The Dead Fathers Club (21 page)

I got back into town on London Road and I heard a voice and it was someone shouting Oi Philster. I turned and it was Ross and Gary and they were sitting on a bench near the big grass triangle and they were in massive Nike trainers and they said Come here like they couldnt move. Like the trainers were big heavy weights that stuck them to the ground.

I went over even though I didnt want to. I didnt want to do anything ever again because things go wrong when you do things. But they had the remote control for me and I said What?

Ross said How far can you spit?

I said Dont know.

Gary said Could you get the grass from here?

I said Dont know.

Ross said Try.

Gary said But youve got to sit down on the bench.

Ross said Yeah try from the bench.

I sat down on the bench and I was still on remote control and I saw all the spit circles on the path. Some were still white and foamy and some were dark and nearly dry. Ross did a spit and it nearly got the grass and Gary did one and it got even closer and then they looked at me. I tried to spit but I was thinking about Leah and I got nowhere near where their spit landed. They laughed but then stopped quickly and Gary said It was well mad about the fire.

I said Yeah.

Ross said It must be cool to set things on fire. I mean big things like a Garage.

He looked at me for a long time.

I said I suppose.

Gary said in a light heavy voice Did you do it Philster? Was it you?

I said No too quick and then tried to laugh but it came out weird like the laugh had been smashed with a hammer and all the pieces were put back together wrong and then I said Course not. Course I didnt.

Ross said We wont grass you up or owt.

Gary said I mean it was just cool thats all.

I was thinking of Leah again and I said I didnt I didnt I didnt do it.

Ross said Chill. Its all right. We was only asking.

Gary said Yeah only asking chav.

I said Yeah I know.

Ross said You like our trainers?

I didnt care about their trainers but I said Yeah.

Gary said Air Hercules.

Ross said We got them as a present.

Gary hit Rosss arm when he said that like it was a secret.

I said Oh.

And then they started spitting again trying to reach the grass but I didnt try this time. I just sat there watching the spit circles bubble out and then I got up and said See you later.

They said See you Philster.

See you mate.

But it didnt sound right this time like the word mate was an insect that went in my ears and stayed in my head.

When I got back to the Pub I went past the bins and there were bags by the bins and two said JD Sport and I saw through the bags and there were boxes with the Nike sign on them.

I checked to see if anyone was watching and there was no one only ghosts I couldnt see so I got the box out and I looked inside and I saw the sticker and it said Nike Air Hercules and there was a piece of blue paper in the bag and it said Nike Air Hercules x 2 and it had Uncle Alans writing on it and I knew hed bought them to get Ross and Gary to spy on me. And I heard Gary again in my head Did you do it Philster? Was it you?

I knew from then that there was no one in the whole world who is who you think they are. You cant trust anyone. Not the dead or the living. They all lie all the time and hide things you cant see but you can smell it if you know how and when you do it is stronger than a Stink Bomb. I went inside and I went to my room and closed my eyes and I had a feeling like another bad thing was going to happen.

Dads Ghost came in the night and his excuses fell into my head one by one.

It was a mistake Philip it was a mistake

I was flickering out

It was hard to see

I couldnt see properly Philip

He looked like Uncle Alan son

He looked like Uncle Alan

Do you think I wanted this to happen?

Do you think thats what I wanted?

I wanted it to be Uncle Alan

It had to be Uncle Alan

If you had acted sooner

If you hadnt waited

Why didnt you?

Why didnt you do something before?

Youve been a slow coach Philip

A slow coach

Im sorry son but you have

No

Im sorry I didnt mean

Philip I shouldnt have said

Philip I

Philip

Philip son

Phil

Ph

And I said Go away. Just go away.

I had to tell Leah and Dane the Truth.

I had to tell them before Mr Fairviews Ghost told them so I went and asked Mum. She was doing her workout with her hands and knees on the floor and lifting out one knee at a time like a dog going for a wee.

I said Can I go out for one hour? Can I go to the library?

The library wasnt open on Sundays but Mum didnt know so it was a good excuse.

Bobby with the muscles on the DVD said You should be really feeling it by now.

Mum kept lifting her knee and she looked at me and said Ill drive you round. After my workout.

Bobby said Really burn those glutes. Feel it burning. Burning down the house.

I said Can I go on my own?

She said OK. Yes. But an hour thats all. Not like yesterday.

I didnt care if Dane and Leah told the police on me but I was a bit scared that Dane was going to kill me because then I might get the Terrors.

But I was thinking that the Terrors might just be another lie and maybe Dads Ghost wasnt Dads Ghost at all it might just be the Devil trying to get me to do bad things like kill Mr Fairview because he liked God not the Devil.

 

Danes skin head came to me in the fuzzy glass and he opened the door. I was scared he was going to kill me right then but he looked at me like a stranger or like I was just space or the water in a tank and I said Hi.

The Hi sounded stupid the way things always sound stupid when people die and I wanted to tell him It was me I killed him but I didnt.

He didnt say Hi back but he let me in.

There was no one in the house except Leah and Dane. I thought maybe they were going to live together now on their own with no grown ups.

I went upstairs and pushed open Leahs door and she was there sitting on the bed in her coat with the fur round the hood that made her look like an animal. An animal that might climb trees. I said Leah?

But the word was invisible to her ears.

Leah?

Leah its me.

Philip.

I sat next to her on the bed and saw her face in the reflection of the window. It was see through like a ghost and it wasnt crying it was not anything and I looked round at the posters all smiling like they didnt care and I said Leah Im sorry.

She was digging her right thumbnail into her left hand making a little blood smile and she said in a slow voice quiet like air nearly singing Dead and gone dead and gone.

There was a letter by the window and there were two tickets in a blue holder that said Air New Zealand and I said Are they from your aunt? Are you going to live in New Zealand?

Her head fell a bit on her left side and her eyes went wider in the window and she kept on saying it Dead and gone dead and gone dead and gone dead and gone dead and gone.

I said Leah. Leah?

And I saw her nail digging deeper in her hand and I tried to look at her face but it was just her hood so I looked in the window and I jumped because there was someone else next to her in the glass with a red face like the Devil and he had his arm round her and he said If it isnt little Philip?

I got off the bed very quick and I looked and he was there next to Leah. His burnt face was looking at me behind her hood and his burnt hand was on her shoulder. It was Mr Fairview in black clothes like coal with holes in them and redness coming through the holes and Leah couldnt see him or hear him. She was digging her nail and singing a pop song in a whisper

Tomorrow is Saint Valentines Day

And I dont expect no flowers

The best I can hope is to stay like this

Counting down the hours

Mr Fairview stood up off the bed and he had no hair on his head and no eyebrows. He just had twisty scars all over like screwed up paper and he came close to me and he said He cant handle the Terrors little Philip.

I said Please.

Leah kept on singing and Mr Fairview said with his finger on his invisible lips Sssh. Sssh. Can you hear that Philip? Can you hear his screams? He is screaming your name Philip but you cant hear him. Can you hear him Philip?

I shook my head.

Mr Fairview said There is no peace unto the wicked. No peace. Are you wicked Philip? Have you done a wicked thing? I think you must have Philip. I think that is why I am here. Have you been wicked?

I shook my head.

Mr Fairview went quiet and I could see the black bone in his jaw and his skin flapping and he said Even the ghosts dont want him now Philip.

I said Please leave me alone.

Mr Fairview said clubs have rules.

I said Please.

Mr Fairview said I told them the truth Philip.

I scrunched my eyes shut but I could still hear his voice.

I opened my eyes and looked at Leah and she was in her hood and making mumble sounds and Mr Fairview looked at her and said My Lambkin.

Then he looked at me and said Tell the truth Philip.

He kept on saying it over and over and over Tell the truth tell the truth tell the truth tell the truth.

And his words pushed me back into the wardrobe and then I ran out of the room and down the stairs and past the words on the wall in the frame Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free and I got to the back door and Dane was outside smoking.

Mr Fairview flickered on next to him and screamed from the Terrors and then he said You must tell him Philip. You must get it out of your system Philip. Or I will be here for ever Philip. I will follow you wherever you go.

I said Dane.

He looked at me and he sucked the cigarette inside him.

I said Dane again.

A What? came out of a smoke cloud.

I looked at his big hand as he sucked the cigarette with wide fingers and nearly no nails.

I said I know who started the fire.

Dane looked at me like Id pushed him and he said What?

I said I know who started the fire.

He did a smoke circle out his mouth and blew more smoke and broke it.

Dane said Philip just leave it.

Dane didnt understand so I said I cant.

I looked out and saw the backs of the other houses on the street behind and there were no lights in any of the windows so no one was there and no one was going to see Dane kill me.

He said What you fucking on about?

He flicked the cigarette on the ground and it rolled on the concrete and into a puddle and went out.

He got something out of his pocket something black and pulled metal out of it like a mirror but it wasnt a mirror it was a knife. He started scraping out the cement in the wall and making a cloud of dust.

Mr Fairviews Ghost looked at me and said Say it.

I said I did it.

Dane said What?

I said The fire.

He said What you talking about?

A dog started barking in one of the other backyards and the bark turned into a cry.

Mr Fairview said Say it again.

I said I did the fire. I started the fire at the Garage.

The words were inside Danes brain now getting bigger I STARTED THE FIRE AT THE GARAGE and pushing out his eyes.

He said with a quiet voice and a loud face You what?

I said I started the fire.

His hand that wasnt holding the knife was on my face and squeezing my cheeks and pulling my head up out of my body.

I said Im sorry. It was an accident. I meant to kill Uncle Alan.

He couldnt hear my words properly because I couldnt move my mouth because his hand was squeezing my cheeks.

Mr Fairviews Ghost was in Danes ear now and saying Do it son. Kill him. Get my Revenge. Let me rest.

Dane pushed the back of my head against the brick wall by the kitchen window and it hurt and then I felt cold metal on my neck and I thought in 20 seconds I will be DEAD. He will chop off my head and stick it in a jar like the Druids did when the Romans came to England.

He said Shut up shut up shut up.

I said Im sorry. I went to the Garage. I had some Magnesium. I set it on fire to kill my uncle.

He said Why you fucking saying that?

I said Im sorry.

He said What the fucks up with you?

I said Im sorry.

He said WHAT THE FUCKS UP WITH YOU?

I said Im sorry Dane Im sorry. I didnt know your dad was in there.

Mr Fairview said to Dane Let me rest. Let me rest.

The knife was tickling my neck and I closed my eyes and I waited for it to go in and splurt blood all over Danes face and over his earring in his eyebrow. I wondered how long it would take for my brain to die and I hoped hed do it properly not how Emperor Nero did it when he wanted to kill himself and had to get his soldiers to help him because he hadnt pushed the knife right in.

I thought KILL ME QUICK KILL ME QUICK KILL ME QUICK but then I thought of the Terrors and of Mum and I thought I dont want to die.

And my eyes were open now and I saw the sky that was clear with all the stars. Some of them were dead and some of them were alive but you couldnt tell because the light was still shining.

Mr Fairview said Do it son. Press the knife.

And Dane said to himself Do it! Fucking do it! Do it! Fucking do it! Cunt! Do it!

And I thought that was it that was the full stop but it wasnt because he threw the knife down and he roared like he was an animal. I didnt know why he threw down the knife. I didnt know if it was because of Leah or New Zealand or his dad.

He turned and I looked at his back and he said in the quietest voice in the world Dont come round again or Ill kill you Philip. If you tell Leah Ill kill you. Ill kill you. I fucking swear.

And he didnt turn round and I went to the gate and I opened it and I started walking and Mr Fairview stayed with Dane and didnt follow.