The Deputies: 3 Novella Box Set (5 page)

H
ank kept his eyes trained on the scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast Alyssa had placed in front of him. After the way he’d behaved last night, he wasn’t sure he could ever look her in the eye again. No matter what she’d done, she was still his wife and as such deserved his respect. He’d treated her like a whore last night and he wasn’t very proud of himself. She deserved an apology and a chance to tell him off.

For a moment his chest clenched in fear that she might leave. The whole idea had been to disgust her to such an extent that she would go but now that he might have succeeded he wasn’t near as happy about it as he thought he would be.

Fuck.

Luke blew into his straw making bubbles in his chocolate milk. Hershey was sitting patiently at his feet hoping the soon to be six year old would drop a piece of bacon. Alyssa was warming up both their coffees before taking a seat between Luke and Hank.

“We don’t blow bubbles in our milk, sweetie.” Alyssa moved the cup a few inches back but Luke just laughed.

“I do, Mom. I can blow them even bigger. Watch!” Luke reached for the cup again but Alyssa pinched the straw from the glass.

“Maybe I should have said it differently. You aren’t going to blow bubbles in your milk. But I love you. Now finish your toast.” With her sunny smile, their homey domestic scene seemed a far cry from the night before.

He was also impressed by how easily she handled any shenanigans from Luke. In the most loving but firm way possible, she’d stop the monkeyshines and redirect their rambunctious son into more orderly activities.

It was certainly different than how she’d dealt with Luke’s chronic colic or his climbing phase when he was two and a half. Then she’d seemed unsure of herself, almost tentative. He was starting to feel decidedly unneeded. She’d had herself up, showered and dressed along with an ornery Luke before Hank woke up.

Luke pushed his plate away after slipping the last of his bacon to Hershey. “I’m full. Can I take Hershey for a walk? Please, Mom?”

She surprised him when she turned to him and placed her hand on his arm. His pulse jumped to life and he was forced to look her in the eyes for the first time that day. There wasn’t any anger or animosity. If anything, they were calm and cool.

“How about you take Hershey and play with him in the backyard? Just stay in the fence. We can take him for a walk in a little while.”

“Okay,” Luke agreed cheerfully. “How long is a little while?”

His son was certainly smart.

Alyssa laughed and stood to clear the table. “Half an hour. Deal?”

“Deal.” Luke scampered outside with a barking puppy at his heels.

The silence stretched as Alyssa unloaded the dishwasher from last night and Hank picked at his eggs. He needed to man up and get it over with.

“Do you feel like grilling out tonight? We’ve got chicken–”

“Listen,” he cut in. “I’m sorry, okay? I acted like an ass last night and I apologize. I hope we can put this behind us. You were right when you said we need to do better for Luke.”

Alyssa picked up a dishtowel and wiped off her hands. “Your apology is accepted although I’m not sure what you’re sorry for. Drinking? Having sex? Just what do you think you did wrong, Hank?”

That was an answer he hadn’t expected. She was full of surprises this morning. “For both, I guess. Going to the bar was dumb and well—later—I shouldn’t have done that, Lis. I’m sorry.”

He was studying his eggs again feeling like ten kinds of shit. He also didn’t like that he had lost the moral high ground he’d had yesterday.

“Look at me, Hank.” Lifting his head, their gazes locked. “I’m not sorry we had sex. I’m glad we did. It had been way too long, don’t you think?”

“You’re….glad? But I was so…”

“Dominant? Demanding? Alpha?” A smile played on his beautiful wife’s lips. She didn’t look upset in the least. She looked…glowing.

Hank’s lips twisted and his face flushed. “I was going to say I acted like a jerk. I’m sorry I was so rough.”

“Don’t be. I liked it. It was exciting.” Now her cheeks were pink but her eyes were sparkling.

“You liked it?” He sounded like an idiot just parroting back everything she said. “You’ve never–”

“Stop right there, my husband.” Alyssa raised her hand. “You’ve never either. You’ve been holding out on me as far as I’m concerned. I’m going to want it like that all the time, just so you know.”

“You’re my wife.” Hank shook his head in disbelief in what he was hearing. She wanted him to be rough and dominant with her?

“I’m glad we finally agree on that. We’ve made progress,” she replied. “Don’t go all good girl bad girl on me. I’m a woman and last night was wonderful.”

“Just because we had sex last night doesn’t mean everything is all better,” Hank argued, realizing she’d cornered him handily. “Nothing has changed.”

That wasn’t really true actually, but he wasn’t about to give in at this point. He was still vulnerable where she was concerned and he didn’t want to come out of this with another broken heart. It appeared that she’d changed but anyone could act differently for twenty-four hours.

“Well, a few things have.” She looked like she was trying not to laugh. “For one, last night was amazing. I felt close to you for the first time in a long time. And second, we didn’t use any protection. Again.”

Hank slapped the heel of his hand on his forehead. He hadn’t used anything last night, hadn’t even crossed his mind. His cock had done all the thinking. This was what had gotten them into trouble the last time. Alyssa had been pregnant when they’d married.

“Is it a dangerous time of the month?” He had to consciously take deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating. His marriage was in shambles and he might have made things worse by bringing another innocent into the middle of it.

His wife shrugged as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “It’s hard to tell. You know I’m very irregular. I’ll just make sure I don’t drink until we know for sure. I wouldn’t be upset though. I’d love to have another child. I don’t want too many years between our kids.” She looked around the cabin and smiled. “We might need a bigger place if I am. Two bedrooms is going to feel very small when the next one comes.”

It was like he’d woken up in a strange house. Nothing was as he thought it should be. “Since when do you want more babies? You always seemed so overwhelmed with Luke.”

Alyssa tut-tutted and sipped her coffee. “I was a first time mom, Hank, and my husband worked a lot of hours. I’m not blaming you,” she added hastily. “As I said last night, I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet. But yes, there were times I felt overwhelmed. Potty training almost kicked my ass. But now that I’ve been through it, well, I miss having a baby. I’ll be more confident this time.”

“Alyssa,” he said carefully, not wanting his words to sound cruel or harsh. “Let’s hope there isn’t a
this
time. We’ve got enough problems without adding another baby to the mix. I meant what I said, last night doesn’t change things. I’m not ready to let you back into my life.”

“It’s good to be cautious.” She nodded as if she understood but her next words blew that out of the water. “But we’re a family and I won’t give up. I told you I’m in this for the long haul.”

“What can I do to convince you that it’s too late?” Hank groaned and stood to put his cup in the sink. He needed to get to the station. At least he would have the distraction of work there.

“You can’t,” she said simply. “I love you, Hank. Looks like you’ll need to learn to live with being the center of mine and Luke’s world.”

“I’m not going to argue with you anymore.” At least not this morning. She was wearing him out and starting to make sense. The sound of Tom’s truck in the driveway saved him from any more discussion. “I’ll be home by seven. What are you and Luke going to do today?”

“I thought I would take him by your mother’s house.”

Hank groaned as he rinsed out his cup. “Shit. Mom expects Luke to spend his days with her while I’m at work. I need to call her and somehow explain this. Hell, I don’t even understand it.”

Alyssa waved away his worry. “I’ll call your mother and explain everything. Relax, I’ll take all the blame.”

“She already blames you.” Not really. Alice Dixon had blamed Alyssa at the beginning but now blamed Hank. Every time he saw his mother she asked him when he was going to go after his wife and bring her home. She was going to be thrilled at the turn of events.

“So…you’ll be here when I get off work?”

He didn’t know why the hell he needed to be sure but he did.

“I’ll be here.” She caught his hand in hers and the skin tingled were they touched. “After awhile I hope you can trust that. I’ll always be here.”

He didn’t answer, instead picking up his keys and moving toward the front door. He needed time and space away from Alyssa to think about what had happened. Mostly he needed two aspirin. Last night’s beer and this morning’s revelations had given him a wicked headache. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any calls from the Perry ranch today.

“I love you! Have a good day!” she called after him.

He headed down the driveway to where Tom waited to take Hank to his truck. He wasn’t ready to answer back, and he might not ever be.

“Do you have everything packed for your trip? You’ve only got a few more days to go, right?” Seth asked as he refilled his coffee. It was a rare quiet moment at the station house as their shifts wound down. It had been just busy enough for the time to pass quickly but not so crazy they were exhausted. If only every day could be this good.

“Holy hell, I forgot about that.” With everything going on with Alyssa, the fishing trip had flown from straight out of Hank’s mind.

Seth frowned as he settled into the chair next to Hank’s desk. “You’ve been talking about the trip for weeks. How could you have forgotten?”

“Alyssa.”

“She always did have a way of messing with you.” Seth smiled over his coffee cup. “What has she done now?”

Hank wasn’t one to talk about his problems but he felt the need to make an exception today. His mother would only tell him that he was being a fool and to reconcile before Alyssa changed her mind.

“She’s moved back in.” Seth’s jaw went slack and Hank nodded at his boss’s look of disbelief. “That’s right. She’s come back. Apologized. Pretty much took the blame for everything. Said she loved me and wants to make our marriage work. She said she’ll never put her parents before me ever again. Oh, and she bought Luke a puppy. Partially housebroken.”

“That’s good, right?” Seth asked. “I mean, she said she was sorry and absolved you of any wrongdoing. You really can’t ask for more than that.”

“You’d think that would be enough, wouldn’t you?” Hank replied in frustration. “I’m pissed off at her, Seth, and I’m not sure I can trust this. What if she pulls the rug out from under me again?”

“What if she doesn’t?” Seth countered. “What if she’s really sincere and you pass up this chance to make your family whole again? How will you feel then?”

Hank jumped up from his desk, too much energy to sit still. “Shit, Seth, I want this to work but I’m having trouble believing in it.”

“So what did you say to her?”

“I told her that I couldn’t trust in it yet. That I couldn’t believe in this change in her.”

Seth’s eyebrows shot up. “Ouch. How did she take it?”

Hank let his breath out slowly. “That’s the thing. She was sweet and understanding, hell, almost matter of fact. She took it like a…”

“Grown-up?” Seth offered helpfully. “It had to happen sometime. She couldn’t stay under her parents’ thumb forever. You always knew this day would come.”

“I thought it would come right after we got married, not years later.”

“Could have been worse,” Seth smirked. “Someone could have been trying to kill her and you could have had to protect her with your life.”

Hank snorted with laughter. “You’ve got a damn point, buddy. My in-law issues seem pretty minor when I think about how your relationship with Presley started.”

An old Army buddy of Seth’s who was now a Federal Marshal had asked Seth to protect a woman in witness protection. That woman was Presley and someone had indeed wanted her dead. She’d had more than one attempt on her life before they put the guilty party behind bars.

“The one sure thing that I know is that time will tell,” Seth said. “Is Alyssa going on the trip with you and Luke or is she staying home?”

“No way Alyssa will want to go.” Hank shook his head. “Her idea of roughing it is sleeping with the windows open. I don’t see her getting up at the crack of dawn to fish either. Just one more difference between us. I really have no clue how we ended up together.”

“Then you should definitely take her with you,” Seth cracked. “See how serious she is about making things up.”

Hank’s smile widened. “That’s not a bad idea. A dose of the great outdoors will send her running back to the estate and mommy and daddy’s money. Then I won’t have to push her away. She’ll leave of her own accord.”

Seth leaned forward in his chair. “Now listen, I was just kidding. Torturing your wife is not a sound decision. If I pulled that shit on Presley she’d have my balls in a jar on the mantel.”

Hank had no doubt of that. Seth had a tiger by the tail when it came to his pretty wife.

“I would never torture Alyssa. But a trip to the great outdoors complete with bugs and a cabin is just the thing to underline how different we are.”

Seth stood and gave Hank a level look. “And that’s what you want? You’ll be happy when Alyssa leaves?”

He ignored the tightening in his chest. It was too late to repair their broken marriage. Maybe six months ago they might have done something, but now? Too much hurt, too much resentment. So many regrets.

“Eventually I will be happy.” Hank hooked his thumbs in his gun belt. “Alyssa will always be an important part of my life. She’s Luke’s mother, after all.”

But he couldn’t trust her with his heart.

“If that’s what you want. I assume you know what you’re doing.” Seth got up and poured himself another cup of coffee.

“You don’t sound very convinced,” Hank replied.