The Fire In My Eyes (46 page)

“Andreas did the paperwork for us to keep the triple,” Max said. “We figured we'd keep a good thing going. You don't have any problem with that, right?”

I scratched my head and made a show of thinking about it. “Well, after that human sacrifice incident, I don't know. Maybe I'll move in with Andreas.”

We all laughed, then Drew stuck his hand out at me. I shook it, then shook Max's hand. “Sorry man, we've got to run. Max is giving me a ride to the airport. Take care, Kev, have a good holiday.” Drew grinned and turned to leave.

“I'll catch up with you at the car,” Max called to him, tossing his keys through the air. Drew snagged them out of the air and waved. “Have to ask you something before you leave,” Max said before I could ask him what was going on. “Did you talk to Nikki last night?”

My mouth went dry. I had forgotten about her. “Not after she left. Why? Did she ask about me or something?”

“The exact opposite,” he said. He looked from side to side, then pulled out a cigarette. “Listen, Kev. I know you’re together, but that girl has issues. Serious issues.”

“What do you mean?”

“Saw her leaving earlier this morning, while you were dead to the world,” he said. “She was leaving with this incredibly hot older woman with long black hair. I mean, off the scale hot. Didn't look anything like Nikki, so I don't think it was her mom. I shouted goodbye to Nikki. No response. It was seriously weird, Kev, like she was pretending to not even know me. She didn't even look in my direction. The older lady, she waves, but I've never seen her before in my life. Your girlfriend? Nothing. That's fucked up, Kev.” Max shrugged and turned to go. “Sorry. Didn't mean to give you some weird shit to think about right before you left.”

“Don't worry about it, Max,” I said. “I've had enough weird shit to think about this year, one more little thing isn't going to make a real difference.”

“I hear that,” he said. “Take it easy, Kev. Don't do anything too ridiculous over the break. But if you do, take pictures.”

I laughed, then abruptly cut off as he opened the door. Absynthe stood in the doorway with a wide smile across her face, eyes glowing green. Max didn't even pause, just walked around her and down the stairwell. Absynthe stepped into the dorm room and closed the door behind her.

“I like your friend,” she said.

I swallowed hard. “I bet.”

“I imagine you're wondering what happened after you passed out last night,” she said. Her voice echoed strangely in the nearly empty room. “We finished putting you back together about forty minutes ago. Your injuries were more severe than we had thought. I had to plant some memories in your roommates, so they wouldn't think anything was strange. I also packed most of your things up. It was the least I could do.”

“What happened to the rogue?” I asked.

She sighed, then muttered something in a language I didn't recognize. “You were with her, weren't you? She covered her tracks well. We were keeping an eye on the situation. When she used her power, we moved to protect you. What were you doing?”

I nodded and felt icy sweat rolling down my side again, just as it had last night when Shade confronted me. At least Absynthe might give me the benefit of the doubt. “She was trying to recruit me. When I turned her down, she turned on me.”

Absynthe nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. If she thought I was lying, she'd probably start to take me apart, right here and now. “I see. That one rogue agent injured you, twisted four of our agents, and did something to Shade. Something severe.”

“I don't know exactly what she did,” I said. “After the initial hit, whatever she did to my knee, I wasn't paying too much attention to her, just trying to get my power back under control. Something happened to Shade? What happened?”

She shook her head. “A vicious variant on a mindtwist. A feedback loop for his power.” I wanted to smile, but I refrained. “The other agents were twisted as well, but they've already begun to recover. They won't remember a thing from the evening, unfortunately. The rogue saw to that.”

“And what's the verdict?” I asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “Verdict?”

I held my hands out and rattled imaginary handcuffs. “Consorting with the enemy?”

She snorted. “Hardly. You turned her down, didn't you? Alistair won't come down on you for that, especially after how you've affected our relations with the Kaze. The old man's a little more open to diplomacy recently. No, he won't hold it against you. Consider yourself reprimanded and leave it at that.”

I let out a sigh of relief that was not fake at all. “Good. So I guess I'm going home for the holidays, then. Thanks, Absynthe.”

“Don't thank me yet,” she said. Her expression softened, then she looked down.

I took a deep breath and guessed. “Nikki?”

“I drove her to the airport. She was asking about you.”

“What did you tell her?”

Her eyes didn't meet mine. “The truth.”

I rubbed at my forehead. She was going to kill me. She was really going to kill me. “Thanks. I think.”

Absynthe smiled for a brief moment, then looked up, her expression grim. “Kevin. With four of our agents out of commission for the immediate future, and Shade out indefinitely, we're not going to have the personnel available to keep an eye on you while you're away from campus. Do you want to stay here? I realize it's a last moment change of plans, but we can make the necessary arrangements.”

I considered the idea for a moment, but I had no desire to stick around. I needed to get away from this place and think. Even with Shade out of the picture, I no longer felt safe here. Not after what he had said. “Thanks, but no. I need to go home once in a while.”

She nodded. “I thought you might say that. Your home is within what we consider safe territory, but the Bureau considers the area to be theirs as well. Don't use your power. At all. They probably already know where you live. Don't give them an excuse to visit. We'll have agents patrol when we can, but no one will be on station. Understand?”

“I understand.” She nodded and turned to leave. “Absynthe? Thank you.” She smiled over her shoulder at me as she walked out. Once she was out of sight, I threw everything else into a suitcase and emptied my desk drawers out. There was one last thing I needed to do before I left, and knowing Dad, he'd be back early. I had no time to waste.

I ran down the hall to the black door and hammered on it. “Andreas? You still here?”

The door opened almost immediately. Andreas peered out at me. “Kevin? What are you still doing here? Regular students are supposed to be moved out by noon today.”

“I'm working on it, believe me. I need to talk to you for a minute before I go. Can I come in?” I bounced from foot to foot.

He stepped back and let me in. “Certainly. What is it?”

I reached into a pocket and pulled out my flash drive. “Can you copy the files off this and keep a safe copy for me?”

“What is it?” he asked.

“Very important information. Research. I need an off-site backup, and I think you're the only one who might understand what's on it.” I thrust the drive toward him. “Please, Andreas. Copy it and take a look.”

He took the flash drive and turned away, walking toward the curtain in the back of his room. I followed him behind the curtain. He plugged the drive into an extension cable that snaked under the tabletop computer display. The display flickered, then showed a dialog that acknowledged the new device. The copy took only a couple of minutes, then he unplugged the drive and handed it back to me. “Is that all?” he asked.

I slipped the drive back into my pocket. This was a dangerous move. I knew what the Establishment had tried to do with the researcher at RPI. If similar research cropped up here, it would trace right back to me. It could also cost Andreas his life. “Yes and no. If you look into it, don't tell anyone. Anyone at all. It's dangerous. Believe me on that.”

“You are acting very strange, Kevin,” he said. “I will humor you, though. If it is as interesting as you seem to think it is, perhaps we will have something to talk about when you return next trimester.”

“Interesting doesn't even begin to describe it. I have to run, my dad will be back any minute now. I'll see you in January, have a good holiday!” I waved at Andreas and ducked around the partition before he could respond. My dad was already at my door as I entered the hallway, even earlier than I thought. The food he was carrying smelled great.

“Are you ready now?” he asked as I walked up to him.

“Yes. Let's get out of here,” I said.

By the third day back home, I wished that I had taken Absynthe up on her offer. Being home sucked. I watched every movie in my small collection, watched television for half the day, and tried to stay away from my old gaming computer. The temptation was always there. I pushed it aside and forced myself to use the laptop. I wanted to read up on some of the Establishment data, but the application refused to work without a connection to the campus network. I managed to pull a few of the documents out of the laptop's browser cache, but they weren't enough to keep me busy for more than a day.

My social life was non-existent. Ripley's classes ended just before Thanksgiving, but most other schools didn't get out until the middle of December. Most of my old friends weren't even home yet, and those few who had stayed in the area were all busy with finals. A few phone calls resulted in promises to meet up once they were done. Until then, I was bored.

The weeks passed slowly, but things did start to pick up the week before Christmas. Old friends returned home. We hung out. Some of my friends looked older. Some hadn't changed a bit. All of them were no longer a part of my life. After the second party turned awkward, I stopped going out. I was the one who had changed.

Two days before Christmas, my dad knocked on my door. I put down the book I had been reading and walked to my door. “You've got a visitor,” he said, then stepped aside. I hadn't been expecting anyone, least of all a smiling ghost from my past.

“Steph,” I said. I didn't know what else to say.

“Can I come in?” she asked. My dad had already vanished. Steph had spent lots of time in my room during our high school days. He knew her, he trusted her, and he trusted me with her. He didn't know what had happened between us. I had never told him, and apparently, he had never guessed.

I stepped back and let her in. She closed the door, then turned around and gave me a hug. “It's been a while. Did you get my letter?”

I returned the hug, a little stiffly. “I did. Sorry I didn't reply.”

“It's fine. I just wanted to see if you were all right.” She smiled, then walked over to my bed and sat down. “You don't seem like you've changed much at all.”

“You look a little different,” I said. Her hair was far shorter than it had been the last time I saw her, hanging loose just below her ears. She also looked like she was putting on some weight, probably the infamous freshman fifteen. She didn't look bad, just different. Just not like the Steph of my memories.

She reached up and fluffed her hair. “I know, I wanted to keep the long hair, but it's so hot out there in California. After I got it cut, I felt so much lighter. It still looks good, doesn't it?”

“Not as good as it used to,” I said.

Her laugh was hauntingly familiar. It reminded me of Nikki. “You've always been honest with me. Thanks. I'm going to grow it back out a little. Shoulder length, you think?”

“That would look good,” I said. “Steph, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I wanted to check in on you.”

I shook my head. “Yes, but why did you come here? Why didn't you just call?”

She tilted her head to the side. She wasn't smiling anymore. “Because I didn't think you would have picked up the phone if you saw my number come up.”

“My dad would have.”

“And you would have made up an excuse to get off the phone as quickly as you could.”

I shrugged. “So you came here instead to make sure you could actually talk to me?”

“What's wrong, Kev?” She leaned forward and planted her hands on her knees. “We were best friends for years and years, and then you cut me off. I realize I hurt you, and I'm sorry, but it wouldn't have worked. But I wanted to stay friends. I still want to. At least I think I want to. What about you?”

“People change,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

I threw my arms out wide. “Haven't you talked with anyone else? All our old friends? Nick's married, he didn't even tell anyone! Tony dropped out of college, John and Will went and enlisted and they're shipping out next month. Lyssa spent four months backpacking across Europe. Lyssa! Can you imagine that?”

Steph covered her mouth and giggled. “Not at all.”

I had to laugh as well. “Not after being prom queen, right? She's nothing like what she used to be. Neither am I. Neither are you.”

“I'm not?” she asked.

“No, you're not. You look different. Hell, for a girl who was so intent on watching her weight back in high school, you look like you've been hitting the donuts pretty hard.” She blinked. “Either that or the booze. Is that a beer gut? I thought it was only guys who were supposed to get that.”

“It's not a beer gut,” she said. All the amusement in her voice vanished. “I don't drink.”

“You're missing out,” I said.

“No, I'm not. Not at all.” She rubbed her stomach. “It's not that I don't like drinking on occasion, Kev. It's that I can't. Doctor's orders.”

“Doctor's orders? What, do you have a family history of liver trouble or something?” I grinned at her. She didn't even crack a smile. “What? It's just a joke.”

She stopped rubbing her stomach and simply stared. “Kevin, I don't know if you're being this dense on purpose or not.”

I started to say something, then stopped. She wasn’t rubbing her stomach, she was rubbing a little lower. She was putting on weight. She couldn't drink.

I found that my jaw was hanging open. I closed it. “Steph. What?”

“About five months along,” she said.

“Pregnant.”

“That's right.” She smiled.

I had thought about having sex with Stephanie before. Rather often, as I got older. I had never said so, of course. She had never mentioned it during high school, and she didn’t hide much from me. Maybe that was one of the things she had. Who had been her first? Why couldn't it have been me? The sense of jealousy and outrage I felt was irrational. I had been the one to stop talking with her. If I hadn't, I probably would have found out about this earlier. Maybe it would have been me.