The Face In The Mirror (9 page)

On Thursday, I was like a giddy schoolgirl waiting for my date – a feeling
that I remembered dearly from those first dates so long ago. When he knocked,
I had to resist the urge to jump into his arms; instead, I acted reserved and
allowed him to make the move. He tugged me close and gave me a kiss that
made my heart race.

“Where are you taking me?”
“It’s a surprise,” he said as he hugged me. “You look beautiful.”
I noticed how his suit seemed to belong on that body, and I took a

He took my hand and we walked to his truck. After I was in and the door
closed, I took a deep breath. His truck smelled of
him
, and it was glorious! I
watched as he rounded the front of the truck, I knew that being together with
him felt perfect. I was hopeful that he really could be patient with me, I had so
much to sort through in my head, but I was working really hard to allow him to
be part of it,
with
me.

He drove with my hand in his lap. As he held it, I felt his fingers gently
caress the skin on the back of my hand. Such tenderness, from those big hands,
made me feel like the most special woman in the world.

Making our way to wherever we were going, we talked about the day. I
know my way around Jacksonville; I’ve lived here my whole life. I read about
my city so I know what’s what, who’s who, and where the best spots are. I
knew of most of the hidden gems around town, but I truly had no idea where
we were going.

Finally, he pulled in front of a small building and parked. It was at the
entrance to the Sea Oats Country Club and Golf Course. I took notice. It had a
covered patio and people dined beneath umbrella-covered tables lit with oil
lamps. The entrance had large pots with topiary trees, and small white lights
surrounded the doorway. I looked at the sign across the front of the building
that read
Mulligan’s
.

“I’ve never been here. I don’t think I’ve even heard of it.”
“You have to know someone to come here. The man I met with last night
gave me a ‘Gimme Pass’ to bring you here. I was telling him about you, about
your dream. He thought you would enjoy this place.”
“What’s a Gimme Pass?” I asked.
“It’s a golf term, something about a shot that isn’t actually played. I don’t
golf so I’m not sure, but Donovan’s is going to do some work here, so he gave
me the pass. I thought the name was appropriate.”
“Gimme?”
“No, Mulligan’s. Come on.”
He came around and opened my door. He took my hand, and we entered
the building, him still holding on to me. A young man seated us at a booth,
handing us menus. When I opened the menu, Mitchell’s comment about the
name being appropriate suddenly made sense. Across the leather-bound menu,
embossed in gold lettering, read
Mulligan’s – A Second Chance.
I moved from my
side of the booth to sit beside Mitchell.
“Thank you.”
He kissed me and the waiter arrived. Mitchell ordered a bottle of wine and
the young man walked away. He took my hand and kissed it, nibbling on my
fingers as he did, and I thought I would lose my mind right there. It was
sensuous and sexy, and when I pulled my hand away, his teasing expression left
me squirming in my seat.
“The gentleman we’re doing the work for purchased the restaurant about
eight months ago. It was more of a bar and he decided to class it up, give the
place a makeover. He changed the name to
Mulligan’s - A Second Chance
and put
it on track to make it classier, ‘elegant and desirable’, like you,” Mitchell said,
and smiled.
The meal was wonderful, the company far better. Sitting beside him
through the meal, his hand made soft sweeps up my leg, bravely getting closer
to the place between my legs with each movement.
“Mitchell,” I panted. “You’re driving me insane.”
“My dream,” he replied devilishly. The closer his hand crept, the hotter the
whole experience was. He snuck kisses on my neck - and I loved every second.

“I guess we do,” I said. “Mitchell, I’m so hot right now I don’t know if I
can wait ‘til we get home.” I loved the wicked smile on his face that was his
reply.

“If these are the dreams you wanted to share with me face to face, I hope
you have more.”
Changing the subject, he asked, “Can you get away this weekend?”
“I really need to go to Mom’s. It’s been four weeks since we were there.
I’ve had more important distractions,” I said with a smile, “but I’ve put it off
far too long and I need to get some more of that behind me. I can’t see a light
at the end of the tunnel yet, and it’s overwhelming me.”
“Exactly what I was thinking - a beach weekend, I’m missing that fuchsia
two piece,” he laughed.

When we reached my house, Mitchell pulled his bag and a cooler from
behind the seat and we went inside. My brain was so scrambled, I wanted to
throw down right there in the kitchen, but Mitchell slowed the pace by pulling a
bottle of Frangelico from the cooler bag he’d brought. I needed a distraction,
and I was happy to say yes to a drink.

He poured and we met on the sofa. “Thank you for a lovely evening. I like
capping it off with something sweet.” His hands swept up my thigh again.
“Stop it,” I said. He didn’t, but I really didn’t want him to.
He knew it, and set our glasses aside. His hand moved under my dress and
further up my leg.
“Renie, I want this. Now.” His voice was demanding, but he needn’t be. I
wanted it, too. He rose and pulled me from my seat.
His hands did amazing things to my neck before he lowered the zipper on
my dress. As he pushed it off my shoulders, I let it fall to the floor.
“Renie,” he said, kissing my neck. He stepped back. “I just want to look.”
I thought it would be uncomfortable. Instead, I felt playful and flirtatious.
“I’ve noticed that your underwear is always sexy and match whatever
you’re wearing. That’s new to me. I like it.” He pushed the straps of my teal bra
aside and kissed my bare shoulder.
“Until very recently, I dressed to please no one but me. My panties are
always lacey, and I buy the sexiest bras I can find. They make
me
feel good.
They make me feel sensual and I like it. And I have every color you can
imagine, Mitchell. Knowing that it pleases you makes, it even better,” I replied
in a seductive whisper.
“They
do
please me…” His finger traced the line of the lace bra across the
top of my breasts.
“They
are
sexy…” Another finger slipped just under the elastic of my
panties.
“And they make
me
feel good. Can you feel how good?” he asked stepping
closer, and I reached for him. He was hard, and I was so ready I thought I’d
pop.
He laid me back on the sofa and slipped his shirt off slowly. I swear I just
wanted to rip his pants off to hurry him along.
“Mitchell,” I said, and my throat burned with the heat I felt. When he was
finally naked, I pulled him to me.
His hand cupped me. “Wet and throbbing,” he murmured.
“Mitchell, don’t make me beg.”
“Beg, Renie. I want you to want me. It’s my dream. I want you to think
about every day that we’ve missed this.”
His hands framed my face and I arched to meet him. “I want you to make
love to me, Mitchell. Please. Now!”
“Good, because I don’t know if I could stop myself if you didn’t.”
He was no sooner inside me, than I had the orgasm of all orgasms…

An hour later, I was wrapped in Mitchell’s arms. Leaving blazing hot kisses
on my neck, he whispered against my skin. “I think we burned up the dinner
calories.”

“I think so, too. I might need a snack.” I turned into his arms. “Want a
cookie?”
“If that’s what you want to call it,” he smirked.
“I love this, Mitchell.”
“Wild-sex?” he asked
“Oh, that too, but what I love the most is ‘us’.” I dragged my fingers
through his hair and pulled him close for a kiss.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.”
“I can’t move,” I said.
He pushed my hair back from my face. Hovering above me, he leaned
closer, “I feel like that first year you were in college - those weekends when I
couldn’t get to you quick enough, and the hours of crazy sex when we finally
were together.”
I wrapped my arms around him, and he carried me up the stairs to my
room. When he joined me in the bed and spooned me to sleep, I knew I never
wanted to move from that spot.

Coffee was ready when we got up Friday morning. Mitchell got ready for
work, but I wasn’t making much progress.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“Just dreading going in.”
He gave me a hug. “Well, think about the weekend. I’ll pick you up here
after work this evening. Bring your Convenient Cuisine notebook and we’ll
spend some time going over that.”
After he was gone, I grabbed clothes for the weekend and put my
notebook in my bag. I grabbed some of Mom’s financial documents and made
notes to make a few calls during the day. I wanted to get some things on paper,
and I needed to know what was there. I’d been avoiding all of that, but it was
time.

When I arrived home from work, Mitchell was waiting in the driveway and
jumped out of his truck to hug me.
“The neighbors are going to talk,” I giggled as he backed away from our
sensuous kiss, and I pulled him back for another one.
“Let’em talk. They’ve seen me here before,” he said.
For the most part, the neighbors were the same people who had lived there
when I was a teenager, and the thought filled my head with memories. Mitchell
threw my things in the truck as I went inside and changed.
As Mitchell drove toward the beach I watched him, taking in the vision of
him, thinking I was the luckiest woman on earth. He must have read my mind,
because that moment he leaned over to kiss me.

I remembered my dad and Derek calling Mitchell ‘Mitch’ at Mom’s funeral.
He’d
never
been Mitch to me – always Mitchell. ‘Mitch’ sounded like a guy in a
ball cap who drank beer. Mitchell sounded classy, like a gentleman - exactly
what Mitchell Donovan always was. His mom did a good job raising him on
her own. Mom and Granny had always said so.

“His dad left when Mitchell was eight, and Alecia says there’s never been
any contact from him. Alecia works hard to keep him on the straight and
narrow, herself too. She started at the bank as a teller, and she’s worked her
way up to Vice President of the branch. Mitchell goes to college on a
scholarship from his grades,” Granny once told me proudly.

“Granny, you don’t have to try to sell me the car, I already want it,” I’d told
her and we both broke into giggles.
I missed her and my mom terribly.
“Where did you go?” Mitchell asked after a while.
“Back a few years,” I said with a grin.
“Good trip?”
“It was. You were there.” I looked his way to find a big smile. It was warm
and comforting, and I added, “I feel very blessed right now.”
“It’s a mutual feeling, Renie. I’m so sorry about
what
brought us back
together, but I am glad ‘together’ is where we are.”
As we drove, I thought of our life together when we were married. I
remembered every new experience we shared. Every limit we pushed and I
remembered falling in love with her…
And then I remembered her walking away.

“Mitchell, I’m moving out,” she said, and I think my head spun around like
the girl in
The Exorcist
.
“Renie? What are you saying? Why?” I shouted, not sure I understood
what she meant.
She sat on the sofa and wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t lift her eyes to look
at me. “I just can’t do this anymore. It’s more than I thought and I’m missing
so much.”
“What in the hell does that mean?” I yelled.
“School, your job, my job. It’s just more than I can handle. I’m moving
home until I can get myself together.”
“Home to your daddy? Really, Renie? Listen to yourself! Why haven’t we
even talked about this before now? Why are you sharing your feelings right
before you’re just ready to go? You owe me an explanation. I need to know!”
“You’re shouting at me,” she said in a soft voice.
“I’m trying to make you hear me! I don’t want you to go! I want to spend
forever with you, Renie, and sometimes forever has twists and turns. There are
peaks and valleys that when two people love each other, they find their way
through together.”
“Daddy has already filed the papers.” She said the words with no emotion.
No tears, just a flat line statement. Exactly the way my heart felt.
“Renie, tell me you don’t love me!” I shouted as I moved closer to where
she sat.
She still wouldn’t make eye contact.
“Renie. Say it, goddammit! Tell me that these last eleven years were
nothing! Tell me that you don’t love me!” I screamed at her.
“I can’t. I just know that this isn’t the life I dreamed for us. Derek and
Daddy will be here in a little while.”

I left the apartment. I couldn’t be there when they arrived and hauled her
away. I drove for hours and finally ended up at Granny’s. There were no cars
there, so I walked to the door and knocked. When she opened it, I fell into her
tiny, waiting arms and wept.

“I don’t know, Mitchell. Mona and I have both tried to talk to her. She
won’t listen; she’s made up her mind. But I know this. She still loves you.”
“Then why?” I asked once more. “Why didn’t she talk to me?”
Granny hugged me. “I’ve been praying for Renie to wake up and realize
what she was doing.
But months passed, and then years…

I watched him. I could tell he was thinking about something else, too. I
waited a minute, then finally leaned across the seat and kissed his cheek. My
phone rang as I settled back, and I looked at the display.

“Oh, holy hell,” I said, and blew out a frustrated breath.
“Who is it?”
“My dad. He’s probably called ten times in the last week.” I blew out

another breath and continued, “I don’t want to answer it. I don’t want to deal
with him right now. I haven’t even listened to the messages from the previous
calls.”

“Then don’t,” Mitchell said, “but you know you’re going to have to
sometime.”
“Why do you always have to be so right?” I asked in a sarcastic tone. “I’ll
listen to the messages first. I’m sure it’s just baby news and he’s pissed because
I haven’t acknowledged it.”
I listened to messages filled with baby announcements from both my dad
and my brother, followed by scolding from them both, voicing their
disappointment that I didn’t have the ‘courtesy’ to return their phone calls.
After I’d listened to each one, I held the phone in my lap and zoned out,
looking out the window as we crossed the river that led us to the beach.
“Well?”
“I have a new sister, a new nephew. They’re elated, and I’m a terrible
daughter and sister for not calling. Life is good,” I said with a snip. “I’m gonna
just bite it and get it over with.”
I picked up the phone and dialed my dad.
The worst, first
, I thought.
“Well, well, well,” he said, his caller ID alerting him that it was me calling.
“Hey, sorry,” I said.
“You have a new sister who’s almost two weeks old and you haven’t even
called to offer your congratulations.”
Half-sister,
I thought, and rolled my eyes before saying, “Congratulations!”
attempting to keep sarcasm from my tone. I could feel my whole body tense
up, and suddenly felt Mitchell’s hand massaging my neck as he drove.
God, how did I live without him?
“And your brother informs me that he hasn’t heard from you since Jared
Wayne Ridgeway entered the world either,” he continued ranting.
Of course Derek had to suck up and give his son part of my dad’s name.
Wayne Ridgeway was egotistical enough that I was sure he’d demanded it.
Naturally, Derek had his head so far up my dad’s ass that I’m sure he’d planned
it before the big guy said a word about it, not caring what Janelle wanted.
Riding
coat tails has a price,
I thought.
I decided to play the guilt card to continue my end of the conversation. “I
said I was sorry. Taking care of Mom’s affairs has been time consuming and
emotional in a way that I’m sure I can’t really express. I’ve been busy with all
that. What is my sister’s name?”
“Rowena Rochelle Ridgeway,” he said proudly.
Really? RRR?
I thought, but I made the fuss he expected.
“There will be a christening celebration and reception. We will bless both
babies on the same Sunday. As soon as she confirms the details, Roxy will be
mailing the invitations.”
“OK,” I replied, not committing to anything.
“Renee, I love you. Call your brother,” he said when we finished talking. I
always hated that me made me feel like a child.
“You, too. I need to go. I’m almost at the condo. Talk soon,” I replied and
hung up, immediately dialing Derek’s number.
“Hey there, congrats on the baby,” I said when he answered. “Sorry I’ve
been out-of-pocket, just lots to do taking care of everything at Mom’s. I didn’t
remember that she had so much stuff!” I babbled, not giving him a chance to
talk. “Dad told me about the christening, I’ll make sure to RSVP…”
“Renee, shut up,” he laughed.
“Sorry, on my way to Mom’s now to sort through more stuff. It makes me
anxious.”
“I’m sorry you have to do that alone.” He even sounded sincere when he
said it.
“It’s good. It seems each thing I stumble upon, pack away, and sort to
throw away, or donate gives me some kind of closure. I’ve put some things
aside for you. I promise I won’t bring them to the christening,” I laughed.
“So you’ll come?”
“How could I miss my nephew and my sister being dedicated to God?” I
rolled my eyes, and that put a big smile on Mitchell’s face.
“I wondered,” he said. “Born twelve hours apart, but on different days,
thank God.”
“Listen Derek, I’m almost there. I really need to get my head right before I
open the door to go in. We’ll talk soon.”
“Renee, I miss you, let’s have coffee…”
“Soon,” I interrupted, “I really gotta go.”