The Fragile Fall (39 page)

“You have enough to live on for a very, very long time. In fact, I think you have enough for your kids to live on as well.”

I sat back in my chair, shocked.

“Now, I still think you should work part-time while you further your education, but it won’t be a struggle. You’ll be able to pay for college without going into debt and enough for a long time after.”

“That’s good news. I mean, I want to go to school no matter what, but it’s nice not to worry about debt and all that.”

She smiled, relief relaxing her features. “Yeah, it’s a good thing. I’m glad you’re going to keep going to school.”

“How much money are we talking about?”

“Almost two million.”

My eyes widened and my heart stopped.“Aunt Liv, take some of the money and pay off your house and your car.”

“Will, I can’t do that. That’s your money and it’s for you to take care of yourself.”

I sat forward and covered her hand with my own. “You took me in when I had no one else. You took care of me, even when it was a challenge. When I was struggling, you got me the help I needed and never complained. You’ve been amazing and you’ve worked so hard to make sure my life was good after everything that happened. I want to do something for you to show you how much you mean to me.”

She hopped up from the table and engulfed me in her arms. “You are such an amazing man, Will. I’m so lucky to be your aunt.” Her voice was thick with tears.

“
I’m
lucky that you’re my aunt.”

Aunt Liv paid off her house and her car, thanking me repeatedly, and I bought myself a used Toyota, then pretended the money wasn’t there. It was there for school and emergencies, but other than that, it didn’t matter. The only things that mattered to me were the people I loved and I had all of them.

Life was good.

Ryanne

Two months later

“Court, it’s not drinking time, it’s work time.”

I was struggling with boxes while Courtney was sitting on the couch with a freshly unpacked wine glass and an entire bottle of red wine on the coffee table in front of her.

“It’s
always
time for drinking. There’s Messed Up Monday, Black Out Tuesday, Wines-day Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked Up Friday and Sloshed Sunday.”

I laughed. “What about Saturday?”

“Like anyone needs an excuse to drink on Saturday,” she scoffed. “Get the boxes unpacked, bitch.”

“You’re supposed to be helping me!” I yelled. I dropped one of her boxes on the ground.

“I wonder if we could promise sexual favors to your boyfriend and brother and get them to do all the work for us.” I watched the liquid slosh around in the glass, afraid it was going to spill on our new-to-us couch.

“If this is how it’s going to go, I can already tell you are going to be the worst roommate in the history of roommates.” I picked up a box of clothes and stomped back to my room.

I had decided to get an apartment off campus. The house I had grown up in was days away from closing, and it felt like I was closing a chapter in my life. I had officially lost the only dad I had ever known, but I had gained a mother I had always desperately craved.

Originally, Will, Jax and I talked about getting an apartment together, but Will and Jax thought that would be too weird. Courtney jumped in and said we should make it a bitchin’ girl pad, her words, not mine. The lease on her apartment was almost up and she wanted to move anyway. I thought it was a great idea. At least at the time.

We started classes in two days and I wanted to have as much unpacked as possible. The problem was, Courtney was easily distracted. I placed the box next to my closet.

“Where do you want this box, Ry?” Will said, carrying a large box.

“Over by the closet somewhere.”

He put the box down next to the other box and came over, wrapping his arms around me. “It’ll be weird visiting you here.”

“It’ll be weird not having you living right next door.” I rested my cheek against his chest.

“I think it’ll be good. We won’t have my aunt around all the time, and I can leave Jax back at the dorm.”

“Courtney will still be here.”

“She’s oblivious most of the time. And it doesn’t matter because you’ll be here. Stop stressing out, Ryanne. We’ll find a way. We always do. We’ve made it through everything stronger and together. Nothing can come between us.”

I hugged him and relaxed, knowing he was right. I needed to have faith in him, myself, and us.

“There are a couple more boxes down in the truck. Jax and I will finish bringing them up, then we have to get going.” I was reluctant to let him go, though I knew I had to.

When all the boxes were in our apartment, Will kissed my forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I watched him walk down the stairs and closed the apartment door. Looking around at the various boxes, I sighed, feeling overwhelmed. Everything felt new and slightly scary.

“Welcome home!” Courtney squealed and threw her arms around me. “This is going to be the best year ever.”

“I think so too.” I smiled. Things would work out.

As long as I had my best friend, my brother, and my love, life would be good

If you’re struggling with self-harm, depression, or anxiety, please get help. Cutting can quickly go too far. Millions of people suffer with depression, anxiety, or another mental health issue.

Don’t suffer in silence. You aren’t alone.

For help, go to these websites or call:

To Write Love on Her Arms:
www.twloha.com

National Hopeline Network:
http://hopeline.com/
or call 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

National Institute of Mental Health:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/

People care and want to help. Please reach out.

When I was growing up and dreamed of being an author, I always thought I would sit down and write for a couple days and then it would be a best seller. I didn’t realize that it would involve so many people committed to helping me realize
my
dream. And each of these people were instrumental in this book being published. Every single one of them is special to me. Words on an acknowledgement page aren’t enough. These people deserve so much more.

Thank you to my husband for putting up with me during this. For not complaining about late meals or unwashed laundry or times when I was completely lost inside my own head while you were talking to me. Thank you for pushing me to pursue my dream, even on the days when I wanted to give up. You’ve been amazing through it all and I can’t thank you enough. Your faith in me and the gentle (and not so gentle) shoves mean so much to me. You’ve been amazing. Also, thank you for being such an awesome beta reader, or the Alpha Beta Reader. You literally read this almost as many times as I have. You’ve read every rewrite and edit and incarnation there was of this book and thank you for your invaluable feedback.

To my girls: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’ve put up with a mom who forgot things and was often distracted. You’ve been great and thank you for supporting your mom while she chased her dream. I love you both so much! Both of you make me so proud every day.

Carol Power: Thank you. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but there are no words except thank you. Thank you for helping me unlock the words necessary to write. Just… thank you.

Jennifer Roberts-Hall… The words. There aren’t any. It’s been a crazy road for sure, but I’m so glad I had you by my side. You’ve been so helpful and amazing to work with. You aren’t just my editor, you’ve become a close and valued friend. Thank you for investing as much in my dream as I did. I appreciate every single thing you have done. I’m glad we found each other. You rock and I <3 you so much!

Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations: Thank you a million times! Your work, as always, is beautiful and you took one sentence and created an amazingly beautiful cover. You are so talented and I am so honored to say you’ve designed a cover for me. I loved working with you and look forward to working with you in the future.

Kassi Cooper at Kassi’s Kandids Formatting: You jumped in at the last minute and saved the day… literally. You have been so amazing. Between the formatting and the teaser pictures… I don’t know what I would have done without you. Not to mention the million and two questions you answered. Thank you so much!

Ena and Jennifer at Enticing Journey Book Promotions: Thank you so much! You’ve been so informative and kind… You made a process that can be very scary and overwhelming so much easier to deal with. You girls are amazing at what you do and it was a pleasure to work with you!

My team of betas… You all rock!

Jaime Shockman-Williams: Thank you! You helped so much in more ways than one. I really appreciate your feedback.

Tracy Dalton: Thank you for all the kind words. They helped me push forward.

Ashleigh Russell: You had some really awesome critiques and I really thank you for taking time to read and help me out. Thank you for showing interest beyond the beta read. It meant so much to me that you asked how the book was coming. You are so incredibly sweet. Thank you!

Lisa Siatkosky: You had some really good comments and I appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to read and give me feedback.

Gretchen Cooley: Thank you! Even though you read it right before the massive rewrite. I hope you still like it!

Deana Wolstenholme: Thank you for such amazing feedback. Thank you for reading it and helping to steer me in the right direction. And for always answering my questions when I needed clarification.

Melanie Cesa: Thank you for being such a helpful beta. Thank you for all the help you gave me outside of the beta read. You have been so kind and helpful!

Roxie Madar: My TBSS, my beta fairy, my unofficial-yet-somewhat-official assistant… You have been invaluable throughout this process. You came in late in the game and literally changed everything. Thank you for being honest and helping me write the best story I could. Thank you for keeping me motivated on the days when this seemed so overwhelming and scary and impossible. Thank you for believing in me and this story on the days when I wanted to delete every word. Thank you so much for everything you have done. Just… thank you. You are so much more than a beta reader… you’ve become an invaluable friend. I’m so glad you were with me during this process!

Blogs are invaluable to an indie author, especially one just staring out. I’m fortunate enough that I stumbled upon some great blogs with some amazing people behind them. Each and every blog that I have talked to or who showed an interest… thank you.

Jaime Shockman-Williams at Curious Kindle Reader: Girl, you rock. Between beta reading and promoting this book before it was even available… Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!