The Damaged One (7 page)

“Augustus,” she whispered in a voice filled with need.

What was it about the way she said his name? What was it about the sound of her voice, the arousal that made it slightly deeper, the seductiveness that turned it into a caress? He wanted to hear her say his name again and again. At the same time, he wanted to stop her from ever saying it again.

He let go of her hands and released his hold on her body. But she didn’t roll away, she didn’t lay back and wait for his next move. Her fingers immediately sought out the front of his slacks, tugging at his zipper in a way that left no question
of her intentions. Once again following her lead, he roughly pulled the blouse from her body, unhooking her bra with fingers that shook with impatience. As her hand slid inside his slacks and her fingers wrapped themselves around the shaft of his cock, he finally had the satisfaction of feeling her hard nipple against the palm of his hand.

She fell back against the bed, welcome shining brightly in the light of her eyes, the looseness of her hips. Augustus didn’t bother to stand, didn’t care about shedding the last of his clothing. Instead, he knelt between her legs and tugged her hips up as he leaned forward, pressing the head of his cock against her wet cunt. He pushed slowly, testing his control one last time.

Toby cried out as she arched her hips, grabbing handfuls of the bedspread beneath them, her eyes closed. Augustus closed his eyes, too, letting the pleasure of her body wash over him. He pushed deeper inside of her, deeper, until finally only the soft pad of his pubic hair separated his body from hers. He waited a moment, again grabbing hold of that tenuous hold on his control as well as that tiny release of tension he knew would come, would signal that she was ready for whatever he had to offer.

Her breathing slowed just slightly. She let go of the bedding and slid her hands slowly over the tense muscles of his arms. Her feet slid over the folds of his slacks where they still covered his calves. Her hips tilted up just slightly, pulling him just that much further inside of her.

He leaned forward and kissed her lightly, meaning just to graze his lips against hers. But she tasted so good he couldn’t resist pulling her bottom lip into his mouth. She rose up, her hands sliding over his shoulders as she sought out the curls just forming at the base of his neck. He lost his balance, pressing them both down against the mattress as he slid his arms around her and pulled her tighter against him.

As she slid her tongue into his mouth, he began to roll his hips. She gasped as his cock bumped against the swollen tip of her clit. He adjusted slightly so he could apply a perfect pressure to her clit with each movement. She gasped again, finally releasing him so that she could catch her breath as she watched him
deliver the most intense pleasure he was sure she had ever known.

He ran his tongue down her throat one more time as he sought out his real target. He had to stop moving, had to stop the delicious roll of his hips against her tight cunt, to get what he had wanted for what seemed like a lifetime. But finally, the tight pucker of her nipple was against the tip of his tongue, between his teeth. And then he was suckling like a babe, claiming some primal prize that had never really found fulfillment until now.
She arched up against him again, taking as much pleasure from his mouth as she had his cock.

And then he was done playing games. Now he needed more, he needed the pleasure her body had been promising him all night. He reached behind him and grabbed her thighs,
pulling them high on his body before he braced himself against the wooden slats of her headboard. He began to thrust, forgetting his resolution to be gentle as he fell into a quick, satiating rhythm.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, bracing her heels painfully on the back of his thighs to gain some leverage. Her hips moved in rhythm with his, her body not only accepting the rough assault he was offering, but giving it right back. Her fingernails dug into his back as her hands clenched and unclenched
with the building crescendo of her pleasure. The pain mixed with the overstimulation assaulting his every nerve ending, turning into something else, something indescribable. He had never been so focused on a woman, so overwhelmed by the tight, moist silkiness of her cunt, never so eager to cum even as he was eager to make her cum.

He could feel the orgasm building in her body. He could feel the tension in her cunt muscles, could feel the waves of pleasure riding the length of her spine as though it were his spine they were dancing along. And then she bit her bottom lip so hard he thought she might split it in two.

It started with a little tingle, a tug at the edges of his cock. And then it seemed to explode, her muscles rolling and rocking so hard that it was like a million little fingers jerking him off with the grip of a professional arm wrestler. She thrust her hips hard up against him and tightened the grip of her thighs, forcing him to a standstill as a quiver began to work its way from her lower belly to her legs and up again to her arms, her lip.

“Let it go, baby,” he groaned as he watched her fight her own orgasm.

She pressed her head back into the mattress, a scream working its way so slowly through her throat that it might have come directly from her cunt. And then she was over that edge, falling hard as release softened her features and removed the weight of the world from her shoulders. He hadn’t thought it would be possible for her to be more beautiful. But he was wrong.

It pushed him to that cliff, watching her give herself to him, to her body’s response to his touch. He rolled his hips, the remnants of her orgasm still tugging at him, pulling him deeper even as he tried to build that much sought after friction. She moaned as she relaxed her thighs, gave him the space he needed to build to his own orgasm. It only took a moment, only took the feel of her hands caressing his back, the sound of her sighs. The smell of her skin enveloped him, a floral scent that was like nothing he had ever known.

“Toby,” he whispered, the sound of her name so perfect on his lips.

And then his world exploded, burying him in an avalanche of pain and pleasure. He was lost and she was the only lifeline left. He clung to her with all he had.

It was a while before she settled into sleep. Augustus had gotten into the habit of running for the door long before sleep was even an idea, but he lay with Toby until he saw exhaustion pulling at the corner of her beautiful eyes. They talked some, but mostly explored. With the crushing anxiety temporarily sated, they found pleasure in a simple touch, a light kiss. He discovered that she was ticklish along the underside of her ribcage. She discovered that he
was particularly sensitive to the scrape of her fingernails on his nipples.

She turned toward him, even in sleep. He watched her chest move slowly with the ease of her breath, watched the tension of awareness ease away from her face. He pushed a tiny lock of hair out of her face, smiling softly when she reached up to touch where he had touched her.

So beautiful.

He had never watched a woman sleep before. Not even Claire.

Tonight was the first time in three years that he had lain with a woman and not thought of Claire. Not until now. But there really was no comparing Claire and Toby. Claire was so different, not just in her tall, lithe frame and her lighter coloring, but in her personality, as well. Claire was a demanding woman, a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. Claire never would have hesitated, never would have pushed a man out of her bed. Claire was a predator. That was what Augustus had always liked about her.

Toby was more prey. She had an innocence about her that just screamed for someone to protect her. Or take advantage of her. She pretended she didn’t know what she wanted, but once she hit that certain level of arousal, she wouldn’t have stopped until she had everything she desired. Toby was more complex than Claire, more complicated. She was a ball of emotion, a woman who was afraid to after what she craved. Afraid, almost, of her own passions.

Two women. One he loved. One he was, at best, indifferent toward. And yet, one had opened the world of desire to him and the other had pushed him much further than he had ever gone.

Augustus ran his fingers down Toby’s arm, a sadness inexplicably rolling over him.

He had never watched a woman sleep. But there was a time when he watched his siblings sleep, desperation coloring everything around them.

He made promises to them in the dark. Promised he would get them out of the apartment they shared with their mother and her many johns. Promised he would give them a better life than that hand to mouth existence. Promised he would keep the bad people away, that he would never let anyone hurt them.

He had kept two out of the three promises.

Augustus carefully extracted himself from Toby’s entwining limbs and climbed out of the bed. He slipped on his slacks and silently made his way into Toby’s art studio. The recessed lighting from the kitchen and the street lamps glowing in the high windows gave him enough light to see where he was going. He had to pull out his cellphone and switch on a flashlight app, however, when he began opening cabinet doors. He wasn’t quite sure what it was he was looking for, but he was sure there was something here, something that would help him figure out what happened in those final hours of Jackie’s life.

She had more paint than he could imagine a dozen artists using. There was paper, most of it blank, probably for drawing out a quick sketch. There were brushes and chemicals and things he couldn’t name even if he tried. There were frame pieces waiting to be assembled, a dozen different kinds of palettes, all clean and waiting for use. Sketch books lined several shelves in one cabinet, but a quick riffling through the pages showed that most of them were blank.

He found a box pushed deep into one lower cabinet, but it held mementos from another life. There were yearbooks and flyers for school dances. A box filled with cheap costume jewelry and small stones. He found a medicine bottle filled with the white sands of Hawaii. And diaries.

It felt like an invasion of privacy to look at the diaries, but he had to know if any of them dated from the time Toby worked with Jackie. None of them did. Most of the entries were dated more than fifteen years ago. And some of the words that jumped out at him painted a picture he did not want to see. Toby’s father was gone for a very good reason. A tiny part of him, that piece of humanity his mother did not kill, ached for the little girl she once was.

But it hurt more for the little girl Jackie had been.

He pushed the box back in its cupboard and looked around the cavernous room. She didn’t have an office. There wasn’t a desk piled with papers and bills waiting to be paid. The place was fairly tidy except for the pile of books and magazines in the living area. He walked over there, glancing through the book titles as he moved them aside. Mostly fiction. And then he spotted it.

A computer bag.

Augustus snatched up the bag and nearly cried out in victory when he found the slim laptop inside. He quickly settled in the easy chair, glancing over at the bed to be sure she was still soundly asleep. He popped the lid and started the computer up, convinced that if she had any files related to Jackie, this was where they would be.

Cracking her password took Augustus only a second. Most people used simple passwords, like their name, the name of a loved one, or a birthdate. Toby used her middle name, Angelica. Thank God for Foster’s thoroughness.

Toby turned out to be one of those people who keep every email they ever got. Augustus found files that contained emails from five years ago in her email account. It took him awhile to sift through them. He found one or two that referenced patients she had treated at TWU, but that was it. She must have had a university email where she conducted most of her correspondence about patients.

He scrolled through her documents next. There was a file filled with notes and papers she had done for her degree.
Some used words Augustus could never imagine needing to add to his extensive vocabulary. He had to admit to an increase in respect for Toby’s intelligence. There were also letters she’d written to a credit card company, a couple of newspapers, and a bank. Nothing personal. He found notes for the few campaigns she had worked on at Magick, mostly brief notes on products she was charged with designing logos for.

Augustus was beginning to lose patience when he opened a folder called research. He had put it at the bottom of his list of possibilities because he assumed it was research for her schoolwork. Instead, he discovered he had been right. To a degree. But tucked in with notes on childhood trauma, Freud, Jung, and psychotherapy techniques was a folder labeled simply Lucky.

“Bingo,” he whispered.

And then Toby screamed.

It wasn’t really a scream. More of a strangled protest. Augustus glanced at the bed and saw Toby struggling with some unseen assailant.
Not sure if she was awake, or having a nightmare, he quickly shut down the computer and shoved it back into its bag. He called out her name as he approached the bed, but she didn’t respond. Asleep, he decided.

Augustus shed his slacks and climbed back i
nto bed. Funny how quickly routine comes back. This felt so familiar he didn’t have to think about what he did next. He pulled her flailing limbs into his body, wrapping himself tightly around her. Then he began whispering in her ear.

“It’s okay. You’re safe.”

He said it over and over again until Toby stopped fighting him. She slowly stopped thrashing. She mumbled a few words, words Augustus couldn’t understand, her voice too thick with sleep. He thought about the diaries he had found and wondered if it was her past that haunted her dreams. After a while her breathing returned to that soft puff of deep sleep. He continued to whisper to her, the words becoming a mantra that were beginning to work their magic on him, as well.

It had been days since he had gotten more than a few hours of sleep at a time. He closed his eyes, telling himself he would get back to the computer in a few minutes, he just wanted to be sure she wasn’t about to wake up and catch him in the act. The next thing he knew, morning light was shining down on him and voices were intruding on the final remnants of a fairly intense dream.

Jackie was there, alive and healthy, that spark that used to light her eyes when she was a little girl bright in her eyes.

And then she was gone. Again.

Augustus rolled over, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the light. The voices were still there, growing in intensity. He could hear the cadence, the tone rising in intensity, but not the words. He told himself it was the television. But then he heard Toby’s voice raised in pain.

He sat up. Now he could see that the door was rolled back, the source of the light shining on the bed.
He untangled himself from the sheets, yanked on his slacks and was pushing his arms through the sleeves of his shirt as he marched across the room.

“What’s going on?” he asked as he stepped up to the door.

They were standing on the concrete ramp. Toby, her auburn hair still tangled from the seeking exploration of his fingers, her curvy body covered in just a light tee and a pair of boy shorts, had her back to the door. But Augustus could see tension in her shoulders as she faced the man from the party. Augustus recognized him immediately. That intensity that had been on his face that night was there now, only increased tenfold. He looked like a man about to break. And he had Toby’s arm hard in his grip.

“None of your business,” the man said.

“It is my business. You’re hurting the lady.”

“This bitch is no lady,” the guy growled.

“Carl,” Toby said in a low, steady voice, “please stop.”

“Yeah, Carl,” Augustus said. “Let her go.”

Carl’s eyes narrowed, but he was focusing on Augustus now, not Toby. “You have no idea what this woman did to me, to my family.”

“I’m sure
you think she screwed up your whole life. But it’s not anything compared to what I’m going to do if you don’t let her go.”

“Augustus,” Toby said, warning clear in her voice.

“What are you going to do?” Carl asked, straightening his spine, tightening his hold on Toby’s arm.

“Let her go,” Augustus said without moving from his relaxed stance against the door, without changing the friendly tone of his voice, “or you will find out.”

Carl was a bully. Augustus had known a lot of them in his life. Bullies could be unpredictable, but this one wasn’t. Augustus could see him taking measure of Augustus’ bigger build, the three inches and forty pounds he had on him. Carl’s eyes fell to Toby who still stood rock still in front of him.

“No, Carl,” Augustus said. “Look at me.”

Carl’s eyes were a little wild as he turned back to Augustus. That was something else Augustus knew. Tension filled his shoulders even as he kept his position casual. He could see the wheels spinning in Carl’s mind, knew he was looking for an escape that would end in his benefit. He squeezed harder on Toby’s arm, making her squeal.

“I won’t ask you again,” Augustus said.

Carl shook his head. “I don’t need this bullshit,” he said as he pushed Toby away from him.

Augustus grabbed Toby as she stumbled backward and quickly pushed her behind him. He took a step forward, letting Carl know he was willing to do whate
ver he had to do to protect her. Carl stared at him a minute longer, trying to show Augustus he wasn’t afraid, but defeat was written in every pore of his greasy face. He pulled himself up to his full height, which wasn’t much, and spun on his heel. Augustus stayed where he was, watching until Carl climbed into his car and drove away in a puff of burnt rubber.

“You okay?” Augustus pushed Toby into the house and quickly secured the door before he turned to her. He grabbed her wrist and pushed the sleeve of her tee out of the way so he could see the marks Carl had left on her arm.

“I’m okay.” She pulled away and went into the kitchen. She tried to pour herself a cup of coffee, but her hand shook so hard that it spilled.

Augustus came up behind her and took the pot out of her hand. He set it down and slid his arms around her chest. Toby turned and pressed her face to his chest. He ran a hand down her spine, again feeling that automatic instinct kick in. That need to protect her, to make her pain go away.

But Toby was stronger than she looked. She pulled away, a shaky smile on her lips. “I’m okay. Really.”

Augustus stepped back and busied himself locating another coffee cup. Toby poured for them both before she curled into a chair at the small kitchen table. He watched her cradle her hands around the cup, allowing the heat to flow over her face. There was still something in her face,
an uncertainty that wasn’t quite fear, but wasn’t quite not fear. Augustus picked up his own cup and took a cautious sip, trying not to empathize with her.

This wasn’t his fight. This wasn’t why he was there.

He looked toward the living room, to where he computer bag had sat the night before. It was gone. He casually searched the huge room, his eyes moving around the living room, the kitchen, before he finally spotted it open and running on the counter in her studio. He wondered if she had realized his intrusion. He hadn’t left any tracks, at least, he was pretty sure he hadn’t. But you can never be true with a person’s private computer. Sometimes there were things only the person who set it up and who stares at it daily would notice.

But when his eyes fell back to Toby, he knew she didn’t suspect anything.

There was still trust in her eyes.

“Who was he?” Augustus asked.

Toby sat back, tucking her feet under her legs. She hesitated, clearly trying to form the words in the best way possible. It annoyed Augustus when she did that. It felt like she was filtering. He hated just the idea because it felt like he was on the outside of something important.

“A boyfriend,” he guessed.

“Oh, no,” Toby said quickly. “No, he was a patient.”

Augustus’ eyes dropped to his coffee cup. A patient. Somehow he had assumed that Jackie had been her only patient. He realized now how naive that was. Of course she had more than one patient. She probably had half a dozen, at least.

“I was a doctoral student in psychology. I had to see patients for a certain amount of time, so I worked in the clinic at the school.”

“Psychology. Sounds complicated.”

She grunted, shaking her head slowly in agreement. “Very. Especially Carl and his wife, Becky. They were really messed up. Needed a judge, not a therapist.”

“Why did he come after you? Didn’t he get his money’s worth?”

“His wife left him a few months ago. He thinks I know where she is.”

“Do you?”

Toby shrugged, her shoulders barely moving under her thin tee. “Even if I did, I couldn’t tell him.” She dragged her bottom lip over her teeth. “I wouldn’t tell him.”

“You need a restraining order.”

“He’ll stop once he figures out I won’t tell him.”

“Guys like that don’t just stop, Toby.” He stood up and went to the coffee pot, pouring a little more in his cup. “They always think the world is out to get them. They don’t stop until they get what they want or they’re dead.”

“You talk like you know from personal experience.”

He shrugged. “I’ve known a lot of people in my life.”

She climb out of her chair and walked toward him. Augustus watched her, always a sucker for the soft sway of a woman’s hips. And her hips were so curvaceous, straining at the tight material of her boy shorts. His cock began to stir in his slacks even before she sidled up to him, sliding her hands over his chest.

“You talk like you’re such an old soul.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“But I’d like to.”

He lifted her onto the counter with just an easy tug at her waist. He kissed her, licking the coffee from her lips as she opened to him. He slid his hands over her thighs, around her hips, and under her tee. Her breasts were so full, so ready for his touch. Her nipples pressed against his palms, straining to be touched, to be sucked. He grunted against her mouth as she pushed her hands around his ribs, tugging him closer to her.

“I hate to break this up,” she whispered against his ear as he bent to taste her throat. “I have to get ready for work.”

“Hmm,” he sighed, lifting up her shirt to pull it from her body. “That’s a shame.”

“Augustus,” she groaned as he slipped his tongue over her nipple and pulled it into his mouth.

He pushed her backward, practically laying her down on the counter. His tongue blazed a path from her nipple to her belly button, then lower. She buried her fingers in his hair as he tugged at the waistband of her shorts. She pulled him closer to her, her need to leave suddenly forgotten. He pulled her shorts over her thighs, letting them dangle off one foot as he continued that hot path around her pubic mound, sliding his tongue along the lowest part of her belly and then taking a big bite of the soft flesh of her inner thigh.

“Oh, wow,” she whispered, tugging at his hair with anxious fingers. “How do you do that? How do you
—” she groaned again as he buried his tongue deep inside her silky, tangy cunt.

He ran his tongue over her inner lips, flicking them with the tip as close to her clit as he could get without touching it. Two fingers disappeared inside of her, twisting until she pushed her hips against his hand, aching to have them even deeper. He pulled them out, tasted the juices her body
dripped over them, before sliding them inside again. She cried out, dropping her head so far back that her hips slipped over the edge of the counter. He caught her with a hand on her ass, with his face pressed against her savory clit.

She squeezed her thighs together when he began to suck, trapping his head right where it felt the best, right where the pressure drove her out of her mind. There was no holding back this morning, no lip biting or swallowed screams. She gave voice to her pleasure today and every sigh, every moan, every scream only made Augustus want her more.

She didn’t know that. She didn’t know how badly he wanted to pull her off this counter and take her back to that bed, how he wanted to do nothing all day but feel her cunt wrapped around his cock. She didn’t know that his cock was straining so hard against his slacks at that moment that he thought he might damage something if he didn’t get relief very soon.

So it didn’t surprise her when he pulled away.

“Where are you going?” she asked as she watched him walk out of the kitchen.

“You have to get ready for work, don’t you?” he called over his shoulder.

“Yes.”

“Then I suggest you start with a shower.”

He heard her jump off the counter and follow. And then he felt her come up behind him as he peeled off his shirt and his pants as he walked through the bathroom door. She moved up behind him, pressed her naked breasts against his back. Augustus reached back and cupped her ass, holding her close as he used his other hand to turn on the water. It only took a minute to get it a temperature he could stand, not too hot and not too cold. Then he stepped inside, pulling her along with him.

“I’ve never taken a shower with a man,” she said as she pressed her cheek to his back.

He reached behind him and tugged at her until she moved around in front of him. Her hair was wet, stuck to her skull in thick, dark strands. He pushed it back, pulling if off her shoulders and away from her face. “Do you know you’re beautiful?” he asked as he studied her.

She blushed, her eyes moving over his face in what felt like a caress before they fell to the center of his chest. “No one has said that to me in a long time.”

“There’s a lot you haven’t done in a long time.” He lifted her face. “It’s time to change that.”

They kissed, a soft, passionate thing that was different from the ones that had come before. She arched up against him, wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her up, pressed her back against the shower wall. “Cold,” she whispered and then giggled, pressing her face to this throat.