The Falling Kind (21 page)

              “Why not? What’s the worst that can happen?” the bartender shrugged.

              “Last time I drank I killed my boyfriend,” I said quietly. I don’t know why that came out of my mouth.

              “You killed that guy? With all the muscles and the tattoos?” Chad said in a panicked voice.

              “No,” I shook my head, wrongly amused by his misunderstanding. “The guy before that.”

              “I’ll get you that Shirley Temple,” the bartender said quickly with big eyes.

              “No, I should probably just get out of here,” I shrugged, getting up from my barstool. “I don’t know why I came here.”

              “Do you need to talk or something?” Chad asked politely. “I’m meeting someone here in a few minutes, but if you need an ear…”

              The door of the bar swung open at that moment and a tall blonde in a low cut tank top walked in.
Britt.
Seeing Cole’s ex tonight was not what I needed at the moment.

              “No thanks,” I said through a fake smile. “Nice to see you again. Good luck with that,” I added, motioning towards the door. I quickly grabbed my purse and made a loop around the room and outside the front door so that I wouldn’t have to cross paths with her. The cool evening air hit me in the face and made my head feel a little less cloudy, but I still felt unlike my usual self. Words at the bar were just falling out of my mouth, to strangers no less – what was that? I wasn’t sure why I went in there in the first place. I just wanted to be anywhere but home, but that wasn’t helping. I felt like I wanted an escape from all the thoughts circling around in my head, but I should’ve known better. Alcohol only made things worse for me, never better.

              I drove slowly down the block to my condo, thankful I was so close. It was only two drinks, I knew that, but my head still didn’t feel right. Suddenly now I was ready for sleep – something to take my mind off of Cole tonight. I parked my car and walked up my steps, slowly turning the key in my door. I somberly walked in, closing the door behind me, thankful there was only one dim light left on in my living room. Bright lights sounded the opposite of comforting at the moment. I simply wanted to climb in bed and forget this entire day.

              As I set my purse down on the small table in my entryway, I immediately felt a strange draft of air, causing the hairs on my arm to prickle. I glanced across the room through the dim light past my dining room table.

             
Was my kitchen window open?

              I flicked on the living room light, trying to figure out where the air was coming from. I didn’t recall opening any windows before I left for the movies, and I was pretty sure I would’ve noticed it earlier if Cole opened them up for some reason before he let himself out.

Before I could process anything, two cold, strong hands reached out from the darkness behind me, pressing over my mouth. They felt rough and unfamiliar.

I could feel warm breath on the back of my neck as a deep, unrecognizable voice spoke into my ear. “Don’t scream.”

CHAPTER 19

My entire body went numb and I felt sick and dizzy all at once. My eyes widened and filled with tears.

The hands covering my mouth stayed firmly on me, and the strong tattooed arms wrapped around me didn’t loosen their grip.

“I promise I’m not here to hurt you,” the voice said from behind me, “but you need to promise me you won’t scream.”

Honestly, even if I wanted to scream, I wasn’t entirely confident any sound would come out. I was so completely petrified, unable to even think straight.

I slowly nodded my head in agreement and he loosened his grasp.

The strong man still held me, restricting my movement, but he maneuvered his body in front of me. He was tall, well over six feet, and his face looked tired and weathered. He had really short, light brown hair with a military-style cut, and flecks of grey showed through his facial hair stubble.

His eyes looked directly into mine as he slowly moved his hand from my mouth. They were a soft blue-green color and they reminded me of Cole.
Cole. This man had Cole’s eyes.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” the man replied softly. “Do you know who I am?”

“I… I think so,” I stammered quietly. I wasn’t sure if that was something to admit or not, but my thought process was shattered.

“My name is Grady, and I believe you know my son Cole.” He continued to stare at me as he spoke, probably still wondering if I planned to scream for help at any point. Instead I just slowly nodded. “I imagine you’ve heard a thing or two about me?”

              “A little,” I squeaked, unsure of what else to say.

              “Probably nothing good,” he replied quietly.

              “Cole’s not here,” I said nervously, unsure what he was expecting tonight. I was hoping that may be enough to make him leave.

              “I know that,” he stated calmly. “I’m just here to pass along a message for him.”

              I studied his face, wondering why he was truly here. My entire body was tense and I wanted to throw up my nerves.

              “Did you see him tonight?” I asked reluctantly.

              “I did,” Grady said calmly. “He wanted me to tell you he has to lay low for a bit. Don’t turn on the TV. If you do, don’t panic. Don’t believe everything you hear, and don’t freak out about it. Just go to Antonio’s tomorrow.”

              The Antonio’s part led me to believe that he really had talked to Cole at some point. How else would he have known that was part of our plan?

              “Why did he send you? I don’t believe he would’ve sent you,” I said quietly. It didn’t make sense. He hated his father, and from what Harvey said, his father was working for the other side. His presence here didn’t add up.             

“What all do you know about me?” He narrowed his eyes at me, and I felt less afraid of him as he spoke. There was some softness to his eyes, something that made him seem less threatening. But I still knew from Cole and Harvey that he wasn’t someone to take lightly.

              “I don’t really know anything,” I stated truthfully.

              “What has Cole told you about me?” he asked bluntly. He loosened his grip on me again and motioned me towards the couch.

              “I don’t know, not much,” I said nervously.

              “I need your honesty,” Grady said calmly, sitting down next to me on the couch. “I know you’re scared right now, but we need to have a conversation.”

              “He only told me one thing about you,” I said quietly. “He said you were cruel. That’s all he remembers of you.” I probably should’ve softened my words, but I didn’t have anything else to say. The truth was, that was the single only detail Cole had ever mentioned. “He was just a boy,” I added with emotion weighing heavy in my throat. My eyes welled up and I still felt frozen. “He was just a little boy,” I whispered again.

              “I
was
cruel,” he said softly, nodding his head. He continued to stare at me. “I was not a good father. I was young, and I had no help. I didn’t know what to do with him. I was so worried about myself, trying to make a living, trying to get ahead. I know I wasn’t a good father. I wasn’t what he needed. I know that.”

              These admissions from Grady were completely unexpected. But then again, I wondered what his true motives were for being here. I felt like he was baiting me into some kind of trap, and I wasn’t sure I could trust him.

              “I sent him letters,” Grady continued with a hint of nostalgia in his voice. “Once I sobered up in prison, I finally saw what a terrible person I had become. I regretted it. All of it. I wrote him letters, trying to reach out to him. I didn’t want his forgiveness, and as a child I didn’t expect his understanding. But I wanted him to know that I knew - - that I knew I’d messed up, and that I’d failed him. I just wanted him to know I knew that.”

              “He never told me you tried contacting him,” I said skeptically, wondering if he was making it all up.

              “He didn’t know. I sent the letters to Harvey. I got word from other inmates coming and going that Harvey had taken him in. I didn’t really know him, he lived in the cabin up the street from a trailer I was staying in at the time. I didn’t know where else to send the letters. For a long time, I had no idea Harvey wasn’t giving my correspondence to him.”

              “How do you know that now?” I questioned, wondering if I would be able to decipher his lies from truths. 

              “When I got out of prison a couple years back, I tried to reconnect with Cole. I knew he would be angry with me, I expected that. Even if he threw all my letters away, I still expected him to read at least one. But the only exchange we had when I was released, it was brief – he told me I was a liar. He didn’t believe I spent one second thinking about him while I was put away. He obviously didn’t get one single letter I sent. A few months back he was in jail, briefly, and we crossed paths. He still didn’t believe Harvey would do such a thing because of course Harvey denied all of it.”

              I studied his face as he spoke, trying to determine how genuine he seemed. His words sounded sincere, but his face looked like one of those men who could easily change their expression to fit the mood of the situation. He could easily lie to me and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

              “You look like you don’t believe me,” he said, calling me out. Apparently he was good at reading people.

              “It doesn’t matter if I believe you or not,” I shrugged. “You’re trying to tell me Harvey is the bad guy and you’re not? You abandoned your own child. I have no sympathy for you. Why would Cole send you here?” I asked directly. I wanted him to just cut to the chase.

              “Because Cole finally realized the truth,” he said in a frustrated tone. “A lot came out tonight. Burton had been blackmailing Harvey all these years, but it finally all came to a head tonight. Harvey’s kept so many things from Cole all these years. Things about his mother – Harvey was the one supplying her with all the drugs that destroyed her. She still lives in town, walking around as high as a kite, and Cole didn’t even know it. Even truths about what really happened to Harvey’s boy, those came out as well – Burton knew it all. And it wasn’t the same story Harvey told Cole. It all came out tonight. Cole knows the truth. He finally knows we’re not on such different sides after all.”

“How do I know any of that’s true?” I asked straightforwardly.

“How else would I know about you?”

              I stared at him with questioning eyes. He did have a valid point there, but from the way Harvey and Cole made it sound, it was possible someone else could know that information. Maybe someone followed me one night, or maybe someone picked up on where Cole had been staying most of the summer. “Prove it,” I stated, crossing my arms. Any fear I had of this man faded, and now I was just pissed. He came into my house, intimidating me, possibly lying to me… I had no reason to trust him, and no reason to help him.

              “He told me when things got messy tonight, to find you and get word to you that he was completely okay,” he explained.

              “Why didn’t you start with that?” I sneered.

              “Geez, the one thing he didn’t tell me was that you were such a ball buster,” he smirked. “He said you would at least hear me out. He said you were
good
. He was very clear on that. He said you would give me a chance because of your goodness. He said you would at least listen to me. He was afraid you would see the news and you would panic. Just ignore what you hear and go to Antonio’s in the morning. That’s why he sent me, to make sure you knew that.”

              “What happened tonight?” I asked bluntly, hoping for some answers. I still wasn’t sure I could trust him, despite all of the information he was relaying to me.

              “That’s a story for Cole to tell you,” he said warily. “I have no place in his business. I’m just here to do right by him for once in my life because I promised him I would. That’s it. I’m not here to fix the past, or to change his mind about me for the future. I have no right to do so. I just want you to know he’s okay, and I want you to know how grateful I am that he has a girl like you. One who is
good
. One who cares about him despite their own circumstance. You are the only thing that can make this better for him, Sydney,” he stated. “Everyone in Cole’s life has given up on him. Every single person. His mother chose her addiction over him, and I chose my pride. Harvey chose power over him, and used him to gain what he wanted. His relationships gave up on him, everyone. You haven’t. He said you’re the single only person who hasn’t given up on him. That’s all he needs to walk away from all of this. And now he finally has an opportunity to do that.”

              I wasn’t sure exactly what Grady meant by that, that now Cole had an opportunity to get out. He already tried once, but was still sucked back in. I was fairly certain that Cole needed an entirely new life to get away from his past.  

              “I’m sorry about your window,” he stated, redirecting the conversation. “I did have to bust the lock to get in, but I made a temporary fix. I’ll show you before I go.”

              “And where exactly are you going?” I asked curiously. I wondered if he would be going back to wherever Cole was.

              “To right one last wrong,” he said surreptitiously. “I won’t see Cole again, if that’s what you’re wondering. He’s gone. He had to leave. I’m sure you’ll get more information tomorrow when you go to Antonio’s.”

              “What do you mean he’s gone? What does that mean?” I asked, trying not to sound somewhat hysterical.

              “I don’t know where he’s going, he wouldn’t tell me much. But I imagine you’ll find that out tomorrow. All will be fine, just have some faith,” he answered with a smile.
Not a very credible thing out of a violent criminal’s mouth.
“I’m glad I met you, Sydney,” he said politely, standing up from my couch. His eyes softened as he spoke. “I’m sorry for so much. For all his flaws – I know those are because of me. I am so grateful he’s found someone to love him in spite of all that. If there’s a boy who ever deserved your goodness, he’s the one.”

              He smiled at me and I blankly stared back at him. I had so many more questions for him, but I could tell he was done talking. He led me over to the window, showing me how to wedge a fork in the broken lock to keep it tight until I could get it fixed.

              “I’ll go out the back if you don’t mind,” he said softly. I nodded and he let himself out. I imagined that was the last time I would ever see Cole’s father. It felt bittersweet in a way, to meet someone that played such a powerful role in Cole’s life, even though it was such a sad story. But to see the emotion in his face when he talked about his past – I believed he did have some true regrets. No matter how bad of a man he was, I still harbored some hope deep down that perhaps someday they would have a chance to truly communicate their feelings to each other, however broken the conversation may be. There was so much healing that needed to be done, for both of them. I wondered if they would ever get to that point.

              I checked all the locks in my house before heading upstairs to bed, just to make sure there would be no more surprises tonight. I took a long warm shower and the emotion and exhaustion I was holding onto ran over me along with the stream of water. I missed Sam tremendously. I missed my mom and felt heartbroken that of all times in my life I couldn’t talk to her, I hated this is what she was missing. I needed her comfort so much. I even missed Ian in some ways - the simplicity of the way he loved me. It was never scary or complicated. It didn’t challenge me either, but in so many ways it was just
easy
. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I longed for ‘easy’ in this moment. But I knew with Cole that wasn’t even an option for me.

             
Cole.
I couldn’t get him off my mind as I lay awake in bed. I hated not knowing if he was okay. I hated the thought that he left town without me – that’s what his father had suggested. Maybe after a lifetime of people giving up on him, maybe it was finally his turn – maybe he had given up on me.

              I knew sleep wouldn’t come. The nighttime noises outside my bedroom didn’t provide any comfort. The silence in my room felt loud and chaotic and I needed a distraction. Despite the feeling in my stomach that it wasn’t a good idea, I flipped on the TV.