The Fragrance of Her Name (47 page)

Lauryn shuddered, horrified at the thought. “No. And I don’t even want to imagine.”

“
Laura’s dress would’ve easily have been saturated at the hem, simply from walking around in this room while she was helping the men.” He ran his fingers through his hair in discouragement, disappointed in himself. “I thought it was mud. That’s why I was so curious about the springhouse when you first took me there.”

Suddenly, a great anxiety began to rise within Lauryn’s chest. The room began to spin and she knew that if she did not leave it, she would faint. “I have to get out of here for a moment,” she whispered, as she fled the house. Once outside, she stumbled down the front porch steps and onto the grass.

“
Are you all right?” Brant asked, taking hold of her arm in support. Lauryn was so thankful he had followed her out. For his sake, as well as her own.

She nodded. “I will be. It was just so warm in there. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.” Suddenly tears burst from her eyes and she looked up at him. “This is my home, Brant! I’ve lived in this beautiful house my whole life! And now…it will never, never, never be the same! Turned into a museum. Empty of laughter and love. And all that people will see is the ugliness!”

Brant reached out and gathered her into his arms. “Well, let me tell you something,” he began in a low, soothing tone. “This is a beautiful place. Even still. Think of it the way Patrick does. I think he’s right. Maybe…maybe you need to let it go. For a lot of reasons. But you need to remember that it was your home. Your beautiful, warm home filled with love and memories. And what better thing to happen to poor Connemara House, who endured so much, than to be appreciated, admired for her beauty and benevolence. To let people stand in awe of her experience, always the beauty of the south…still after that horrible day so long ago. Like your Nana, it healed. But I do think now…now might be the time for your family to let it go. Let it help remind others of what happened here. A tribute to all of those who bled for it.”

Lauryn hugged him tightly. Her beautiful Connemara. Even now, as she looked to the vine-covered home she’d loved so much, it was still magnificent. Perhaps it had healed. Like a soldier who comes home from battle with scars on his body, but his soul still in him. Beautiful…like the soldier who held her in his strong arms now.

“
Nana is right then,” Lauryn whispered. “Our time to find Lauralynn just ran out.” Forcing herself to release Brant, Lauryn stepped back and looked up at him as she wiped at her tears. “Let’s ask Nana about Carissa.”

“
Now?” Brant questioned. Lauryn knew how little either of them wanted to upset Virginia further. But Nana herself had told them time was short.

“
She won’t mind, Brant,” she assured him. “Let’s do it. Now! As soon as she gets back from her walk with Patrick.”

Brant nodded at Lauryn. He could feel it—the end. As if it were lurking around the next corner. And he wasn’t sad or afraid. Rather he was glad. For so many reasons, too. Glad for Lauralynn and the Captain. He could feel it…the fact that he and Lauryn would find her. But mostly, he was selfish in his gladness. For keeping himself from Lauryn…no…keeping himself from loving Lauryn completely and entirely like she was meant to be loved by him, was near to driving him insane!

He’d struggled with guilt, ever since the morning in the orchard when he’d told her he wouldn’t touch her again. Struggled with guilt and yet fury that he’d made such a ridiculous statement. Struggled with anger and self-loathing for hurting her in such an inane way. Keeping himself from her hadn’t helped him to stay anymore focused on finding Laura. In fact, it had made it all the worse! For now, instead of the sweet feel of Lauryn next to him, instead of the delicious taste of her mouth as they kissed being his distraction…it was the lack of those things that burdened his mind! The lack of owning her trust that caused him to nearly break into fits of angry swearing.

And so, Brant was glad for the ominous feeling in his soul. The feeling that things were about to change, forever.

Chapter
Nineteen

“
Nana?” Lauryn began as she and Brant sat with her grandmother on the front porch. “We…we’ve discovered somethin’ and we need to ask you about it.”

Instantly, Virginia’s eyes widened with hope. “What, darlin’! What have you found?”

“
In Vermont, we found letters in the Captain’s trunk. We…we were readin’ some of the letters Laura wrote to Brand while he was away at war. There’s a reference to…why didn’t you ever tell us? We think it might be important.”

“
What, dear?” Nana asked, confused at Lauryn’s rambling.

“
Your sister, Carissa,” Brant stated. “Why didn’t anyone ever talk about her?”

Lauryn felt guilty instantly, when she saw the rosiness drain from her grandmother’s face. Nana had been through too much miserable memory in the past few days to be emotionally healthy.

Quickly, Lauryn tried to soothe her. “We don’t want to upset you, Nana. But, in one of the letters, and maybe we should’ve just gone through the Captain’s again…but…but Laura mentioned havin’ seen Carissa and…”

“
I saw her, too,” Virginia confessed in a barely audible whisper. “The day of the battle. I saw her. Here at Connemara House.”

“
What?” Lauryn exclaimed. It was unbelievable! First of all, that her Nana could have a sister that she never, ever spoke of. And now this?

“
The day of the battle. I saw her. Carissa was here. But I was too afraid to tell anyone. And besides…whenever was there time with a war ragin’ on our own property?”

“
Why was she here?” Brant asked.

Nana daintily wiped a tear from her cheek with the handkerchief she produced from the waistband of her dress. “She…she was alone. So alone. And she was….she was…”

“
Expecting a baby?” Brant finished for her. Nana nodded and sniffled.

“
She had come in search of safety and….and maybe to find Daddy’s heart had softened. But she made me promise not to tell that I had seen her. She wanted to speak to Daddy herself because she didn’t want to upset Mama further….or Lauralynn. So, she kissed me on the cheek, asked my forgiveness for the sinful things she’d done to herself and the family, and….and I never saw her again.”

“
Never?” Lauryn asked.

“
No. Never,” her grandmother confirmed. “Sometimes I’d think I saw her…on a street corner or by a tree. Even as I’m older I sometimes think that…but it’s always someone else. Not her.”

“
Laura had seen her, too. On other occasions,” Brant mentioned.

“
I know,” Virginia Kensington admitted. “She told me. It had upset her terribly. She felt as if Carissa was mockin’ her…still tryin’ to ruin the love she and Brand had. But nothin’ ever could’ve. Nothin’! And Carissa knew that. And besides, Laura helped her. I think Carissa’s heart did change. Truly. And Laura was able to forgive her. And she helped her. Though, Daddy never knew.”

“
So, Carissa was here that day,” Brant mumbled pensively, more to himself than anyone.

“
I’m sorry, children,” Nana sighed suddenly. “This day has been too much for me. I’ll talk with you about it later…but I just feel that I can’t take another moment of it just now. I need some rest.”

“
Of course, Nana,” Lauryn soothed. “You just sit here in the rocker and rest your eyes a while.”

Nana nodded. “Oh, Carissa,” she sighed. “How I loved her! And she was good to me. Always played tea party with Lauralynn and me. Always helped me and looked after me. Always…until Brand and Lauralynn…”

“
Rest now, Nana,” Lauryn soothed. “Put it from your mind.”

“
Thank you, darlin’,” Virginia said as she sighed a breath of letting go.



Lauryn stood in the barren room that had been hers for her entire life. The room that now stood empty, lonely. The soft, lovingly stitched quilts were gone, the soft bed…the crystal bowls of floating flowers and candles. Everything was gone. Everything except the gruesome blood stains on the floor. There was a particularly massive one directly in the center of the room, and it was disturbing beyond description to Lauryn. Her beautiful haven of privacy…gone forever.

Brant had gone for a walk. He’d said he’d needed to think. So with her Nana resting in the rocker on the porch, her mother on the back porch with Mr. DuMonde from the historical society, and Patrick off getting into who-knew-what kind of mischief…Lauryn found herself completely, and somewhat unwillingly, alone.

“
They’re at peace,” he said from behind her. Instantly, at the sound of the Captain’s familiar voice, Lauryn felt comforted. She turned to face him. “The men who died here…they’re happy, peacefully that way.”

Lauryn nodded and tried to smile at him. “And…and…do you think it’s right, Captain…to let Connemara become…become….”

“
Yes. I do,” he stated, stepping forward and gathering her into his consoling embrace. “Without tangible and dramatic tokens of history…people forget what went before, why they have freedom, how their ancestors literally made their lives possible.”

“
But…Connemara…it’s my life! Every childhood memory I have is here! How can I ever leave it behind and…” Lauryn sobbed.

“
Connemara will stand forever, Lauryn,” the Captain reminded her. “And it is, after all, a
thing
. People have been born here, loved here and had to leave it behind for generations now. Isn’t that so? Connemara protected and warmed you and you will always love her. But you would’ve left soon enough to live your life out somewhere else.” The Captain took her face in his hands and gazed adoringly into her eyes. “But you’ll never lose Connemara. She’s part of your soul.”

Lauryn smiled and snuggled tighter into his embrace. “I know. I suppose that secretly I’m more worried that…that Connemara is what has kept Brant…that Connemara is the magic that…”

“
That kept him coming back to you,” he finished for her.

“
Yes,” she admitted.

“
No, sweet angel. You did that on your own.”

“
Lauryn! We’re losin’ our minds,” Brant growled as he entered the room.

“
What?” Lauryn exclaimed, pushing herself from the Captain’s arms immediately.

“
Excuse me, sir.” Brant nodded at the Captain as he took hold of Lauryn’s hand and began fairly dragging her from the room. “But time’s awastin’ and all this mess with the house nearly made me forget why we rushed back.” Glancing back at the Captain, he added, “You might want to come along, sir.” The Captain nodded and followed them out of the room.

“
What are you goin’ on about?” Lauryn asked, trying to hitch her skirt up enough to enable her to keep up with his furious pace toward the attic.

“
The false bottom…in Laura’s trunk. Remember?” he mumbled, undaunted.

Lauryn gasped, suddenly remembering their purpose and rather horrified that she’d allowed herself to forget it! As they rushed up the stairs toward the attic, Lauryn’s heart began to pound madly. Her skin prickled and she knew…she knew they would find something…something that would change their lives, hers and Brant’s…Laura’s and the Captain’s…forever.



“
I knew it,” Brant mumbled as he sat the last treasure of Lauralynn’s trunk aside and put his hand flat on the trunk bottom. Lauryn’s heart began to beat madly with anticipation. It was important! Her very soul knew it.

Careless of the trunks condition or end, Brant drove his fist through the planking that was the false bottom. “I knew it,” he repeated. “It is just like yours, isn’t it Captain?”

“
Yes,” was all the Captain said. Lauryn noticed momentarily again, that the Captain didn’t seem as…as vivid as he had before. But as Brant reached into the trunk, removing a small bundle of letters, her thoughts turned to their task once more.

Setting the letters aside quickly, he reached in again and withdrew an ancient piece of sheet music and a photograph perhaps fourteen inches in width and twelve inches high.

“
Oh, my goodness,” Lauryn whispered as she gazed at the photograph Brant held. “Brant?” Lauryn breathed as he held up the photograph for her to see better. “Brant…are you seein’ here what I’m seein’?”

The photograph obviously had been taken on Brandon and Lauralynn’s wedding day. For there they stood, the Captain and his lady, at the center of focus, surrounded by other people. Lauryn recognized her great-grandfather and great-grandmother O’Halleran. She’d seen them in other photographs in the family albums, knowing them at once in the one Brant now held. And, there were three young men she recognized, as well. Lauralynn’s brothers. And there was her grandmother, Virginia Anne O’Halleran…a small girl of eight, standing to Lauralynn’s right and holding a china doll. But the other person in the photograph astonished Lauryn the most! The person standing directly to the Laura’s left sent a shiver up Lauryn’s spine and caused the hair on the back of her neck to bristle.

“
It’s Brandon and Laura,” Brant mumbled. “But…but…if I didn’t know better…and I
do
know better,” Brant stammered. “That girl next to the Captain is the spittin’ image of…of your friend Penny McGovern.”

Carefully, Lauryn took the photograph from Brant’s trembling grasp. Turning it over to see if there was anything written on the back she read aloud. “
August 16, 1863
.
The wedding of Brandon Masterson and Lauralynn O’Halleran
.”