The Fire In My Eyes (47 page)

“Kev?” Her voice broke me out of my reverie. “Are you all right?”

“You never told me,” I said.

“I didn't know when I wrote that letter,” she said. “You never did respond, I had no way to tell you. And, really, I didn't know how you'd take it. You look about as floored as Joel did when I told him.” She giggled again.

“Out,” I said.

“What?”

“Out. Get out.” I pointed at the door. My hand was shaking.

“I thought-”

“You thought wrong,” I said. I couldn't look her in the eye anymore. Jealousy and anger swirled together inside me. It took conscious effort to keep from tapping into my power. To do what with it? There wasn't anything I could do. “I told you. People change. I don't care. I don't know why you wanted to come here and hurt me like this.”

She stood up and walked over to me. “I didn't mean to hurt you, Kev. You were my friend. I thought you'd be happy. You knew I wanted to have kids.”

“I thought you'd at least be smart enough to finish school first. Getting knocked up before getting your degree and getting your own shit together? Didn't you have a goal in life? Did you think about that? Did you think about how you're fucking up three lives with this?”

Her eyes widened and she tried to slap me, but I caught her hand before she could land it. My jaw had received enough abuse recently. She yanked her hand free and took a step toward the door. “I was wrong. You have changed. You're an asshole.”

“Funny how often I hear that lately,” I said. “But you decided to come here and rub this in anyways. What does that make you?”

She opened my door and looked at me just before she walked out. Her eyes were watery. “Guilty of caring too much.”

The door slammed shut behind her, and after a moment, I heard a murmur of conversation from the front of the house, then the front door opened and closed. I wondered what she had told my dad. I wished she had called to break that sort of news. At least that way, I could have just hung up on her, just as she thought I would.

I wanted to talk to someone, but I couldn’t talk to any of my old friends. I had Nikki’s number, but it wasn't likely that she'd listen to me. We’d just end up fighting. Max and Drew wouldn't get it at all. Lisa would have some sort of sympathy for the situation, but I didn't have her number. Jess would only laugh at me. I did have one phone number floating in my head, though. Star. The area code was from New York City. That didn't mean she was there, just that she had a phone from there. She could be anywhere. I could still try it.

I got up off my bed and reached for my phone, then paused. If the Establishment suspected me, they could tap the phone. They might not even have to do that, they'd just need to pull the records. They might already be watching them. I had no reason to call a number leading to New York City. From what Absynthe had told me, they had bought my story, but there was no reason to make them suspicious.

I searched my memory of the neighborhood, trying to remember where the nearest pay phone was, hoping that it was still functional. The gas station a couple of blocks away probably had one. I looked through my wallet's change pocket and pulled out a dollar's worth of quarters, then dug into one of my suitcases. There was a roll of quarters in there for laundry money. I had only used half of it. It was a waste of money, but it was the only way I could be reasonably assured of privacy.

Pocket jingling, I left my room and headed for the front door. My dad looked up as I passed the living room. His expression was not friendly. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Taking a walk,” I said.

His eyes narrowed, then he returned his attention to the television. He had probably spoken to Steph before she left. He knew I had made her cry, and he was old fashioned enough that making a girl cry was an unforgivable sin. Living here with him was always awkward. I needed to leave before it got any worse. Without another word to him, I fled.

The pay phone still worked. The rate was hideous, but I had enough for a few minutes. I fed in enough quarters to start the call, dialed Star's number, and hoped that she was there. It rang three times before someone picked up. “This is Sarah, who's this?”

“Sarah?” I asked. “Sorry, I think I have the wrong-”

“No no no! Kevin!” It was her voice. “You remembered!”

“It would be hard to forget,” I said. “How are you?”

“I'm fine. How are you? You survived! Did you get in trouble?” Her voice was excited and she sounded breathless, like she had rushed to the phone.

“I'm not in trouble,” I said. “I just blamed everything on you.”

She gasped. “How dare you!”

“I'm sorry!”

“I'm just kidding. As long as you stay out of trouble, it's all good. It's not like they can punish me unless they catch me.” She laughed and I smiled. Her laugh was like no one else's, even over a terrible phone connection. “So what's going on? Where are you? Caller ID doesn't recognize this number. It's not a New York area code, that's for sure.”

“I'm at a pay phone,” I explained. “While I'm not in trouble, I don't want to give them any reason to dig deeper into what happened that night.”

“You're paranoid! Really, seriously, paranoid!” She laughed again. “That's terrific. You learn so fast. I didn't think that pay phones still existed these days. Now, Kevin, tell me what happened with that Shade guy. Did you kill him?”

“No.” I took a deep breath. “That power you talked about?”

“Second tier?”

I fed a quarter into the phone. “I think I used it. I dodged everything. He couldn't touch me. Then I twisted him with that same power. I made his abilities feed back on themselves. Anything he does to try to get out of it will only make it worse. I think. I passed out right afterwards. He hurt me pretty badly.”

“Shit, Kevin. Shit! Are you all right? They healed you, right?”

I looked at my right wrist. It hadn't been sore in a week. “They healed me. I was sore for a while, but I'm better now. Not quite in top condition. I haven't been able to practice since I came home. They don't want me to attract attention.”

“Or they want you to be rusty when you come back,” she suggested. “Paranoia, Kevin!”

“I hadn't thought of that,” I said. “Hey, Star.”

“Hey, Kevin?”

“I want to ask you something.”

“Oh?” I could hear her smiling. “I'm wearing a towel. Just a towel.”

I pushed that mental image aside and fed another quarter to the phone. “That's not the question I was going to ask.”

“You're no fun at all. What's up?”

“I just ran into my old crush from high school. She was my best friend and I fell for her. Hard. I asked her out when we were going to community college here together.”

“What did she say?”

“She turned me down. I didn't talk to her again. Stopped going to school. Didn't answer her e-mails or messages. Left for Ripley after that.”

“You ran away because she hurt you.”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“And you just ran into her? Did you find out that she wants you back now? She doesn't want to live with that sort of regret?” she asked.

“Not even close.”

“What happened, then?”

I closed my eyes before I responded. “She's pregnant.”

“Oh. That's got to be a kick to the balls,” she said. “People change a lot, even in just a year, don't they? You don't know them anymore. I've never had anything quite like that happen to me, but you know, I can see why it'd hurt. I'm sorry, Kevin. I wish I could be there for you.”

“It's like I'm not even home anymore,” I said. “This is the place where I grew up. There's a lot of memories here. But it all seems so long ago. I think I'm the one who changed while everything else stayed the same. Does that sound right?”

“It sounds right to me,” she said. “Hey, Kevin?”

The phone begged for another quarter. I obliged. “Hey, Star? Or is it Sarah?”

She giggled. “Whichever you like. I was wondering if you'd like to visit. I think you need to get away from that place. A vacation from your vacation.”

“I think I do too, but I can't leave until after Christmas,” I said. “That's going to be an awkward day. Just my dad and I, and he's pissed at me. Maybe my mom for a few minutes, if she's in the area. Where are you? New York City?”

“That's right,” she said. “I've got a nice little apartment here.”

“Isn't it dangerous to be in the city?” I asked. It was Establishment territory.

“There are so many people like us here, it's next to impossible to track any single person down unless you're willing to advertise that search to the city at large. It's probably the safest place in the world for us. Aside from the past few months, at least.” She paused before continuing. “Won't you come see me, Kevin? Even if it's just for a day or two?”

I thought about it. “Well, if I leave on the day after Christmas, I could spend about a week there, then go directly back to school the day after New Year's.”

She whistled into the phone, causing a burst of static. I winced. “You really do want to get away, don't you?”

“I'm not asking for too much, am I?”

“Kevin, are you seriously asking me if I'm going to mind having you in my little apartment for a week? Seriously?”

The phone beeped again. I had plenty of quarters left, so I added another. “I'm serious.”

“So am I,” she said. “You're welcome to come here right now, right this minute. Are you sure you want to stay there another three days? I promise you, I'll have a Christmas present for you. A very nice present that you'll really enjoy unwrapping.”

“I'm sure you'd look wonderful wearing nothing but a ribbon.”

“You're a mind reader. Are you psychic or something?” She laughed, then her tone turned a little softer. “You're not going to come here for Christmas, are you?”

“No, sorry. I have to do the family thing.”

She sighed. “I wish I had a family to be with over the holidays. It's lonely by yourself. Even if I do have a couple of friends here, it's still lonely.”

“What happened with your family?” I asked.

“I'll tell you the story here, in person,” she said. “If you come here. Are you going to?”

I added another item to the list of things I’d never tell Nikki about, if she ever spoke to me again, which seemed less and less likely with every passing day. “Yes. Day after Christmas. I'll take the train to the city, then what?”

She gave me directions over the phone and had me repeat them until she was satisfied that I'd remember them. I could find out details online if I wanted to. I fed another quarter to the machine and repeated the directions one last time. “Good,” she said. “So, when should I expect you?”

“I'll try for a late morning train, so I should be there some time in the early afternoon, at the latest,” I said. “Who knows if it'll be on time or not?”

“You'll be fine,” she said. “So I'll be on the lookout for you after noon.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I'm really looking forward to this,” she said. The tone of her voice was eerily similar to how she had said it in Washington.

“Don't get too excited,” I said. “It's just me.”

“You, Kevin, are never just anything,” she told me. “I'll see you then.”

The phone went dead and I stared at it. She hadn't even given me a chance to say goodbye. I hung up and listened to the phone digest the quarters I had given it. No change was forthcoming. I sighed and turned around. I didn't want to go back home. I just wanted it to be over.

I learned a valuable lesson that Christmas: I should accept offers such as the ones that Absynthe and Star had offered me. The holiday was cold. Dad barely said a word to me. Mom never showed up. I spent most of the day in my room, only leaving to greet the couple of relatives who stopped by. I packed everything that evening and couldn't wait to leave.

Dad didn't protest. No surprise there. I called a taxi and left first thing in the morning for the station. I had enough to pay for the train tickets and taxi fare, but I wanted to save a little bit, maybe enough to buy a present. It would only be polite, if I was going to spend the next week crashing on her couch.

The train arrived on time, much to my surprise, and I took the subway to make it most of the way. The closest stop was two blocks away from the address she had given me. It didn't sound very far to me, but lugging two heavy suitcases around made it a painful journey.

Her apartment was around the next corner, and the neighborhood wasn't particularly nice. It didn't look as terrible as the neighborhood around the bar in Washington, but there weren't a whole lot of people out. The few who were out, were walking rapidly. When I turned the corner and saw her building, I let out a sigh of relief. That relief was abruptly dashed when I noticed that there were two hulking brutes sitting and smoking on the steps. Both of them wore wifebeaters. It had been below freezing when I left home. It was below freezing now. I felt distinctly out of my depth.

When I walked to the base of the steps leading up to the front door of the building, neither of them moved, except for their eyes, narrowed and tracking. I cleared my throat. “I'm here to visit a friend?”

They exchanged glances, then resumed squinting at me. The one on the right flicked his cigarette at me, right over my shoulder. “I don't think you've got no friends here, kid.”

“Her name's Sarah,” I said. They both grunted and one leaned forward. “She's about this tall, red hair, really cute? Supposed to live here?”

“Kid,” the one on the left said, “You don't got no friends here. Beat it, or get beat.”

“I might have the wrong address, but do you know who I'm talking about?” I didn't want to push too hard, but I refused to believe that I had forgotten her address already.

Both of them stood up. I looked up and up and up. If there hadn't been a building behind them, they would have blotted out the sun. Both of them cracked their knuckles. “I don't think you got what we're saying,” one said. “You don't have no friends here. Miss Sarah ain't got no friends like you.”

“Stop fucking with him!” Her voice rang out from a second floor window. “I told you I was expecting someone! You two are such assholes! Kevin, I'll be right down!”