The Falling Kind (20 page)

              “So I just wait until you call me and tell me it’s all over?” I asked curiously.

              “Hopefully,” he replied quietly.

              “Cole, I want something better than ‘hopefully,’ you’re scaring me.”

              “If something happens, don’t freak out,” he explained. “I’ll call you when I can, but I’m just saying if you don’t hear from me right away, don’t panic.”
            
 
“Cole, what are you saying?”

              “I’m just trying to prepare you,” he said, touching my face. “These things don’t always go how they’re supposed to. I’m just saying don’t panic right away if you don’t hear something. If things go bad, I may not be able to contact you right away.”

              “Cole, what’s your part in all this? How can things go bad, what does that mean for you?”

              “I’ll be okay, I promise,” he said reassuringly. “I just don’t want you coming by Harvey’s or something trying to find me if I’m unable to call you tomorrow night. Not until everything clears. Look, if you don’t hear from me right away, or by Thursday morning let’s say, go to Antonio’s. I’ll get communication to him somehow, only if I can’t reach you for some reason. I’ll find some way to keep you in the loop, but just be patient. That can be our backup plan.”

              “It starts and ends with tacos, how ironic,” I said lightly. My stomach was in knots but I was trying to suppress my worry.

              “Nothing’s ending,” he said sincerely. “It’s all just beginning.”

CHAPTER 18

              Cole and I slept under the stars one more night, as if everything was ordinary. But I swear he held me a little tighter and his lips lingered a little bit longer against mine.

              I had the early shift at the clinic, and I hated peeling away from him before the sun was even up. It felt like the world’s cruel way of reminding us that there were limitations to what we got in life – a reminder that time could in no way be controlled by people.

              I kissed his sleepy lips and I could feel his face turn up into a smile. “I’ll wait to hear from you,” I tried saying confidently, though I’m sure he picked up on the slight waiver in my voice. I knew he would let himself out once he got up and around.

              “Syd,” he said softly, grabbing my hand as I began to turn and head out, “you’re the girl I’m going to love forever.”

              My eyes filled with tears and I gently squeezed his hand. “See you soon,” I whispered, unsure of when that was. I left quietly and headed to the clinic.

              I was on edge for most of the day, despite it being a pretty routine work day. It was strange not to have Sam around, I still needed to get used to that. Oh what I would give to have her present through all of this. I felt so alone despite such familiar surroundings and I hated it. Dr. Nikki asked twice if there was something I wanted to talk about, but I declined conversation both times even though I had so much weighing on my mind.

              At the end of my shift, I popped my head into Dr. Nikki’s office and she called me in, asking me to have a seat.

              “I think I know what’s going on,” she said as I sat down in one of the yellow arm chairs sitting in front of her dark wooden desk.

              “I can’t imagine you do,” I said lightheartedly.

              “Fall semester starts this week,” she began, clearly not letting me out of some type of discussion. “You changed your plans. I know Washington changed for you, but what else? Is this some kind of remorse about not heading back to school? A lot of people go through that after they graduate while they’re trying to figure out what they want to do.”

              “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I really haven’t given it much thought recently. But I know deep down I’ve been struggling with what to do. Sam had such a direct plan laid out, and she’s off doing that, you know? I feel like no one tells you what it’s really like after you graduate. Four years of school and I’m in the same place. It’s like I’m not moving. But I’m happy, so that’s something, right? But so much has changed over the last couple months.”

              “Is this about that boy you’ve been running around with?” she asked with a sly grin. “Boys like that have a way of messing with a girl’s plans.”

              “I know,” I smirked. “But my plan was cloudy when we met. If anything I feel like he’s trying to encourage me to go after what I ultimately want. But I just don’t feel ready. I feel like on my own I’m just
not
ready.”

              “So let someone help you,” she said compassionately. “What do you want?”

              “I don’t know, a normal life? I never thought that would be too much to ask for,” I sighed. “I just want a
simple
life. I want to eventually open a rescue where I feel like I can make a difference. I want to watch the sun rise and set. I want land and trees and a garden and animals everywhere.”

              “I completely understand that dream,” Dr. Nikki said sympathetically. “You can have all that you know. You have what it takes.”

              “Yeah, but can I do that here? I can’t fit very many animals in my two-story condo,” I said lightheartedly. “I just don’t know what direction to go. Do I get more education? Do I work for someone else’s rescue first to become more prepared? Do I even have to have an answer to all this right now?” I laughed.

              “The funny thing about life is that it decides so much for you,” she replied warmly. “I followed a guy here when I was twenty-three. We were going to be ski instructors and live out our days on the tops of mountains.”

              “Really?” I asked surprised. She’d never mentioned anything about that before. “So what happened?”

              “I found a dog on the side of the highway with a new litter of puppies, and I vowed I would take care of all seven of them. Meanwhile the guy I was with found a brunette. So I quickly learned when one thing ends, another begins,” she snickered. “I knew then I wanted to go back to school for Veterinary Science and that was my calling. I know it’s cliché, but always go with your gut, and the rest works itself out. I’m a firm believer that’s always the answer.”

              “Thank you,” I replied sincerely. “For everything. You’ve done so much for me. Whatever direction I decide to go, I just want you to know how thankful and appreciative I am of everything.”

              I said goodbye to her and headed back to my condo, replaying that conversation. It seemed like weird timing to have that discussion, but I was grateful we did.

              As I walked into my house, I noticed a small box with a note on my end table. I picked up the card and read it.

             
Just to make sure you don’t forget our promise.

              I opened the box and pulled out a beautiful thin silver necklace chain with a plain silver ring on it. The inscription inside the ring immediately caught my eye.
Just you and me.
It was simple, but yet so perfect to me.

              I took a quick shower and tied my hair up, putting the necklace on as soon as I was dressed. I loved everything about it. I couldn’t wait to thank him later.

              I knew I needed some kind of plan for the rest of the evening. Sitting around waiting for Cole to call would eat my brain. I needed some kind of distraction.

              I talked to Sam on the phone for about a half hour. She was all settled into her new place in Oregon and she sounded so happy. I didn’t want to bog her down with my current frustrations, so I glazed over my recap of all that had happened since she left and let her gush about how amazing her new campus was and how excited she was for all the change she had going on.

              Afterwards I dialed Brandt, and he agreed to go out to a movie with me. I hoped that would shut off my thoughts about Cole and whatever he was up to.

              My big mistake of the night was allowing Brandt to pick the movie. A two and a half hour superhero flick was not what I had in mind. After the movie we hit up a local Mexican restaurant for a late dinner.

              “So what did you think about the flick?” Brandt asked as we waited for our order.

              “It felt… long,” I said honestly with a laugh. “So many jumpsuits.”

              “Oh come on, you used to love those kinds of movies, what happened?” he said animatedly.

              “No, Ian used to love those movies. And I loved Ian, so that’s how that happened,” I chuckled. It was a rarity for me to bring up Ian’s name so casually, but it just spilled out.

              “I can’t believe you just said his name while smiling at the same time,” he replied sincerely. “It’s been a long time.” His expression was warm and friendly. So many times in my sorrow and hurt I forgot that Brandt also lost his best friend that same day. Yet somehow Brandt never blamed me for what happened, despite all of the guilt I carried from it. “You know, I never thought I’d be happy for you to replace Ian. Better yet, I never thought I’d witness it after what you put yourself through, blaming yourself like you did. But I’m proud of you, Syd.” He looked at me with such a genuine expression.

              “I still go through the what-ifs,” I admitted, “but I finally realized the rest of the world didn’t stop spinning just because my small portion of it felt like it did. I feel like I messed up in so many ways. But then time moves on, and anyone outside of that fragment of my life, they didn’t feel anything like we did, right? It seemed like in an instant, the whole world crashed – but then everyone else around us kept moving along. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that for the longest time. First my mom, then Ian. I just couldn’t understand how this big life event took place, and there I was – left screaming into the wind for no one to hear. But then, someone hears you. And they can’t fix it or eradicate that event from existing – but they hear you. And somehow you realize that’s enough to keep moving.”

              Brandt stared at me with a somewhat bewildered expression. “That’s deep for fried taquito conversation,” he teased as our food was set down in front of us. I smirked as he said it, finding it ironic just how many deep conversations I had over tacos the last couple months.

              We ate our food and our conversation lightened, and we laughed and joked like so many times before.

              Around ten, the restaurant finally kicked us out so they could close for the night. As Brandt and I parted ways, I pulled him in for a big hug. “Thank you. For your friendship. Everything,” I said, finally releasing him.

              “Are you dying? Do you have cancer?” he joked, raising a brow at me. “You’re so serious tonight. What’s going on?”

              “Nothing,” I said dismissively. “I’m just a little on edge. I’m fine.”

              “Do you want to talk about it? I mean you just had three hours to bring it up, but I can spare some more time if you need it,” he teased.

              “No, I know you have an early morning tomorrow. I’m fine, I promise,” I lied. The truth was, I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to sleep. I didn’t want one second of silence to think about Cole.

              Brandt and I said goodnight and I climbed back in my car. I wondered where else I could even go by myself at this time of night. All of the restaurants and coffee shops were closed already, and I had no interest in going into one of the loud, chaotic casinos downtown. As I headed towards my condo, a small Irish pub caught my eye. The parking lot had some cars, but it didn’t seem overly busy.
A bar.
Probably the only place to show up to alone on a weeknight when you had nowhere else to go.

              I pulled into the lot, not totally sure what I was doing there. I had no better ideas though, so despite my better judgment, I went inside. I was still on the Mountain Ridge side at least, so it’s not like I was someplace dangerous.

              I opened the large wooden door and a few heads turned, but otherwise no one even noticed me. I sat on a barstool up against the middle of the bar and a woman in her fifties asked what I wanted.

              “A Shirley Temple would be great,” I shrugged, not really in the mood to even drink that.

              “Are you underage or something?” she laughed, looking confused by my drink order.

              “No, I just don’t drink,” I sighed.

              “You realize this is a bar, right?” she replied with a sarcastic tone. “That’s pretty much the opposite of our mission statement.”

              “Drinking has never done me any favors,” I said honestly. “Although of all nights, I probably need one.” My hands were shaking and my entire body felt full of anxiety. All I wanted was a phone call or a text.
Something
to tell me Cole was okay. I hated waiting.

              “This favor’s on me,” she responded, sliding me a glass of clear liquid. I didn’t suspect it was water. Without thinking about it, I quickly slugged it down, ready to gag it all back up again as it burned through my throat. I wasn’t even sure what kind of alcohol it was, but if fire was a clear liquid, I would’ve guessed that. I literally felt like it was burning through my trachea.

              “Too harsh?” she snickered, clearly amused by my painful reaction. “Try this, there’s juice in it. That should help.”

              I slugged down the next drink, thankful for the sweetness of the pineapple juice as it hit my lips. The drink still wasn’t good by any means, but it was far better than what I started with.

              “It’s Sydney, right?” a male voice said from behind me. I turned on my chair to see a familiar guy I couldn’t quite place. “No boyfriend tonight?”

              I studied his face, trying to figure out where I knew him from. It wasn’t coming to me.

              “Ridge City Chad from the bonfire, remember?” he said with a slight laugh, lightening the mood.

              “Right, the only other Ridge City hanging out in West Cove,” I smirked, kind of relieved it was him and not someone else from the bonfire that night. “What a stupid nickname.”

              “What are you drinking tonight?” he questioned, sitting on the barstool next to me.

              “I ordered a Shirley Temple, but she gave me something toxic instead,” I said pointing to the two empty glasses in front of me. The bartender was currently pouring a drink for two guys towards the end of the bar. She finally came back our way and asked what we wanted.

              “You interested in some whiskey?” Chad asked with a raised brow.

              “The girl says she doesn’t drink,” the bartender scoffed.

              “I don’t,” I confirmed, realizing I looked like an idiot for stating that in a bar.