The Falling Kind (14 page)
Authors: Randileigh Kennedy
I thought I would struggle to fall asleep, or worse, I feared I would toss and turn all night from bad dreams of what happened at the bar. Instead, I awoke around nine a.m., feeling somewhat refreshed, even though my eyes were still swollen from all the crying the night before.
Cole dropped me off after our conversation in his truck last night, and I didn’t say another word to him. He told me he wasn’t leaving me as I got out of the truck, but he didn’t make a move to get out and follow me either, which I was thankful for. I came in, took a long shower to get the blood off my arms, and that was it. Sleep came easy after that.
I immediately called Sam before climbing out of my bed, eager to make sure she was okay. If we had been at the bar alone, just the two of us, I never would’ve left her, not under even the worst of circumstances. But since she was with Luke, I figured she would at least make it home safely.
“Hey, what happened to you guys last night?” she answered, sounding way too happy for my somber mood.
“You really don’t know?” I asked wearily.
“No. Syd, are you okay?” her concerned voice replied. I heard a male voice in the background, and I could hear her whisper something about giving her a minute.
“Are you with Luke?” I questioned.
“Yeah,” she said happily. “When we realized you ditched us, we had to get a ride from one of his friends. I assumed that was your way of encouraging me to stay with him,” she explained with slight giggle. “I’m still at his place. What’s up?”
I choked back the tears, hoping not to shed a single one about this today. “I just, well, I want to talk,” I said hesitantly, not even sure where to begin. “What are you doing later?”
“Hanging with you,” she said warmly. She was truly the best kind of friend. “What time? Do you want to catch a volleyball game at the beach or just go somewhere to chat?”
“Yeah, later,” I agreed, wanting to give her plenty of time to enjoy her morning. My problems could wait. After all, I guess I really didn’t
have
a problem anymore. Cole dropped me off and left, so maybe that would be the end of it. I think he finally realized how mad I was.
We made vague plans to hang out sometime that afternoon for a little beach time and some grub. She was going to call me later whenever she parted from Luke. We worked together at the clinic tomorrow, so I knew we would have plenty of time to talk about it then, but a beach day and some food with my best friend after the traumatizing night I had, it was so needed. I wondered if she would even be able to sympathize with me though considering how love-struck she sounded.
I didn’t plan to have a productive morning at all. I stretched, worked on some commands with Dexter, trying to ignore the fact that it was my last day with him, and made some eggs for a late breakfast. Finally around ten I decided to head out for a walk to clear my head.
I threw on some shorts and a tank top and opened my front door. My heart stopped as I realized there was someone sitting on my steps, leaning up against my house. He appeared to be sleeping.
“Cole?” I questioned, causing him to stir. “What are you doing?”
“I told you I wouldn’t leave you,” he replied directly, trying to stand up. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before and his hands and arms were still caked in blood.
“You’re a mess. Why didn’t you go home?”
“Because I’ve never said anything to you that I didn’t mean,” he said candidly, wincing in pain as his muscles moved. “I know you were pissed at me last night, and now that I’ve had twelve hours to think about it, I’m understanding it a little better.”
I didn’t want to smile at him, I swear. But his words were so sincere that I couldn’t help it. And the fact that he spent the entire night and half the morning on my steps as he was, I knew that meant something. He was really trying.
“Cole, I just…” I hesitated, unsure of what to say. I didn’t rehearse this conversation beforehand, because honestly, I wasn’t sure I would even be speaking to him again.
“I know I’m not good enough for you, Syd. I’ve known that from the moment I saw you. But you make me want to try
so
hard to be that for you.”
I stared at him as he spoke, and my heart hurt. I believed his words. I really did. Not because the way he said them, or how he phrased them. But the look in his eyes as he said it, that mattered. He had to be the only man in the world who could look so gentle and honest while covered in someone else’s blood. I wanted to be mad at him. I was so fearful of him just hours earlier, but the way he looked at me – there was nothing to fear in his expression.
“You told me last night that I hurt you,” he continued. “That crushed me.” His eyes looked so sincere. “Please don’t give up on me.”
“I don’t know how to do this,” I said truthfully, trying to hold back some emotion in my voice. “Everything that happened last night, it was terrifying. I didn’t even recognize you.” Despite my best efforts, a slow tear fell down my cheek. “You really scared me last night.”
“Syd, please don’t cry. I hate this. I never want to be the reason you feel like this.”
“Me either,” I said quietly. I didn’t mean it to be hurtful, I was just being honest.
“There’s so much I want to tell you,” he replied with such sincerity. “I’m not making any excuses for what I did, I know it was horrible. But there’s so much more to the story. You have to trust that you are safe with me. I would never hurt you. You are as safe as you’ll possibly ever be with me. I would never let anything bad happen to you. I’m sorry you were scared, I really am. But you have to know I will stop at nothing to protect you. You have nothing to be scared of.”
“Cole, I don’t see violence the same way as you do. That was really awful under any circumstances. The way you lost control like that – you were hitting him and he wasn’t even moving.”
“I know,” he replied somberly. I could hear the regret in his voice. “When I get like that, it’s like I’m outside of my own body. It’s like I can’t control what’s happening.”
“
When
you get like that? How often does this happen? How are you not in jail?”
“I’ve been in jail before,” he said hesitantly. “I’m not going to tell you this is the first fight I’ve ever been in. But there’s so much more to tell you.”
I stared at him, feeling so conflicted. I wasn’t sure why we were even having this conversation. I’d meant what I said last night about not wanting to know any more about him. This was all so far away from my comfort level. But the way he stood here in front of me, looking so disheveled and defeated – I couldn’t help but want to fix him. I so badly wanted to turn him back into the guy I saw on the boat yesterday; the guy I ate tacos with and watched baby turtles with.
That
Cole – that was a guy I was so easily falling for before last night. I hated how quickly things had changed.
“That was the same guy who stabbed me the night I met you,” he began, filling the silence whether I wanted to hear it or not. “I had no intentions of retaliating for that. Honestly, before I met you, I would’ve had something done to that guy within twenty-four hours of it happening. But in some strange, sick deranged way, I was thankful for it. Because that’s what brought me to you.”
The sentiment in his voice was sweet, despite the odd circumstances.
“I left it alone. I genuinely for the first time ever didn’t care about it. You made me feel like I had more important things to do with my time.” He smiled at me as he said it and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
“The way he talked to you and looked at you, I just… snapped. I hated the way that part of my life was overlapping with the goodness I found in you,” he said sincerely. “I felt those two worlds colliding and I just wanted it to be over. And then I reacted, which you witnessed, unfortunately.”
“Do you at all feel like maybe we just shouldn’t be together?” I asked softly. I felt like it was a rhetorical question, even though for so many reasons I wanted him to change my mind.
“Nothing could make me feel that way,” he answered, shaking his head. “I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to make this right. To do right by you. To be better for you.”
“Cole,” I sighed, accepting he was not making this easy on me. “You’re covered in blood. Your face is still swollen. I don’t even know what to do about you.”
“So help me clean up?” he suggested with a mischievous smile.
“That is so disturbing,” I said dramatically, rolling my eyes.
“Look, I’m not promising you I’m the perfect guy, Syd. I know I have some flaws. I know I’m broken. But I’m working on it. You give me so much reason to work on it.” He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against mine.
“Will you make me a promise?” I asked as he slowly pulled away.
“Anything.”
“Will you never kiss me again while wearing someone else’s blood all over your shirt?” I snickered.
“I will promise you that,” he said with a slight laugh, moving us both inside my condo. “And I hear you loud and clear.” In one swift motion he removed his shirt, and I remembered all over again one of the many reasons I fell so quickly for him.
“I’m serious, go take a shower before this goes any further,” I stated, pointing him towards the stairs.
“You realize these swollen hands of mine are never going to get me close enough to your clean standards,” he mused. “I’m going to need some help.”
“There are so many things wrong with what’s happening right now,” I said with animated arms, following him up the stairs. “I feel like an accomplice.”
“You are,” he teased, kissing me one more time before we headed into the bathroom. “Which means now you’re stuck with me. You know too much.”
“So I really get to stay at your place tonight?” I asked as we headed towards West Cove in his truck. Apparently Cole’s shower knocked some sense into him. He was finally so much more open to letting me into his world. Sam was still busy with Luke when I texted her so we canceled our beach idea. That meant I technically didn’t have any plans. That probably helped tip the scales in his favor. He promised me tacos and a night at his place. It seemed so simple, but that’s what I loved about him. He was simple. And that was enough for me.
“Yes,” he said reluctantly, “but I swear, it’s not impressive. At all. I just want to make sure you have extremely low expectations.”
“I don’t care what it looks like,” I said honestly. It really didn’t matter to me at all. I just wanted him to make sense to me. Knowing more about his past, that helped. I imaged knowing more about his current situation would help as well. When we were together, it was amazing. He treated me so well when it was just the two of us. He was funny and caring and I could see the way he felt in his eyes – that was so comforting to me, because I felt like I never had to guess what was going on in his brain when we were together. But the rest of it, our differences – I was so worried those would tear us apart, and I genuinely wanted to overcome that.
We stopped by Antonio’s on the way to Cole’s place and we got our food to go. Cole remembered the exact tacos I loved from our date and he ordered the same kind, remembering which ones were too spicy for me. He was very thoughtful like that. Once we had our food we continued the drive further into West Cove.
We finally pulled up a dirt road, heading towards the trees. It looked similar to the road we were on last night after the bar. It was far more secluded than all of the roads closer to the lake, filled with streetlights and tourists. This was a totally different world.
There were some trailers here and there with dirty old mailboxes out front. Some had boards over their windows where the glass had been shattered, and it looked quite depressing. There were old plastic toys scattered out front of most of the properties, leading me to believe there were full families living in some of the dilapidated structures. I’d never seen anything like this back home in Chicago.
Cole pulled up a small driveway that led to a beautiful, good-sized log cabin. It looked far more majestic than all of the other living spaces we saw on the way. Behind that cabin I could see five or six other cabins, much smaller in size. It almost looked like a campground of sorts. There looked to be some communal spaces, but each cabin also had its own little area for parking and such. Towards the very back of the property, I could see a large building of some sort. I imagined that was the ‘warehouse’ Cole referred to occasionally.
“So, the main house is Harvey’s of course,” Cole explained, pointing to the log cabin. “He lives there with his wife Sonita.”
“He’s married?” I asked with a surprised tone. I guess I’d never really asked, but it just struck me as odd the way Cole talked about him. He almost made it sound like it was just the two of them all the time. I didn’t realize there was a woman.
“Yeah, over forty years,” he replied with a smirk. “I know you’ve heard some unfavorable things about him, about his line of work and everything. But deep down he’s a good guy. He loves Sonita like I’ve never seen in anyone else.”
I smiled as he said it. I guess he
did
have a good role model in Harvey on some levels. “That’s beautiful,” I stated wistfully.
“He’s taught me a lot. He’s always stressed three things to me. Stand up for yourself, work hard, and do right by the one who loves you.” He stared at me with his intense eyes. I treasured these moments with him when he spoke with such seriousness. “He’s lived that way his whole life. I guess that’s why I look up to him so much. All those things have mattered to me.”
“Is that why you do everything you do for him?” I asked quietly as he pulled into a small lot next to one of the undersized cabins behind Harvey’s.
“He’s the only one I know to do right by,” he shrugged. “No one has ever cared for me the way Harvey has. I was such a shattered, tormented little boy. I thought the entire world gave up on me. Then he came along and proved to me that I hadn’t been completely given up on after all. He was the first and only person who remained present in my life. I owe him a lot for that.”
I completely understood what he was saying. I truly did, given the life he’d had. But I also wondered how far that loyalty went. I wondered what kinds of things Harvey expected from him. I wondered if Harvey took advantage of Cole in that way, knowing he felt that kind of obligation towards him. I wondered how much of the trouble Cole got in – whether that was his own doing, or Harvey’s.
“So this is paradise,” he said, interrupting my stream of thoughts. He stretched his arms out to a cute little cabin complete with a screen door and window boxes. There were no flowers in them of course, but they screamed with potential. The place was far cuter than I expected it to be. “Oh no, don’t do that. You’re already building it up,” he said, wagging a finger near my face. “I see that look in your eyes, like when you see an animal – you think it’s adorable and you get really excited. But this place is
not
adorable. You’re going to want a tetanus shot before you leave.”
“Come on, take me inside,” I said with a laugh. He shut off the truck and we climbed out. The trees surrounding us looked majestic. The property itself wasn’t necessarily awe-inspiring, but it offered so much – space to run, some privacy, and even a concrete basketball court towards the back.
“This used to be a campground a long time ago,” he explained, leading me towards the front door. “Harvey acquired it about twenty years ago. Right now only a few of the other cabins have residents – those people tend to come and go. I’ve lived in this one here ever since I was a teenager.” He opened the door and it was dimly lit. I was surprised to find it was essentially just a rectangular box inside. “It looks like a charming log cabin, right? But it’s actually just a modular box structure they attached logs to on the outside. Tourists used to come here to camp and they sold it to them as these little log cabin bungalows. I’ve always wondered how many people realized that’s not exactly the case.”
There was a small kitchen area, a queen sized bed in one corner, a bistro table, and a door on the opposite end which I assumed was a bathroom. He kept everything organized, but he was right – it wasn’t exactly adorable. The old linoleum floor was peeled up along the corners and seams and the laminate countertops were scraped and chipped. It was definitely from another time period.
“This isn’t terrible,” I said honestly. I mean it was livable. I certainly would’ve made more of an effort to spruce the place up a bit, but for a guy, it could be far worse.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about this place,” he teased. “Come on. We’re eating outside.”
He grabbed some blankets from underneath his bed and led me back to his truck where he opened up the tailgate. He spread out the blankets and lifted me up into the back of the truck with such ease.
“Out here in the woods this is what we call fine dining,” he said sarcastically. “Tacos, a stereo, and stars – that’s all we need.”
“This is perfect,” I said sincerely as he spread out our food. The sun had set and the stars overhead began to light up the sky. The air was perfectly calm and it was actually quite pleasant out.
“
So this is it. The night of truths, right?” he mused, handing me my food. “I think you promised to tell me all of your dark, dirty secrets or something.”
I shot him a playful look. “So far
you
are my darkest secret,” I teased. “I’ve never dated a guy with a record. Or tattoos. Or a 1950s linoleum floor.”
He laughed at me. “Really? So you’re saying I’m the worst thing you’ve ever done?”
“I wouldn’t word it like that,” I stated with a slight laugh, trying to keep the mood light. “But from your point of view, I think it’s fair to say that my life experiences have been pretty sheltered up until now.”
“Well I’m glad I can help you live a little,” he teased back. He smiled at me and I was so happy we were here together. If he hadn’t stayed outside my condo all night, I wondered how this would’ve played out. Would I have given in and called him anyway? I wasn’t sure. But either way I was so glad he didn’t have a single bit of hesitation when it came to us. “You probably want to start asking me questions, right?” he said with a smirk. “I know that’s what you’ve been waiting for. This is it. I won’t hold anything back.”
“Maybe you should start from the beginning,” I shrugged, unsure of what to even ask. There was so much to know.
“Well you know how I ended up with Harvey,” he began, leaning back on his elbows. “Once my father went to jail, his sister took off from the trailer we were staying in down the road. So I was literally left all alone. Once Harvey took me in, I obviously grew up watching what he did. He always had all of these things going on. The bike shop, he actually owns it. It’s just a little further up the road that way,” he said pointing. “It’s partly a chop shop though, so although that’s the most innocent place I work for a living, it still comes with some problems. I mean don’t get me wrong, I don’t do anything illegal there myself, per se. I just work on the bikes. But I’m not totally oblivious to the fact that some of the parts I use are stolen.”
He looked up at me, waiting for my judgment. I honestly didn’t have any at the moment, I wanted to hear so much more.
“Harvey has all of these other circuits,” he continued, trying to break it down for me. “He’s got some kind of gambling ring going on, that’s been in place for years. I think my dad used to be involved in that in some way. A lot of the wrong people owe Harvey money, and sometimes collecting that money gets messy. Like I told you before, my job is essentially to just pick up money and deliver it back to him. Sometimes he has people to pay himself and I make those drops for him also. But sometimes those exchanges don’t go well.”
“And that’s why you were stabbed outside of my clinic, right?” I asked softly. “Over money?”
“Yes, with a little blackmail thrown in,” he answered honestly. “Someone has some dirt on him, but I don’t know what that is, or if it’s even valid. Harvey rarely ever does a drop himself, but that night he insisted on doing it for some reason. That’s how I knew it wasn’t just about money, there had to be something else going on. I told him I could deliver the package myself, but he refused to let me. I followed him that night, obviously for good reason. Harvey always taught me to trust my instincts, and the whole thing just didn’t feel right. The fact that he wanted to do the deal alone, that was a red flag. Anyway, he got stabbed and I tried to intervene. I hit the guy pretty hard and got him off Harvey, but his knife still got my arm. Then, ironically, a light turned on in your clinic.”
I thought back to that night. Was that when Eva went into the supply room to get the net for her dead fish? There was a window in there.
“I think it spooked the guy, like someone heard what was going on. He saw the light and panicked. He told me that wasn’t the end of things and he would find me, and then he took off.”
What a random thing to happen with the light from the clinic.
It was scary to think about what would’ve happened if the light was never flipped on. I was suddenly so thankful for Eva’s inept fish care. I watched Cole as he spoke, so relieved that he was finally letting it all out. I didn’t want any more secrets or omissions.
“I saw how bad Harvey was bleeding, and at first he refused to let me help him, but I had to. The nearest building was yours.” He smiled as he said it. “The second I saw you, I…” He paused, trying to think of how to say what he wanted. “It’s like I forgot for a moment what had just happened. You were there in your scrubs with your blonde hair tied up and all I could think was that you looked so far away from where I was. Not your physical distance, but I mean
you.
You looked so professional and put together and you were in a vet office, doing something
good
– and here I was, interrupting you with violence.”
“The blood freaked me out initially, but you looked eerily calm for the situation,” I recalled.
“Probably because I was mesmerized by you,” he smirked. “I was trying to act cool and nonchalant, like it was no big deal. But honestly I was completely panicked. I knew Harvey was in some kind of deep trouble at that point. Not from his wound, but by the whole situation. Harvey never lets his guard down like that, so I knew something was very wrong.”
“How much do you really know about what Harvey does?” I questioned.
“Honestly, more than I should, but not nearly enough,” he tried to explain. “I know there are drugs going in and out of his warehouse. I don’t have anything to do with that either, but I guarantee you the money I’m touching is directly related to that. Harvey tries to keep me out of the loop on a lot of it so that if the operation gets busted, I’ll be in the clear. I doubt I’m so clear though.”