Authors: Gilbert Morris
“Well, you look great.”
The dress was more expensive than she had hoped, but she loved it. It had a bright floral print with a black ribbon sash and trimmings. She was wearing high-heeled court shoes with decorative bows, and she had bought a bottle of designer perfume by the famous Elsa Schiaparelli. Angel had urged her into it, for the perfume was called “Shocking.” Angel had
winked at her, saying, “Don’t use too much of it. They say it drives men wild, and they become beasts!”
Taking this dare, Joy had bought a bottle and then had felt guilty over paying such an exorbitant price.
Karl held her closer and put his cheek against hers. “What is that perfume? It’s great.”
“It’s called ‘Shocking.’ Do you really like it?”
“Love it.” He kissed her cheek, then twirled her around. “We ought to go on the stage as dancers. We could call ourselves the ‘New Castles’!”
The Castles had been a famous dancing duo of earlier years but were still well known. Karl’s remark was not particularly witty, yet she found herself laughing at it. Karl laughed with her and said, “Now you’re getting with the party.”
The evening sped by, and Karl encouraged Joy to help finish the champagne. Joy had never been drunk before and, as a matter of fact, had never tasted champagne. Karl had insisted it was not really liquor, and anyone could drink all they wanted without becoming intoxicated. She had started by sipping at it, but then, without realizing it, had been taking longer swallows. At first it had just made her feel rather silly, but as they finally left the ballroom, she found that things were fuzzy. She held on to Karl’s arm, for her steps were unsteady.
When they got outside she stumbled on the way to the car, and Karl put his arm around her. “Hey—let me give you a hand here.”
Joy found the world whirling about, and she slumped into the car and put her head back. When Karl started the engine, she murmured, “I shouldn’t have . . . drunk all that . . . champagne.”
“You’ll be all right, sweetheart. Come on, we’ll go home now.”
Joy remembered nothing of the trip back to the circus. When she closed her eyes the whole car seemed to be revolving in huge circles.
Finally she heard the engine shut off and knew they were
back. She could hardly raise her head. Then the door opened, and Karl was half lifting her out. She leaned against him and staggered through the darkness. Her mind was not clear, but suddenly she opened her eyes and realized that he was leading her not to her own trailer but to his. His arms were tight around her, and he opened the door with his free hand. “Come on, sweetheart,” he said.
“I can’t go in your trailer.”
“Sure you can,” Karl said. “It’ll be the perfect ending to a great evening!” He put his arms around her and kissed her. His caresses were demanding, his hands moving on her body.
In a flash Oz’s warning came back to Joy, and she put both hands on Karl’s chest and shoved backward. She almost fell to the ground, but when he moved to catch her, she cried out, “Leave me alone, Karl! You shouldn’t have done this!”
Ignoring his protests and urgings, she turned and stumbled through the darkness toward the trailer she shared with Ella. When she reached it, she was so dizzy she could hardly stand.
The door opened, and Ella appeared wearing a robe. “Come on in, babe. It looks like you had too much to drink.”
Joy managed to get inside the trailer and then collapsed on the bed, which Ella had already made up for her. She opened her eyes and had to struggle to focus. Ella was looking at her in a strange way, and Joy began to cry. She put her head forward and felt the cushion move as Ella settled beside her. “He finally got to you, did he?”
“Who?”
“You’ve been out with Karl, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but I just wanted to—”
“I know what you wanted,” Ella said, and then her voice turned harsh. “And I know what
he
wanted too. Did he have his way with you?”
“He tried to get me to go to his trailer. He got me drunk, Ella.”
“That’s Karl, all right.” Bitterness tinged her voice, born of a lifetime of unhappy experiences with men. “I’m glad
you got off so light. Come on now. Get undressed and go to bed. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
Joy managed, with Ella’s help, to get into bed. She lay down and let the tears flow. The light went out and silence filled the trailer. She wanted to cry out but did not know how or to whom she could cry. “I’m such a fool!” she whispered. “How could I be so stupid?”
****
The next day was hard for Joy. She learned very quickly what a small world the circus family was. The first three people she encountered asked her, “Did you have a good time with Karl?” She gave them noncommittal answers but was miserable and embarrassed. Karl himself seemed unchanged. When their paths crossed that morning, he said, “Well, I guess we both found out you can’t handle liquor.”
Joy demanded, “Why did you do that, Karl?”
“Do what?” Karl said, his face showing surprise. “We just went out and danced and had some drinks. How was I to know you’d act like that? Some people just can’t handle liquor, and I guess you’re one of them.”
“You tried to get me into your trailer.”
Karl shook his head. “I guess I did, but didn’t you know I’d try that?”
“I didn’t think you would.”
“I guess that’s just the way I am with women. I can see you’re different. Sorry, Joy, it won’t happen again.”
Joy accepted his apology, but was still embarrassed. Later on she found an opportunity to speak to Chase. “I’m sorry I was so rough with you, Chase. I’ve been . . . I’ve been having a hard time lately.”
“Sure, it’s okay.” Chase smiled gently and put his hand on her arm. Joy was certain he knew all about what had happened the night before. She wanted to explain, to tell him she hadn’t meant for it to be like that, but she could not put
it into words. She looked up at him and touched the lapels of his coat.
Indeed Chase did know more than she thought. He had stayed up waiting for her to come home and had been standing in the darkness when Karl had tried to get her into his trailer. Chase had been about to interrupt when she had turned and stumbled home.
Now he saw that she was flushing, and her lips were taut in an uncertain, crooked smile. He had become very fond of her, and whatever mistake she had made with Karl, there was still an innocent sweetness about her. She loved life as much as any young woman he had ever seen, and he knew she was finding her way in a world that could be cruel. He could see a depth of maturity in her beyond her years, but also a childlike simplicity, and he remembered his promise to Sister Hannah to watch out for her. “Why don’t we go to the zoo today after the matinee?”
Relief rushed through her, and she said, “That would be wonderful. I’ve never been to a big zoo.”
“Good. I’ll see if I can borrow Dan’s car. We’ll get a bite to eat if Annie will let you off from cooking tonight.”
****
Stella sat at the small desk inside her trailer, her eyes intent on the books in front of her. From time to time she wrote down some figures and added up columns. The silence was broken by a knock at her door. “Who is it?” she snapped, annoyed at the interruption.
“I need to see whoever’s in charge.”
Stella shook her head in disgust. “Never a moment’s peace around here. I’ll never get these books straight.” She threw the pen down, strode to the door, and flung it open. A tall young man stood before her. “What do you want?” she demanded.
“My name is Travis Winslow. I’m looking for my sister.”
“Winslow? There’s nobody here by that name.”
She studied the cobalt blue eyes on this fine-looking, but
skinny, young man. She wondered about the pallor in his face and his shoddy clothes for an instant, then decided she didn’t have time for him and was about to close the door when he interrupted her.
“Is there a man called Chase Hardin here?”
Stella opened the door fully then and said, “Yes. Do you know Chase?”
“Never met him, but I understand that my sister is with him.”
“What does your sister look like?”
“She’s a blonde with dark blue eyes, about this tall.” He motioned with his hand.
Stella’s eyes narrowed. “I think she may be here, but she doesn’t call herself Winslow. Come along.”
She stepped outside, locked the trailer door, and said, “Follow me.” She threw a glance at the young man, who she reckoned was no more than twenty, and said, “Where are you from?”
A hesitancy punctuated Winslow’s reply. “I’ve . . . uh . . . been in Mexico for the past year.”
****
Joy was in the backyard, that part of the circus where the performers sat outdoors when the weather was nice. April was kind, the sun shining down brightly. They had come to the small town of Forest City, Arkansas, two days earlier, and the crowds had been good. Joy was sitting beside her big friend Doak Williams. Hearing her name called, she glanced up, and then her eyes flew open. She leaped to her feet and ran over to grab Travis, hugging him as hard as she could. “Where’d you come from? I didn’t expect you!”
Travis held Joy tightly. “It’s good to see you, sis. I got out a month early for good behavior.”
Stella’s ears caught this. “You been in prison?” she said.
Travis turned and nodded. “Yes. I was working down in Mexico and got caught in the middle of a fight.”
Stella demanded of Joy, “So your name is really Winslow, not Smith?”
“That’s right.”
“Are you running from the law too?”
“No, Mrs. House,” Joy said. She clung to Travis, fearful of Stella’s suspicions. She didn’t want to try to explain that she was indeed hiding from the law, but not for any wrongdoing of her own. “We had some family problems, and we ran away. But I’m eighteen years old now, and they can’t make me go back.”
“I don’t need any trouble from families or from the law,” Stella snapped.
“It’s all right, Mrs. House,” Travis assured her. “There won’t be any trouble.”
As Stella turned and left abruptly, Joy laughed up into Travis’s face. “It’s so good to see you. It’s been such a long time.”
“A long time for me too. You’re looking great, sis.”
“Come on. You’re nothing but skin and bones. I’ll fix you a good meal.”
On their way to the cook tent, Joy saw Chase. He had been sitting with Dan and Oz watching all this, and now she said to her brother, “Come on, I want you to meet Chase.”
As they approached the table where the men sat, Chase rose to his feet. “I’ll bet your name is Travis.” He smiled and put out his hand.
“Yes, it is. I’ve got to thank you for all the help you’ve been to my sister.”
“No trouble at all. It’s good to meet you.”
Joy introduced Travis to Oz and Dan, then said, “Come on, I’ve got to feed you.”
They entered the cook tent, and Joy beamed as she introduced him to Annie.
Annie studied his lean face and said, “You look like you need a decent meal. You two go sit down. I’ll fix you somethin’. What’ll it be?”
“Anything you’ve got,” Travis said. “If it’ll stand still, I’ll eat it.”
Joy led him out to a table. She filled two cups with coffee and watched as he savored the strong-smelling brew. “Did you have a hard time finding me?”
“Well, I had to hitchhike all the way up from Mexico but no trouble.” He shook his head. “I can’t get over how you’ve grown up since I left. You seemed like such a little girl then, and now you’re a woman.”
“A lot can change in a year, Travis. Do you remember back when we lived in North Dakota, and we just couldn’t wait to get back to Virginia?”
Travis nodded.
“Well, I’m having so much fun with the circus,” Joy went on, “that I don’t even think about going back to Virginia anymore.”
“I know what you mean, Joy. My focus has changed since then too.”
They sat quietly for just a moment, and then Joy said, “You look so thin, Travis.”
“Well, the pickin’s have been pretty slim.”
“Was it awful? I know it must have been.” Joy reached over and took one of his hands in both of hers. “I’ve been so sad, and I’ve missed you so much.”
“I want to tell you something,” he said as a joy lit up his eyes. “When they sent me to prison I just about went crazy. I couldn’t take it. I even thought of killing myself once, but something happened. A missionary named Jerry Golden came to preach. He tried to talk to me about being saved, and I cussed him out. But he never gave up.” He smiled then and shook his head. “That man was sure persistent. He kept coming back, and he never showed anything but love for me. And finally, sis, well . . . I got saved!”
Annie appeared at that moment with a plateful of food, and when she left, Travis went on, “I thought I’d been a Christian all my life, but I made a mistake somewhere. And
in that jail when Brother Jerry was praying with me, I began to weep. I realized I’d never let Jesus into my life, so I just called out like Brother Jerry asked me to do, and something wonderful happened to me. From that moment on I’ve been filled with the joy of the Lord.”
“Oh, Travis, I’m so glad for you!”
“Well, you may not be glad about the rest.”
“The rest? What’s the rest?”
“God’s calling me into the ministry. I’m going be a preacher. Isn’t that something? I don’t know how in the world I’ll do it, but I’m going to.”
Joy was rocked by Travis’s declaration, but as she looked into his face, she felt nothing but love and gratitude. “If that’s what you think God wants you to do, then you’ll have to do it.”
“Well, I want to go to Bible school first, but I’ll have to work until I can save enough money.”
“I’m sure Colonel House would give you a job.”
Travis laughed. “My jaw about fell to the ground when I read in your letters what you’ve been doing—getting into a cage with a tiger. I don’t think I could do that, sis.”
“No, but you can do everything else. You could always make an engine run when nobody else could, and these trucks are always breaking down. There’s plenty of work to do.” She ran around the table and flung her arms about him, hugging him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re back, Travis. We’re a family again!”