 sons are gentle and considerate. Naturally attentive, easy-going, and attuned to details, they have great strengths that can create success for them from childhood to adulthood. But Type 2 energy is not typically valued in most cultures as masculine. We expect our sons to be more aggressive, rambunctious, and noisy than a Type 2 boy usually feels comfortable being. They are naturally more sensitive and connected. But from a young age, Type 2 boys are often sent messages—both directly and indirectly—that they need to toughen up and act more manly.

I have met many grown Type 2 men who consistently received these messages as they grew up. These men struggled with feelings of being weak and incompetent. My husband is a Type 2 who was raised by a Type 2 dad. Even though his dad offered him a more gentle expression of masculinity, Jonathan was living in conflict with who he was by the time he hit his teens, due to the cultural expectation for him to be more aggressive in order to be a true man. He has healed a lot of false expectations of himself that he could never achieve naturally and is very comfortable with his more subtle masculine nature.

I am grateful to have a Type 2 son who, at a much younger age than his father, learned to value his true nature. Chris is a kind man with great strengths and attributes that support him in all areas of his life. I respect his nature and mindfully support and acknowledge it as his mother. As I look back at Chris’s early years, he was more subdued and quiet in his presence in the family, but he was very aware of every little detail that was going on. When we reminisce, I am always surprised by how much Chris was paying attention to the details of our day-to-day life, and how much he took in without letting on!

Child Whisperer Tip:
Allow your Type 2 son to be emotionally expressive in your presence without negative judgment. Recognize that he may need to be given time to cry and be validated for his steady, flowing energy that is his greatest strength.

The Type 2 Child Through the Years

Type 2 children express their true nature from birth to adulthood in many ways. The following will give you some of the most common general tendencies they may express in their first 18 years of life.

At each developmental stage, your child has a specific emotional need. This is true for all Types of children. I offer some specific phrases to share with your Type 2 child to help meet each need. Use these phrases in words, or consider how you could express these phrases in action to help your child feel loved and wanted in each stage of their life. When your child is supported in living true to their nature, they can more easily enter their adult experience ready and able to create emotionally healthy relationships. You can meet your child’s developmental emotional needs in many ways—just use my examples as a way to get you thinking.

Baby 0 to 18 months

Primary Emotional Need:
To be validated for their gentle, sensitive nature and to be supported in starting to explore and sense the world around them.

The Type 2 baby is easy-going. All Type 2s start their life experience with a primary connection to the emotional experience of this world. People around these babies can sense their soothing, sensitive nature. You may hear people comment that your Type 2 baby is so calm. These children truly do express their natural gift to calm and connect others from the very beginnings of their life. A characteristic very typical of all Type 2 babies is their desire to cuddle and even burrow into their moms.

Type 2s are also very attentive babies. They notice and respond to changes and items that are different or out of place. Notice what your baby is noticing—they may draw your attention to beautiful details you hadn’t even seen. In one mom’s words about her Type 2 son, “The first snowfall with him was a blast.”

Messages your Type 2 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• Welcome to the world; we’ve been eagerly waiting for your peaceful energy.
  
• We planned and prepared a special place for you.
  
• All your needs are important to us. You can grow at your own pace and we are here for you.
  

• We love your soft, subtle energy—you are a gift to our family.
  
• It’s okay to play; we will make it safe and comfortable for you to explore.
  
• You can be just who you are, and we will always love you.
  
• It’s okay for you to be different from Mom and Dad. We will work out our differences in a way that supports you in feeling heard.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
Type 2 babies need to feel comfortable and safe. They felt very safe and connected to their moms in the womb, so make sure you give your Type 2 infant a little more time to separate from you once they are born. These little cuddlers feel safe and comfortable when swaddled or wrapped up tightly. Consider buying a cozy swaddling wrap for your Type 2 baby.

These babies can also become fussy if their environment feels too harsh or if anything they’re wearing (like clothing, diapers, or blankets) feels irritating. Use fabrics next to their skin that feel plush and soft, and make sure your baby has a soothing, cozy space to just be quiet. This will be a need for the rest of their lives, so if you notice your Type 2 child getting fussy or cranky, move with them to a comfortable space and let them connect with you and express their feelings.

As your baby becomes more interactive, choose toys with textures that feel comfortable to your baby. And be sure to give them plenty of snuggle time with you.

Toddler 18 months to 3 years