The Darkness Within Him: The Untwisted series (12 page)

‘I will take responsibility for your safety, you will be safe, but if I set a rule and you break it, you will be punished as I see fit. Do you understand?’ He glowered down at me and I was seriously starting to doubt my resolve to see this through. What the hell had I been thinking? Just as Nicholas had warned me earlier, he now seemed like a completely different person and not one I was keen to get particularly well acquainted with either.

‘Yes,’ I whispered thickly. One of his eyebrows rose and I panicked. ‘
Sir
,’ I added quickly.

‘When we go inside, I want you to remove your shirt and sit on the wooden chair.’

With that, he opened the door and stood back, indicating for me to enter in front of him. So, taking a deep breath for courage, I tentatively stepped into the room.

The first thing that registered in my panicked mind was relief, because it looked normal and fairly similar to Nicholas’ bedroom. A large four-poster bed sat in the middle of the room, covered with light blue bedding; soft blue curtains hung at the windows and the furniture comprised several smart oak dressers. Phew. No obvious torture devices. Maybe he was just getting himself worked up over nothing; maybe this was going to be fine. Maybe I was on the verge of a panic attack and just trying to distract myself with rambling thoughts and maybes …

I saw the wooden chair he had referred to and started to try and unbutton the shirt with trembling fingers. I made my way unsteadily toward the chair as Nicholas disappeared into a walk-in wardrobe at the back of the room. Finally managing to remove the garment, I hung it over the back of the chair and shakily sat down, feeling very nervous and rather silly sitting naked on a chair in the middle of the room.

Nicholas returned then, still in only his pyjama bottoms, and walked over to stand in front of me. He examined me intently, his face unreadable, and I sat silently, my back straight, looking up into his eyes. I had asked for this – I
would not
show him my fear. But by God, I
was
scared.

‘Avert your eyes,’ he stated.
What?
Usually he was all about eye contact.

‘
Do it
,’ he spat, his face lit with anger. Scowling, I gave him one last look before dropping my eyes to the floor.

‘That’s better,’ he said, reaching across and gently stroking my cheek. Confusingly his voice was soft again, almost that of the Nicholas I was used to, and I very nearly looked up at him. Follow his rules, my poor, terrified brain reminded me hastily.

‘If at any point you wish to stop, the safeword in this room is “bubble”,’ Nicholas explained quietly, but his soft voice only made his words even scarier and I couldn’t help but look up at him with wide eyes.

Bubble
? ‘Why would I need a safeword?’ I squeaked without thinking, my heart pounding so desperately it felt like it was trying to break free of my ribs.

‘No questions! Eyes down!’ he growled, glowering at me. ‘It is as I said; if you wish to stop, you say the word. What was the word, Rebecca?’ he demanded, his voice radiating authority.

Holy cow, this was actually really frigging scary now. I was a bookshop owner for crying out loud, a boring,
boorrring
bookshop owner; what on earth was I doing putting myself into a position that required the use of safewords? That just took this to a whole new and terrifying level and made me seriously question my sanity.

‘Bubble,’ I muttered thickly, staring at the ground again. Spots of light began to dance in front of my eyes as I tried to control my breathing. That definitely wasn’t a good sign. This was terror and arousal at their most heightened and as they mixed in my belly, I started seriously to think I might faint.

‘Excuse me?’ Nicholas snapped, clearly annoyed, and I jumped in my seat.

‘The safeword is bubble,
sir
,’ I repeated, a dollop of sarcasm evident in my tone from my nerves. Jeez, I really needed to remember the “sir” thing and stop pissing him off.

‘Are you mocking me?’ Nicholas demanded, his tone incredulous and utterly terrifying, before he stalked off to the cupboard again and reappeared a few seconds later. I was about to apologise when I saw the thing in his hands. Forget the possibility of fainting; I think I very nearly died on the spot.

Standing behind me, Nicholas leant down and spoke next to my ear. ‘I will not tolerate sarcasm from my sub, Rebecca. Open your mouth.’ His voice was silky smooth but I’d seen the thing in his hands and I panicked, clamping my lips firmly shut and wondering if maybe I should just walk out now.

As ridiculous as it was, though, I wanted to prove to Nicholas that I was strong enough for this. I’d asked him to show me his darker side so if I walked away now I’d always feel weak and be left wondering what would have happened. No, damn it, I must try and stay, I decided firmly. Ninety-nine per cent of me trusted that Nicholas wouldn’t push things too far with me … and if I’m being truthful, deep down I was curious to see what else he had in store for me.

I should also admit that for whatever perverted reasons, I was also aroused by all of this. I could feel the moisture between my legs and even as my brain was telling me it was wrong, I knew my body was disagreeing.

‘You wanted me to treat you as my submissive, Rebecca. Well, this is what would happen if someone defied me. Either use the safeword to stop this, or open your mouth, it’s your choice. I won’t ask again,’ Nicholas’ tone was so icy that my arms erupted in a sprinkling of goosepimples.

Holy shit. Breathing was suddenly getting more difficult. I was having a hard time registering what I should do. This was wrong on so many levels but I was unbelievably turned on, and for whatever reason, I didn’t want him to stop. What the heck was wrong with me? Surely it was sinful to want this? For now, however, I stowed my confused emotions away to consider in more detail later when I was alone. Maybe I’d need to read a few home psychiatry books tomorrow to work through my issues.

Taking a deep breath for courage, I unclenched my teeth and, in a moment of immense bravery, I opened my mouth as he had asked. I was fairly sure I heard Nicholas gasp in surprise behind me – apparently he had been expecting me to use the safeword and chicken out, and even through my fear a tiny part of me felt pleased that I’d shocked him.

Recovering his composure, he reached around and placed a small white ball in my mouth, just a little smaller than a golf ball. Attached to the ball on both sides was a leather lead, or collar I suppose, and I felt him lift my hair and fasten it at the back of my head, effectively gagging me. Actually, the ball was small enough that I could still breathe through my mouth but it pushed my tongue down and made talking impossible.

It briefly flitted through my brain that I wouldn’t be able to use a safeword now, but before this thought even had time to settle I felt Nicholas’s breath flutter across my neck as he leant down to speak to me. “You might find it tricky to safeword now Rebecca, so if you wish me to stop at any time just raise your hand and the scene will immediately cease.” His lips brushed my skin as he spoke and goose-pimples raced across my heated flesh, making me shiver with desire. Nicholas' sudden gentleness, combined with the fact that he was still giving me a way to stop things helped me relax, and I felt my muscles slacken as I rested back on the chair again. It was strange, given the situation I felt oddly calm and peaceful, it seemed that I must trust Nicholas a whole lot more than I had realised before.

‘Finally, you are subdued,’ he murmured, perhaps more to himself than me, frustration evident in his tone.

He came to stand before me, producing something from behind his back and holding it out for me to see, causing my already heightened breathing to speed up to the point where I was practically panting.

Holy fuck!
It was a …. a
thing
I had never seen before. He must have had it tucked in the elastic of his pyjama trousers because I was sure he hadn’t been holding it a second ago. I definitely would have noticed
that
in his hand.

For a second, I thought the object was the “paddle” he’d offered me use of in my flat a few weeks ago because the handle was similar, but as he let it drop down I saw it was completely different. In his hand, Nicholas held a stout handle but hanging from the handle were lots of thin strips of material. Looking closer, I could see leather, suede, and a few strands that looked rougher but were an unfamiliar material to me. The way he was holding it made it look a lot like a cheerleader’s pom-pom, with all the thin strands hanging down limply, but I was guessing that wasn’t what this was.

‘This is a flogger,’ he stated calmly, looming over me dressed only in his thin navy pyjama bottoms and somehow looking both scary and sexy as hell. I drew in a shaky breath. Well, that had eased my curiosity. It was
a flogger;
the name didn’t leave much to the imagination, did it?

‘Regardless of what you may initially think, this can be used for both pleasure and pain, Rebecca. If you do as I ask without hesitating, it shall be used for pleasure; if you disobey me or break any of my rules, I will use it to punish you. Do you understand?’

Again, his voice was low, steely and laced with an authority that for some reason thrilled me to the point where I was almost quivering.

I nodded numbly, but my eyes were still focused on the flogger. It looked harmless hanging there, but I was fairly sure those little, thin strands would sting like a whip if he wanted them to. The thought made me shudder but I wasn’t sure if it was through fear or excitement.

Good God, what dark path had this man led me down that I was now starting to see these things as acceptable, potentially pleasurable even? I blinked several times to clear my mind, unable to focus on the internal conflict in my brain and knowing that I needed to keep my wits about me right now.

‘You asked me to show you this side of me – remember that, Rebecca,’ Nicholas reminded me as he stalked toward me with the flogger hanging at his side.

‘Stand up, walk to the dresser next to the bed, and hold on to the edge,’ he instructed shortly, so I did, just like a good little sub.

One of his hands snaked around me from behind, splaying across my stomach and pulling me against him so I could feel his erection digging into my lower back. Apparently, Nicholas was enjoying himself. Then he used a knee to push my legs further apart into a more braced position.

‘Keep holding on to the dresser,’ he instructed briskly, as his hands pulled my hips backwards even further, so I was bent right over, facing the drawers. As I leant over, I noticed that the gag in my mouth was starting to make me salivate rather excessively and I had to concentrate on swallowing regularly so it wouldn’t dribble from my mouth. What an unpleasant device it was.

‘So far you are doing well for your first time, Rebecca,’ he conceded hotly at my ear, ‘but you have defied me once by speaking without permission. You need to learn not to question everything. I am going to punish you briefly for disobeying me, then pleasure you immensely,’ he told me in a calm but utterly suggestive tone.

Oh boy, punish then pleasure me? What a heady combination. I tensed all over from a cocktail of lust and fear and against all sensible reactions felt myself moisten further between my legs. Jeez, I was such a freak.

‘Relax your muscles,’ Nicholas instructed me in a whisper as he gently rubbed his palm over my bare backside. ‘If you relax this will be pleasurable, as opposed to painful.’

I tried to relax my muscles, I really did, but when you know someone is about to spank you – no, not spank,
flog you
 – it becomes rather difficult to get your muscles to comply with your brain. Maybe he sensed that because I became aware of something soft trailing over my back in a swirling sensuous pattern. It was almost hypnotic and made my muscles soften instinctively. It didn’t feel like his fingers any more. Suddenly, a stinging blow bit into my buttock and I realised it was the first strike of the flogger.
Holy shit!
I bit down on the ball in my mouth and moaned at the unexpected pain that was warming my skin.

‘Shhh. Relax, baby,’ Nicholas said softly, his voice suddenly seeming calmer now. And there was that word again, “baby”; it seemed so reassuring from his lips, even in this bizarre situation. As I felt his body shift away, I knew what was coming next and tensed in anticipation for the next blow. It rained down again but this time on my other buttock. Nicholas kissed my back before moving away and hitting me with the flogger once more. Kissing me and hitting me, how messed up was this? He continued with his blows for about a minute until both my buttocks were burning and starting to sting more than a little.

Expecting another hit on my backside, I was taken by surprise when Nicholas flicked the flogger up between my parted legs and caught me directly on my sex. Fuck, that stroke had been much more gentle and unbelievably erotic. I moaned against the ball in my mouth, then, drowsy with the remnants of my fear and growing pleasure, I hung my head and clutched at the top of the dresser for support.

‘Was that a moan of pleasure or pain, Rebecca?’ Nicholas asked softly. ‘Shake your head if you wish me to stop, nod it if you would like me to hit you between your legs again.’

I considered it for the barest of seconds and then, feeling almost ridiculously pervy, I raised my head and nodded it.

A rumbled noise escaped from his chest, possibly one of approval, and the flogger flicked up against my sensitive flesh again. Jeez, if he did it much more I would probably come standing up, and I wasn’t sure my body could take that after all our exertions this evening, morning … whenever.

‘Remove your hands,’ he instructed, and then, gripping my hips, Nicholas shifted me to the right so I was now leaning over the bed, my hands sinking into the soft mattress. Behind me, I heard the soft noise of his pyjama bottoms falling to the floor and I felt a thrill of expectation running through my groin.

‘You have behaved yourself very well, Rebecca. I’m going to remove your gag. No speaking, though,’ he reminded me firmly.