The Dating Game (10 page)
5.
I think soap operas are sexy
6.I think
The Price Is Right
is sexy
7.My parents never knock before coming into my room, and I have no problem with that
8.My best friend is of the opposite sex. If he/she fell in love with me, I’d freak out
9.My best friend is of the opposite sex. If he/she fell in love with me, I’d be thrilled
10I watch MTV Spring Break for the travel tips
11When I say someone is cute, I mean it in a stuffed-animal kind of way
12When I say someone is cute, it means I’m picturing him/her naked
Answer Key: If you checked boxes 7, 8, 10, and 11 you’re a prude. If you checked boxes 3, 5, and 9, you’re fairly normal. If you checked boxes 4, 6, and 12, you’re a total perv.
“Well, if it isn’t the Boobmeister,” Sebastiano purred. “Looks like you just took a step up on the social ladder, Holly. I’ll have to try to be seen in public with you more often.”
Monday morning and the halls were buzzing with talk of the Dating Game. Holly had picked up on it, too, but her twice-daily meeting with Sebastiano at their lockers kept her up to date on the very latest.
“I heard that Ingrid found some kind of love slave on your Web site,” Sebastiano said. “The guy actually came to her house and cleaned her room for her! He even shined her shoes! She’s in heaven!”
“Good morning, Sebastiano,” Holly said, as if he were a normal person who had normal conversations. “How was your weekend?”
“I love those charts you guys made,” Sebastiano said. “Showing how experienced the student body is. I had no idea this school was so full of perverts!” He glanced around, as if the dorky boy walking by with his skateboard could be a secret sex fiend. “It’s very exciting. It changes the whole concept of school! Like, what will we be learning today?”
Holly pawed through a pile of books on her locker shelf. “Do we have a quiz in Geometry today?”
“Do we? Oh no! I didn’t study. Did you ask about my weekend? It’s all hazy now. Must have been good.”
“Sounds better than mine,” Holly said.
“Better than yours? How can that be? Your weekend was spent luxuriating in the creation of the greatest invention to hit Rosewood since girls’ volleyball. A sex Web site! Detailing the innermost thoughts and desires of every punk in school! Pure genius.” He kissed his fingertips, Italian-style. He could be a real ham, that Sebastiano. “You were basking in your triumph! Weren’t you?”
“I didn’t do much basking,” Holly said, though it was beginning to dawn on her that maybe she should.
“Hmm. According to ‘Nuclear Autumn’ you’ve been seeing a lot of action.”
“You can’t believe everything you read,” Holly said. “Autumn doesn’t have the guts to write about my
real
activities.”
“Ooh. Tell me. I can take it. I’m unshockable.”
Holly was bluffing, of course, but she wasn’t exactly lying. Autumn
wouldn’t
want to write about her date with Jake. It was too boring.
But Holly had seen all the talk about her on the Web. A wailful of virtual graffiti about “the Boobmeister.” Anonymous chatters told stories of spotting Holly naked with Nick at the Christmas party; Holly going around grabbing guys’ crotches; Holly standing on the corner of Rutgers and Tapp Streets, dressed like a hooker. … She tried not to let it bother her, but it pissed her off. How could people just make up stuff like that?
And here was Sebastiano, practically drooling as he waited to hear about her thrilling weekend. She hated to let him down.
“I’ll spare you the details. Let’s just say I went on a blind date.”
“Don’t spare the details! That’s the best part!”
“Sorry. I don’t kiss and tell.”
“Just tell me who he is,” Sebastiano pleaded.
She hesitated. She’d known Sebastiano since sixth grade, but he wasn’t really a friend. They never talked on the phone or IM’ed each other or went out of their way to get together outside of school. But through alphabetical coincidence, their lockers had been side-by-side for five years now. They were seated together at every assembly. They were close acquaintances. And in his odd way he was usually honest with her. “Jake Soros.”
“That soccer hooligan? Holly, you can do better. He could use some manscaping. Though he is built.”
“Manscaping?”
“You know, grooming: Clean the nails, shave a little closer—he’s a pretty hairy dude. He’s going to have a wicked back hair problem when he grows up.”
Holly hadn’t noticed anything other than the chin stubble. Maybe he’d cleaned his nails for their date. “I like him,” she said.
“You have lousy taste,” he said.
“How would you know?”
“I see what goes on around this dump. I know all.”
“Well, who do you think is hot?”
“I’ll take my cue from you and spare you ‘the details.’ That’ll teach you to be discreet. Later.” He shut his locker and started down the hall.
“I’m not letting you cheat off me in Geometry!”
He spun around and shook his finger at her. “You’ll do as I say!” A couple of guys snickered as they walked by. Lina and Mads, clutching their books, came up and said hello to Sebastiano.
“Hello, girls,” he said. “How are you enjoying your new status as social goddesses?”
“Social goddesses?” Mads beamed. “When did that happen?”
“Overnight!” Sebastiano called as he disappeared around a corner. “These things always happen overnight.”
“What was that all about?” Lina asked.
“Just a little trip to Planet Sebastiano,” Holly said.
“I do think more people said hi to me than usual this morning,” Mads said.
The first warning bell rang. Holly closed her locker. “Let’s get some coffee before class.”
They headed for the lunch room, where coffee, tea, and bagels could be bought any time before lunch. Rebecca Hulse stood by the cash register, adding milk to her coffee.
“Hey, chickies,” she called to Holly, Lina, and Mads.
“Hi, Beck,” Lina said.
“I’m having a party this weekend,” Rebecca said. “Saturday night. Nothing big, but you guys should definitely come. A few of your Dating Game hookups will be there—you can see how it all plays out.”
“Cool,” Holly said, surprised that Rebecca was bothering to invite them to a party. Not that she’d ever purposely exclude them. It just wasn’t like her to go out of her way to
include
them.