The Comedy of Errors (12 page)

ADRIANA
    Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake, he is mad.

Some get
within him
³⁴
, take his sword away.

Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
    Run, master, run, for God’s sake,
take
³⁶
a house.

This is some priory. In, or we are
spoiled.
³⁷

EMILIA
    Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?

ADRIANA
    To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.

Let us come in, that we may bind him fast

And bear him home for his recovery.

ANGELO
    I knew he was not in his perfect wits.

SECOND MERCHANT
    I am sorry now that I did
draw
⁴³
on him.

EMILIA
    How long hath this possession held the man?

ADRIANA
    This week he hath been
heavy
,
sour
,
sad
⁴⁵
,

And much different from the man he was.

But till this afternoon his passion

Ne’er brake into extremity of rage.

EMILIA
    Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea?

Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye

Strayed
his affection in
unlawful
⁵¹
love,

A sin prevailing much in youthful men,

Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing?

Which of these sorrows is he subject to?

ADRIANA
    To none of these, except it be the last,

Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.

EMILIA
    You should for that have
reprehended
⁵⁷
him.

ADRIANA
    Why, so I did.

EMILIA
    Ay, but not rough enough.

ADRIANA
    As roughly as my modesty would let me.

EMILIA
    
Haply
⁶¹
in private.

ADRIANA
    And in
assemblies
⁶²
too.

EMILIA
    Ay, but not enough.

ADRIANA
    It was the
copy of our conference.
⁶⁴

In bed he slept not for my urging it,

At
board
⁶⁶
he fed not for my urging it.

Alone, it was the subject of my theme
⁶⁷
,

In company I often
glancèd
⁶⁸
it:

Still
⁶⁹
did I tell him it was vile and bad.

EMILIA
    And
thereof came it that the man was mad.
⁷⁰

The
venom clamours
⁷¹
of a jealous woman

Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.

It seems his sleeps were hindered by thy
railing
⁷³
,

And thereof comes it that his head is
light.
⁷⁴

Thou say’st his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings:

Unquiet meals make ill digestions.

Thereof the raging fire of fever bred,

And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?

Thou say’st his
sports
⁷⁹
were hindered by thy brawls:

Sweet recreation barred, what doth ensue

But moody and dull melancholy,

Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,

And at
her
⁸³
heels a huge infectious troop

Of pale
distemperatures
⁸⁴
and foes to life?

In food, in sport and
life-preserving rest
⁸⁵

To be disturbed, would
mad or
⁸⁶
man or beast.

The consequence is then thy jealous fits

Have scared thy husband from the use
of
⁸⁸
wits.

LUCIANA
    She never reprehended him but mildly,

When he
demeaned
himself rough,
rude
⁹⁰
and wildly.

Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?

To Adriana

ADRIANA
    She did
betray me to my own reproof.
⁹²

Good people enter and lay hold on him.

EMILIA
    No, not a creature enters in my house.

ADRIANA
    Then let your servants bring my husband forth.

EMILIA
    Neither. He took this place for
sanctuary
⁹⁶
,

And it shall
privilege
⁹⁷
him from your hands

Till I have brought him to his wits again,

Or
lose my labour
in
assaying
⁹⁹
it.

ADRIANA
    I will attend my husband, be his nurse,

Diet
his sickness, for it is my
office
¹⁰¹
,

And will have no
attorney
¹⁰²
but myself,

And therefore let me have him home with me.

EMILIA
    Be patient, for I will not let him stir

Till I have used the
approvèd
¹⁰⁵
means I have,

With wholesome syrups, drugs and holy prayers,

To make of him a
formal
¹⁰⁷
man again.

It is a
branch
¹⁰⁸
and parcel of mine oath,

A charitable duty of my order.

Therefore depart, and leave him here with me.

ADRIANA
    I will not hence and leave my husband here:

And ill it doth beseem your holiness

To separate the husband and the wife.

EMILIA
    Be quiet and depart, thou shalt not have him.

LUCIANA
    Complain unto the duke of this indignity.

ADRIANA
    Come, go, I will fall prostrate at his feet,

And never rise until my tears and prayers

Have won his grace to come in person hither,

And take
perforce
¹¹⁹
my husband from the abbess.

SECOND MERCHANT
    By
this
, I think, the
dial
¹²⁰
points at five:

Anon
¹²¹
, I’m sure the duke himself in person

Comes this way to the melancholy vale,

The place of death and
sorry
¹²³
execution,

Behind the ditches of the abbey here.

ANGELO
    Upon what cause?

SECOND MERCHANT
    To see a reverend Syracusan merchant,

Who
put
¹²⁷
unluckily into this bay

Against the laws and statutes of this town,

Beheaded publicly for his offence.

ANGELO
    See where they come: we will behold his death.

LUCIANA
    Kneel to the duke before he pass the abbey.

DUKE
    Yet once again proclaim it publicly,

If any friend will pay the sum for him,

He shall not die, so much we
tender
¹³⁴
him.

ADRIANA
    Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess.

DUKE
    She is a virtuous and a reverend lady.

It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.

ADRIANA
    May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband —

Whom I made lord of me and all I had,

At your
important
letters
¹⁴⁰
— this ill day

A most
outrageous
¹⁴¹
fit of madness took him,

That
desp’rately
¹⁴²
he hurried through the street,

With him his
bondman
¹⁴³
, all as mad as he,

Doing
displeasure
¹⁴⁴
to the citizens

By rushing in their houses,
bearing thence
¹⁴⁵

Rings, jewels, anything his rage did like.

Once did I get him bound, and sent him home,

Whilst to
take order
¹⁴⁸
for the wrongs I went,

That here and there his fury had committed.

Anon, I
wot
¹⁵⁰
not by what strong escape,

He broke from those that had the guard of him,

And with his mad attendant and himself,

Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,

Met us again and madly
bent
¹⁵⁴
on us,

Chased us away: till raising of more aid,

We came again to bind them. Then they fled

Into this abbey, whither we pursued them,

And here the abbess shuts the gates on us,

And will not
suffer
¹⁵⁹
us to fetch him out,

Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.

Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command

Let him be brought forth, and
borne hence for help.
¹⁶²

DUKE
    Long since thy husband served me in my wars,

And I to thee
engaged
¹⁶⁴
a prince’s word,

When thou didst make him master of thy bed,

To do him all the
grace
¹⁶⁶
and good I could.

Go some of you, knock at the abbey-gate,

And bid the lady abbess come to me.

I will
determine
this before I
stir.
¹⁶⁹

MESSENGER
    O, mistress, mistress,
shift
¹⁷⁰
and save yourself,

My master and his man are both broke loose,

Beaten the maids
a-row
¹⁷²
, and bound the doctor,

Whose beard they have singed off with
brands
¹⁷³
of fire,

And ever as it blazed, they threw on him

Great pails of
puddled mire
¹⁷⁵
to quench the hair.

My master preaches patience to him, and the while

His man with scissors
nicks him like a fool
¹⁷⁷
,

And
sure
¹⁷⁸
, unless you send some present help,

Between them they will kill the conjurer.

ADRIANA
    Peace, fool, thy master and his man are here,

And that is false thou dost report to us.

MESSENGER
    Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true,

I have not breathed almost since I did see it.

He cries for you, and vows if he can
take
¹⁸⁴
you,

To scorch your face and to disfigure you.

Hark, hark! I hear him, mistress: fly, be gone.

DUKE
    Come, stand by me, fear nothing.— Guard with
halberds.
¹⁸⁷

ADRIANA
    Ay me, it is my husband: witness you,

That he
is borne about
¹⁸⁹
invisible.

Even now we housed him in the abbey here,

And now he’s there,
past thought of human reason.
¹⁹¹

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
    Justice, most gracious duke, O, grant me justice,

Even for the service that long since I did thee,

When I
bestrid thee
¹⁹⁴
in the wars, and took

Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood

That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.

EGEON
    Unless the fear of death doth make me
dote
¹⁹⁷
,

I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
    Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there:

She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife,

That hath abusèd and dishonoured me,

Even in the
strength and height of injury.
²⁰²

Beyond imagination is the wrong

That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.

DUKE
    
Discover
²⁰⁵
how, and thou shalt find me just.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
    This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me,

While she with
harlots
²⁰⁷
feasted in my house.

DUKE
    A grievous fault: say, woman, didst thou so?

ADRIANA
    No, my good lord. Myself, he and my sister

Today did dine together.
So befall my soul
²¹⁰
,

As this is false he burdens me withal.

LUCIANA
    Ne’er may I look
on
²¹²
day, nor sleep on night,

But she tells to your highness simple truth.

ANGELO
    O perjured woman! They are both
forsworn
²¹⁴
,

In this the madman justly
chargeth
²¹⁵
them.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
    My liege, I am
advisèd
²¹⁶
what I say,

Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,

Nor
heady-rash
²¹⁸
, provoked with raging ire,

Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
²¹⁹

This woman locked me out this day from dinner;

That goldsmith there, were he not
packed
²²¹
with her,

Could
witness
²²²
it, for he was with me then,

Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,

Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,

Where Balthasar and I did dine together.

Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,

I went to seek him. In the street I met him,

And in his company that gentleman