The Death Class: A True Story About Life (35 page)

Supplementary background on child development and attachment:
Robert Karen,
Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1998); Rene A. Spitz,
The First Year of Life: A Psychoanalytic Study of Normal and Deviant Development of Object Relations
(New York: International Universities Press, 1965); Harry Bakwin, “Loneliness in Infants,”
American Journal of Diseases in Children
63, no. 1 (1942): 30–40; Harry Bakwin, “The Hospital Care of Infants and Children,”
The Journal of Pediatrics
39, no. 3 (September 1951): 383–390;
Mental Health: A Report of the Surgeon General—Executive Summary
(Rockville, Md.: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Mental Health Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health, 1999); Konner, Melvin,
The Evolution of Childhood: Relationships, Emotion, Mind
(Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2010).

THREE:
Rewind Button

Scenes and anecdotes from Caitlin’s home, childhood, and life:
From observations and interviews by author.

Scenes of Caitlin in class:
From interviews with Caitlin and Norma Bowe.

Caitlin’s writings:
From her letters and assignments.

Norma’s stories from working with the mentally ill:
Observed by author during class discussions and recorded in interviews.

Scenes of Caitlin meeting Jonathan:
From interviews with Jonathan and Caitlin.

“Brain on drugs” lecture by Norma:
Observed by author.

Supplementary brain and love sources:
Helen E. Fisher, “Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated with Rejection in Love,”
Journal of Neurophysiology
104, no. 1 (July 2010): 51; Emory Young, “Being Human: Love: Neuroscience Reveals All,”
Nature
457, no. 148 (January 8, 2009); Bianca P. Acevedo, Arthur Aron, Helen E. Fisher, and Lucy L. Brown, “Neural Correlates of Long-Term Intense Romantic Love,”
Social Cognitive Affective Neuroscience,
published online January 5, 2011.

Supplementary background on OCD:
Jeremy Wolfe, “Defining Mental Illness: Are Suicide Bombers Insane?,” Massachusetts Institute of Technology: MIT OpenCourseWare, Lecture 21, Introduction to Psychology, Fall 2004; Paul Bloom, “What Happens When Things Go Wrong: Mental Illness, Part II,” Yale Open Courses, Psychology 110: Introduction to Psychology, Lecture 19, Oct. 12, 2009.

FOUR:
Little Boy

Scenes and anecdotes from Jonathan’s home, childhood, and life:
Drawn from interviews by author.

Supplementary source material on murder of Jonathan’s mother and his father’s arrest:
Court records of the case provided through public record request to Union County Prosecutor’s Office. “Man, 37, Is Arrested in Ex-Wife’s Killing,” Associated Press, March 10, 1996; “Union County Man Charged with Murder of Ex-Wife,”
The Record,
March 11, 1996; “Man Who Feared Alien Takeover Pleads Guilty to Killing Ex-wife,” Associated Press, Sept. 3, 1998; Rick Hepp, “East Jersey Inmate Hangs Himself in Apparent Suicide,”
The Star-Ledger,
Dec. 19, 2006, states, “Four other state inmates have committed suicide this year,” naming “East Jersey inmate Brett Steingraber, a former Roselle Park man who said he killed his ex-wife in 1996 to save her from an alien invasion, on Feb. 15.”

FIVE:
Strange Behavior

Scene from banquet hall:
Reconstructed based on interviews with Caitlin, Jonathan, Norma, and photographs capturing the graduation and party.

Scenes of Josh:
Reconstructed based on interviews with Jonathan and Caitlin.

Delusions and mental illness:
Background observed by author in Norma’s lectures.

Supplementary information on delusions, mental disorders, and schizophrenia:
Jeremy Wolfe, “Causing Mental Illness: What Can Make You Lose Your Mind?,” Massachusetts Institute of Technology: MIT OpenCourseWare, Lecture 22, Introduction to Psychology, Fall 2004; Wolfe, “Defining Mental Illness”; Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, “What Happens When Things Go Wrong: Mental Illness, Part I,” Yale Open Courses, Psychology 110: Introduction to Psychology, Lecture 18, Oct. 12, 2009; Bloom, “What Happens When Things Go Wrong: Mental Illness, Part II.”

Argument between Caitlin and Jonathan:
Reconstructed based on interviews with both of them.

Josh’s attack on Jonathan:
Reconstructed based on interviews with Jonathan and Caitlin, as well as police reports and medical reports.

Norma’s schizophrenia lesson:
Based on interviews with Norma, Jonathan, and Caitlin.

Conversations with Josh in hospital:
Reconstructed based on interviews with Jonathan, as well as his personal writings.

Applebee’s scene:
Reconstructed based on interviews with Norma and Caitlin.

Life cycle, fifth and sixth stages:
Norma’s explanations observed by author during lectures and recorded in interviews.

“To a considerable extent adolescent love is an attempt to arrive at a definition of one’s identity”:
Erikson,
Identity: Youth and Crisis,
132.

“Unfortunately, many young people marry under such circumstances, hoping to find themselves in another”:
Erikson,
Identity and the Life Cycle,
101.

SIX:
To the Rescue

Scenes with Norma and Stephanie and in the motel with Stephanie’s mother:
Witnessed by author.

Norma’s first death and experiences in nursing school and as a working medical professional:
As told to author in interviews.

Norma teaching in women’s prison:
Witnessed by author.

Community service trip to Alabama:
Witnessed by author.

Holiday Inn dog bereavement session:
Witnessed by author.

Crashing Buddhism retreat:
Witnessed by author.

Generativity:
Explained by Norma in lectures and interviews observed by author.

Supplementary background on generativity found in:
Erikson,
Identity and the Life Cycle,
Erikson,
Childhood and Society,
Erikson and Erikson,
The Life Cycle Completed.

Father Hudson House makeover:
Reconstructed from interviews of Norma and the students involved, as well as interviews with Sally and Jim. In addition, photos and videos used, and visits to the hospice by author.

Erikson 1969 psychobiography of Gandhi:
Erik H. Erikson,
Gandhi’s Truth: On the Origins of Militant Nonviolence
(New York: W. W. Norton, 1993).

Griminger funeral scene and death teacher saves life at funeral comment:
Witnessed by author.

“In times of strife and crisis, she thrives on it”:
From author’s interviews with Norma’s father.

Stories of Norma’s grandmother, birthdays:
As told to author by Norma.

Disappearing on birthday:
Observed by author.

“Shame is early expressed in an impulse to bury one’s face, or to sink, right then and there, into the ground”:
Erikson,
Identity and the Life Cycle,
p. 154.

SEVEN:
The Trigger

Scene of Israel in Norma’s office:
Reconstructed based on interviews with Norma and Israel.

Israel’s story:
As told to author by Israel.

Israel’s participation in class:
As told to author by Israel and Norma.

EIGHT:
Despair

Men’s prison trip:
Scenes inside prison witnessed by author, with supplementary reporting during numerous trips inside prison. Also based on interviews with Israel, Norma, Carl, and other students.

Supplementary reporting on Northern State Prison:
Meg Lundstrom, “Kean Opens Newark Prison,”
The Record,
Oct. 21, 1987; “Vote Due on $198M Prison Bond November Referendum,”
The Record,
April 21, 1987; “20 Inmates Moved to Unfinished State Jail,”
The Record,
June 1, 1987; Alfonso A. Narvaez, “As
Prison Opens in Jersey, Officials Support a Bond Issue,”
The New York Times,
Oct. 21, 1987; “N.J. to Enlarge 5 Prisons; Ship Lockup on Hold,”
The Record,
March 11, 1988; “Kean OKs $80.78M for 1,332 New Prison Beds,”
The Record,
June 19, 1988; Todd Richissin, “Two Civilians Held Hostage for Several Hours at N.J. Prison, Freed Unharmed,” Associated Press, Oct. 27, 1988; Eve Markowitz, “Prison Siege Is Over; Inmates Give Up, Free Hostages Unharmed,”
The Record,
Oct. 28, 1988; Abby Goodnough, “Inmates Injure 15 Guards at Prison in Newark,”
The New York Times,
May 2, 1997; Dunstan McNichol, “Tents, Double Bunks in N.J. Prisons; Crowding Blamed for Violent Episodes,”
The Record,
July 31, 1997; “New Prison Unit Designed to Break Gangs,” Associated Press, March 5, 1988; William Kleinknecht, “State Prisons Try to Break Inmate Gangs,”
The Star-Ledger,
Feb. 8, 1999; Brian Donohue, “Harsh Unit Is Prison’s Answer to Violence—Isolated Inmates Gain Release by Renouncing Gang Affiliation,”
The Star-Ledger,
Jan. 23, 2000; “Passaic Man Hangs in Prison,” Associated Press, April 17, 2001; Nikita Stewart, “A Fear for What Might Lie Below Shadows Jail Project—Essex Guards Worry About Toxins Under Site,”
The Star-Ledger,
Sept. 7, 2003; Maya Rao, “Probers Say Street Gangs More Active in N.J. Prisons,”
The Philadelphia Inquirer,
Nov. 25, 2008; “Northern State Inmate Dies in Cell Fire He Set,”
The Star-Ledger,
Dec. 6, 2008.

The Northern State gang unit was closed in 2010, after author visited the prison:
Kibret Markos, “Closing Gang Unit to Save State $5m,”
The Record,
May 7, 2010.

Donald Paul Weber:
Abbott Koloff, “Killer of 80-year-old Bernardsville Woman Set to Get Out of Prison,”
Daily Record,
July 14, 2007; Abbott Koloff, “Hearing Revives Memories of Rape Attempt, Murder of Bernardsville Widow,”
Daily Record,
July 15, 2007; Abbott Koloff, “Widow Killer Will Get Parole,”
Daily Record,
July 25, 2007; Nyier Abdou and Ralph R. Ortega, “State Parole Board OKs Release of Murderer—Victim’s Family Says Convict Still a Threat,”
The Star-Ledger,
July 27, 2007.

Details of other inmates’ crimes from Northern State and in Norma’s class:
Most details and charges based on State of New Jersey Department of Corrections inmate search. See also Bill Sanderson, “He’s Hemmed In by All the Evidence; Prosecution Concludes Its Case in Teaneck Murder Trial,”
The Record,
March 22, 1989; Bill Sanderson, “A Plea to Spare a Murderer’s Life; Drug Use Cited in Teaneck Slaying,”
The Record,
March 28, 1989; Bill Sanderson, “Killer Is Spared Death Sentence,”
The Record,
March 31, 1989; Sue Epstein and Mary Ann Spoto, “Re-accused
Killer Moves to Maximum-Security Cell,”
The Star-Ledger,
Sept. 1, 1999; Robin Gaby Fisher and Judith Lucas, “Death Ends Notorious Killer’s Quest to Go Free—Zarinsky, Long Suspected of Slaying More than One Missing Teenager, Dies at 68,”
The Star-Ledger,
Nov. 30, 2008; Giovanna Fabiano, “Man Who Raped, Killed Woman in ’76 Denied Parole,”
The Record,
Sept. 15, 2009.

Carl’s background:
From author’s interviews with him in prison as well as interviews with his mother. Also used were his class essays and personal writings. The details of the crime he was serving time for came from police reports and full interviews of Carl, his accomplice, and his sister, and investigation documents obtained by author.

Finding Buddhism in prison:
As recounted to author by Carl. Also interviewed about this was Dean Sluyter, a spiritual teacher in Northern State.

“Fearing death, I went to the mountains”:
“The Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas,” pamphlet published by Dzogchen Center, Austin Texas, June 2005, p. 6. Also found in Lama Surya Das,
Awakening the Buddhist Heart: Integrating Love, Meaning, and Connection into Every Part of Your Life
(New York: Broadway Books, 2001).

“Wisdom, then, is detached concern with life itself, in the face of death itself”:
Erikson,
Insight and Responsibility,
134.

“Despair expresses the feeling that the time is too short”:
Erikson,
Identity and the Life Cycle,
104–105.

Norma’s memories of her mother’s illness and death:
Drawn from interviews with author.

The acceptance of one’s one and only life cycle:
Erikson,
Identity and the Life Cycle,
104.

Israel’s story of sharing his letter about Jason:
Based on interviews with Israel. Young gang member’s death also documented in police press releases and news stories.

NINE:
Brothers

Jonathan and Josh’s trip to Uruguay and events during subsequent return to New Jersey:
Recounted in interviews with author.

Mounting medical bills and responsibilities:
Documented in bank statements, bill statements, medical statements, notifications provided to author by Jonathan.

“Josh I love you so much and I don’t give a fuck what I have to do to help you”:
Letter provided to author by Jonathan.