The Dating Game (9 page)

What was Lina’s problem? Holly wondered. She was acting like Princess Buzzkill. Walker was cute and nice … just because he wasn’t their damn teacher …

Walker dimmed the lights and sat beside Lina on the loveseat. The music was loud, thank god, Lina thought. Because she had no idea what to talk about. And nobody else seemed to, either. It was a little awkward. Holly crossed her legs and bounced her foot to the beat of the music.

Jake did the whole yawn-and-put-your-arm-around-the-girl thing. Holly smiled. “Like that move?” he asked.

“Smooth,” she said.

He pulled her close and kissed her on the lips a little tentatively, as if he couldn’t quite remember how that kissing thing worked. Holly was surprised. Jake looked like a take-charge kind of guy when it came to girls. But who knew? Maybe this was a tactic to put her off-guard. Anyway it was a start. Holly wished she could have brushed her teeth after dinner. She could still taste the clam chowder on her tongue. Ick.

Just go for it
, she told herself. She kissed him back shyly. The stubble around his mouth felt rough. Holly had never kissed a guy with so much beard before.

He pulled back, looked in her eyes, then dove in for more. His kiss was more forceful now but still seemed a little iffy. She kissed him back, felt herself loosening up a little, and opened her mouth. He didn’t respond, so she darted her tongue into his mouth.

She vaguely sensed a tangle of limbs across the room and thought,
Good for Lina
.

Holly and Jake were off in their own world. Walker stroked Lina’s hair while she struggled to think of something to say. If only she liked boy sports! That seemed an endless source of foolproof boy talk. She vowed to watch more baseball this year.

“You have nice hair,” Walker said. “It’s so shiny.”

“Thanks,” Lina said.

“Do you put something special in it? To make it so smooth, I mean?”

“Baby oil,” Lina replied.

“Me, too,” Walker said. “Only it doesn’t seem to work for me.”

This had to be a low point in the history of date conversation.

They both found their eyes trailing over toward Holly and Jake grappling on the couch. From where they were sitting it looked pretty intense.

Walker’s hand moved from Lina’s hair to the sleeve of her blouse. Lina stiffened. Just because Holly and Jake were going at it, she and Walker had to, too? She hardly knew the guy!

Walker suddenly pulled her body against his and pressed her head to his chest. “Your hair smells so good.” What was it with this guy and hair? He rubbed the back of her blouse. Lina had the feeling he was groping for a way under it.

Lina pressed him away with both hands. “Walker—”

He immediately let her go. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said.

“No, it’s okay,” Lina said, feeling badly now. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “It’s just, well, I’d like to get to know you better before we get into the whole makeout scene.”

“I get you,” Walker said. “No problem.” He glanced across the room at Jake and Holly again. They were in their own world.

“Do you think they’d mind if I turned on the TV?” Walker whispered to Lina.

“I don’t think they’ll even notice,” Lina said.

Jake was kissing Holly more feverishly now, getting into it. Holly began to lose herself in it, a kind of makeout amnesia. He slipped his hand under her sweater, touching the bare skin on her back. She pressed herself against him, excited.

And then he froze. His lips went slack, his hand dropped out of her sweater, and he pulled away.

What did she do wrong?

“Jake?” she whispered. “You okay?”

“Sure,” he said, disentangling himself from her. “Everything’s cool. I just thought I’d get another beer. You want one?”

Holly watched in disbelief as he stood and went to the bar fridge. He glanced back at her, repeating his question with his eyes. Another beer?

“No thanks,” she said. “I’ve still got some.” She picked up her bottle, warm now, and took a tepid sip. The TV was on. Lina and Walker were sitting on the loveseat, not touching, watching a Japanese cartoon.

Jake returned with his beer. He sat on the other side of her, at the end of the couch, one whole leather cushion away.

What just happened?
Holly wondered. He’d pulled away when she pressed herself against him. Did she come on too strong?

Jake turned his head and smiled at her, then turned back to the cartoon. That was it. Holly didn’t feel like sticking around.

“Hey, Lina, I guess we should get going soon,” she said.

Lina practically leaped to her feet. “Yeah, my parents are waiting up.”

“Oh, you have to go?” Walker seemed disappointed.

“Yeah, you know, eleven o’clock curfew,” Holly said. She had no such thing—her parents were pretty lax—but Jake didn’t need to know that.

The boys stood up and walked them to the front door. “See you again soon, Lina,” Walker said.

“‘Bye,” Lina said.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Jake said.

Lina and Holly walked to Holly’s Beetle, trailed by Jake. Lina got into the passenger seat. Holly leaned against the driver-side door. Jake kissed her lightly and said, “It was great to meet you. I’ll call you soon.”

“Great,” Holly said. She opened the door and got in. “Thanks for dinner! Bye!”

She pulled out of the driveway. “Where to?” Lina asked. “I don’t feel like going home yet.”

“Me neither,” Holly said. “The Markowitz Mansion?”

“Perfect.”

“I don’t get it, Lina,” Mads said. She sat cross-legged on her Indian-print bedspread. “What, he wasn’t cute?”

“He was cute,” Holly said.

“He was cute,” Lina repeated. “So what? Captain Meow-Meow is cute, too, but you don’t make out with him.” She picked up Mads’ persnickety Siamese cat and gave him a squeeze. He jumped out of her arms and ran away.

“Don’t take it personally,” Mads said. “Mom says Captain Meow-Meow’s been having boundary issues ever since we adopted Boris.”

Boris was the Markowitzes’ new boxer puppy. He was downstairs in the living room being trained by M.C., whose idea of pet discipline involved a lot of candles and chanting. Audrey and Russell were playing a video game together. All this at eleven o’clock at night, when Lina’s house would have been dark and quiet, just a light on in her room and one in her parents’, where they would be in bed reading. This was why Lina loved Mads’ house—24-hour chaos.

“What about Holly?” Lina said to Mads. “Why don’t you pick on her for a while?”

“Hey, I tried,” Holly said. “Jake didn’t come through.”

“Maybe he wants to take things slowly,” Mads said. “He must really like you if he doesn’t want to rush things.”

“I don’t know,” Holly said. “What if he just didn’t like me? What if he thinks I’m hideous? What if he thought I had bad breath? Maybe he hates the taste of chowder.”

“He had chowder, too,” Lina reminded her. “He probably couldn’t even taste it on you.”

“And you’re beautiful, so how could he think you’re hideous?” Mads added. “Don’t panic. Wait and see if he calls you. I think he’s just not a player. Which is a good thing.”

“I hope you’re right,” Holly said. “But that’s not the vibe I’m getting.”

Mads looked from Holly to Lina and back again. One liked her guy, but he was acting weird. The other didn’t like her guy, even though he clearly liked her. Was love always this way?

“Well, at least it sounds like Walker likes you, Lina,” Mads said. “All that talk about your shiny, good-smelling hair.”

“He does like her,” Holly said. “And he seems really cool. Lina just wouldn’t give him a chance.”

“That’s not true,” Lina protested. “I like him okay. There’s nothing wrong with him or anything. We just didn’t click, that’s all.”

“Is it because of Dan?” Mads asked. “If it is, you’re a moron.”

“No,” Lina lied. “It’s not Dan.”

She was too embarrassed to admit the truth. She didn’t just
like
Dan. She was crazy about him! She thought about him constantly. She could never like another guy, ever. Ever. How could a high school guy compare? They were so boring. And silly. All that talk of sports and shiny hair. Where was the poetry? The passion?

Holly and Mads would never understand. They liked regular boys. That was fine with Lina. If they could be satisfied with subhumans, good for them.

8

The Social Goddesses

To:     hollygolitely

From: Your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: Your popularity is soaring! Enjoy it before your carriage turns back into a pumpkin.

Class: Interpersonal Human Development

Teacher: Dan Shulman

The Dating Game: Progress report: Week
₁

By Holly Anderson, Madison Markowitz, and Lina Ozu

The Dating Game Web site received an enthusiastic response from the data pool—that is, the students at RSAGE. At the time of this report, out of 816 students, 207, or more than one-quarter, have filled out the questionnaire. Of the respondents, about 65 percent are female and 35 percent are male.

As for our thesis (who’s more sex-crazed, boys or girls?), results so far indicate a tie. However, our statistical pool is lopsided. We need more answers from boys. We feel confident that with further study, our hypothesis, that boys are more sexcrazed, will be confirmed.

The results of the questionnaires are compiled on the charts and graphs attached. We posted these charts on the site so the students can see how their answers compare with the other students’. As you can see, many students claim to have extensive sexual experience. If some of this is an exaggeration, we cannot be held responsible.

As for matchmaking, so far we have sent ten couples on dates. Two were successful (we define success as both parties agreeing to a second date). Two were complete disasters. The jury is still out on the rest of them.

The Dating Game, Questionnaire #2:
Who’s More Sex-Crazed, Boys or Girls?

All right, people. Let’s try this again. And if you are a boy, please respond. We need more answers from boys.

Do You Have Sex on the Brain?

Check the box next to each statement that is true for you.

1.
I am a boy

2.
I am a girl

3.
I dreamed about sex last night

4.
I dream about sex every night