The Collected Works of Chogyam Trungpa: Volume One (36 page)

Refugees on the Move

W
E TRAVELED EASTWARD
along the main road to Alado where there is a junction of two rivers; we followed the southern one for a few miles and turned into a valley on its west side. It was much warmer here; the country was green and covered with trees of the holly family as well as bamboos. This valley was thronged with refugees going the same way; when we asked them where they were going to, they said that they were just following the people in front of them. With all these animals on the road there was less and less grazing available; we passed the carcasses of many beasts which had died on the road and they made the air putrid. When we camped it was difficult to find a clean spot; all possible sites were so crowded that there was hardly enough space to stretch the tent ropes. Many of the refugees wanted to consult me; they thought that a party like ours must have a plan. The only answer I could give them was that I had no clearer ideas than themselves; we were simply all going in the same direction. The lamas among the crowds continued to carry on their devotions, and the valley echoed with the sounds of their chanting, their drums, and other musical instruments. The people were wonderfully cheerful, they laughed and joked and sang among themselves. We went on like this for several days. The queen of Nangchen and some of her ministers were in a large group among the refugees; she was still cheerful and welcomed me warmly as we exchanged white scarves. She was a little disturbed about the direction that we were all following and had sent several messengers to different places to make enquiries about alternative routes; none of them had returned. A steep and very high pass lay in front of us which was still under snow. It was a strange sight to watch this dark stream of people looking like a black ribbon stretched over the white landscape of the pass. I walked beside the queen and was surprised to see how tough she was; she preferred to go on foot through the snow rather than to ride. After crossing the pass we went down to a series of valleys; there was more room here for camping and we were no longer distressed by the proximity of dead animals. We followed the valleys circling between the hills; the queen decided to stay with her party in one of the smaller ones, but all the rest of us went on. When we thought that we had crossed the last pass on our route we discovered on the following day that there was an even steeper one rising ahead of us. The road leading up to it was so dangerous that one of our horses with its load fell over the precipice and we were not able to recover anything. At the top we found there was a broad plateau where we could all camp. Karma Tendzin was already there; he was recruiting all the able-bodied men among the refugees for the Resistance army. Lama Ugyen Rinpoche was also camping there with a party of monks; I had not met him before although I had heard a great deal about him, for he was a disciple of my predecessor and also a great friend of Gyalwa Karmapa who used often to consult him on specially perplexing questions. He was an old man and considered it his duty to give advice to a young person like myself. He told me not to go to India but to stay where I was; he thought it strange that I had such a large following. I had to explain to him who everybody was and how some of us had met at the wangkur which I had given at Yak. I said that we all had made up our minds to try to get to India; he was very firm that I should not go with the others, though my friends could do as they liked, and added that this was a request as well as an order. I asked him various questions about Gyalwa Karmapa and my other friends in Central Tibet. He himself could easily have gone with them, but he had not wished to do so. I wanted to know if he thought that it would ever be necessary for him to escape to India and he replied that he thought the time might come, though he was quite sure that this should not be attempted at present, for there was certain to be a lull before such a step would become imperative. He added, “This plateau and all the valleys below it are holy places of pilgrimage. We should all join together here in meditation to gain spiritual strength so that we may carry on with our normal duties.”

Karma Tendzin, the guerilla captain, had his son with him on the plateau; he was not thinking of going to India at that time, being entirely intent upon the work of the Resistance. He could give me no suggestions about what route we should follow or even about the advisability of our attempting to escape or not. On the plateau there was an acute shortage of food, grazing, and space. I pointed out to him that he was the only person who could deal with the situation and direct these vast crowds to spread themselves in different parts of the country. It was impossible for the local inhabitants round here to provide necessities for so many people. He agreed that this should be done; however, he felt that he must first get the able-bodied refugees and the local men to join the Resistance forces. I told him how Pu Dündül was organizing local groups and not allowing anyone who could fight to leave his district. Throughout our travels we had found that in all the villages the men were eager to join in the fighting against the Communists.

A further influx of refugees arrived on the plateau. They had traveled quickly, having little baggage, and had passed a large party coming from Drölma Lhakhang and Yak traveling in a group with Jigme Rinpoche and my bursar who were bringing the heavy baggage loaded on yaks. This group had crossed the Shabye Bridge and had arrived at Lhodzong where they were stopping since they were now uncertain whether or not to continue their journey in view of the fact that the situation around Drölma Lhakhang and Yak seemed to have quieted down. At the same time a messenger came from Kino Tulku’s monastery to tell him that all was quiet there. My own party had again been growing restless, feeling that perhaps our flight into the unknown had been unnecessary. This led to a long discussion, since it seemed as if Lama Ugyen’s advice might after all be right, in which case should we not delay trying to go to India and wait for a lull in the hostilities? In the meantime, I made enquiries from the local people about the country around and about what mountain tracks we would have to follow if we decided to continue on our way to India. They all told me that it would be impossible to travel by the valleys or to cross the mountain ranges at this time of year, for all the rivers would be in spate; which meant in effect that we would have to remain where we were. I myself was quite determined that as soon as it was possible we should carry out our plan to escape. I felt I must inform the party at Lhodzong of what we intended doing; Akong Tulku’s elder brother and one of Kino Tulku’s monks volunteered to take the message. In my letter I said that in any case we intended to make for India; there was no question of turning back. Lama Ugyen, however, took it for granted that we were following his advice and not immediately leaving the plateau, so he urged us to make a pilgrimage to the holy places in the nearby valley and even named a date for us to go there. We were a little doubtful whether it would be possible to cross the high mountain pass which lay in the way and I thought the wisest plan would be for only three of us, namely myself, Akong Tulku, and one monk, to make the attempt under Lama Ugyen’s leadership. When we joined him he asked where were the rest of our party, for he had been very excited at the prospect of conducting our whole group, animals included. I explained to him that the others had not come because we thought there might be difficulties in crossing the pass. Actually when our small party reached it the snow was so deep that we found it impossible to get through.

Most of the refugees had by now gone on to the Nyewo Valley, so the plateau was no longer so crowded. We decided to move to its farther end to a level spot near a lake. Yönten went to Nyewo to get provisions, but found a scarcity there and this made us realize that we must eke out our provisions and rely for the most part on
tsampa
and wild vegetables. Karma Tendzin was also staying at this end of the plateau; he had a battery radio with him and we used to listen in to the news both from Peking and Delhi broadcast in Tibetan. The Peking program was full of propaganda saying how wicked the uprising had been, when the Chinese had only come to Tibet to liberate its people; however, they had now settled all the disturbances and there were very few Resistance troops left in Tibet. The broadcast from Delhi said that the Dalai Lama was already in Mussoorie.

It was a surprise one day when Repön’s son suddenly appeared at our camp. His father had sent him on ahead to tell me that they had sold most of their possessions and animals and had bought extra arms and ammunition from fellow refugees. They had got past the gorge with its difficult piece of road, had crossed the bridge, and were now on the track leading southward where they were waiting until the son could scout out the route ahead and see what camping grounds and grazing were available. I told him all I knew and he went back.

A number of senior lamas had now also arrived on the plateau, having traveled with various groups of refugees. Lama Ugyen thought it would be a good plan if they, together with our party, were to cross the holy mountain to a small valley beyond it, which was in the heart of the pilgrimage country. The local people had suggested to him that the pass could be crossed if they sent unloaded yaks first to tread down the snow, and they had offered to help him in this way. On studying this plan, however, I saw that the valley in question was extremely small; there would be no room for such a large party and the conditions would be so crowded that we should fare even worse than before. I did not want to offend Lama Ugyen so I told him that if the yaks cleared the way, there was no need for us all to go together, my party could follow later. I would let him know if we decided to go first to Nyewo Valley. His party made three attempts with yaks, and the third time they were able to cross the pass. I would certainly have liked to have gone on pilgrimage to these holy places and also to have further talks with Lama Ugyen, but there was no further opportunity to do so. We heard later that when his party reached the valley they found it was so narrow that there was not enough room for them; moreover it was a highly dangerous place where rock falls were frequent and in fact some of their horses were killed by falling stones. Meanwhile Yönten sent some food to us from Nyewo, but stayed on there himself hoping to buy further supplies.

After the talks I had had with Lama Ugyen, I realized how important it was for me to go into retreat for a short time to renew my strength. In any case I thought that we should move nearer to Nyewo and hoped I might find a suitable place for a retreat while on the way there. Climbing down from the plateau we crossed the river below it. We now had to go up a steep zigzag track which led across a pass in a high mountain range. It was dangerously slippery, for here all the ground was covered with a white slimy mud with no vegetation. Had an animal slipped, it would have crashed down on the people behind. The top of the pass was like a knife edge; however, it was easier going down on the other side, where there were trees and undergrowth. We came to a nice little open valley which seemed a good place for a camp; a few refugees were already there at the farther end. In this quiet spot I was even able to go on with my writing; however, the peace did not last for long, for all Repön’s party soon arrived on the scene. They were very considerate and put up their camp about a mile away from ours. A few refugees were passing through who told me that Bursar Tsethar’s party were close behind on their way to join us. Akong Tulku and I walked round the surrounding country until we found a suitable place where one could go into retreat; it was less than a mile from our camp in a wooded spot. It was agreed that visitors could come for an hour in the morning and for a couple of hours in the afternoon if they would bring me some food; I could make my own fires. I took with me my tent, a small shrine, and some books. Here it was possible to relax after so much turmoil, thus gaining spiritual strength in order to face whatever lay ahead.

The first few days I heard some strange animal noises round the tent at night and felt a little uneasy; however, I soon found that these visitors were not dangerous. This part of the country was very different to my part of Tibet; it was warmer and there was a much greater variety of trees and plants and many more animals and birds. The moonlight shone through the trees forming a shadow like lacework on the tent.

One morning, Karma Ngödrup came to see me; he was breathless with excitement telling me that large brown bears had come in the night and had attacked our horses and mules. They had killed one horse and mauled several others; they were returning every night. Several days after this he found a bear’s footprints just outside my tent; others of our party also came to implore me to leave my retreat but I had no fear myself and stayed on where I was. One is ever in the grip of the law of karma, so it is senseless to worry overmuch.

Some days later we received an alarming message from Yönten stating that the Communists were coming through the Nyewo Valley; the refugees were all in a panic trying to find hiding places. I still thought we might stay where we were for a further day, since if the Communists should come there was nothing we could do anyway. The following day another messenger arrived to say that it was a false alarm; some Resistance soldiers had been mistaken for Communist troops.

We already knew that after his mother had been sent to China by the Communists the young king of Derge had organized a Resistance force in East Tibet which had been joined by other local leaders. We now heard that he had been forced to escape accompanied by a number of his ministers with hundreds of refugees following, and they were now close to Lhodzong. They had fought their way from Derge and had been fortunate in suffering few casualties and little loss of baggage. The party had gained such a reputation for bravery that the mere fact of their being in the same neighborhood gave other refugees renewed hope. However, conditions in all the area around Lhodzong were daily becoming more and more trying; refugees were crowding into every valley and the shortage of food and grazing was acute.